Today results are out... i did.. ermm.. average lor.. though of coz... still lower than my expectation... so abit disappointed... n hence, whole day not in a very gd mood lor... abit sian.... coz have not been doing well since yr 2.. going to be last sem liao... already got no strength to carry on... coz input never = to output.... ppl only c results.. only see grades.. not gd, they will start asking, 'how come so lousy?'.. 'u didnt study ar?'.. 'u slack izzit?' cant they see the process? how much time n effort ppl put into? grades... do they really indicate ur cabilities?? but wat to do.. we r in SG.. n SG require to look at GRADES!! wat they want is the outcome not the process.... i'm really really very tired le.. guess will not cont'd to further study liao...

then during lunch.. my mom n bro nagged me the whole day... i was so fed up... haiz... nv have peace sia... then my mom tell me sth... i was stunned... now i'm scare... really scare... dunno wat to do... i feel so lost... my mom said... daddy had been complaining tt his arms r numb. then tt day went c doc.. doc say mayb symptoms of stroke... so wanna him go for a brain scan... i noe nuts abt this.. wat i noe is tt my dad is not as energertic as b4.. but this is normal.. since age is catching up.. now i get to noe this.. i'm totally stunned!! wat m i doing?! i was always the most sensitive de... can noe wat's happening ard me.. but how come now like tt?? have i been not caring for my family for a long time? i dunno.. ah ting got ask me if i ok today mah.. i told her i'm fine.. coz i really dunnno how to explain to her abt my fear... my fear of losing my dad.. the one who will laugh, will bully me, will fight with me de... the one who will bring me ard.. telling me where got nice thing to eat.. the one who will bargain for me..

i feel so lonely suddenly... i dun wanna tell mommy.. coz she herself facing lotsa problems... n i dun wanna burden her with somemore.. n oso dun wanna scare her.. coz she is oso really afraid tt it's really stroke... it's juz tt she dun wanna say it out.. she told me... 'it's time u really have to grow up le'...

i'm so idiotic.. 当我家可能面对极大的考验时，我还只为了一个不懂得珍惜友谊的人而伤心。comparing them.. i'm stupid for being sad for such a small matter... haiz... no way i'm thinking abt any relationship.. no way thinking abt how come he become like tt or watsoever... now wat i'm going to do is to find ways to help my dad to prevent or delay the onset of stroke!