I drank almost 8 cups of milk tea ( UNWILLINGLY), causing me now wide awake!!! damn!

anyway, i recieved a piece of good news.. Yingxiu is getting married! and guess wat? her wedding day is on my bdae!! hahhaha... so cool rite??? BUT 1 big prob... SHLD i go anot? this is the qns...

y i dun feel like going?
1. I'm broke
2. It's my bdae! (though tyx said NO ONE will ask me out tt day!)
3. I dun wanna see him

Y i wanna go?
1. Coz she is the 1st in SP Clique to get married
2. coz i can meet up with frens i didnt meet for quite some time
3. Coz i got a dress for her wedding (hahaha yes.. i noe it she getting married tis yr.. so bought a dress durning CNY)
4. if i dun go, wy will not go, ly sure not go.. then seems not nice...

well... i was giving advice to ppl ard me when it come to matters of heart.. yet i myself am facing this prob... toopid rite?

Oh ya... another thing.. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN GUYS' MINDS!?!? On the same day, i got some rxn frm two guy buddies of mine tt made me sooo damn annoyed!

1. i was at SP collecting my offer letter and stuff with tyx. then we had lunch in SP juz so happen tt it was the same place where my two buddies were having lunch. Female buddy noe i was there.. and was so excited tt came by a few times juz to make some noise.

Male buddy was no where be seen, so i decided to call him( he ALWAYS sounded excited when i was in sch). he didnt sound happy tt i was near him, nor he sounded excited... me, being me... i juz feel tt mayb he had a bad day.. and was having lunch with some big shots... so cannot sound too informal... so i juz brushed off the feeling of being 敷衍.

then he was almost near my table when he went to take some food... he didnt even bother to come by and say hi... which was sooooooo not him.. i didnt take it at heart actually.. but then when i left the place, the more i recall tt scenerio, the more disappointed i'm... so.. even a hi is a chore to him? well... suan liao lah..

2. I sms this guy buddy, he didnt reply (ok, he might be bz); then i called him ah hr later after i smsed.... (he didnt pick up, which was soooo not him. HE WOULD NEVER MISSED A CALL UNLESS HE WANNA DO IS PURPOSELY.) again, me being me, i juz think tt he left his phone on his desk, and he was somewhere else... but he didnt return call or reply sms (which he NEVER did tt to me)...

i got a strong feeling someone told him sth tt is nt true tt caused his rxn.. i cant say i noe this buddy inside out.. but i def noe hw he reacts to certain things... DAMN HIM! hw can he so nt trust his buddy, me!?!? i tot we r always partners in crime!? n i totally no image in front of him de lor... if there is possibility.. WHY THE HELL AM I NOT CARING MY IMAGE!?
toopid man! eeeeek.. 让别人有机可乘！真是个笨蛋！让人挑拨！
TYL will not be so toopid like u lah!

Found this on my Chinese Blog... this is 生命的无奈？ hahahaa,..

世界上最远的距离
不是 生与死的距离
而是 我站在你面前 你不知道我爱你
　　
世界上最远的距离
不是 我站在你面前 你不知道我爱你
而是 爱到痴迷 却不能说我爱你
　　
世界上最远的距离
不是 我不能说我爱你
而是 想你痛彻心脾 却只能深埋心底
　　
世界上最远的距离
不是 我不能说我想你
而是 彼此相爱 却不能够在一起
　　
世界上最远的距离
不是 彼此相爱 却不能够在一起
而是 明知道真爱无敌 却装作毫不在意
　　
世界上最远的距离
不是 树与树的距离
而是 同根生长的树枝 却无法在风中相依
　　
世界上最远的距离
不是 树枝无法相依
而是 相互了望的星星 却没有交汇的轨迹
　　
世界上最远的距离
不是 星星之间的轨迹
而是 纵然轨迹交汇 却在转瞬间无处寻觅
　　
世界上最远的距离
不是 瞬间便无处寻觅
而是 尚未相遇 便注定无法相聚
　　
世界上最远的距离
是鱼与飞鸟的距离
一个在天，一个却深潜海底

today went to Hotel 81 Selegi with Ivan.... (ivan say muz finish the whole sentence)... to acc him to get shirt frm a tailor... wahahahhaa...

We went to have our dinner at Victor's Kitchen.. This is actually one of my fave place for dim sum... it is REALLY nice... but coz it seems to be out of place and have not been there for quite sometime... i didnt mention it to anyone else until today.

Yes, it was LCM who brought me to this place... and i fall in love with it... the dim sum IS NICE... esp the carrot cake.. and yes.. LCM did da bao all the way back to wdl for me,... juz coz i called him and said i was hungry... hahaha.. i told ivan abt it.. come to think of it.. i was quite demanding then.. ehehehe... hahhaa.. LCM, if u r reading this.. PS lah.. for being so demanding then.... ivan told me... can see tt he is good in his own ways... but well.. hahaha... being frens is still a better choice...

Look at the food we ordered.. nice nice... of coz... the company oso plays a part....

Love toking to Ivan...with him... i can tok non-stop... he allows me to be toopid.. to dream (but he will tell me to stop dreaming), he listens to my most inner tots without condemning me... i can juz tell him everything and anything!!!! wahahahahhaa...

IVAN, LISTEN! u can change everything on u, ur looks, ur voice, ur hairstyle, ur size! but not the inner IVAN i noe... NEVER k?!?! coz i dunno who can allow me to speak so freely liao.. wahahhaa...

btw i found a happy place... it is the soft toys machines arcade @ Marina Sq.... no need to buy or play... juz walk ard... i feel happy.... (ivan say i very easily man zhu... )...

25th anniversary is finally over!!! great! today everyone is on leave... TYL is the only one working in the 1st floor office.. no pdtn today... aiyo... damn sian damn sian damn sian... toopid meeting...

Ppl say no matter what happen outside... u can always fall back onto ur family.. they are ur support... they are the only ones who dun betray u... they are the ones who always be there for u... i never doubt this sentence.. i always have a lovable, supporting family... in fact a lot of ppl envy tt i have such a family... cute daddy mommy, caring bro... lovable sis... wat more can i ask for rite?

BUT u noe... human changed... even ur flesh and blood kin changed... i was looking thru some old photos... i realised tt how happy we were last time... me n my bro were so close... i think we were buddies... even when my sis was born... she didnt break our bond... things changed as u grew up...

we no longer close... we no longer can chat... we are juz merely taking turns to speak... it is so hurtful... i was trying to care... but he doesnt care... i noe he is tired.. he need to work for long hrs... and need to take care a lot of things... but HE is the ONLY one tired??? he work for more than 12 hrs everyday... yep... it is taxing and tiring....but all he thinks tt he is tired? The stress i faced at work, when i need to go tuition straight frm work without dinner...then be stress by students' parents... and worried abt then students... when i have to work at home till wee hrs... this is not tiring.. coz to him.. i'm juz rotting on FB, going out with frens.. lazing ard.... I M ENJOYING LIFE!! while he is slogging all the way... to him, we r juz lazing and wasting our life away, while he is the only one working hard...

i can ask hw is he.... coz he will juz snap at me... i cant concern abt him... coz to him i'm juz digging and nagging and trying to get him into trouble... he seems sick.. juz asked if he is ill... mayb i can cook /made some herbal stuff for him... but wat did he say!?!?! he snap at me!!! i saw tt he anyhow spend money...i nagged at him... he ignored me... m i in the wrong?!?!

i'm here trying ways and means to save and to earn more for my studies... he juz spend his HARD EARNED money like money is juz a few pieces of paper... so i'm in the wrong..
i sensed tt sth is wrong.. i tried to ask... end up... the look on his face... i'm in the wrong again...
i shldnt ask, i shldnt care.. i shldnt do anything... i juz shut up and mind my own business..

so y shld i be sad and lost tt i have a fren who is no longer close to me.. even my own bro oso like tt liao... so i guess... it muz be sth wrong with me... i'm not a gd fren.. i'm nt a gd sis... i'm someone who cant live up to anyone's standards...

i'm hurt.. but .. i have to smile infront of everyone... i'm juz so tired....... really... who noes the stress i'm facing.. the fear... the unforseen future??? sometime i really juz wanna hide in my own shell.. never to come out..