Ppl say no matter what happen outside... u can always fall back onto ur family.. they are ur support... they are the only ones who dun betray u... they are the ones who always be there for u... i never doubt this sentence.. i always have a lovable, supporting family... in fact a lot of ppl envy tt i have such a family... cute daddy mommy, caring bro... lovable sis... wat more can i ask for rite?

BUT u noe... human changed... even ur flesh and blood kin changed... i was looking thru some old photos... i realised tt how happy we were last time... me n my bro were so close... i think we were buddies... even when my sis was born... she didnt break our bond... things changed as u grew up...

we no longer close... we no longer can chat... we are juz merely taking turns to speak... it is so hurtful... i was trying to care... but he doesnt care... i noe he is tired.. he need to work for long hrs... and need to take care a lot of things... but HE is the ONLY one tired??? he work for more than 12 hrs everyday... yep... it is taxing and tiring....but all he thinks tt he is tired? The stress i faced at work, when i need to go tuition straight frm work without dinner...then be stress by students' parents... and worried abt then students... when i have to work at home till wee hrs... this is not tiring.. coz to him.. i'm juz rotting on FB, going out with frens.. lazing ard.... I M ENJOYING LIFE!! while he is slogging all the way... to him, we r juz lazing and wasting our life away, while he is the only one working hard...

i can ask hw is he.... coz he will juz snap at me... i cant concern abt him... coz to him i'm juz digging and nagging and trying to get him into trouble... he seems sick.. juz asked if he is ill... mayb i can cook /made some herbal stuff for him... but wat did he say!?!?! he snap at me!!! i saw tt he anyhow spend money...i nagged at him... he ignored me... m i in the wrong?!?!

i'm here trying ways and means to save and to earn more for my studies... he juz spend his HARD EARNED money like money is juz a few pieces of paper... so i'm in the wrong..
i sensed tt sth is wrong.. i tried to ask... end up... the look on his face... i'm in the wrong again...
i shldnt ask, i shldnt care.. i shldnt do anything... i juz shut up and mind my own business..

so y shld i be sad and lost tt i have a fren who is no longer close to me.. even my own bro oso like tt liao... so i guess... it muz be sth wrong with me... i'm not a gd fren.. i'm nt a gd sis... i'm someone who cant live up to anyone's standards...

i'm hurt.. but .. i have to smile infront of everyone... i'm juz so tired....... really... who noes the stress i'm facing.. the fear... the unforseen future??? sometime i really juz wanna hide in my own shell.. never to come out..