hmmm... iwebtunes no more le.. so no songs.. then finally found another way... hee.. then got song le... this song is Bye! Boy by 7 flowers... it's frm wang zi bian qing wa OST de.. hahaha.. n I HVAE FINISHED THE WHOLE SHOW!!!! so happy... coz ending so sweet so nice... yes.. a lot of ppl dun like the show.. coz they feel tt it is too fairy tale... too kua zhang.. BUT!!! pls take a closer look at the cover of the VCD, it write: 一部美力，童话般的爱情故事。they already stated there le... it's a fairy tale.. so ppl who dun like can jolly welll dun watch.. dun go watch liao.. then keep condemning it... say it's so not realistic, blah, blah, blah... FAIRY TALES R NOT REALISTIC!!!
ok.. finished on my wang zi bian qing wa le.. hehe...

Now... today is the day on huixian's 21st bdae celebration... we planned for a mth.. to give her a surprise party... her mom got the place.. my job is to drag her time till the real party started!! so i met her in the morning, we went bugis... telling her lotsa lotsa lies.. making her worry n sad.. then make her try clothes.. till she tired.. then bought her a dress... hee.. actually we planned to give her a make over de.. hehee... the yx very naughty.. 1st tell xian she got bf le.. n was quarrelling with him... then tell her tt we helped her make over was coz tt at night we going for a match making session... to think tt TYX can coem out with this kind of idea!! so stupid lor.. but my dear ah xian really believe it lor.. thru'out the shopping trip, she was so worried... n so stressed.. so scared tt her legs turned jelly n need the support of pillar.. wahahahaa.... ( i not kua zhang!! she reallly damn scared... )

then we actually booked an appointment with estee lauder.. for a make up.. for xian de.. who noes... tt make up lady went for dinner... when we reached!!! n WE WERE RIGHT ON TIME... we booked 4pm.. then they told us tt the make up lady's dinner time is 4pm.. if this is the case.. y didnt they inform us earlier when we making the appointment!? haiz... n the person there dun evenbother to help us think of a solution!! OMG!! end up... we do it on our own.. ok lah.. not we.. is xian herself n cheryl.. hehee... TYL of coz cant help ppl make up de lah.. sure cmi de.. hehee

today can say not very smooth lor... coz 1st the make up thing.. then yx called n say the place cant play the movie we made for xian!! i almost fainted... yx spent so much time on it,... n we cant play!!! end up.. thanx to cheryl's laptop n projector.. then we can watch... really muz thanx cheryl.. she did lotsa things today sia.. CHERYL THANX THANX.. MUACKZ.... hehee u saved the say.. haha...

anyway, when xian reached Yishun Safra... we met her mom!! suay!!! they not suppose to meet de lor.. haiz.. tot our surprise failed le.. but.. hee... she never tot tt so many ppl were there.. when we went in.. she was shocked!!! she bursted into tears!! coz she didnt expect so many ppl were there.. tt was the 1st shock.. 2nd shock was tt her two best frens frm taka (Brian n Kaiting) came... she was so surprise... coz she didnt noe how on earth i can contact them.. heee (this call, tyl is resourceful, hahaa) then the finally shock... which made her cry till dunno wat.. is the video, the video we made.. made her laugh.. made every1 laugh.... it was YT's LOOONNNNNGGGG NAAAAGGGGGGGGYYYYY video tt made her cry till dunno like wat... cheryl n i was so worried abt he make-up getting smudge.. haha..
Yt.. we didnt finished the whole video lah... half way thru, my aunt ask.. how come yt so naggy de.. hahahaa... :p wahahahaa... but i think will finish watching it once she reach home...

can say was a success... with little hiccups... then she got her surprise.. i think quite unforgettable ba.. hee...

hmmm today the party was held in a ktv room.. n i realised tt xian's cousin can sing well.. very nice... n for the 1st time in my life.. i didnt get the hold of the mic... haiz...一山还有一山高。。 his stamina better than mine sia.. whole night he singing.. hahaha.. n i no chance get... hahaa.. ermmm... no no.. is coz i shy.. dun dare to sing in front of so many pple.. haha....

tml sch start le.. so fast.. haiz... think i'm falling sick.. tml get MC.... wahahaha

I'm back.. frm Genting... well, Cheryl 4gotten tt i went off... to think tt she was trying to contact me for the past few days... haha... anyway, it's a long time since i went to genting... changed quite abit...

this time round.. i can openly go into Casino... n of coz.. the security wanna check my IC (as usual).. n i proudly showed him... whahahaa.. coz tyl is 22 le.. juz tt ppl dun c it only... hee.. actually dun quite like casino... coz very smoky there.. yucks... played jackpot.. lose all the way!!! sian... guess i juz dun have the luck...
didnt go to the outdoor theme park.. as it's only me n my sis wanna play, will play n dare to play...n we felt it's like not fun lor... scream oso we 2 scream.. not high... so might as well dun go... end up we went to wacth movie... it's sooooo cheap.... RM8.. which is less than S$4... watched Andy Lau's latest movie, Wait till U Grow Up (童梦奇缘).. A NICE MOVIE!!! really very nice.. muz go watch... very touching... a movie tt really have depth... one phrase 人生可悲的是不能重来，可喜的是它不用再重来。JM used it as his nick.. i tot he suddenly become so 有墨水... chey.. copy de... hahaha...

anyway, i stopped over at Malacca (b4 going Genting, n b4 coming back to SG)... i today i kept emphazing on the fact tt i was in Malacca... i think LY almost went crazy.. hahaha... i purposely kept tellng her i at Melacca mah.. whahahaa...

At Genting.. saw this huge Doraemon outside a shop... i went crazy... n wanna take photo with it.. then tyx say very xia suay... coz we in shopping centre... then we bet to c if Ben will wanna come xia suay with us mah... who noes.. he agreed... to help us take photo... hahah.. then me n tyx really go posed in front of tt doreamon lor.. hahahaa


saw lotsa stuff.. but didnt buy.. coz thailand cheaper.. I MISS THAILAND!! so i muz really save for my thailand trip! hmmm.. no more KTV.. n ex ex meals... so dun jio me go to those ex ex places... unless necessary.. hahahaa...

dunno wat happen to lcm... heard frm cheryl he was depress... then go ask him.. he dun wanna tell.. then since he bad mood.. i acc him play game... then oso dunnno wat happen.. suddenly, he say i fan!!! kaoz.. i'm juz tooo stupid to show concern over someone who thinks i'm fan lor... haiz... sometime i was thinking y i like to torture myself.. caring for this kind of ppl.. haiz... sian sian sian... then now he gimme attitude.. wao lao... haiz.. suan liao.. next time i juz heck care every1... no need to show concern to any1... coz end up ppl will juz say U FAN!

Finally, i'm back online.. idiotic internet connection.. dunno wat happen.... juz cannot contact for the past 2 days.. n i cant come online... then was so sian lor.. now then i realised how addicted to comp.. to internet.. once i dun have internet.. i bored to death sia...

sat.. after tuition.. realised nobody at home.. so means no dinner... haiz.. call tons of ppl.. all cant make it.. everytime like tt de.. anyway, I FAILED!!! haiz.. i smsed him.. though no reply frm him ( as usual, dunno wat excuse he giving again), i still fail.. coz i contact him 1st.. haiz.. suan liao..

anyway, coz nothing to do.. alone at home.. no internet.. so started playing warcraft again lor.. haha.. actually finished the whole campagin liao.. but too bored mah.. so start the whole thing again.. well, i'm addicted to it again.. oh no... sch reopen soon.. now addicted means jia lat le.. ahahaa....

tyx n tyw came home.. so we called pizza home delievery.. too lazy to go out le lah.. somemore sat night.. sure lotsa ppl de.. i hate places packed with lotsa ppl.. so... asked them come back.. we call home delievery... mommy came back.. she faint lor.. coz she say we eating junk food again.. hahaa...

Today results are out... i did.. ermm.. average lor.. though of coz... still lower than my expectation... so abit disappointed... n hence, whole day not in a very gd mood lor... abit sian.... coz have not been doing well since yr 2.. going to be last sem liao... already got no strength to carry on... coz input never = to output.... ppl only c results.. only see grades.. not gd, they will start asking, 'how come so lousy?'.. 'u didnt study ar?'.. 'u slack izzit?' cant they see the process? how much time n effort ppl put into? grades... do they really indicate ur cabilities?? but wat to do.. we r in SG.. n SG require to look at GRADES!! wat they want is the outcome not the process.... i'm really really very tired le.. guess will not cont'd to further study liao...

then during lunch.. my mom n bro nagged me the whole day... i was so fed up... haiz... nv have peace sia... then my mom tell me sth... i was stunned... now i'm scare... really scare... dunno wat to do... i feel so lost... my mom said... daddy had been complaining tt his arms r numb. then tt day went c doc.. doc say mayb symptoms of stroke... so wanna him go for a brain scan... i noe nuts abt this.. wat i noe is tt my dad is not as energertic as b4.. but this is normal.. since age is catching up.. now i get to noe this.. i'm totally stunned!! wat m i doing?! i was always the most sensitive de... can noe wat's happening ard me.. but how come now like tt?? have i been not caring for my family for a long time? i dunno.. ah ting got ask me if i ok today mah.. i told her i'm fine.. coz i really dunnno how to explain to her abt my fear... my fear of losing my dad.. the one who will laugh, will bully me, will fight with me de... the one who will bring me ard.. telling me where got nice thing to eat.. the one who will bargain for me..

i feel so lonely suddenly... i dun wanna tell mommy.. coz she herself facing lotsa problems... n i dun wanna burden her with somemore.. n oso dun wanna scare her.. coz she is oso really afraid tt it's really stroke... it's juz tt she dun wanna say it out.. she told me... 'it's time u really have to grow up le'...

i'm so idiotic.. 当我家可能面对极大的考验时，我还只为了一个不懂得珍惜友谊的人而伤心。comparing them.. i'm stupid for being sad for such a small matter... haiz... no way i'm thinking abt any relationship.. no way thinking abt how come he become like tt or watsoever... now wat i'm going to do is to find ways to help my dad to prevent or delay the onset of stroke!

Haiz... really very sian... everyday go sch.. juz hope to finish the experimental part of our FYP earlier... then today... tt Fibretec spoil... then cant do... haiz... our progress is delayed now lor... the at 1st dun wanna follow mommy they all go genting.. coz scare cannot finish.. but after we plan our time properly... our last week is free... HOWEVER, now tt machine break down... our last week of sch have to go back sch...

then last week.. mon, tues, wed... lab close.. coz renovation.. so cant do oso.. juz nice.. the dates they going genting.. so end up i still follow them lor... hmmm... go up there relax, n have peace ba.. n do some thinking... n clear everything out frm my mind ba.. mayb.. juz mayb.. hahaa

anyway, on the way back.. saw a familar face.. but cant remember who.. so i juz heck care lor.. who noes, he come n call me... n i looked at him.. n realised it was my pri sch classmate, joker.. aliman.. last time, i was in very gd terms with him.. he everytime sure do things to make me laugh or amaze de.. hahaa.. he remembered me.. n still call tell his gf my name.. hahaha... amazing.. hahaa..

then met mr peng, cheryl at cwp at night, mr peng... juz come back frm thailand.. hahaha.. of coz got buy things back for us lah.. so nice of him.. hahaa.. thanx, ah hui.. haha... actually was quite surprise tt mr peng yong hui, darren remembers i like doraemon... hhahaha... so touch.. so happy.. hehe... he bought me a doraemon mat... n bought cheryl eeyore.. haha...

after tt we go meet LCM.. then was chitchtting.. n we plan n hope to go thailand in dec.. jio them go in march after my exam, they dun want... they say go dec.. hmmm.. hopefully i wun be too bz to go.. hahahaa... then we'll shop for our new yr clothes!! hehee...

went thru a lot of photos... saw photos tt r 20 yrs ago.. 10 yrs ago.. or a few yrs back.. n guessed wat.. saw LCM's 19th bdae cake.. n realised it was so cute... we so gd to him ar.. made such a cute cake for him.. hahaa... then saw my 21st bdae photos.. though it's juz last yr.. but seems like long time ago le.. coz tt one yr.. lotsa things happen.. n when looking at the photo, a lot of memories came into my mind.. n i still can feel the pain in my heart.. haiz... if i can stop the time.. i really wish time will stop at one yr ago... b4 i went thai.... but i cant... n i have to move fwd.. so... cannot think so much le....

well... time to go n sleep le... if think so much.. cant sleep.. then jia lat.. hhahaa

Morning went to Riverside.. to talk to the graduating classes abt the alumni mentoring... 1st time tok in front of so many ppl lor.. me legs were so wobby.. lucky thing... nt to the extend of making me fall down sia.. hahaha.. me n cheryl went.. after the talk.. cheryl then tell me she oso scare.. oso got jelly legs.. hahahaa....

i dunno if the tok is a success mah.. coz didnt stay till the end.. n oso... jason wee keong they all come sign up mah.. they say they joining us le.. but apart frm them.. really dunno still got who joining lor..

went sch do fyp.. today xh leg cramp.. cant go sch.. so ly whole morning 1 man show.. really li hai sia... hahaha... n oso muz thank yp... she came down n help ly out.. think can liao.. i can leave the stuff with them n go holiday liao.. hehehe.... since ly can 1 man show all the way.. n finished so many stuff.. hee..
however, the dietary fibre machine... feel like strangling it lor... TMD.. so slow.. was filtering for 3 hrs.. still cannot!!! do till 1830 today lor...!!! kaoz... idiot de leh... so fed up...then end up i no time go home have dinner... muz go tuition le...

today class.. as usual... NOISY! was very tired liao lor.. rushing here n there the whole day... then they make so much noise!!! kaoz... haiz...

a few days ago.. saw this cute little tortoise hp accessory at More Than Words.. so cute!! so nice.. fall in love sia.. but it's $5.90.. ex lor.. then oso come across the same tortoise pencilcase... so cute n nice oso, however cost $9.90... haiz... really wanna buy... but like abit ex hor... dunno lah... LY fall in love with tt tortoise hp accessory oso.. she say c who 1st to buy.. hahaa.. i say wanna c who wanna buy for me... but she say if like tt.. sure she 1st to buy de.. coz nobody will buy for me.. haiz... nvm... i'll consider if can buy mah.. i go buy for myself.. heehe

I got the worst news of the century today!! My mom told me she wanna my sis to come back to my room to sleep with me!!! Oh No!!!! For those who noe my hse pattern.. u all shld noe tt my sis had left my room to slp with her bro (my bro oso lah) more than a yr ago.. since then i've been sleeping alone in MY OWN ROOM!

i put up my 5566 posters, filled the whole room with stars, doraemon n pigs.. now... today... my mom come n say.. she wanna change my bed frm horizontal to vertical.. so me n my sis can sleep side by side!!! OMG! this is still ok.. then my mom say room is divided into half.. so the wall oso.. which means i have to take down my 5566!!! NO WAY! haiz

tt sis of mine.. tot she can conqure her bro's room... so moved over.. but my bro's empire too powerful... she cant conqure.. so now.. she using my mom's power.. together.. they wanna conqure my room!! so sad... i think i'll end up chase to go sleep balcony le.. sob sob... poor me!
then my mom now shifting it.. n guess wat.. half of my bed in underneath the platform... n where i put my doraemon n stuff?! the acc me everynight de lor!!! kaoz... haiz.. sad sad...

think cant sleep tonight liao... with extra member in my room... sianz...

everday go sch.. really very sian liao.. tml start, have to go sch 0830.. more sian..wat to do.. tt machine testing for dietary fibre de... need 8 hrs... so have to be early lor.. or else dunno muz work till wat time.. haiz...

today yp broke down again.. haiz.. this girl.. dunno muz tell her how many times.. dun think too much.. dun give herself unnecessay stress.. but then again.. aiyo... i think a lot of them kana scared by her lor.. KL for sure.. kana scared... the WJ n kg oso i think.. they tot they were the ones who made her angry n cry.. hahaa.. n of coz.. other ppl looking at them.. oso will think it's them de... hee...

hmmm.. we muz try nt to let yp think too much... she got too much on her mind le.. 忘不了的往日情，太多自己给于自己的压力... haiz... poor thing... but ly say she improved alot le.. at least tt tear glands nt as loose as b4 le.. mayb a few yrs down the road.. she can ren... hahaha...:P

Wao.. finally my story blog is up le... i create a blog.. specially for the story i writing.. so ppl can juz go the website to read n leave comments.. n i no need spend time sending email to every1.. hehee...

this is the blogsite: dreamystory.blogspot.com.... u can oso get the link frm this blog.. juz search it ba.. wahahaa..
muz go sleep le.. or else tml cannot wake up in time.. liyun gonna kill me liao...

Sat morning.. no need wake up early to go to mentoring... so slept till quite late. my mom called back frm mkt in the morning, asking my dad n my bro who at home. both of them told my mom only they 2 at home!!! n i was still in my room sleeping!!! n my room door was not close! haiz

end up.. my mom didnt buy my bfast... n of coz.. she cursed me all the way frm mkt back to hse.. cursing me y i go out didnt inform her... but the truth was : I STILL AT HOME!! juz tt the 2 dun bother to check if any1 else at home mah.. haiz.. poor me.. kana cursed for nth...

my mom asked if i wanna her to acc me go eat b4 my tuition.. i say no need.. lazy le.. so c home got wat things to eat lor...
it was raining heavily.. my dad went out to work... n he asked me to fetch him an umbrella... i cant find those big big de.. so i gave him de foldable de... n he looked at tt umbrella... then like tt turned away.. n walked away.. heck care me even i shouted ask him come back!!! TMD gimme wat attitude la!! Kaoz.. i didnt offend him leh... kaoz... then like tt gimme attitude... foldable umbrella cannot be used de meh?! kaoz!!!! as i say.. i really hate guys n their attitude!

went tuition... my K2... dunno wat happen... they so nosiy... n so naughty.. mayb i treat them too well le.. sian....

after tuition, i realised tt hse no ppl.. means i no dinner.. n no 1 acc me!!!! YT, WHERE R U?!... haiz.. called JM.. he at NTU mountain xiu lian, LCM coz of fish dun want me.. cheryl bz with her stuff... then i call ivan.. with my fingers crossed... he was sleeping... n he said he can meet me... love him so... 旧爱还是最美... hahaaa... ivan is the best!! hee... hahaa...

we met n go eat sushi... then gossip.. tok cock.. n of coz.. listen to his latest story.. he always got interesting story.. hahaha... after rotting in cwp... we went over to PS.. it's a gd thing tt he has a car.. hahaa.. go anywhere oso can.. after tt he send me home le.. he went watch movie with lyn... well.. as he say.. he is pei ke... hahaa... pei me till i wanna go back le.. then go pei the other... hee... then come back typed my story... feel like starting another story.. hehe...

Fall in love with this song.. by Rainie Yang 杨丞琳. Title: 暧昧 (ai mei).
for ppl who dun understand wat is the meaning of 暧昧 (ai mei) .. it is actually saying tt a relationship between two ppl is very unclear... for eg, u n the other party.. r very very close... till ppl really misunderstand both of u as a couple.. but the 2 of u never admit.. or 证实你们在一起 or say is impossible to be together.. yet r behaving like a couple...

dunno y.. the moment i heard this song.. i really like it lor.. mayb coz of the lyrics.. to some ppl out there, mayb u will feel tt the lyrics r telling ur story too.. i've changed my blog song to this song le...

暧昧
词∶姜忆萱/颜玺轩 曲∶小冷

暧昧让人受尽委屈 找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进 何时该放弃 连拥抱都没有勇气

只能陪你到这里 毕竟有些事不可以
超过了友情 还不到爱情 远方就要下雨的风景
到底该不该哭泣 想太多是我还是你
我很不服气 也开始怀疑
眼前的人 是不是同一个 真实的你

暧昧让人受尽委屈 找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进 何时该放弃 连拥抱都没有勇气
暧昧让人变得贪心 直到等待失去意义
无奈我和你 写不出结局
放遗憾的美丽 停在这里

Back frm chalet le... mon, met kl, yy, marcus to go to buy stuff.. then go chalet... well... had fun.. hope all others oso enjoy.. whahaha...

YP.. became our maid sia... mopped floor... clean kitchen.. really like auntie leh.. hahaha... can fight with wy le.. wahahaa... then ly, tt sleeping beauty sia... hahaa... keep sleeping... then hor... yy n xh go drag her out of the bed... then drag her out of the room.. then make her lie outside the toilet... hahaa.. ly said she was shouting 'help' all the way... but no one save her.. only TH ran up.. n stand there look wat's happening.. whahahaa.... but hor.. i muz say.. we really didnt hear her shout.. ahahhaaa

then in chalet rot, sing ktv, watch movie, play mahjong.. hahaha... then they go play bowling.. got bet.. those who lost... muz wear socks.. pull to the highest... then wear slippers walk back to chalet, n BBQ for the winning grp.. wahahaa.. n it's so funny... hahaa...

muz thank every1 who made this possible.. hehee... actually, during the stay.. esp 2nd night.. was quite disappointed. but still ok lah.. coz 希望不高， 失望也不大 lor... so didnt affect me much.. juz a moment of disappointment...

didnt come home for 1-2 days only.. so many things happen.. the moment i reached home... i recieved a shocking news.. then mommy tell me another thing.. haiz.. life ... u never noe wat happen next.... juz hope everything, every1 will be fine...

Children's day over.. so is Yx bdae...haha... we so gd lor... buy so many things for her.. n even let her go ktv.. treat her leh... one most impt thing is that yonghui took photo with her lor.. tt's her best gift ba i guess... hahaa..

tyx n the guy WS (she liked de) got the same bdae lor... n noe wat... she wanna baked cookies for ppl's bdae gift... SHE NEVER SUCCED in baking edible cookies!!! n she wanna bake for him.. coz he like cars.. so she made the cookies into car shapes... n then say wanna to give him 18.. coz he 18 yr old.. so sweet rite?? her kor (my bro) jealous wo.. coz she never put in so much effort for any1 of us lor..... haiz... nw can c clearly... 有异性没人性

she ar.. begged me teach her baked cookies.. n the cookies she baked is at the expense of MY LIFE! Y? coz on sat... i was too bz to eat... morning meeting, then str go tuition... after tuition, i went to meet her to buy the ingridents.... n she wanna find POWERPUFF lunchbox for him.. so i gotta acc her walked round central... with my empty stomach.. it's amazing i didnt faint.. so i can say the cookies r atthe expense of my life.. whahahaa... then of coz.. i baked extras... n got car shaped cookies for lcm de... but he didnt wanna come meet us today.. so no chance let him eat the ccokies.. well if it's eaten away by others... then next time then bake again lor...

still got bball shape for ...... n golf ball shape for yihang... but then coz we liked the cookies so much.. end up ate all le.. so no more golf ball shaped n bball shapes de liao... haha.. sorry yihang.. hahaa.. but got lotsa no shape de cookies left.. sure will let u try de... hahaha

sat is children's day.. n i realised y i like to teach despite of having headaches n prob with kids nowadays... they are so cute.. n funny... n when u gave them their children's day gifts.. looking at their smiles... suddenly feels tt everything is worth it de... n they oso brought me back to the times when i was still recieving children's day gifts.. hee.. sweet memory.. hee...

later we'll have my chalet.. so excited.. yet abit disappointed.. but then.. nvm... i'm sure we'll have fun de...

Actually, i realised tt i'm as stupid as xian... wat right do I have to lecture her?! wat makes me feel this way.. well.. of coz sth happened... as for wat.. i really dun wish to say... actually i already told myself lotsa times ever since dec 2004... i muz give up n get on with my life... i muz not hold on to it... n i muz be 狠心。

actually, i noe very well of how xian felt.. abt difficult to let go... coz one moment.. u decided to let go n 4get abt everything.. the next moment, he did sth.. u 心软 again... n u dun bear to let go... haiz... i cried the whole night again... i promised i wun shed a tear for him anymore... ever since dunno when.. but then... i failed once again... so i thinking wat right i have to say xian!?

i guessed he knew wat he said hurt me.. he smsed me.. but i off hp.. it's only this morning then i get to c the msg... this is oso the reason y it's so hard to let go.. i rather he hurt me.. deeply once n for all.. n dun ever turn back.. let me hate him.. then it's easier ba...

I'm losing confidence in relationship, in guys.. my failed realtionship.. with THAT 2... n xian's example... i'm wondering.. wat nice thing can happen in a realtionship.. i was juz telling my mom.. i'm starting to hate guys.. so dun expect me to be attached not to say marriage... guys nowadays... (or shld i say guys ard me) 不是普通的难搞.... dun even noe wat we muz do then they satisfy.... i'm very sian... sian in everything... disappointed in a lot of things...