Actually, i realised tt i'm as stupid as xian... wat right do I have to lecture her?! wat makes me feel this way.. well.. of coz sth happened... as for wat.. i really dun wish to say... actually i already told myself lotsa times ever since dec 2004... i muz give up n get on with my life... i muz not hold on to it... n i muz be 狠心。

actually, i noe very well of how xian felt.. abt difficult to let go... coz one moment.. u decided to let go n 4get abt everything.. the next moment, he did sth.. u 心软 again... n u dun bear to let go... haiz... i cried the whole night again... i promised i wun shed a tear for him anymore... ever since dunno when.. but then... i failed once again... so i thinking wat right i have to say xian!?

i guessed he knew wat he said hurt me.. he smsed me.. but i off hp.. it's only this morning then i get to c the msg... this is oso the reason y it's so hard to let go.. i rather he hurt me.. deeply once n for all.. n dun ever turn back.. let me hate him.. then it's easier ba...

I'm losing confidence in relationship, in guys.. my failed realtionship.. with THAT 2... n xian's example... i'm wondering.. wat nice thing can happen in a realtionship.. i was juz telling my mom.. i'm starting to hate guys.. so dun expect me to be attached not to say marriage... guys nowadays... (or shld i say guys ard me) 不是普通的难搞.... dun even noe wat we muz do then they satisfy.... i'm very sian... sian in everything... disappointed in a lot of things...