My life sucks big time! everything seems to go wrong.. work life, personal life, love life.. SUCKS

1. being scolded coz i say i dunno to PLC or contactor or watsoever... this is not my field, hw shld i noe?!? i'm NOT all rounder! i'm juz a normal human being with my strenght and weakness!!!!!

2. beind shoot for nth... was given instrcutions by boss that i shld communicate Technically with the customer directly.. nw he scolded me coz i replied the email... n better still he always blame ME n nt his staff nor the customers! it's only me who is in the wrong.... i cannot tahan... i ran into one of my worker's arms and cried out loud... y m i being scolded for sth i FOLLOWED instructions? n i searched for the BLACK and WHITE the whole day, juz to EXPLAIN myself.

Then, the very impt person in my life is so angry with me tt she dun wish to tok to me. n i dun even noe wat to do... coz anything will trigger the anger.. n it will make things worse...
anyway, it is me lah.... i'm juz plain to toopid... being a directionless creature.. no pt explaining as it is a fact.. n everyday at work... explaining is damn tiring... after work.. i still have to explain...
make matter worse... even my own bro oso need me to EXPLAIN MYSELF for 2 whole hrs!
y?? m i such a failure that the whole world need me to explain myself then they noe wat is happening or why i do this/that?

Mommy said tt ever since i went back work.. i've changed... i become more aggressive... and noe hw to protect myself le (which she feels is good).. i have been miss goody for so long (my mom always say i dunno hw to protect myself)... after being shoot so frequently... i become a porcupine.. i will retaliate if i feel threaten.. mommy say she understand coz my work environment, tt's y i become like tt... but she felt tt i have become from this extreme (extreme nice and temperless) to the other extreme (like a porcupine)... she asked me.. 'R U HAPPY?'
i didnt ans... but i wanted to say, I M NOT! i hate myself nw! i'm no longer the nice TYL tt is easy to get along with... i'm no longer the friendly TYL who is well like and well love by everyone.... i'm juz someone who everyone hates! i have more n more time being alone.. n i hate it! Mommy say i shld learn hw to strike a balance.. can protect myself.. n at the same time be friendly...

with all these happenings.. i realised tt i miss him like crazy.. hw i wish he is here... holding me tight.. telling me everything is juz a nightmare... hw i wish i can really cry my heart out in his arms... with him acting cute n silly juz to make me laugh... but no... this will never happen again... n i shld say luckily he is not here.. coz if he is here.. but have no time for me.. i think i will be sadder... well.. blessing in disguise...

haiz... 无奈，无助，无能为力.. my life is juz so F*** UP!

I had this weird dream:

I dream tt i drove a BENZ (ok... dun ask me hw come.. i oso wondering it myself), to a chalet @ dunno where. This place got chalet and condo de... this is supposingly a chalet with Jason, JX, Harris and gang... but i saw my pdtn workers toking to me.. telling me hw to go to the chalet.
(As i say.. this is a weird dream)

Then i parked my car at somewhere very far away from the stated chalet... and walked towards it.. then when i reach the place.. (it was up on a hill), i went to explore and see is there any possibility tt i can park my car near the chalet... as i walked out of the chalet.. there is this guy behind...

he is my BF in my dream.. he walked towards me and hugged me and asked me where i was going? and we held our hands walking ard to find the place for my car to park. Then i found out tt i can reach the chalet if i drove up a multi-storey carpark... i have no confidence in driving up.. so i asked 'HIM' if he wld acc me... and if i happened not to be able to drive.. he shld take over..

Then next sence... we were in the car... he was holding me the way i like guys hold me in REAL LIFE... then everything was blur blur.. i woke up...

I DIDNT GET TO SEE WHO IS THIS SUPPOSINGLY BF!! only noe he is quite tall and big.. (NOT FAT... is juz not those skinny type)...not wearing specs.... then dunno liao...

funny dream rite?? i was wondering m i so in need of a guy till like tt?!?!? wahahahhaa.... anyway, i shall go n sleep and see if i can get a clearer pic of this Boyfriend... :p

"hi, hope everything is fine for u. Dun reply me, coz i still not intend to have anything to do with u yet. I juz feel that it's unfair to u that i suddenly MIA since u did nth wrong. Sorry, but i really cant be the good fren u hoped for. so no contact is the best for both of us n the best thing i can give you the last time. Without me, mayb u'll be happier. Take Care."

Yes, it still hurts... but it shld be done. I'm choosing the 'should do, must do, have to do' path instead of the 'want to do' path... this is the 无奈 in life. Just let nature takes its course.. time heals....

BTW, a happy note....
ONLINE RADIO IS BACK!!!

Tiny changes to my blog... ok.. yx will say she allergy to pink... but this time round i did not purposely put pink de.. wahahaha... juz to suit my header de.. hehe

I've changed the song... u will find it familiar.. it is the same tune as the song 寂寞光年 - 刘力杨 the ending song for the channel 8 show 双子星...

Jade Liu changed the lyrics, and nw is a new song call 礼物. It is in her new album 转寄刘力扬

刘力扬 - 礼物
词：刘力扬 曲：80 time

终于可以在今天划上句点
一整夜 翻阅过去画面
想不起我们为何会诀别
只看到那双你送的鞋

走一步又一步
我才发现绕了个圈
走了好几年
又回到原点

你送的礼物 会不会太特别
毫不避讳 那不安的传言
但渐行渐远 习惯到没感觉
难道你早想要我走远

你送的礼物 在此刻好体贴
陪我回忆 把过往走一遍
穿了这些年 难免会有污点
就像每段爱 总会有终点

世上最残酷的 恐怕是时间
困住人 一切却还向前
干涸的眼 再挤不出一点咸
爱到如此可悲的境界

走一步又一步
却跟不上你的脚步
你满意了
为什么我却只想要哭

你送的礼物 会不会太特别
毫不避讳 那不安的传言
但渐行渐远 习惯到没感觉
难道你早想要我走远

你送的礼物 在此刻好体贴
陪我回忆 把过往走一遍
穿了这些年 难免会有污点
就像每段爱 总会有终点

你说做自己吧
我们都做回自己
不要再为爱受委屈

你送的礼物 原来是一场劫
夙命一样准确
可笑到想要 你赔给我时间
爱情有时廉价得可怜

光著脚我一路奔跑
鲜血泪水一路狂飙
收起我的骄傲
承认曾经备受煎熬

鞋上那记号
只有你能明了
过了这一夜
我就全忘掉

Damn.. feel like sleepin.... yes.. it is the middle of the day.. n i'm doing a report halfway... and am damn sleepy le..

anyway, juz to inform ppl who r out there worrying tt tyl might go into the way/direction or anything.. STOP worrying... wahahaa.. coz it WILL NEVER happen... y? coz it wun happen lah... coz it is not morally rite lor... :P



They are not my type of coffee nor tea nor dish... yes.. initially, it was quite interesting to noe them.. coz they are like big bros, looking out for u... n better still.. no need to worry abt them.. they will worry abt u.. (GOOD thing abt older guys)... hahaha



But, they are soooo uncle, so no fun... soooo erm... *boring*.... ahahah... not funny... at times really damn bored sia.. hhahaha.. n quite sian lah.. so no worries... :) plus i dun feel the sincerity of being frens.. i dunno leh.. it is a total different feeling from OFM and CP... tt 2.. i can really feel tt they sincerely wanna be frens... but these few... i dun have the feeling.. i always feel there is a motive.. so i dun treat them very well actually... as compared to OFM they all.. hahaha



wahahahahahaa....

Got this from a fren's blog... it is very meaningful... one or more applies to u.... they are frm famous authors or ppl ard the world....

1。莎士比亚说:
再好的东西都有失去的一天。
再深的记忆也有淡忘的一天。
再爱的人，也有远走的一天。
再美的梦也有苏醒的一天。
该放弃的决不挽留。
该珍惜的决不放手。
分手后不可以做朋友，因为彼此伤害过！
也不可以做敌人，因为彼此深爱过

2。几米说:
当你喜欢我的时候，我不喜欢你,
当你爱上我的时候，我喜欢上你,
当你离开我的时候，我却爱上你,
是你走得太快，还是我跟不上你的脚步,
我们错过了诺亚方舟,错过了泰坦尼克号,错过了一切的惊险与不惊险,
我们还要继续错过.
我不了解我的寂寞来自何方，但我真的感到寂寞。
你也寂寞，世界上每个人都寂寞，只是大家的寂寞都不同吧。

3。刘心武说:
不要指望，麻雀会飞得很高。
高处的天空，那是鹰的领地。
麻雀如果摆正了自己的位置，它照样会过得很幸福！

4。亦舒说:
人们日常所犯最大的错误，是对陌生人太客气，而对亲密的人太苛刻，把这个坏习惯改过来，天下太平。

5。郭敬明说:
我终于发现自己看人的眼光太过简单,我从来没有去想面具下面是一张怎样的面容,
我总是直接把面具当做面孔来对待,却忘记了笑脸面具下往往都是一张流着泪的脸.

6。刘心武说:
对不起是一种真诚，没关系是一种风度。
如果你付出了真诚，却得不到风度，那只能说明对方的无知与粗俗！

7。韩寒说:
再累再苦就当自己是二百五再难再险就当自己是二皮脸

8。安妮宝贝说:
当一个女子在看天空的时候，她并不想寻找什么。她只是寂寞。

9。遇见平凡说:
缘分像一本书。翻的不经意会错过童话; 读得太认真又会流干眼泪.

10。张小娴说:
爱，从来就是一件千回百转的事。
不曾被离弃，不曾受伤害，怎懂得爱人？

11。亦舒说:
无论怎么样，一个人借故堕落总是不值得原谅的； 越是没有人爱，越要爱自己。

12。刘心武说:
与其讨好别人，不如武装自己；
与其逃避现实，不如笑对人生
与其听风听雨，不如昂首出击！

13。张爱玲说:
娶了红玫瑰，久而久之，红玫瑰就变成了墙上的一抹蚊子血，
白玫瑰还是“床前明月光”；
娶了白玫瑰，白玫瑰就是衣服上的一粒饭渣子，
红的还是心口上的一颗朱砂痣。

14。三毛说:
一个朋友很好，两个朋友就多了一点，三个朋友就未免太多了。
知音，能有一个已经很好了，不必太多，
如果实在没有，还有自己，好好对待自己，跟自己相处，也是一个朋友…

15。雪小禅说:
我以为终有一天，我会彻底将爱情忘记，将你忘记。
可是，忽然有一天，我听到了一首旧歌，我的眼泪就下来了，
因为这首歌，我们一起听过。

16。郭敖说:
我们始终都在练习微笑，终于变成不敢哭的人。

17。三毛说:
不要害怕拒绝他人，如果自己的理由出于正当。
当一个人开口提出要求的时候，他的心里根本预备好了两种答案。
所以，给他任何一个其中的答案，都是意料中的。

18。梓色心晴说:
男人哭了，是因为他真的爱了~
女人哭了，是因为她真得放弃了。

19。玄漪说:
能够说出的委屈，便不算委屈；
能够抢走的爱人，便不算爱人。

20。张爱玲说:
爱情本来并不复杂，来来去去不过三个字，
不是“我爱你”、“我恨你”，便是“算了吧”、“你好吗”、“对不起”。

21。马云说:
晚上想想千条路,早上醒来走原路。

22。饶雪漫说:
这个世界欺骗了我，我必须给与还击，
我不会放掉任何一丁点儿属于我的幸福，
哪怕付出的代价是从此坠入地狱，我也在所不惜。

23。郭敖说:
每个人一生之中心里总会藏着一个人，
也许这个人永远都不会知道，尽管如此，
这个人始终都无法被谁所替代。
而那个人就像一个永远无法愈合的伤疤，
无论在什么时候，
只要被提起，或者轻轻的一碰，就会隐隐作痛。

24。GARVEN说:
话是人说的，屁也是人放的，
说话和放屁一样，都是一口气而已。

25。三毛说:
某些人的爱情，只是一种“当时的情绪”。
如果对方错将这份情绪当做“长远的爱情”，是本身的幼稚。

26。张小娴说:
如果没法忘记他，就不要忘记好了。
真正的忘记，是不需要努力的。

27。人非草木说:
再丑的人也能结婚，再美的人也会单身！

28。张爱玲说:
因为爱过，所以慈悲；
因为懂得，所以宽容。

Does anyone of the sayings trigger ur memories? or emotions? or agreement?
Well... they did, for me.. :)

I'm juz soooo excited.... hehe.. helping to think of names for hx baby liao leh... hhehee... baby due in January wo... Hx, u muz remember... for baby sake and ur sake.. u muz keep a happy and relax mindset wo....
Think most prob is girl wo.... n we r deciding on the following names.... let's vote!!! hehehe

1. Iris - Colorful, Rainbow (dervied from Greek, ancient symbol of powder, dedicated to God Juno)
2. Abbie - Joy of the Father (English)
3. Felicis - Latin word for Happy, Lucky, Fortunate
4. Kelis - Beautiful (American)

which is nice???

Other than the preious few in my life, i have one VERY IMPT person. she is definitely NOT perfect, and she can make u scream and pull ur hair and be angry at her... yet, u cant live without her!!

She is lazy, pure lazy that she would rather sleep than acc u have KTV, or BFAST or LUNCH or SUPPER, BUT when she noes tt u r really craving for it.. she die die oso acc u.. (provided she in good mood lah)

She is crazy,,,, she can be acting silly with u, laughing happily at one moment.. next moment.. she will scold u for being so silly...

She is a critic! she can condemn u till u upside down, she can be so straight fwd tt u would be hurt by her words, she is someone who wish u to be the perfect person in her mind. she wanna u to live her way and live up to her expectations.... YET, deep down, u noe she accepts u as who u r... juz tt at times she wanna remind u to be careful.. dun get hurt... (but sometimes, b4 i get hurt.. she hurt me already.. aiyo... hahaa)

She is such a bimbo!! her actions, her way of toking, her knowledge... will make u wonder.. hw come she can study for degree with almost 1st class honours... she made u cry and laugh at the same time. DUN ever test her chinese! u will vomit blood! go shopping with her.. u will go crazy if u r not trained b4.. yet without her, ur life is a bore...

She makes no sense!! she is random and lame and can come up with actions and theories a NORMAL human being cant think of de.. n her weird stuff may make u laugh till u cry!!! this always make my day.. n i muz say, i'm PROUD to intro her to everyone ard me.. coz she bring laughter to everyone!!! (ok.. she will complain.. she say 'my mommy dun give birth to me as an entertainer de ok')

She very no respect... she dun give u a damn if u r the mighty god or the teacher or the lecture or the wise old man.. if she think tt there is no logic or not realistic... be prepared to shoot by her... she wun give face de... This is her...

She is a damn lousy cooker... and yet loves to offer to cook for ppl...

i'm attention seeker, she is attention attracter... so sometimes i really wanna strangle her of attracting all the attention... BUT, then again... it is ok lah... coz sometimes she attract the WRONG guys.. which i really glad tt i dun.. wahahahahaa...

see.. everyone has flaws... even her.. she is not perfect, she is damn irritating... but i juz cant live without her.. she missed me when i dun come home early reguarly (she uses suaning to bring this msg across to me), she really cares... though she dun show... she is actually sensitive de wo.. (she acted like she is nt... ) she really needs someone to tok with (SHE WILL NEVER ADMIT IT), she is also has a fragile heart.. she needs ppl's support for her to carry on with her damn irritating sch life... she is not as strong as wat everyone sees to be..

she loves u, so she have very high expectation for u... so when u cant do it.. she will condemn u.. but then she still accepts u as who u r...

so this is her.. MY BELOVED SISTER!! TYX.. Tan Yan Xin!! haha... i cant imagine my life without her! n i'm s0 proud to intro her as my sis to everyone... (though she loves overtaking.. wahahaha..)

i'm REALLY REALLY afraid to lose her.. tt was my most terrible nightmare in my younger days...

I went to buy my watch... hehe Titus watch!! hehe.. yes, using the money my darlings gave me de.. so can say is my late bdae present...
THANK YOU - Ms Wong YT, Mr Darren Peng YH, Mr Hong JM, Ms Hoon HH, Ms Cheryl Wee SH, erm... Ms Tan YX... r u involved?? hahaha... THANK YOU OSO lah.. coz u contributed 1st mah... hehehee MUACKz.. hehee

It is rose gold wo... hahhahaha

一封寄不出去的信

XXX,

结果，我们还是走到了这一步。想起来，好像一切是注定的。

还记得吗? 我曾和你说我有个不祥的预感∶我即将失去你，因为你离我越来越远。

你叫我别想太多，你不是好好的坐在我身边吗？当时的我觉得好感动、好幸福。因为有你，所以就忽略了在心里最深处的呐喊。

心底很清楚地感受到这一切都是个梦，很快就会消失，但我却宁愿沉浸在你给的甜美时光里，也不愿去面对心底的呼喊∶我即将走入一个深渊，一个会让我痛苦的深渊。我放纵自己，让自己去享受你所给的一切，我以为当你离开时我会很快就淡忘一切，我以为我能潇洒的放下。

我太高估我自己了，还是太低估了我对你的感情？我自己也不知道，只知道我想逃，不想在这里打转。 好累。

我已做了决定。三年前是你选择离开、选择逃避。三年后，是我选择离开。

说不会心痛是骗人的。我的心比什么都还要痛。看见你送我的熊，眼泪会不由自主地掉下来。经过曾和你走过的路、看过的事物、做过的事都会让我勾起那些回忆。我一直都在和不一样的人去同样的地方、做同样的事，为了就是要制造新的回忆。但都不能。

说不想你是骗人的。无时无刻你的笑容、温柔、可爱表情、幼稚的举动都会出现在我脑海里。想要有人陪伴、有人给与温柔的拥抱时更加想你。所以，我一工作来麻痹自己。让我自己忙就不会有空闲的时间想你。

虽然还会担心你；怕你有心事不说、怕你累坏身子、怕你吃不好睡不好。但我想我的担心是多余的。你现在也许很幸福。

我很累。真得好累。不明不白的关系托了这么多年，是时候有个了结。我选择放弃、离开。既然你不能给我爱情，我也给不了你友情，我们就走到这里。其实这决定不只害我失去一位我最在乎的人、也害你失去一位好友。真是抱歉。
不过还是要谢谢你曾在我生命中留下美好的回忆。心还是会痛，但长痛不如短痛。再托下去我会更加遍体鳞伤。

也许我会用一段很长的时间把你淡忘、也许我一辈子都忘不了你。以后的事，谁能预料？只能说，也许很久很久以后再见到你，能若无其事的和你打声招呼也不一定。

祝福你，
曾经的好友

if u realised tt my font size is bigger. yes.. no worries... nt ur screen prob... u didnt see wrongly.. i've changed it!

COZ I GOT A BROTHER ( A BLOOD BROTHER WITH SAME MOTHER AND FATHER AND SISTER), by the name of Mr. BEN TAN YONG WEI, age 25 yet with a mentality, hearing and sighting condition of a 70 year old man complained tt my blog is soooooo complicated and the wordings are so small tt everytime he reads it, he feel like bashing me up! SO TO SATISFY HIM, i increased the font size!!! and when i'm free, i'll make it OLD MAN PROOF!

btw, this is my blog.. i think i can write watever i want rite?

to the selected few: msn me to get the full story. If u r still wondering if u are the selected one? reassure.. u r not..

Have u ever encounter this kind of scenerio?

Early in the morning 0930, ur hp rang (u normally off ur hp when u r asleep, ONLY on it when u awake, so u WERE REALLY wondering y n how come ur hp will ring! and plus u slept at 0430 juz nw, so u can imagine the ring of hp WAS definitely NOT a WELCOMING sound). U picked up the call.
While you were still blur blur, the other party gave u the shocked of ur life! this happened to me THIS MORNING...

"U r still SLEEPING?!"
"Yah..." Hello!? it is 0930! n it is a SAT morning, of coz i'm still in bed!
"I'm waiting for u at the swimming pool nw, n u r still in bed?!" the caller shouted

WAIT!? since when i promised to wake up early for a morning swim? NO, i didnt promise! i didnt say yes! i was sure! but y is the caller there n INSISTED tt I had agreed!?!?

"Huh? I got say i going meh? no ar.. i didnt promise..."

I was scratching my head.. n trying to wake tt mind up and rake all the events tt had happened the past few days... I WAS SURE i didnt say i going....

"Yes, u did! nw hw!? u r leaving me here? u fly me aeroplane!" Yes, the caller sounded pissed

Inward, I groaned! TRYING damn hard to remember DID I EVER SAY tt i going swimming?!! n My body really do not have the strenght to get up....

"when did i fly aeroplane? i didnt promise u!!" OH DEAR! help me! i wanna sleep somemore!!!
"YES! YES!! I WANT u to come out nw!!!!" if this caller is any other body... i think i wld juz hang up n go back to sleep... but tt is my PRECIOUS FEW!

I dragged myself out of bed.. mentally thinking where did i put my swimming costume.. and hw can i pack my stuff using the fastest way... n wondering did i say YES in my dreams!? n trying to reason out with the caller that i DIDNT agree to go swimming...

Yes, i was thinking of going out liao... of coz, not tt i admit tt i had agreed to go swimming and had forgotten.. is coz tt caller is the PRECIOUS FEW...

Then... wait.. i heard tt behind the shouting, there was a smile... a laughter... THIS CUTE CALLER OF MINE, called me early in the morning at 0930 after her swim, to wake me up and gimme a scare of my life and then smile and say
"It is a nice sat morning! u shldnt be sleeping! u muz wake up!"
"aiyo, i slept at 0430. Please leh.. let me sleep can?"
"who tell u to sleep at 0430?"
"I normally off my hp, hw come it is on today? and u can reach me?!"
"HAHAHAHAA.. it is FATED! WAKE UP!!!"
"my da xiao jie, i really slept at 0430!"
"i dun care, i woke up so early... so u oso have to wake up!!!"

I groaned again.. n she laughed... and say 'i missed u leh, so call u lor'
GOD KNOWS THE TRUTH!!

Oh god! i never on my hp till i wake up! n i think i juz accidentally on it b4 i slept today... this happened! really fated sia...
Supposingly i shld be in a bad mood and gonna curse n swear.. haiz... but i think i owe this person in my past life sia.. i wasnt abit pissed, and even acc to chat till she reached home. n the details? i dun really remember... coz i was still in dazed!!!!

yes, this person woke me up... end up, at 0930 i was online and playing FB!! my sis woke up and asked me.. "did u even sleep?"
HAIZ!!! u noe my reasons!

YES, this is the precious few that u will spend ur time with.. rot ur time away with, and u enjoy the company. This is the precious few tt u noe hw tired u r, or hw bz u r, u will oso make the effort to meet each other (esp when u all haven meet each other for sometime); be it juz a 30min dinner plus a short walk frm cwp to my tuition kid hse, or a long lazy afternoon. this is the precious few who noe ur whole family inside out, and can share ur woes. This is the precious few who can laugh at ur joke of the day/year, suan u like no tml, listen to all ur complains abt work, or simply to bitch ard and cry with u when u r hurting. This is the precious few tt u noe, even if they say they r not gonna meet u, does not love u, tell u to stop zi zuo duo qing or angry with u or say tt his/her dog is more impt, they will always be there when u need them... this is the precious few tt will hit u and scold u and remind u if u happen to go towards the wrong direction... this is the precious few tt will acc u, when the whole world is attached and living in their own world....

so wat if this precious few is attached!? wahahaha.. dunno leh.. we'll see when the time comes.. hehehee

Side line: This cute caller of mine, happily tell me tt she is going to take her LONG awaited afternoon nap at 1400 and thanks to her, i cant sleep as i'm meeting a fren at 1500 so i need to go out at 1400!!

NW IS 0400 AGAIN! and i make sure my hp is OFF this time round.. YEP! it is off! n dun try calling my hse, my room dun have phone anymore.. hehe...

Thanks to Ivan, i got a webby of dream decoder @ http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdictionarysearch.pl?method=exact&header=dreamsymbol&search=snake!! hahaa

Snake

To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you. Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced. Alternatively, the snake may be seen as phallic and thus symbolize temptation, dangerous and forbidden sexuality. If you are afraid of the snake, then it signifies your fears of sex, intimacy or commitment. The snake may also refer to a person around you who is callous, ruthless, and can't be trusted. As a positive symbol, snakes represent healing, transformation, knowledge and wisdom. It is indicative of self-renewal and positive changes.�
To see the skin of a snake in your dream, represents protection from illnesses.
To dream that you are eating a live snake, indicates that you are looking for intimacy or sexual fulfillment. Your life is lacking sensuality and passion. If you vomit or throw up the snake, then it may mean that you are overcompensating for something that is lacking in your life. You may be rushing into something.

Hmmm.. conclusion: People ard me ARE callous, ruthless and cant be trusted... coz alot snakes ard me...then one big white snake squased to death means tt one of them will be removed frm my life?!

Scary rite?! WHO CAN I TRUST? poor me.. i shall be low profile nw... n only stick to my beloved yt and ivan.. wahahahaha

suddenly got the 'spend $$' feeling... so went to buy a new card tag for office access card, a new hp pouch and accessory for my hp! As those who noe me shld noe, I'm A VICTIM of cute stuffs... well.. my beloved bro seems to 4got abt it... i bought all these ALL BY MYSELF!




Asmine went China, she cant find anything to buy.. but saw alot of doraemon.. so end up getting these for me... cute lor... wahaha...



I had a werid dream previous night.. i dreamed tt i was in a room with A LOT of snakes haning down frm the ceiling.. once u walked past.. can feel it sliding ard ur shoulders/back.. *shivers*....
then suddenly saw a white snake on the floor.. being 'squashed' to death by a door.. bloody image.. "shivers*... i noe dreamed of snakes is actually quite good... however, my dream so weird... wonder wat it mean... any dream decoder?? hahahahaa

ok.. this sounds stupid... but i've lost everything in my hp!!! y?? story goes like this:

I realised tt my media player cant read the memory in my memory card and can view photos frm my camera album. I was wondering wat happen for abt 1 week.. then i decided to use media manger to sync my hp with comp... but still it cant work... so finally i decided maybe is the software out of date... so i downloaded the software... to update my hp...

but i 4got one most impt thing... coz i cant sync my hp with comp... i 4got abt the stuff in my phone memory... so end up i didnt back up!!! n GONE, the whole list of phone numbers which took me 3 days to organise.. so frens/suppliers whom i met/saved ur number after i bought my this new C905, which is after Apr 2009, ur numbers are gone... so if u all are kind enough sms me using ur number...

then ALL the sms i DID NOT delete for memory purposes are gone! all memory GONE! i told yp... she say she gonna celebrate. y? coz she told me it's time to start afresh... 4got abt watever had happen... all memory gone is good.. at least i wun go back thinking wat had happen.. n hw sweet things were last time..

yes.. myhp is nw as good as new... with new software... limited phone numbers, and zero sms... mayb it is an indication...start afresh... can i do it?! y do i still feel the pain? i tot i'm numb.... haiz...

anyway, XH!! i'm really counting down liao.... mayb cant go overseas.. coz seems like no one got time to go... but we def WILL do sth!!! hahahaa

"The Biggest Loser" is now on... n the 2 contestants are juz to slackers who cant resist food. Bring chocolate cakes, mooncakes to any of them... see if theey will tell u they are on diet... wait... they will say they r on diet... BUT will still eat...

bring them to any Zhi Char... order crabs and stuff they like... you will see them eating happily... hahhaa... both of them have the voting system... and seems like yx is leading on the score board... y izzit so? coz her frens r loyal to her... BLINDLY... hahaha.... i have a few feedbacks frm her frens.. :
1. she sure will not lose so much weigh.. but as a fren we still vote for her
2. aiyah.. vote for her, let her happy
3. aiyo..i press wrongly lah

erm... so u noe hw she got all the votes?
anyway, i'm starting the betting system.. who is interested?
the rates for both of them are as below:
1. Yt - 1:5 (i decided not to be evil to put 1:10... hahaa)
2. Yx - 1:2 (this is base on the votes online)

Well... being the closest person to them... i cant take sides nor vote... so... i take bets!! hahhahaa

oh ya... another insider news.. one of yt's vote is yx's beloved bro vote de... Y IS THIS SO?! coz yx bro always side his sis.. so when he saw the title 'Who is the biggest loser?' he straight away click on yt... coz his beloved sister CAN NEVER be a loser!! hahahaha...

Enough of the updates... pls choose wisely.. n place ur bets...
Contact me for the bets... and will give the latest update on the voting results.
Voting will end in 88 days.

Damn irritated! Y I dun seems to have sth nice and happy happening recently!?!?

I got a news frm tt boss who is not my direct boss... he told me, my baby is not not selling. N need to change. so held a meeting to discuss wat shld be changed! he said ppl didnt noe tt we r selling white coffee. I DIDNT SELL IT AS WHITE COFFEE IN THE FIRST PLACE!

then half hr earlier, he commented tt for us R&D ppl, shld think out of the box. dun wanna a 'me too' product. Dun follow the crowd. Half hr later, he told me tt my baby is so different with the white coffee in the market. THE TASTE PROFILE WAS DIFFERENT WAT!!! hw to sell it as white coffee!?!?!?

From the start, they wanted a product that is no longer the 'uncle and auntie' style. i did it... nw they told me it is not selling, coz no one noe it is white coffee and uncles aunties dunno wat is Double Shot! Come on! at 1st he blamed us for not focusing on the targeted grp of the pdt. but who is the one NOT focusing!!? i wanna target young and executive RIGHT FROM THE START!!!!!!! nw coz a few commenting that we r not selling white coffee, they wanna change the pdt to white coffee and sell!!! wat sales not good...

Did they noe tt they actually nearly kill it when it 1st launch!? they happily change the raw mat. when it juz lauched and when i wasnt ard, the tatse went off!!! when i came back, i insisted in using back the original raw mat... then it is slowly moving up, they tell me sales not good.. so need a plastic surgery!!!

Say wat, R&D have a say... i say liao.. end up!? still do wat u all think is right! anyone consider hw i feel!? tt is my baby!!! a baby i spent a year formulating FROM scratch... n they AGREED ON THE DESIGN!! ok.. i agree that the pdt name shld not be at the bottom.. BUT IT IS A NEW STYLE WAT!?!?

They wanna change, let them change! i nt gonna care! next time they tell me to position my pdt, i shall tell them, they will change anyway... so they decide!

Anyway, ppl tell me... my DOUBLE SHOT... comment on the design... I WANNA THE TRUTH! no need care if i'm hurting anymore... coz i numb le!

wah... life is crazy recently. with the shifting of factory almost can drain me... i have been working OTs plus my weekends burned juz to go back to new office, then this long weekend, i have been waking up at 8sth to go office till i 错乱.. even asked my mom wat day is today when she woke me up... haiz.... wat to do?? i chose to come back coz of the shifting... so have to accept it lor...

due to the stress and the anger and the tireness... i have no appitite!!! i cant finish my lunches and didnt have my dinners! (stop asking if i slimmed down... i didnt.. hahaha... 20 over yrs de hard work is nt fake one.. 不是说减掉就减掉的！！) hahaha..

yes, my boss went crazy... n anyhw shout at me, blaming me this blaming me tt... scolding me this, scolding me tt... it was a mental torture for the whole week!! no one will understand hw i REALLY feel till u REALLY in the situtation urself... and of coz... those who r working with him will understand too... n guess wat... i got 'nice' colleagues who LOVE to allow me to tok to my boss coz she is afraid of getting scolded.... damn it rite?! toopid lor... n her fault become my fault!!!!! i scolded her for a few times liao... but it is NOT enough to compensate the mental torture i got for the week!!!!

finally i cannot tahan on fri, esp when he shouted at me across the office! i shouted back... but as usual... tyl cannot get angry without crying... so i cried... n ran off to my office...

then i was quite glad coz i got REALLY lovely colleagues at the same time... yan yan came down n acc me... and tok to me... then my china guys actually tried to console me... esp mr xue.. he was juz like a big bro... then mr kelvis wasnt there when the incident happened... but when he heard.. he came down to my office to find me too... yan yan was telling me jokingly... wah... though no cp and ofm console u.... still have her... haha... actually... got kelvis and yan yan in the office is the only consolation... I LOVE THEM!! hehee...

then another china guy, mr min... he tok to me over the net.. coz he was at the old site.. didnt noe wat happen... juz heard frm others... but he too... like a big bro... coaxing me.. hahaha.. suddenly i got big bros wo!! hahaha

yes.. my boss after tt tried toking to me... (when he feels happy lah...) i juz answered him necessarily... other than tt.. i juz went off... i told darren... i think i've shield everyone frm all the scolding frm him for the week le lor...

SG is a small small place...

guess who i met juz nw when i went out for steamboat dinner at bugis with yan, jimmy, irene and kelvin?!
yes, it is tt DESMOND who had disappeared completely in my life...
i saw him when he was queuing up to go up the escalator. i saw him then, but decided nt to call him.
However, 人算不如天算, i was being pushed (bugis at tt time was very crowded)... end up i went up on the escalator at the same time...

i was still considering to call him anot... but then end up.. being polite.. i tapped him.. he turned n look at me.. he stunned...

Desmond: eh..
TYL: ....
Desmond: heheh.. how come u r here?
TYL: y cant i be here?
Desmond: (laugh... those very PS laugh... like when i caught him red handed tt kind of laugh)
TYL: (took out hp and call)
Desmond: laugh...
TYL: y r u laughing?
Desmond: nth (passing uneasy signals)
TYL: ... (tok on phone... asking where yan was)
Desmond: ....
TYL: i go le.. see ya.. bye
Desmond: bye...

2-3 mins the most..damn weird.. for those who were curious.. he was alone...
y do we have to become like tt?!?! i dunno.. i only noe... i dunno hw to treat it as nth happen anymore...
n i think.. i'm starting to hate him... (or nt?)... SIANZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!

00:00 31st Aug 2009, Msia National day..
at this pt of time, there were fireworks opp my blk.. yes... a whole stretch of fire works... but either due to the economic downturn or due to the fasting mth for Muslims... it wasnt as 'crowded' as past years... 'crowded' means the a lot of fireworks...

anyway, life have been quite bz with my daily routine... Work, then tuition then sleep then work again, then tuition then sleep then work again.... goes on and on and on till fri... the only difference is tt i have taking cabs home after tuition... hahaa.. sianz.. my $$ have gone to cabby's rental fees... anyway, y did i take cabs nw?

1. I'm damn tired... lazy a) to walk to interchange and b) to take bus to interchange then change to my bus again

2. last time, on my way back... i can chat on phone or gossip/bitch till i reached home... but nw... my phone kakis either sleep early, or too bz with sch work or out for fun... so dun wanna disturb them... the only phone kaki tt can chat with me till wee hrs, had disappear completely frm my life...

3. shorten the time of being alone, can shorten the time for my mind to run wild.. then i can throw myself at my lappy then play till i dozed off... meaning i can spare my mind frm thinking of those 有的没的...

on thurs and fri, i went to attend a ISO 22000 internal auditor course... n got noe to a few different ppl... i was being arranged to be sitted in between 2 BIG guys... i mean big hor.. like lcm like tt (minus tt big round tummy.. oops... sorry... i mean.. aiyah.. u all imagine lah... ) they are chefs.. but nw come out n open a factory on their own.. supplying fresh veges/salad to food chains like subway.. n when they told me tt.. i stared.. they dun look like vege guys.. they looked like buchter.. ahaha.. ok.. cannot be so bad.. they are nice friendly giants... hehe.. to my surprise.. they were actually looking at buying our this sold factory.. but they told me the price was too high.. so end up didnt buy... then their consultant is same as mine.. small world rite? hahahaa

then noe another guy, a young boy frm msia (i only noe tt he is younger than me after 2nd day), he is a manger in subway chain... he is someone full of ideas and ambition... guess wat.. he paid for himself to go for this course (his coy nt sponsoring him... the course fees cost over $700 even after rebate frm govt for coy who send employees for courses)... he told me.. he shld upgrade himself... learn more things... so even gotta pay for himself.. he oso dun mind... he oso cant find job after grad (yep, he juz grad frm local uni), then working temp as manager in one of the subway chain.. aiming to go into his field of study, or HQ of subway to become auditior... amazing sia.... he is 3 yrs younger than me lor..

then a girl frm Mymmar who is comfortable speaking in Mandarin and her own language.. but understands english... she studied law in Mymmar but work as admin and qc in SG SME... yet she dun mind.. she say lawyer is a very stressful job...

then an uncle, who is expert in almost all the certifications... he is my idol sia... he like soooo familiar with audits... can tackle auditors easliy and noe a lot of procedures at the back of his hand... (we have role play and workshops)..

Now i slowly like to go for courses alone le... coz i get to know sooo many different kinds of ppl... and different ways of thinking... interesting lor...

ok... upcoming week will be a SUPER DUPER BZ week for me.. coz y? XIN JIE's wedding and my coy 7th mth praying session is on the same day.. FRI!!! so need to help in preparations at office (for 7th mth) and at home (for xin jie wedding)... *excited* hehheheee oh ya.. n oso need to pack my stuff liao.. gonna shift!!!!

刚看完一本小说，小说的某一篇就这么说道：

"如果能说忘就能忘；能放就放，那么，你其实还没真正爱过。真爱过一个人，不是说放就放得了、说忘就忘得掉。
记忆只能逐渐淡忘，不能完全抹灭"

我在想我一直叫我周围的朋友不能 ‘刻意忘记’，因为这样会更难忘记。真的是，说得容易、做得难。我发现，我自己其实也陷入了那 ‘刻意忘记’ 的阶段。

因为当你经过你们曾走过的路、做着你们曾做过的事、听着你们曾拥有过的歌；都会让你不经意的回想起当时快乐的时光、 曾说过的话。然后眼泪就会不知觉的填满眼眶。纵使你身边有很多很多的人在帮你制造很多很多别的记忆，都无法替代那一段回忆。
就是因为如此，不想再让自己那么狼狈、不想再让自己看起来那么窝囊、更不想让自己这么痛苦，所以选择 ‘刻意忘记’。

三、四年前，曾经有过这段痛苦阶段； 如今又回到这里。可笑的是，竟然是为了同个人！明知道会有这样的结果，还是放纵自己。能怪谁？怪只能怪自己不够意志力。他变得更温柔、更体贴、更细心，那又怎样？！只要意志力强，这些都不会让我动摇的。不过，我没有，所以动摇了，然后再次掉入深渊，结果又到了现在这里。

我很想、很想只当他一辈子的好朋友。在他需要人的时候陪伴他、在他无助的时候支持他、听他诉苦、陪他笑、看他认真做着一件事还是听他说着那些无厘头的歪道理。不过我做不到；我根本就没有自己想象中的那么伟大。我们之间已没有‘纯友谊’了。

"所谓‘纯友谊’，是当男女双方都没有人在潜意识之下跃过名为‘友谊’的界线；若有人不小心越界，那‘纯友谊’ 就不可能存在了。"（这也是从我刚读的小说里的一句话）

上一次，是他选择逃避，所以消失。这一次，是我选择放弃还是他选择离开？我也不知道，但也是不重要了。因为事实就是：他再也不会回来了。我们再也回不到过去了。

也许，这一次我需要一段很长很长的时间。不过，不管是一个月、一年、十年还是一辈子，我相信这段记忆会慢慢被我淡忘掉的。我只想请周围的朋友不要一直逼我一定要马上忘记、也不要一直说他到底值不值得。因为这样不帮会帮我淡忘他，反而会让我更想他。

可能，我会突然间静静的望着前方，不发一声；这是因为我在哀悼我一段栽下种子却发不了芽的爱情和一段我亲手杀死的友情。。。。。。。。

Random stuff of my life....

Was too sianz to work... so took a photo of my desk....

My tortoise family, an elephant with shoes frm Holland, and a kangaroo frm DPex... of coz... nt to 4get my doraemon pencil holder and my new addition, doraemon's correction tape... with my comp desktop wallpaper - Saiyuki (anime)... hahahaha


Above the desk, where my deskjet is... stood a Dpex bear and a little bear in cage (Courtsey frm Kelvis, he say tt bear 浸猪笼

Went to see Cheryl @ TTSH, then had dinner @ Curry Flavor in Novena Sq. It was abt 2045, and the last order for the ala carte buffet was 2130.. guess wat, Yan Ting, Yan Ling and Shwu Yann actually ordered the ala carte buffet.. and we ordered like we 10days never eat... SY was soooo shocked tt we can eat so much.. she say she will have nightmare lor... Her shi liang is damn small lor.. hahaa.. so end up is me n yt.. hahhahaa...

A table full of food!!


A happy YT with all the food... in the end we didnt finish.. NOT tt we cant finish wo.. is tt they wanna close liao.. so we have to go..hahahahaa

As our yt is on her new proj.. she got a new pattern on her hand....

Can notice the different color tones?? this is the result of her new proj.. hahahaha

Then today, Ivan had craving for Mac, we meet up with Xinjie then go King Albert Park for Mac.. dun ask y we go so far.. CWP oso got... this is us lor... ahahhaa.. Upon hearing the gd news frm lyn.. we went down to her hse after dinner.... and of coz.. did not miss the chance of playing with little sherlina....

Upon seeing this, it just make ur day! hahahaa...


Personally, i like this... soooo like Baby of the Month, tt type of pic...


The star... hehe

Lyn, mommy say since this time round is so different frm your 1st(as in the vomitting part)... this might be a boy wo... hahahhaa... :p let us noe when the time come... see we guess correctly mah... :p

This is a nice song from Z-chan new album... He had rest for abt 3 yrs b4 coming up with this new album. I like this song 暗恋 which happen to be the same name as his new album... lyrics are meaningful... nice nice...

《暗恋》 张智成

四目交接的时候不要停留太久
适可而止的问候关心不能太过
好奇也别去探索妒嫉只能深锁
如果忍不住寂寞也不能对你说

啊好朋友啊我的好朋友
不小心的沉默不想让你太难过
我们就站在落地窗的两边
就算触碰也有了界限
如果跨越过彼此那道边界
是靠近还是更遥远

相信我们走到另一个境界
搭肩高唱友谊万万岁
要是我爱你变成了语言
甚麽会多一些甚麽会少一些

就让别人去猜测我们清白的很
就让自己去承受那种清白的闷
就算我只是朋友能不能有要求
如果会发生甚麽也是我想太多

啊好朋友就只是好朋友
不小心说出口微笑中藏著难过
我们就站在落地窗的两边
就算触碰也有了界限
如果跨越过彼此那道边界
是靠近还是更遥远
你会不会也曾闪过这感觉
一念之间就要差一点
要是我爱你变成了利剑
甚麽会被消灭甚麽才会复原

那是我的底线继续将你暗恋

Mystery solved! hahaha.. found out le....
it is daniel!! really is daniel....hahahahaa....
He bought this b4 he went Aust, then we had no time to meet up... so i guess he left it in SG and ask someone to send it to me when my bdae is nearing... hahahaa

hw did i find out? coz i saw his nick abt nearly lost his life on the road in Aust, i went to ask him wat happen... he saw my DP...then he said 'oh.. so u've recieved the bookmark'....hahaha... everything solved... he say it meant to be a bdae surprise for me.. but came abit late.. but still.. i was suprise.. wahahaha.. THANKS DANIEL!! u r SSOOOOO SWEET!! hehehe

Went with my 5g1u + yt - lyn to Keppel country club/ keppel club for DIM SUM!!! hehee... My grp noe me best!!! hehehe

yum yum... hehehee.. thanks guys! hehhee

Then after tt went cine watch The Haunting in Connecticut with Ivan... Finally, someone is willing to watch horror shows with me!!! 旧爱还是最美！！ I dunno y nobody wanna watch with me lor.. I SWEAR i didnt scream!! hahahaa...
ok.. like the story... got meaning de... apart frm the scary part.. hehe

After toking to my jiu ai.. made me realised... y shld i be sad?! i mean.. i can laugh n tok abt the memories we had.... haha.. jiu ai say, both of us dunno wat we want... so is dragging.. then he oso say.. since i cant see future with him... then let go... coz no pt holding on.. (ok..i think ppl tell me this for more than a thousand times... ok.. it is me.. hahahaa)
jiu ai didnt force, didnt comment, didnt reprimand me.. juz listen n advice... (ok... mayb coz he is oso somehow similar to him?? when come to handling these types of stuff?? )... well... he always has his own way in seeing things... hahaa.. no matter wat.. THANKS JIU AI!!! i love u the most lah.. hahahaa

ok.. nw it time for u ppl to help me solve the mystery...
i recieved a present from the mailbox... n this person did not write down his/her name (dunnO is blur or purposely de)... my mom threw away the envelope liao.. so cant show u all the handwritting.. left only the present...


I've tried to narrow down the search... who noe i love tortoise and is being called TYL

Those who noe my full address
Yan Ting (but i dun think she will be tt 'free' to do this type of things)
Cheryl (handwritting looks like hers.. but she say she didnt send)
Yipei (she is damn bz with sch work.. so i dun think she got the time.. plus handwritting nt hers)
Wenying (she is tooo stress with her sch too... no time to even chat on phone.. moreover, she is nt clever enough to get ppl to write the address de...nt possible)
Simin (erm.. she doesnt look like someone who will send mysterious gift.. haha)
(still got who.. i dunno le leh)

Those who i think will do this type of surpries..
Ivan (but he swear tt it is nt him this time)
i really cant think of anyone else...

aiyo.. this mail is SG de... so cant be xiaohua.. or daniel... (wait.. daniel told me he wanna gimme sth.. but got no time to meet me... but then he left for Aust on the 4th liao leh... )
i dun think is any of the guys.. so ppl... help me think1?!? hehee

My bdae is over, but celebration cont'd!!

Meeting my 5G1U plus YT on the 19th Jul
then China guys (only left 2. haiz) on the 18th...
then the poly frens (nw they are slogging.. hahaa.. studying for exams) + little boys gang on the 25th...

Oh well, so it wasnt tt bad after all... i mean.. i noe all my frens love me... though they always 'act' heck care me.. wat more can i ask for, rite? so wat if there r some idiot dun even put me in the any part in their heart? i'm still well loved!! hahahaa.. (ok... 我在自我安慰, but still...THANKS TO ALL MY DARLINGS!!! :P)

Went to the zoo with Aeddan and Darren and Cheryl on wed... hehee.. Thanks ivan for his help to get the card for us.. if nt, the entrance fee is damn ex lor... whahaha... *muackz*... look out on FB for the pics.. darren will put it up (soon, i hope?) wahahaa...

sianz... tt day got a fren asked me 'so hw long u gonna celebrate this yr?' i stunned... n think n tell him 'seems dun have leh'...

Till nw, i'm booked by my coy+frens on the 10th (cheryl's farewell), and my jiu ai is trying his very best to organise one meeting for the 5g1u+yt grp... (thanks jiu ai... coz i think u r bz with ur classes still wanna think of this... )
i dun even need to cancel my tuitions... i juz continue... seems so bz yet it is not bz with my bdae... my poly gangz all bz with sch... so no time, then others are bz with work... i'm oso bz with hhx wedding...
even wanna have a meal with my family oso need to postpone...
y m i complaining?! it is not as if everyone is bz purposely... but juz.. i oso dunnO... wanna whine...

with tt old woman gimme tt face!!! i'm juz wondering.... i didnt go pray a long time liao izzit?! offend ppl till i dunno... btw, i'm easily agitated recently.. *pms*?? i oso dunnO... but if u happen to hear one of my irritated voice... and wat... please dun take it at heart...

it is the 1st of jul!!!! had my experience in shanghai, hangzhou. things are ex, ppl nt very friendly, air is polluted, fashion - erm... nt very nice (i wonder y, they shld have nice nice clothes). n most imptly, it is sooooo warm!!! wat the diff with SG??? haiz...

then stayed in 5 stars hotel in Hangzhou, DAMN COOL LAH!!! nice nice, so comfy.. i can really stay in hotel whole day lor... then in back to Shanghai, stayed in a 5 star service apartment, heard tt it is opened by a s'porean. it is highly sercure lor... u need to have a key card to go onto the lift. n it only allows u to go to the level u living in. there are a lot of foreginers who r working in Shanghai living in this place... this serivce apartment got a mini kitchen too...

i'm soooo sick n tired of chinese food lor... the KFC (chicken is NICE!! but other than tt.. all CMI), n i craving for all my western and jap and thai food... but then again.. go china eat jap??? go china eat thai!?? hahaha...

too lazy to post photos up.. wait till i free k?? i dunno wat m i bz with.. but i seems to be very bz lor... wahahhaa...

PPL, i'm almost fully booked le leh... book me in advance hor if u all wanna meet me... wahahhaa.. i shall list out the schedule for ur ref. ahhahaha (follow my jiu ai style)

1/7 - tuition till 2200
2/7 - tuition till 2200
3/7 - tuition till 2100
4/7 - BBQ with expo promoters
5/7 - preparing for Huixian's wedding (Evening is free)
6 to 9/7 - tuition till 2200/2100
(if wanna book me muz tell me in advance, so i can make arrangements with my students)
10/7 - booked by my cheryl darling
11/7 - booked by my family
12/7 - HHX Wedding

:)

b4 i flew, we agreed to meet.
he was late as usual. This time round, he was late with a reason - he was looking for tt Me-to-you bear for me! (he told me he had a hard time choosing... nw i oso wonder.. if he wrapped it up himself oso mah.. coz it was sealed with carton tape instead of normal scotchtape)

when he gave it to me, i was stunned. though it was written on the bear 'special fren', i'm still touched... he told me those 'speical love', 'love 4eva' sounded so mushy and so unlike him... so he dun want. n he say i got enough of pink stuff... so he got me a green sweater de... he say, 见熊如见人... hahaa.. coz i'm not coming back frm Shanghai...

he is irritating, annoying, toopid, idioticm and act as if he dun care at times... but i really think he is cute in his own ways.. and silly... sometimes... i really dunno wat to do with him...

I'm leaving on the 21st 0830 flight. Dun miss me wo... hahaa..

We seems to be very bz recently... i have been not meeting some of my rotters recently. izzzit coz we had been meeting almost everyday, so when nw when we didnt get to see each other for a few days, i felt tt it is ages since we last met? hahaa.. ok.. to all my rotters... I noe tt we r all bz with a lot of stuff... but... TYL is leaving on the 21st leh.. n i'm afraid tt i gonna miss u all until wanna die ar.. wahahaa...

so dinners? rotting time this week? hehe...

It is confirmed! i'm leaving for Shanghai on 21st June!

Life have been crazy.... expo juz finished.. n we were so crazy... i love expo.. though it was tiring.... saw an email.... talking abt the difference between like n love.... like n love is juz a thin line difference... so alot of ppl will think tt it love... but it is like... think it is like... but actually tt is love.... after reading it... i wonder....

你能分清楚爱和喜欢吗？

喜歡和愛咫尺千里。
當你喜歡一個人時，你想和他在一起，因為他會帶給你快樂；
離開後，你會想念，想著想著就會笑，然後繼續你平靜的生活，並期待著與他再一次重逢。
當你愛一個人時，你想和他在一起，那是一種牽腸掛肚的捨不得，怕他受委屈，怕他不能好好照顧自己；
離開後，你也會想念，想著想著歎一口氣，'不知他現在過的怎樣？'
然後你繼續你平靜的生活，希望他早日回到你身邊。

你喜歡的人在你眼中是天使，無所不能，他總會滿足你的任性的要求。

你愛的人在你眼中是孩子，傻傻的，你不期望他做出什麼'好事'來，只一味縱容他那些讓人哭笑不得的舉動。

你會希望你喜歡的人陪著你，然而你心中想的可能是你愛的人；

你會希望陪在你愛的人身邊，看他在你面前睡得如此安逸甜美毫不設防的樣子，你會微笑，會覺得好幸福。

你喜歡的人傷害了你，你會生氣，並且一定要讓他哄著騙著逗你笑你才原諒他；

你愛的人傷害了你，你只會獨自傷心，因為你怕對他大吼大叫會嚇著他，你憂傷地微笑著，看著他的眼睛，一旦發現他的眼裡流露出歉意和悔恨，你會立即心疼地摟他在懷裡，那一刻，你也是幸福的。

你可以同時喜歡很多人，你會希望和很多人在一起，
但也許很多年後你才發現，原來你愛的就只有那麼一個，
就那麼一個，怎麼都不會變，你以為把他忘記了，其實只是忙的沒空想起而已，

對於你喜歡的人，你關注的是他的優點；
對於你愛的人，你關注的是他的缺點，並且，那些缺點如果無關原則的話，它們在你眼裡是可愛的，獨一無二的。

喜歡和愛其實只有一紙之隔，任何愛都從喜歡開始，當有天你突然發現，你喜歡的那個人在你眼中不再完美，而他的瑕疵正如月中的桂影一般讓你更加依依不捨，你會覺得與他光彩照人的一面相比，你更願意看他在你面前無助的表情，不知道是不是應該祝賀你，總之，你的感情昇華了

仰慕不是愛，甚至不是喜歡，當你對一個人只有仰慕之情時，你們在一起便失去了和諧。

有人說愛一個人很累，的確是，因為你想為他承擔，可是愛與喜歡相比最大的魅力就在於,
當你和愛的人在一起時，你的感覺就像回家了！

Does this send u to think back?? do u like/love tt person in ur mind? the r/s u r in... izzit a love or like? this email made me think.... so wat is he to me? then i realised...
如果这是我爱你最好的距离，我可以欺骗我自己离开你.............

WY, need ur help....tell u more when i see u online...

It is early in the morning.. n i'm already in office liao... tired... my dad drove me here today... so i'm damn early today...
well, today is the starting of food fair.. will be damn bz over the weekend... it is from 29th May 2009 - 2nd Jun 2009, @ food expo hall 5! those who r my double shot fans... go there n get it!! hahaha.. it is @ $5 per box with free mug leh!!! support my double shot ba.. hehee...

last night was the last straw! i cant take it anymore! i'm juz so disappointed! haiz... dun come n ask me y n wat is it abt... i'm too sick and tired of it liao... this time roound i chose to give it up... haiz... sianz... sianz...

Well... i guess alot of ppl are waiting for my entry on my Penang trip.. actually i was in Sugei Petani (SP)... the factory is in there....

It was a long time since i took SQ... it is COOL lah... it served food tt i like...bread stick (like foccasia) with melted cheese... and shrimp... yum... hahaa.. and the plane wasnt full... so i got 3 seats for myself! hahaa. nw i noe the diff between $300+ air tix and $50+ air tix.. hahaha

i reached Penang Airport, the boss's sister fetched me.. she then send me over to my hotel for check in 1st, after tt to the factory... as u noe..thru out the trip frm Penang to SP... was those biz type of conversation lor... u noe... tok abt weather and stuff.. nth personal...

then when i reach factory, the boss and lady boss greeted me and showed me ard the factory... then after tt it was lunch time.. me, the boss, the lady boss, the sister and the son... we went to a newly open rest called Bali Bali... it is more like indonesian food... but ok lah... accetable.. at least all stuff i eat lor... juz tt abit spicy.. i still can take it... hahaha.. of coz i no need pay...

the son.. dun ask me shuai anot.. he is not my cup of tea.. too honest looking.. n he is only 22 yr old!!! hahhaa.. so... well.. erm...

i stayed till 4plus.. i was damn bored le.. nth to do... so they asked if i wanna go back hotel 1st.. then will fetch me for dinner at 7 plus... i was like.. WAH! got dinner somemore... so i went back hotel rot.. wanna go for a swim.. but 1. swimming pool was soooo isolated.. no one there.. 2. it was tooo damn hot.. tt it will scald ur skin... so i decided to rot in my room, then bring my lappy down to the lobby to surf net...

7, the boss and family came n fetch me... this time with another addition.. their youngest son... minus the boss's sister... we went to a chinese rest for dinner... i was praying hard tt they didnt order sth i dun eat (i dun dare to tell them wat i dun eat.. so i dun eat A LOT of things)....

boss ordered a fish (i eat.. phew), prawn (i eat.. phew), pork leg (my fave!), claypot seafood (i starting to stress), brocoli with abalone slices (i almost fainted!)...
the boss keep putting food into my plate... he gave me sotong!! i was like... erm... but end up i buried it under my prawn shells... hahaa.. then i dun wanna abalone slices (i dunno is real de anot)... so when the dish was served.. i quickly took the brocoli and eat... hopefully tt they saw me taking.. so no need help me take.. end up.. the ladyboss took one of the slices for me!!! coz it is ex.. so i dun dare to throw away like the sotong.. so bo bian... i ate it with a BIG mouth of rice.. i nearly vomitted lor...wy say i 生在福中不知福... she wana eat oso dun have.. hahah.. but iwas the most stress dinner lah....

After tt i went back hotel... nth to do.. so took a loooong bubble bath (heavenly!!!) then after tt zi lian awhile... then play mahjong all the way lor.. till i slept

next day the boss fetched me, n we went yum cha.. NICE!!! n CHEAP!!! but i didnt pay lah... but i long time never eat such nice dim sum lor... hahaha.. then went facotry.. did the necessary stuff.. the lady boss drove me over to penang.. then we started the buy and eat...

1st to durian road side store.. yum yum.. then to shopping.. (i didnt buy much.. coz nth interesting.. plus they follow me ard..i stress... hahahaa..).. then to eat char kway tiao... laksa, pohpiah, ice kachang, blah blah blah.. so damn full lor... tt was when i saw the sign 'changed for not ordering drink is RM 0.50 ONLY'... damn funny...

then after tt lady boss n her daughter went back to SP.. i was with the sister... she brought me to her hse.. her elder son.. (think quite young, didnt ask for age), is somewhere near my cup of tea.. hahahaha... but still.. i think too young... hahahaa...

then after tt she brought me to another shopping center... then oso nth much to see... juz bought some funny coffee samples.. anyway, they bought me 8 boxes of dao sha piah!!! OMG!! i dunno hw to carry lor... then my bag was full of coffee samples and puddings lor... sooo heavy.... i have to hand carry the dao sha piah... hahhaa...

n i wanna put it up on the overhead compartment.. but... haiz... i was tooo short..cant close it.. so an air stewdardess helped me lor... eeeek... des was asking me.. did i particularly misss him at tt pt of time... i gave him a punch.. anyway, tt was my trip... boring to a certain extend... but fun and exciting.. hahaha

I got myself a new HP!!! Sony Ericsson C905! hehee... it is pink in color... so i got a pink lappy and a pink hp... cool rite??? wat's next??



There r suggestions of pink doraemon (erm... looks weird lor... in action city got), a pink house (my hse already has pink walls), a pink room (my sis will kill me for tt.. she is allergic to pink), a pink BUTT (this is my fav darling say de.. wahahhaa)...



Ok.. decided... i'm going Penang ALONE! so end up i stay one night nia... hehe...

I had a tok with him... he told me sometimes he felt guilty towards me (sometimes he is juz bullshitting)... sometimes when he called to ask me to help him settle some prob is actually purposely de.. he can solve it himself.. he juz wanna call n ask hw m i... using the prob as an excuse (i dunno hw many percent truth)... he said a lot of things which made me to wonder hw much can i believe his words... haiz...

I told him... frm nw on... i gonna let him suffer.. the more he dun like me to 烦 him, the more i will do tt... then he replied, '那，我一辈子都会说我讨厌你来烦我，这样你就会烦我一辈子.'

i stunned... TOOPID!!!

oh ya... I had a fren telling me today '宁愿相信世上有鬼，都不会相信男人那张嘴'... hahaha... cool rite?? hehee

Wooo.... i'm going on a biz trip to penang... 15 may - 18 may... anyone wanna join me over the weekend?? or else i'm alone wo.... alone!! scary.. hahahaa

Ivan wanna come spend the weekend with me?? wahahahaa..

sianz... i'm dozing off....

WAH! Nw then i realised this mth... my entry is on every tues leh... so i was still wondering shld i post an entry today anot... but then i damn buay tahan lah.. so still decided to post it lor....

This morning i was supposed to call a govt body (i shall nt state which GOVT body, i think all pattern same same de) to clarify something.

1st i called the general customer service number,

the person sounded quite friendly and helpful - he said i shld call to the specific department, and gave me 2 numbers.

i called the 1st number - NO one pick up (it is 1000, gov body starts work after 10?)

i called the 2nd number - i told the person my problem,

her reply, "what are you talking about? this is not my department? u call the wrong number"

she sounded damn irritated and fustrated!

i was still toking to her in a nice n polite way, "but this number was given to me by the customer service officer."

"It is not our department try calling XX or XY." 'click' she hang up on me!

hw the hell i noe wat is XX or XY?!?!

NVM... i called back the 1st number, she picked up... she already sounded irritated (i was wondering izzit tt they have a tiff with bfs or husbands b4 going to work), i told her my prob and asked if i called the right department.

She say yes and ask me wat was the prob, i told her the prob, she say, 'pls call ABC department 1st to verify if it is right or wrong. call 61234567" then she hanged up!!! (2 person hanged up on me in one morning!.... more to come!)

i called the number she gave, and he answered my qns and verified... and i started to ask another qns... he replied, "this is not my department, pls call (the previous department)."

I'm too speechless.... wat is this?! to save their own asses!??! till this extend!? my qns is not those need in depth explaination... i only need a clarification!!!!

I was so fustrated till i went online and search for ans... though i cant get the OFFICIAL ans frm the GOVT body, but still i figure a logical explaination by MYSELF!

Our Govt have beeen promoting good customer service, kindness and polite acts... PLS, go and educate ur govt ppl 1st b4 spreading the campaign to the public. 所谓上梁不正下梁歪. Our own ppl in the govt bodies dun even follow it.. hw r u all gonna convince the public to follow!?

HAIZ!!!! to think tt our govt always say tt we are going to move up to a graceful country! yes... they treat ang mos in a damn polite way lor... then treat us SG fellow ppl like ..... haiz... as if we SG ppl (their fellow ppl) r nt human.. so dun desreve gd service... sianz rite?

This morning is nt a good start for me!!! I went out wearing my sandals... then half way, it snap! i cant walked back... so i called my dad to bring down a pair, who noes he brought down the wrong one.. he brought down my mom's.. so i slipped on my mom's n went back home to change... on the way back home.. my mom's shoes oso spoil.. the whole sole came off..

i woke my bro up to drive me to work.. when he noe the reason, he told me... 'tell u to WEAR shoes... NOT eat shoes... next time put 2 extra shoes in ur bag!'... hahaaha

Ok.. life back here.. not much change ba... still as havco and crazy... the only thing tt is different is maybe OFM n CP not here ba... actually, quite miss OFM, BUT.... miss only coz he can help me settle stuff in work... wahahaa...

Well.... go off nw... have to work liao... hehe

Ok.. as most of u noe by nw... today is my 1st day of work... and yes, i'm back to Gold Kili.. my ex coy...

i spent the whole day to do spring cleaning and housekeeping... haiz... well.. actually nw then i realised... i really miss this job... i mean.. yes.. it is tiring and very demanding.. n sometimes nt being appreciated... but then i love the feeling tt i can control things... as in... i can make certain decisions as long as i got logical explaination.. anyway, as yt say... i'm bossy in naturee??

it is late.. n i'm too bz to take the photos of the pressies my darlings bought for me in taiwan... hopefully i got time this weekend...

it is late... time to sleep.. or else tml no need wake up le.. hehe...

and i got this frm WY's blog... a personality test... heeee

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Hw true????

Wooo.. have been bz watching anime (Sayuki) - THEY ARE JUZ SOOOOOO COOL AND HANDSOME... and oso bz play Facebook game - Restaurant City (those in facebook, please join me!!! i need more frens to lvl up!!)

I miss my darlings!! my rotting kakis!!! they r coming back tml liao!!! hehehee!!! cant wait to see if they got bring back Jiro Wang for me mah.. wahahaha..

anyway, i'm starting work soon... but will not disclose where and do wat 1st... let it be a surprise!?! hehee.. okok.. n those who noe le... pls... shhhhhhh... dun say 1st... and mayb when some of u noe le... u all will disagree.. or mayb jump up n down scolding me... but... this is my choice.. let me face all the consequences myself... i'm aware of the consequences and am willing to take up the challenge. i really hope to build up my career frm here. if still dun agree, juz dun gimme wet blanket... :)

Ok.. as promised.. once i got my own lappy, i will upload the song by Liang Wen Yin - 可以不爱了, it is in the playlist! hahaa.. yep... it is a pink lappy!!!! wahahahaha

New playlist has all the 'new' songs recommendations.. wahaha.. actually some songs are not tt new lor.... like 飞轮海 and 梁文音 de... their albums were out for sometime le...

ok... i like to recommend this new person - 纪佳松. I was trying to find his photos online.. but either is very little or i got his name wrongly... anyway, he was actually a producer, a song writer... (at the backstage de).. but wilber pan (his gd fren) encourage him to cut his own album coz 1. he can sing, 2. he is handsome, 3. he is talented!!! hahahaa.. so BLUE J is his new album... the songs in my playlist are some of his..

one of the song 同一个遗憾 is a duet sing with his gd fren.... WILBER!!! juz in case u all wondering who is wilber... he is our beloved 潘伟伯!!! hahaa..

Next, there are 2 song frm the latest show 爱就宅一起 OST... nice nice.. the show is oso nice... OK.. those who DUN LIKE idol drama, PLEASE dun watch it... coz it is 夸张，and typically 'DREAMY'!! hhahahaa... I LOVE IT!!! coz got JIRO WANG (juz in case, he is 汪东城 aka 大东)... HE IS JUZ TOO DAMN CUTE! hahaa...

and of coz, Jolin's new album is out!!! and here are some of the new songs.. heheheeee...

i dunno y it didnt auto play.... u all juz click play urself lor... wahahaa

hmmm... it was quite sometime since i last updated... counting down to the trip for my rotting kakis.... 2 WHOLE WEEKS they will not be in SG.. will be in Taiwan... mayb they will see Jiro? mayb Show?!? haiz... my cute yt told me tt if she really see jiro, she will take a photo of him and get his autograph for me (so nice and sweet rite? pls read on), n she will ask him to write, DEAR TYL, TOO BAD U R NT HERE... WE R HAVING FUN!!!!
so nice of my dear.. wahaha

Jiu Ai, pls take good care of the girls... and esp my dear and lao da jie... i scare lao da jie too happy with her BIG DAY... she become blur blur.. then as for my dear.. u shld noe she is ALWAYS blur... make sure she wear specs!!! no more mixed up with Shell logo and moon liao.. and oso.. DUN ALLOW her to play mahjong... though she can play TAIWAN mahjong.. but who noes.. when she REALLY get a chance to play TAIWAN mahjong, she go back to HK mahjong... then... her chinese is pte ltd de leh.. jolt down all the funny things she say? hahahaa... okok.. i shall nt say anymore.. if nt my dear will use her dog to threaten me!! wahahaa

Ivan, YT, XY, Xing jie, HZ ENJOY URSELVES!!!

recently, have been listening to 933 and get to noe tt Liang Wen Yin (Xing Guang 3 Ban, 2nd place) had a song (which is nt zhu da), is VERY NICE!! ok.. i shld say all her songs in the album are nice... but i like to intro this so...
KE YI BU AI LE... i cant get the song coz i cant d/l... this is nt my comp... once i get my lappy.. i will upload... juz enjoy the lyrics... coz it is the lyrics tt i like.. very meaningful... lyrics and music by PENNY DAI...

可以不爱了
词曲/戴佩妮
演唱/梁文音

把窗户偷偷都打开 让阳光统统照进来
让风放肆地吹散 我身上的尘埃
把你的过去变腐坏 把你的溺爱藏起来
把你的所有 都搬到我房间里来
现在是三点钟 你应该还没醒呢
这有点刺眼的光线 会不会打扰你呢
梦不会实现了 我应该要醒了
我不该只懂得配合 你习惯短暂的温热
我努力要自己避开 和你曾走过的地带
但是又和不舍拉扯 住在我快乐的界外
我何尝不是一个人 来决定爱的延长赛
奈何总是勉强对自己 有一个善良的交代
我努力要自己不看 你给我的伤心地带
但是又和失去拉扯 得到的全都是意外
到现在还是一个人 吞噬着自己的能耐
到最后我可以不爱了 你却说 舍不得
你可以不爱了 别说舍不得
避开你 欲走还留的眼睛
我要我忍住再一次抱你
躲开你 转身以后的消息
这一次我可以

Woo... 1st week of my work has ended... i worked for 4 days this week, next week i will be working for 3 days!

Wat m i working as?? it is a data entry job, BUT, this is the MOST brain-draining data entry job lor... everyday i went back feeling damn shag... then go str to tuition... energy level is damn low lor... cant even scold my students.. wahahahaa... my mommy say coz i too long never use brain liao.. so use a bit a brain of coz no strenght lor.. wahahahaa...

I am cosolidating data nurses get from 120 indian and 120 chinese elderly males of wat they have eaten for the past 24hrs for 2 days. so making 480 surveys to be key in. this is a study on male elderys' diet... hw it affect their calories and their calcium intake...

one of the other part time worker had already started on the chinese males le, so i have to work on the indian males. and i really had a hard time doing this. Y? coz i need to key in each and every food they eat into the database. the food have to be found in THEIR own data base... but indians have their own special cuisine, everyday they will eat sth so special tt i have no idea wat it is.... so everyday i will go google on the food they eat to noe wat they r exactly eating so i can break down the ingredients to be key in.. as it will affect the nutritional values...

then better still, their database had some error... so the nutritional values tt was returned after keying in was all wrong... wrong conversion... end up speed was slowed down... plus the connection and the webby is damn slow lor.... sianz... heheee... then my supervisor told me normally one can finish keying in 10 surveys ie 5 pax a day. i didnt go lunch still cannot do it lor.. 1st day i did 8, 2nd day only 8, third day 6 ba... then finally... today 10!!! wahahahaa... coz today all prob already solved.. i only need to search on the food nia... hahaa...

ok... i'm tired liao... headache...

Ok... i'm starting work next mon (16/03)

Temp Data Entry Job @ HPB. It is at SGH there...
$8 per hr, work from Mon - Wed
Normal Working Hrs...

hehee... so i will go work liao then go tuition wo.. hahahaa.. :p

OK.. i noe the webby i previous intro de was down... hehee...

nw let me re intro a new shopping webby.. cool accessories and bags, nice tops and bottoms... and they even have men apparels (coming soon)...

it is call... theBuyology.com

juz go in and take a look ba... :)

This is Fish Leong's new song, a very meaningful song... specially for those who r mending a broken heart. and of coz, wy says this song reminded her of me,,, so this song for me too.. hehee

歌曲：别再为他流泪
歌手：梁静茹
专辑：静茹&情歌-别再为他流泪

你走了太久一定很累
他错了不该你来面对
离开他就好 就算了
心情很干脆

他其实没有那么绝对
远一点你就看出真伪
离开他不等于你的世界会崩溃
转个弯你还能飞

就别再为他流泪
别再让他操控你的伤悲
就算有一点愚昧一点点后悔
也不要太狼狈

他不值得你的泪
把那遗憾留在大雨的街
你曾在迷失的旅途中盲目追
以后为自己醉

每段感情都非常珍贵
他的好你就放在心扉
记得有个人曾让你那样的心醉
你笑了照亮夜幕的黑
什么梦都不比你的美
多少年以后想起他还有些体会
那些你已无所谓

就别再为他流泪
别再让他操控你的伤悲
就算有一点愚昧一点点后悔
也不要太狼狈

他不值得你的泪
把那遗憾留在大雨的街
你曾在迷失的旅途中盲目追
以后为自己醉

就别再为他流泪
别再让他操控你的伤悲
就算有一点愚昧一点点后悔
也不要太狼狈

他不值得你的泪
把那遗憾留在大雨的街
你曾在迷失的旅途中盲目追
以后管他是谁

AVA got opportunity! hehee... try my luck.. coz at least got 2-3 positions tt i'm interested in!! n it is a govt job... hehe

ok.. enough of my work thing le... my darlings.. if wanna discuss, we meet to discuss k?? hehee... sth cant discuss here, juz in case...

anyway, last night after my tuition, i went to meet a fren in cwp. then suddenly someone called me... n it was my bro! guess wat i saw?! there is a girl behind him, the one who went out with him on valentine's day and blah blah blah.. the mysterious girl.. finally appear!! the whole scenerio was quite funny... coz when i was facing my bro, behind him was the girl, behind me was a guy... then both of us got the 'aiyah, kana caught' de look. it was damn funny....

Anyway, we'll wait n see hw my bro n tt girl ba... hehehee

Have i grown up? i'm wondering.... wat do i exactly want in life? wat m i doing here? i hate growing up.. i hate all the problems i'm facing nw.. i hate everything!!



i'm 26 this yr (the whole world is reminding me) and i have no goal in life? wat do i wanna do? wat is my goal? WAT I EXACTLY WANT? y m i hovering here n there? m i leading an aimless life? do i even noe wat am i doing? do i didnt put in enough effort to look for a job? do i have to send resume to no interest, no link jobs then consider put in effort? m i staying in my comfort zone?

ppl dun wanna reply my application, ppl rej my application, ppl dun even gimme a chance to go interview... is it due to me nt trying hard enough? hw then we consider try hard enough?

y? y do we have so many things to think? as we grow older,.. there are more things for us to think ver it.. more problems for u to solve... n i hate it!!! y cant i juz lead the life i want? but then again.... wat kind of life do i want?? WAT DO I WANT!!!!?????????

argghhhhhhh.. I HATE MAKING DeCiSIONS!! esp big ones that will affect ur future!! haiz... sianz!!!!!

“有的人说不清哪里好，就是谁也替代不了”
很熟悉吧，这就是张绍涵的《遗失的美好》的最后一句歌词。

这句话写得好贴切。不管是谁，只要是人，心里都会有一位什么人都无法替代的人。不管怎样就是忘不了那人。身边就有人遇到这难题 - 他们心里都有一位忘不了的人，可是他们认为走不出来是自找的，是一种自甘堕落的行为，所以就拼命地和别人出去、尝试去接受别人。但最后才发现忘不了那个人，也没办法接受别人，结果就活在痛苦之中。

其实，有没有想过∶越是想忘记；就越忘不掉。为什么呢？试想想，当你想忘记，就无时无刻地提醒自己去忘记，但你其实是在无时无刻地提醒自己记得要忘记。每一次的提醒，回忆就会在脑海里重现，这样要怎样忘记？删掉存有回忆的信息、删掉与他甜蜜、快乐的合照、丢掉一切和他有关的东西、拒绝听到和他有关的消息、不去曾经与他去过的地方，就能忘得掉吗？

这时，你就会开始恨那个给你回忆的人。为什么？为什么他要给你很美好又难忘的回忆后离开？我曾经每时每刻都在问这个问题，那时候的我希望我是一台电脑，可以按'DELETE'，什么都能被删掉了。那不是很好？还是我们的脑可以象电脑一样reformat，回到原点不是很很好吗？

可是就有人跟我说过∶人脑之所以特别，就在于它有独家记忆；人生之所以精彩，就在于它有独有的回忆。不管回忆是开心的、伤心的、愤怒的、痛苦的、甜蜜的、辛酸的都会给人生一点色彩。这样你才算是活得多姿多彩。

当时，活在痛苦之中的我，只想忘记，什么都听不进去。不过，后来想想，朋友说地不是没有道理，至少，我没活得苦闷乏味。我的人生不是毫无色彩的。这样的想法给在痛苦的人看，一定会不以为然， 就象以前的我。因为叫你想，你会很痛苦；叫你别想，你做不到。这种矛盾价值就是很讨人厌。所以就顺其自然吧。

我很庆幸我在伤心、难过时能大哭一场，也能把我不开心的事一切说出来。因为，这样我才不至于那么痛苦，哭是一种发泄。真正痛苦的人是伤心难过却哭不出来，也不懂得如何把心事说出来。周围就有好几个这样的朋友，哭不出来也说不出来。朋友们，去找出能让你发泄的方法，不要让自己活在痛苦深渊。

朋友们，不要刻意去逼自己忘记。人都是一样的，不想记得，却又舍不得忘记 （我自己出的名言=)）。顺其自然吧，虽然过程很会很痛、也会很伤心，但当你不要刻意去忘记时，你很快就会发现，想起那些回忆时，你会慧心一笑。那给你回忆的人的脸孔也会变得模糊不清了，那时候也许你会花时间去想那人长得什么样也说不定。

那些想忘却忘不了的人们！加油！！我们要一起勇敢的把我们的生命注入更多色彩！

Ok.. i'm updating regularly... hahaa...

today then i realised tt Sherlina has 2 teeth on top and 2 teeth below... SOOOO CUTE LAH!!! and guess wat... in her eyes i dun look like aunty lor... coz she call me "jie jie"... wahahaha...
see.. i looked tooo young to be called aunty lah...hahaa... kids dun lie... wahaha...

then hor... i say 'bao bao', she gave me her pillows... i nearly fainted.. wahaha.. then i gave her the wanna carry her de gesture... guess wat... SHE ALLOWS ME TO CARRY HER LOR!!!!
Ivan, read carefully.. this time round, she wasnt on the sofa wanting to get out.. she was in her mommy's arm lor... wahahahaa

Ivan muz be jumping up n down lor... heheee I LOVE SHERLINA!! hahaaa

Haha... okok... i noe i didnt update.... coz i too lazy... these 2 days are tooo FULL of events... was exciting yet tiring.. cool lor...



13th Feb 2009

I went over to Irene's place... coz irene is getting married on the 14th!!! hahaa... we stayed over. helped out with things for the BIG day... and oso to prepare 'stuff' to 'torture' Jimmy on the next day... slept at 2plus... but was chatting with yan till 3plus... after yan slept.. i cant sleep (dunnO y oso)... until 4am then sleep.... but 4.40am irene's alarm sounded... TIME TO GET UP!!! hahaa...

make up artist coming at 5.30am lor... we all woke up feeling blur blur... hahaa

14th Feb 2009

we were slacking till 6 while irene was doing her make up... then till 7 am then we realised tt JIMMY had went out! hahaha.. we helped irene changed to her gown (cheryl did lah.... hahhaa, we juz see see look look), we changed... n prepare to 'Welcome' Jimmy... hahaaa...


then when he reached.. n COMMENDED to open the door for him... i smiled and made him write down 10 promises to Irene.. tt idiot... wrote it with so many mistakes... and even alot of crap lah....

then we made him tie a handmade cute bow tie, take a photo, then after he gonna search for the keys to the door... coz....we froze the keys in blocks of ice... with 2 wrong keys and 1 right key... and the correct key is hidden in between the 12th and 13th storey.. hahaa and tt toopid jimmy cant find it...

when he came in... after giving us ang bao.. he was being forced to stayed outside the room and sing song for irene b4 he can go in and get his wife... hehee

We went to ard... taking pics and oso to jimmy hse then back to irene hse... helping irene to change then oso bring alot of things to and fro,,,, after tt had buffet lunch at irene place.. rot awhile...

Went back home at ard 6... rot and bathe till abt 8 sth went over to WY de hse... xh and wy and i stayed over at wy hse... (and relax.. this time round was girl's event... so relax everyone haha) we have been rotting tgt lor.... mayb coz i no work, wy no sch... xh is free... i think most of the time the 3 of us are out tgt de lor... xh's going back soon le.... gonna miss her.... coz she will only be back in more than 1 yr's time...

i concussed at wy hse at 2am lor... coz didnt sleep the previous night, somemore whole day bz... too tired to gossip anymore.. i slept... till 9plus the next morning

15th Feb 2009

woke up le.... xh say she going for her appt... then we sent her down to the bus stop to take bus and went for bfast with yp @ mac... we chat and gossip and bitch ard till 2 lor... amazing rite? hw girls can tok... hahaa... reached home... it was tooo warm to sleep... n due to nt enough sleep, i think i was tooo heaty... and i think i may come down with fever... so i swallow tons of water.. juz pray hard i wun get fever... hahahaa....

Feb is gonna be exciting mth... i think more events to come? hahahahaa...

DAMN! juz coz of someone.... i have to go internet check sth.. then i 4got to open a new tab... n BOOM! my previous entry tt i've typed for half hr is gone!!!! TOOPID LEH!! kaoz... eeeeeek...

Ok.. as i was saying... i shld update more often since i'm free nw.... but i'm juz too lazy to update... at hm sleep, rot, watch tv, play computer games... I'm only active at night.. coz all my tution at night mah.... mon-fri... everynight...

Mon, Wed and Thurs - 2000-2200
Tues and Fri - 1915-2045
Wed - 0900-1030

enough of my rotter's life.... This CNY... as usual... gamble wat lose wat... sianz rite? ppl say 情场失意，赌场得意。TYL is 情场失意，赌场失意，职场也失意! Ke lian rite? haiz... sianz sianz sianz...

This yr... everyone come remind me abt me being 26 liao... say when my mommy was my age... already have 2 kids le (me and my bro)... my ah ma oso tell me time to get married liao hor...

hw to marry?! see the guys ard me... where got eligible guy?? either i think they CMI or they think i CMI... hahaa... then the new guys i noe de..is mostly thru drinking or singing or gambling events.... then they are all (haiz... no comments)... so NO HOPE...

So i'm sticking with YT... wahahaa (can u hear her scream and shout and cry.. WE R DIVORCED!)... hahahaaa

Ok.. i shall post it b4 i go pressed wrongly again...

Wooo.... ATTENTION! THERE IS A NEW SHOP UP!!!

SIN (Shopping Is Not a SIN) is the shop name....

It has interesting things from tops to bottoms, jackets and pullovers, bags and accessories and of coz leggings...

There is more... CALLING FOR ALL MOMMIES TO BE/Frens of Mommies to be... there is a special SINmummies.... having materntiy clothings to new born rompers...

so wat u all waiting for?? Click on the link beside on the detail page... or the link at the begining of this entry..

Happy Chinese New Year!!! 2 days of new year over juz like tt... i haven enjoy enough!!! sadz.... anyway, i shall update later on my new yr holidays....

i wanna present my new room image!! hahaa...


My new letter holder....


My whole family....erm... ok, the big one is missing...


My self-made dressing table....


This is hw it look like inside...


yes, the big one has return to my bed... hahahahaa...

My life in 2009 till nw is like...ROLLER COASTER? 15 days into 2009, i've experienced happiness, sweetness, tenderness, gladness, sadness, bleakness, hopelessness, and finally numbness.... exciting rite? nt many can experience so many feelings in juz 15days into a new year leh....

1. I was stunned by ur actions, u never will do tt to me! but u did, on the 1st day into the yr. I was totally lost.... where is ur T.L.C? suddenly, u seems very far away.... (sad, disappointment)

2. I met up with u on the 2nd day into the yr... u made my day. ur innocence, honesty and ur sincere actions made me laugh and 4got tt i was actually in a foul mood... u made me dun wanna let the night end.... u sent me back even though we were near ur place... u made me smile by juz thinking of ur rxns (happy, sweet)

3. i chose the wrong time to tok to u, i made the wrong choice of insisting u to ans my qns. i'm wrong to show my concern to u at the wrong time. everything i did is juz wrong... WRONG! so if i'm so wrong and u hated me soo much... well, i'll juz SHUT THE F*** UP! tt's the exact words u said to me... it hurts... it's wrong to worry abt ur headache, it's wrong to worry abt ur chest pains.... i really wonder... mayb we r juz 2 very different ppl... i cried the whole night... but i promised myself... THIS IS THE LAST TIME! (despair)

4. I received news that OFM is leaving for good (erm,,, i heard applaud? or sigh of relief? or did someone say FINALLY?)... he tendered his resignation letter...hw did i feel when i 1st heard the news? i dunno... felt nth... (numb)

5. It's confirmed that OFM is leaving on 6th Feb. He is getting married on the 14th Feb (this, he didnt tell me... i was told by the others... some say it's better to dunno than to noe)... ppl tot i'll be too sad... all tried to come and console me... i smiled and say i dun feel anything.. but still glad to be loved by so many... (glad, touched)

6. I met up with u once more for ur bdae... u told me u got a gf... i was dumbfold... then u told me u bluff me... u only wanna make me angry... i nearly strangled u.... but u were replying her sms whole night!!! i was soooo annoyed! then we had a tok, u held me tightly and said though we can never be tgt... u will never leave me... (this is kid's tok... but still. nvm... we r gd fren zhong de gd frnes.. hahaa) u will be there for me if i needed u... ur tenderness melted me... broke down all my defences... i cried once again in ur arms... everything tt had been supressed in me ever since the start of the yr... OFM's leaving, the other person's coldness... stress and unhappiness @ work.. everything... u didnt say anything.. u sang the song to me softly, with ur warmth and sincere.. is my greatest consolation... thanks... (touched, grateful)

Here i'm numb once more... wahaha.. erm... it is late @ night.. i think i'm nt in the clear head stage liao.. juz one more update
Abott - QC (12 hr, shift work, contract) asked me for a 2nd interview, if it is successful... will start work soon.. they working out a package for me... but i will nt accept it if it cant cover the income i lost shld i give up my tuition for this job..
Went for interview in Yeo's... pray hard for them to call me for 2nd interview!! hehee

I'll be jobless after 31st Jan 2009! hahahaa...

ok... eyes damn pain liao.. shld sleep le...

My Latest Fav

江语晨 - 我太乖
From her album 晴天娃娃, she was the girl tt acted in Jay Chou's SECRET, the 'real life' girl....
She is also rumoured to be Jay's latest gf....

我太乖
作词∶陈镇川
作曲∶陈少荣 (rumored tt it is Jay's pen name, so as to minimised rumor of whole album written by him, and trying to minimise the chances of putting his n her name tgt... bt he denied... so nobody know the truth except for the ppl invloved)


手机挂满了色彩 对话却是一片灰白
线上匿称是期待 等的人却总是离开
答应他 我会乖
奖品却是在发呆
你们说的我不信 我心里都明白

关上门倒数等待 世界只为他而打开
过程或许有伤害 却仍相信苦尽甘来
我不傻 我不呆
故事总会有意外
我看得到他的好 值得我去爱

如果我太爱猜 太爱怀疑 太爱责怪
换来 谎言相待
我选择 安安静静 像个小孩
反而显得无害
别 再为我担心 我不怕摔
这是我的爱情 我的未来

是不是我太乖 看不见他的坏
可是他的眼神 偏偏想依赖
也许是我太乖 偶尔被忘了宠爱
才学会孤单的勇敢

关上门倒数等待 世界只为他而打开
过程或许有伤害 却仍相信苦尽甘来
我不傻 我不呆
故事总会有意外
我看得到他的好 值得我去爱

如果我太爱猜 太爱怀疑 太爱责怪
换来 谎言相待
我选择 安安静静 像个小孩
反而显得无害
别 再为我担心 我不怕摔
这是我的爱情 我的未来

是不是我太乖 看不见他的坏
可是他的眼神 偏偏想依赖
也许是我太乖 偶尔被忘了宠爱
才学会孤单的勇敢

是不是我太乖 看不见他的坏
可是他的眼神 偏偏想依赖
也许是我太乖 不怕被忘了宠爱

谁说 男人坏 女人才爱

A very meaningful song... like the lyrics... :P

Juz came back frm 五月天新歌飙唱会!
And IT ROX!!! Thanks to Asmine tt we got 2 tix to enjoy this wonderful, extremely high concert!

It was sooooo high thru out lor... with them singing their old songs to the new songs in the latest album, 后青春期的诗
Too bad Guan You wasnt here.. as his father in law juz passed away... so poor thing... ah xin made the whole audience to shout 'GUAN YOU JIA YOU!!!!'

Anyway, listening to MayDay live is pure enjoyment! they will make you high fun tian sia!!! so i dun mind going to watch their concert on the 29th Aug 2009, even if i'm gonna pay for it.. wahaha....
hwever, anyone who is interested to help me pay... u R VERY WELCOME!! best if u can help me n my sis pay lor.. wahahah....

I think my sis oso going for the concert.. so i nw asking anyone interested to join us? Erm... those who dunno hw to high or cant high or cant stand screaming, shouting and jumping... pls DUN join us... coz u WILL hate it!! hehee other than tt.. ALL R WELCOME!! hee...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! It is once again a brand new year... hope that 2009 is a much much better yr for everyone....

Come to think of it... time flies... i mean... last yr at this pt of time, leaving GK had NEVER came across my mind de lor.. nw... i've resigned for almost 5 mths le...
wat do i achieve this yr? i oso dunno.. seems like i pass this yr dreaming lor...

Let's go thru it slowly:

Work: I left the company i loved yet i noe i cant stay... then nw still in search for a new job....
New Year resolution: I shall work harder to find a better job... or mayb upgrade myself... if enough $$

Studies: Was rejected by Massey Uni... quite disappointed... but well... mayb is juz fate....
New Year Resolution: Gonna consider carefully to take a FULL time food tech degree or part time mktg degree

Family: Things had nt been well... air ard the hse is wierd.. all members r nt united... haiz... but i saw improvements!! andd tt is grate!
New Year Resoultions: To stay home more and pray hard tt things go well for the family in the year 2009!

Frens: Alot of different grp of frens... yet the most understanding frens are those who nOe me 10+ yrs de... some frenships had weaken, some had strengthten.... tt's part and parcel of life... so juz accept it... i've been hurt... and hurt ppl in return... i was disappointed... yet i noe some frens are disappointed in me.. things were nt tt well during 2008
New Year Resoultions: Pray tt things go well in 2009, using the most open minded and huge heart to accept everything and anything...

Love: THIS SUCKS! haha... ok.. for this yr, my love life is in a mess... say tt i shld meet the right one here le... where???cant find... yet keep repeating hurt by the same ppl... juz being toopid and really totally have no faith in guys and in marriage... so sianz...
New Year Resolution: Enjoy my life... to hell with marriage!!! hahaa

Anything else?? hmmmm... this yr:
I shall - spend less
- sleep early
- stay at home more frequently... hhahaaa

well.. this is sth i every yr say de.. seems like nt working... hahaa

anyway, juz changed my playlist... NICE SONGS... most of the songs de lyrics r damn meaning... esp some to me... hhehee