My life sucks big time! everything seems to go wrong.. work life, personal life, love life.. SUCKS

1. being scolded coz i say i dunno to PLC or contactor or watsoever... this is not my field, hw shld i noe?!? i'm NOT all rounder! i'm juz a normal human being with my strenght and weakness!!!!!

2. beind shoot for nth... was given instrcutions by boss that i shld communicate Technically with the customer directly.. nw he scolded me coz i replied the email... n better still he always blame ME n nt his staff nor the customers! it's only me who is in the wrong.... i cannot tahan... i ran into one of my worker's arms and cried out loud... y m i being scolded for sth i FOLLOWED instructions? n i searched for the BLACK and WHITE the whole day, juz to EXPLAIN myself.

Then, the very impt person in my life is so angry with me tt she dun wish to tok to me. n i dun even noe wat to do... coz anything will trigger the anger.. n it will make things worse...
anyway, it is me lah.... i'm juz plain to toopid... being a directionless creature.. no pt explaining as it is a fact.. n everyday at work... explaining is damn tiring... after work.. i still have to explain...
make matter worse... even my own bro oso need me to EXPLAIN MYSELF for 2 whole hrs!
y?? m i such a failure that the whole world need me to explain myself then they noe wat is happening or why i do this/that?

Mommy said tt ever since i went back work.. i've changed... i become more aggressive... and noe hw to protect myself le (which she feels is good).. i have been miss goody for so long (my mom always say i dunno hw to protect myself)... after being shoot so frequently... i become a porcupine.. i will retaliate if i feel threaten.. mommy say she understand coz my work environment, tt's y i become like tt... but she felt tt i have become from this extreme (extreme nice and temperless) to the other extreme (like a porcupine)... she asked me.. 'R U HAPPY?'
i didnt ans... but i wanted to say, I M NOT! i hate myself nw! i'm no longer the nice TYL tt is easy to get along with... i'm no longer the friendly TYL who is well like and well love by everyone.... i'm juz someone who everyone hates! i have more n more time being alone.. n i hate it! Mommy say i shld learn hw to strike a balance.. can protect myself.. n at the same time be friendly...

with all these happenings.. i realised tt i miss him like crazy.. hw i wish he is here... holding me tight.. telling me everything is juz a nightmare... hw i wish i can really cry my heart out in his arms... with him acting cute n silly juz to make me laugh... but no... this will never happen again... n i shld say luckily he is not here.. coz if he is here.. but have no time for me.. i think i will be sadder... well.. blessing in disguise...

haiz... 无奈，无助，无能为力.. my life is juz so F*** UP!

I had this weird dream:

I dream tt i drove a BENZ (ok... dun ask me hw come.. i oso wondering it myself), to a chalet @ dunno where. This place got chalet and condo de... this is supposingly a chalet with Jason, JX, Harris and gang... but i saw my pdtn workers toking to me.. telling me hw to go to the chalet.
(As i say.. this is a weird dream)

Then i parked my car at somewhere very far away from the stated chalet... and walked towards it.. then when i reach the place.. (it was up on a hill), i went to explore and see is there any possibility tt i can park my car near the chalet... as i walked out of the chalet.. there is this guy behind...

he is my BF in my dream.. he walked towards me and hugged me and asked me where i was going? and we held our hands walking ard to find the place for my car to park. Then i found out tt i can reach the chalet if i drove up a multi-storey carpark... i have no confidence in driving up.. so i asked 'HIM' if he wld acc me... and if i happened not to be able to drive.. he shld take over..

Then next sence... we were in the car... he was holding me the way i like guys hold me in REAL LIFE... then everything was blur blur.. i woke up...

I DIDNT GET TO SEE WHO IS THIS SUPPOSINGLY BF!! only noe he is quite tall and big.. (NOT FAT... is juz not those skinny type)...not wearing specs.... then dunno liao...

funny dream rite?? i was wondering m i so in need of a guy till like tt?!?!? wahahahhaa.... anyway, i shall go n sleep and see if i can get a clearer pic of this Boyfriend... :p

"hi, hope everything is fine for u. Dun reply me, coz i still not intend to have anything to do with u yet. I juz feel that it's unfair to u that i suddenly MIA since u did nth wrong. Sorry, but i really cant be the good fren u hoped for. so no contact is the best for both of us n the best thing i can give you the last time. Without me, mayb u'll be happier. Take Care."

Yes, it still hurts... but it shld be done. I'm choosing the 'should do, must do, have to do' path instead of the 'want to do' path... this is the 无奈 in life. Just let nature takes its course.. time heals....

BTW, a happy note....
ONLINE RADIO IS BACK!!!

Tiny changes to my blog... ok.. yx will say she allergy to pink... but this time round i did not purposely put pink de.. wahahaha... juz to suit my header de.. hehe

I've changed the song... u will find it familiar.. it is the same tune as the song 寂寞光年 - 刘力杨 the ending song for the channel 8 show 双子星...

Jade Liu changed the lyrics, and nw is a new song call 礼物. It is in her new album 转寄刘力扬

刘力扬 - 礼物
词：刘力扬 曲：80 time

终于可以在今天划上句点
一整夜 翻阅过去画面
想不起我们为何会诀别
只看到那双你送的鞋

走一步又一步
我才发现绕了个圈
走了好几年
又回到原点

你送的礼物 会不会太特别
毫不避讳 那不安的传言
但渐行渐远 习惯到没感觉
难道你早想要我走远

你送的礼物 在此刻好体贴
陪我回忆 把过往走一遍
穿了这些年 难免会有污点
就像每段爱 总会有终点

世上最残酷的 恐怕是时间
困住人 一切却还向前
干涸的眼 再挤不出一点咸
爱到如此可悲的境界

走一步又一步
却跟不上你的脚步
你满意了
为什么我却只想要哭

你送的礼物 会不会太特别
毫不避讳 那不安的传言
但渐行渐远 习惯到没感觉
难道你早想要我走远

你送的礼物 在此刻好体贴
陪我回忆 把过往走一遍
穿了这些年 难免会有污点
就像每段爱 总会有终点

你说做自己吧
我们都做回自己
不要再为爱受委屈

你送的礼物 原来是一场劫
夙命一样准确
可笑到想要 你赔给我时间
爱情有时廉价得可怜

光著脚我一路奔跑
鲜血泪水一路狂飙
收起我的骄傲
承认曾经备受煎熬

鞋上那记号
只有你能明了
过了这一夜
我就全忘掉

Damn.. feel like sleepin.... yes.. it is the middle of the day.. n i'm doing a report halfway... and am damn sleepy le..

anyway, juz to inform ppl who r out there worrying tt tyl might go into the way/direction or anything.. STOP worrying... wahahaa.. coz it WILL NEVER happen... y? coz it wun happen lah... coz it is not morally rite lor... :P



They are not my type of coffee nor tea nor dish... yes.. initially, it was quite interesting to noe them.. coz they are like big bros, looking out for u... n better still.. no need to worry abt them.. they will worry abt u.. (GOOD thing abt older guys)... hahaha



But, they are soooo uncle, so no fun... soooo erm... *boring*.... ahahah... not funny... at times really damn bored sia.. hhahaha.. n quite sian lah.. so no worries... :) plus i dun feel the sincerity of being frens.. i dunno leh.. it is a total different feeling from OFM and CP... tt 2.. i can really feel tt they sincerely wanna be frens... but these few... i dun have the feeling.. i always feel there is a motive.. so i dun treat them very well actually... as compared to OFM they all.. hahaha



wahahahahahaa....

Got this from a fren's blog... it is very meaningful... one or more applies to u.... they are frm famous authors or ppl ard the world....

1。莎士比亚说:
再好的东西都有失去的一天。
再深的记忆也有淡忘的一天。
再爱的人，也有远走的一天。
再美的梦也有苏醒的一天。
该放弃的决不挽留。
该珍惜的决不放手。
分手后不可以做朋友，因为彼此伤害过！
也不可以做敌人，因为彼此深爱过

2。几米说:
当你喜欢我的时候，我不喜欢你,
当你爱上我的时候，我喜欢上你,
当你离开我的时候，我却爱上你,
是你走得太快，还是我跟不上你的脚步,
我们错过了诺亚方舟,错过了泰坦尼克号,错过了一切的惊险与不惊险,
我们还要继续错过.
我不了解我的寂寞来自何方，但我真的感到寂寞。
你也寂寞，世界上每个人都寂寞，只是大家的寂寞都不同吧。

3。刘心武说:
不要指望，麻雀会飞得很高。
高处的天空，那是鹰的领地。
麻雀如果摆正了自己的位置，它照样会过得很幸福！

4。亦舒说:
人们日常所犯最大的错误，是对陌生人太客气，而对亲密的人太苛刻，把这个坏习惯改过来，天下太平。

5。郭敬明说:
我终于发现自己看人的眼光太过简单,我从来没有去想面具下面是一张怎样的面容,
我总是直接把面具当做面孔来对待,却忘记了笑脸面具下往往都是一张流着泪的脸.

6。刘心武说:
对不起是一种真诚，没关系是一种风度。
如果你付出了真诚，却得不到风度，那只能说明对方的无知与粗俗！

7。韩寒说:
再累再苦就当自己是二百五再难再险就当自己是二皮脸

8。安妮宝贝说:
当一个女子在看天空的时候，她并不想寻找什么。她只是寂寞。

9。遇见平凡说:
缘分像一本书。翻的不经意会错过童话; 读得太认真又会流干眼泪.

10。张小娴说:
爱，从来就是一件千回百转的事。
不曾被离弃，不曾受伤害，怎懂得爱人？

11。亦舒说:
无论怎么样，一个人借故堕落总是不值得原谅的； 越是没有人爱，越要爱自己。

12。刘心武说:
与其讨好别人，不如武装自己；
与其逃避现实，不如笑对人生
与其听风听雨，不如昂首出击！

13。张爱玲说:
娶了红玫瑰，久而久之，红玫瑰就变成了墙上的一抹蚊子血，
白玫瑰还是“床前明月光”；
娶了白玫瑰，白玫瑰就是衣服上的一粒饭渣子，
红的还是心口上的一颗朱砂痣。

14。三毛说:
一个朋友很好，两个朋友就多了一点，三个朋友就未免太多了。
知音，能有一个已经很好了，不必太多，
如果实在没有，还有自己，好好对待自己，跟自己相处，也是一个朋友…

15。雪小禅说:
我以为终有一天，我会彻底将爱情忘记，将你忘记。
可是，忽然有一天，我听到了一首旧歌，我的眼泪就下来了，
因为这首歌，我们一起听过。

16。郭敖说:
我们始终都在练习微笑，终于变成不敢哭的人。

17。三毛说:
不要害怕拒绝他人，如果自己的理由出于正当。
当一个人开口提出要求的时候，他的心里根本预备好了两种答案。
所以，给他任何一个其中的答案，都是意料中的。

18。梓色心晴说:
男人哭了，是因为他真的爱了~
女人哭了，是因为她真得放弃了。

19。玄漪说:
能够说出的委屈，便不算委屈；
能够抢走的爱人，便不算爱人。

20。张爱玲说:
爱情本来并不复杂，来来去去不过三个字，
不是“我爱你”、“我恨你”，便是“算了吧”、“你好吗”、“对不起”。

21。马云说:
晚上想想千条路,早上醒来走原路。

22。饶雪漫说:
这个世界欺骗了我，我必须给与还击，
我不会放掉任何一丁点儿属于我的幸福，
哪怕付出的代价是从此坠入地狱，我也在所不惜。

23。郭敖说:
每个人一生之中心里总会藏着一个人，
也许这个人永远都不会知道，尽管如此，
这个人始终都无法被谁所替代。
而那个人就像一个永远无法愈合的伤疤，
无论在什么时候，
只要被提起，或者轻轻的一碰，就会隐隐作痛。

24。GARVEN说:
话是人说的，屁也是人放的，
说话和放屁一样，都是一口气而已。

25。三毛说:
某些人的爱情，只是一种“当时的情绪”。
如果对方错将这份情绪当做“长远的爱情”，是本身的幼稚。

26。张小娴说:
如果没法忘记他，就不要忘记好了。
真正的忘记，是不需要努力的。

27。人非草木说:
再丑的人也能结婚，再美的人也会单身！

28。张爱玲说:
因为爱过，所以慈悲；
因为懂得，所以宽容。

Does anyone of the sayings trigger ur memories? or emotions? or agreement?
Well... they did, for me.. :)

I'm juz soooo excited.... hehe.. helping to think of names for hx baby liao leh... hhehee... baby due in January wo... Hx, u muz remember... for baby sake and ur sake.. u muz keep a happy and relax mindset wo....
Think most prob is girl wo.... n we r deciding on the following names.... let's vote!!! hehehe

1. Iris - Colorful, Rainbow (dervied from Greek, ancient symbol of powder, dedicated to God Juno)
2. Abbie - Joy of the Father (English)
3. Felicis - Latin word for Happy, Lucky, Fortunate
4. Kelis - Beautiful (American)

which is nice???

Other than the preious few in my life, i have one VERY IMPT person. she is definitely NOT perfect, and she can make u scream and pull ur hair and be angry at her... yet, u cant live without her!!

She is lazy, pure lazy that she would rather sleep than acc u have KTV, or BFAST or LUNCH or SUPPER, BUT when she noes tt u r really craving for it.. she die die oso acc u.. (provided she in good mood lah)

She is crazy,,,, she can be acting silly with u, laughing happily at one moment.. next moment.. she will scold u for being so silly...

She is a critic! she can condemn u till u upside down, she can be so straight fwd tt u would be hurt by her words, she is someone who wish u to be the perfect person in her mind. she wanna u to live her way and live up to her expectations.... YET, deep down, u noe she accepts u as who u r... juz tt at times she wanna remind u to be careful.. dun get hurt... (but sometimes, b4 i get hurt.. she hurt me already.. aiyo... hahaa)

She is such a bimbo!! her actions, her way of toking, her knowledge... will make u wonder.. hw come she can study for degree with almost 1st class honours... she made u cry and laugh at the same time. DUN ever test her chinese! u will vomit blood! go shopping with her.. u will go crazy if u r not trained b4.. yet without her, ur life is a bore...

She makes no sense!! she is random and lame and can come up with actions and theories a NORMAL human being cant think of de.. n her weird stuff may make u laugh till u cry!!! this always make my day.. n i muz say, i'm PROUD to intro her to everyone ard me.. coz she bring laughter to everyone!!! (ok.. she will complain.. she say 'my mommy dun give birth to me as an entertainer de ok')

She very no respect... she dun give u a damn if u r the mighty god or the teacher or the lecture or the wise old man.. if she think tt there is no logic or not realistic... be prepared to shoot by her... she wun give face de... This is her...

She is a damn lousy cooker... and yet loves to offer to cook for ppl...

i'm attention seeker, she is attention attracter... so sometimes i really wanna strangle her of attracting all the attention... BUT, then again... it is ok lah... coz sometimes she attract the WRONG guys.. which i really glad tt i dun.. wahahahahaa...

see.. everyone has flaws... even her.. she is not perfect, she is damn irritating... but i juz cant live without her.. she missed me when i dun come home early reguarly (she uses suaning to bring this msg across to me), she really cares... though she dun show... she is actually sensitive de wo.. (she acted like she is nt... ) she really needs someone to tok with (SHE WILL NEVER ADMIT IT), she is also has a fragile heart.. she needs ppl's support for her to carry on with her damn irritating sch life... she is not as strong as wat everyone sees to be..

she loves u, so she have very high expectation for u... so when u cant do it.. she will condemn u.. but then she still accepts u as who u r...

so this is her.. MY BELOVED SISTER!! TYX.. Tan Yan Xin!! haha... i cant imagine my life without her! n i'm s0 proud to intro her as my sis to everyone... (though she loves overtaking.. wahahaha..)

i'm REALLY REALLY afraid to lose her.. tt was my most terrible nightmare in my younger days...

I went to buy my watch... hehe Titus watch!! hehe.. yes, using the money my darlings gave me de.. so can say is my late bdae present...
THANK YOU - Ms Wong YT, Mr Darren Peng YH, Mr Hong JM, Ms Hoon HH, Ms Cheryl Wee SH, erm... Ms Tan YX... r u involved?? hahaha... THANK YOU OSO lah.. coz u contributed 1st mah... hehehee MUACKz.. hehee

It is rose gold wo... hahhahaha

一封寄不出去的信

XXX,

结果，我们还是走到了这一步。想起来，好像一切是注定的。

还记得吗? 我曾和你说我有个不祥的预感∶我即将失去你，因为你离我越来越远。

你叫我别想太多，你不是好好的坐在我身边吗？当时的我觉得好感动、好幸福。因为有你，所以就忽略了在心里最深处的呐喊。

心底很清楚地感受到这一切都是个梦，很快就会消失，但我却宁愿沉浸在你给的甜美时光里，也不愿去面对心底的呼喊∶我即将走入一个深渊，一个会让我痛苦的深渊。我放纵自己，让自己去享受你所给的一切，我以为当你离开时我会很快就淡忘一切，我以为我能潇洒的放下。

我太高估我自己了，还是太低估了我对你的感情？我自己也不知道，只知道我想逃，不想在这里打转。 好累。

我已做了决定。三年前是你选择离开、选择逃避。三年后，是我选择离开。

说不会心痛是骗人的。我的心比什么都还要痛。看见你送我的熊，眼泪会不由自主地掉下来。经过曾和你走过的路、看过的事物、做过的事都会让我勾起那些回忆。我一直都在和不一样的人去同样的地方、做同样的事，为了就是要制造新的回忆。但都不能。

说不想你是骗人的。无时无刻你的笑容、温柔、可爱表情、幼稚的举动都会出现在我脑海里。想要有人陪伴、有人给与温柔的拥抱时更加想你。所以，我一工作来麻痹自己。让我自己忙就不会有空闲的时间想你。

虽然还会担心你；怕你有心事不说、怕你累坏身子、怕你吃不好睡不好。但我想我的担心是多余的。你现在也许很幸福。

我很累。真得好累。不明不白的关系托了这么多年，是时候有个了结。我选择放弃、离开。既然你不能给我爱情，我也给不了你友情，我们就走到这里。其实这决定不只害我失去一位我最在乎的人、也害你失去一位好友。真是抱歉。
不过还是要谢谢你曾在我生命中留下美好的回忆。心还是会痛，但长痛不如短痛。再托下去我会更加遍体鳞伤。

也许我会用一段很长的时间把你淡忘、也许我一辈子都忘不了你。以后的事，谁能预料？只能说，也许很久很久以后再见到你，能若无其事的和你打声招呼也不一定。

祝福你，
曾经的好友

if u realised tt my font size is bigger. yes.. no worries... nt ur screen prob... u didnt see wrongly.. i've changed it!

COZ I GOT A BROTHER ( A BLOOD BROTHER WITH SAME MOTHER AND FATHER AND SISTER), by the name of Mr. BEN TAN YONG WEI, age 25 yet with a mentality, hearing and sighting condition of a 70 year old man complained tt my blog is soooooo complicated and the wordings are so small tt everytime he reads it, he feel like bashing me up! SO TO SATISFY HIM, i increased the font size!!! and when i'm free, i'll make it OLD MAN PROOF!

btw, this is my blog.. i think i can write watever i want rite?

to the selected few: msn me to get the full story. If u r still wondering if u are the selected one? reassure.. u r not..

Have u ever encounter this kind of scenerio?

Early in the morning 0930, ur hp rang (u normally off ur hp when u r asleep, ONLY on it when u awake, so u WERE REALLY wondering y n how come ur hp will ring! and plus u slept at 0430 juz nw, so u can imagine the ring of hp WAS definitely NOT a WELCOMING sound). U picked up the call.
While you were still blur blur, the other party gave u the shocked of ur life! this happened to me THIS MORNING...

"U r still SLEEPING?!"
"Yah..." Hello!? it is 0930! n it is a SAT morning, of coz i'm still in bed!
"I'm waiting for u at the swimming pool nw, n u r still in bed?!" the caller shouted

WAIT!? since when i promised to wake up early for a morning swim? NO, i didnt promise! i didnt say yes! i was sure! but y is the caller there n INSISTED tt I had agreed!?!?

"Huh? I got say i going meh? no ar.. i didnt promise..."

I was scratching my head.. n trying to wake tt mind up and rake all the events tt had happened the past few days... I WAS SURE i didnt say i going....

"Yes, u did! nw hw!? u r leaving me here? u fly me aeroplane!" Yes, the caller sounded pissed

Inward, I groaned! TRYING damn hard to remember DID I EVER SAY tt i going swimming?!! n My body really do not have the strenght to get up....

"when did i fly aeroplane? i didnt promise u!!" OH DEAR! help me! i wanna sleep somemore!!!
"YES! YES!! I WANT u to come out nw!!!!" if this caller is any other body... i think i wld juz hang up n go back to sleep... but tt is my PRECIOUS FEW!

I dragged myself out of bed.. mentally thinking where did i put my swimming costume.. and hw can i pack my stuff using the fastest way... n wondering did i say YES in my dreams!? n trying to reason out with the caller that i DIDNT agree to go swimming...

Yes, i was thinking of going out liao... of coz, not tt i admit tt i had agreed to go swimming and had forgotten.. is coz tt caller is the PRECIOUS FEW...

Then... wait.. i heard tt behind the shouting, there was a smile... a laughter... THIS CUTE CALLER OF MINE, called me early in the morning at 0930 after her swim, to wake me up and gimme a scare of my life and then smile and say
"It is a nice sat morning! u shldnt be sleeping! u muz wake up!"
"aiyo, i slept at 0430. Please leh.. let me sleep can?"
"who tell u to sleep at 0430?"
"I normally off my hp, hw come it is on today? and u can reach me?!"
"HAHAHAHAA.. it is FATED! WAKE UP!!!"
"my da xiao jie, i really slept at 0430!"
"i dun care, i woke up so early... so u oso have to wake up!!!"

I groaned again.. n she laughed... and say 'i missed u leh, so call u lor'
GOD KNOWS THE TRUTH!!

Oh god! i never on my hp till i wake up! n i think i juz accidentally on it b4 i slept today... this happened! really fated sia...
Supposingly i shld be in a bad mood and gonna curse n swear.. haiz... but i think i owe this person in my past life sia.. i wasnt abit pissed, and even acc to chat till she reached home. n the details? i dun really remember... coz i was still in dazed!!!!

yes, this person woke me up... end up, at 0930 i was online and playing FB!! my sis woke up and asked me.. "did u even sleep?"
HAIZ!!! u noe my reasons!

YES, this is the precious few that u will spend ur time with.. rot ur time away with, and u enjoy the company. This is the precious few tt u noe hw tired u r, or hw bz u r, u will oso make the effort to meet each other (esp when u all haven meet each other for sometime); be it juz a 30min dinner plus a short walk frm cwp to my tuition kid hse, or a long lazy afternoon. this is the precious few who noe ur whole family inside out, and can share ur woes. This is the precious few who can laugh at ur joke of the day/year, suan u like no tml, listen to all ur complains abt work, or simply to bitch ard and cry with u when u r hurting. This is the precious few tt u noe, even if they say they r not gonna meet u, does not love u, tell u to stop zi zuo duo qing or angry with u or say tt his/her dog is more impt, they will always be there when u need them... this is the precious few tt will hit u and scold u and remind u if u happen to go towards the wrong direction... this is the precious few tt will acc u, when the whole world is attached and living in their own world....

so wat if this precious few is attached!? wahahaha.. dunno leh.. we'll see when the time comes.. hehehee

Side line: This cute caller of mine, happily tell me tt she is going to take her LONG awaited afternoon nap at 1400 and thanks to her, i cant sleep as i'm meeting a fren at 1500 so i need to go out at 1400!!

NW IS 0400 AGAIN! and i make sure my hp is OFF this time round.. YEP! it is off! n dun try calling my hse, my room dun have phone anymore.. hehe...

Thanks to Ivan, i got a webby of dream decoder @ http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdictionarysearch.pl?method=exact&header=dreamsymbol&search=snake!! hahaa

Snake

To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you. Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced. Alternatively, the snake may be seen as phallic and thus symbolize temptation, dangerous and forbidden sexuality. If you are afraid of the snake, then it signifies your fears of sex, intimacy or commitment. The snake may also refer to a person around you who is callous, ruthless, and can't be trusted. As a positive symbol, snakes represent healing, transformation, knowledge and wisdom. It is indicative of self-renewal and positive changes.�
To see the skin of a snake in your dream, represents protection from illnesses.
To dream that you are eating a live snake, indicates that you are looking for intimacy or sexual fulfillment. Your life is lacking sensuality and passion. If you vomit or throw up the snake, then it may mean that you are overcompensating for something that is lacking in your life. You may be rushing into something.

Hmmm.. conclusion: People ard me ARE callous, ruthless and cant be trusted... coz alot snakes ard me...then one big white snake squased to death means tt one of them will be removed frm my life?!

Scary rite?! WHO CAN I TRUST? poor me.. i shall be low profile nw... n only stick to my beloved yt and ivan.. wahahahaha

suddenly got the 'spend $$' feeling... so went to buy a new card tag for office access card, a new hp pouch and accessory for my hp! As those who noe me shld noe, I'm A VICTIM of cute stuffs... well.. my beloved bro seems to 4got abt it... i bought all these ALL BY MYSELF!




Asmine went China, she cant find anything to buy.. but saw alot of doraemon.. so end up getting these for me... cute lor... wahaha...



I had a werid dream previous night.. i dreamed tt i was in a room with A LOT of snakes haning down frm the ceiling.. once u walked past.. can feel it sliding ard ur shoulders/back.. *shivers*....
then suddenly saw a white snake on the floor.. being 'squashed' to death by a door.. bloody image.. "shivers*... i noe dreamed of snakes is actually quite good... however, my dream so weird... wonder wat it mean... any dream decoder?? hahahahaa

ok.. this sounds stupid... but i've lost everything in my hp!!! y?? story goes like this:

I realised tt my media player cant read the memory in my memory card and can view photos frm my camera album. I was wondering wat happen for abt 1 week.. then i decided to use media manger to sync my hp with comp... but still it cant work... so finally i decided maybe is the software out of date... so i downloaded the software... to update my hp...

but i 4got one most impt thing... coz i cant sync my hp with comp... i 4got abt the stuff in my phone memory... so end up i didnt back up!!! n GONE, the whole list of phone numbers which took me 3 days to organise.. so frens/suppliers whom i met/saved ur number after i bought my this new C905, which is after Apr 2009, ur numbers are gone... so if u all are kind enough sms me using ur number...

then ALL the sms i DID NOT delete for memory purposes are gone! all memory GONE! i told yp... she say she gonna celebrate. y? coz she told me it's time to start afresh... 4got abt watever had happen... all memory gone is good.. at least i wun go back thinking wat had happen.. n hw sweet things were last time..

yes.. myhp is nw as good as new... with new software... limited phone numbers, and zero sms... mayb it is an indication...start afresh... can i do it?! y do i still feel the pain? i tot i'm numb.... haiz...

anyway, XH!! i'm really counting down liao.... mayb cant go overseas.. coz seems like no one got time to go... but we def WILL do sth!!! hahahaa

"The Biggest Loser" is now on... n the 2 contestants are juz to slackers who cant resist food. Bring chocolate cakes, mooncakes to any of them... see if theey will tell u they are on diet... wait... they will say they r on diet... BUT will still eat...

bring them to any Zhi Char... order crabs and stuff they like... you will see them eating happily... hahhaa... both of them have the voting system... and seems like yx is leading on the score board... y izzit so? coz her frens r loyal to her... BLINDLY... hahaha.... i have a few feedbacks frm her frens.. :
1. she sure will not lose so much weigh.. but as a fren we still vote for her
2. aiyah.. vote for her, let her happy
3. aiyo..i press wrongly lah

erm... so u noe hw she got all the votes?
anyway, i'm starting the betting system.. who is interested?
the rates for both of them are as below:
1. Yt - 1:5 (i decided not to be evil to put 1:10... hahaa)
2. Yx - 1:2 (this is base on the votes online)

Well... being the closest person to them... i cant take sides nor vote... so... i take bets!! hahhahaa

oh ya... another insider news.. one of yt's vote is yx's beloved bro vote de... Y IS THIS SO?! coz yx bro always side his sis.. so when he saw the title 'Who is the biggest loser?' he straight away click on yt... coz his beloved sister CAN NEVER be a loser!! hahahaha...

Enough of the updates... pls choose wisely.. n place ur bets...
Contact me for the bets... and will give the latest update on the voting results.
Voting will end in 88 days.

Damn irritated! Y I dun seems to have sth nice and happy happening recently!?!?

I got a news frm tt boss who is not my direct boss... he told me, my baby is not not selling. N need to change. so held a meeting to discuss wat shld be changed! he said ppl didnt noe tt we r selling white coffee. I DIDNT SELL IT AS WHITE COFFEE IN THE FIRST PLACE!

then half hr earlier, he commented tt for us R&D ppl, shld think out of the box. dun wanna a 'me too' product. Dun follow the crowd. Half hr later, he told me tt my baby is so different with the white coffee in the market. THE TASTE PROFILE WAS DIFFERENT WAT!!! hw to sell it as white coffee!?!?!?

From the start, they wanted a product that is no longer the 'uncle and auntie' style. i did it... nw they told me it is not selling, coz no one noe it is white coffee and uncles aunties dunno wat is Double Shot! Come on! at 1st he blamed us for not focusing on the targeted grp of the pdt. but who is the one NOT focusing!!? i wanna target young and executive RIGHT FROM THE START!!!!!!! nw coz a few commenting that we r not selling white coffee, they wanna change the pdt to white coffee and sell!!! wat sales not good...

Did they noe tt they actually nearly kill it when it 1st launch!? they happily change the raw mat. when it juz lauched and when i wasnt ard, the tatse went off!!! when i came back, i insisted in using back the original raw mat... then it is slowly moving up, they tell me sales not good.. so need a plastic surgery!!!

Say wat, R&D have a say... i say liao.. end up!? still do wat u all think is right! anyone consider hw i feel!? tt is my baby!!! a baby i spent a year formulating FROM scratch... n they AGREED ON THE DESIGN!! ok.. i agree that the pdt name shld not be at the bottom.. BUT IT IS A NEW STYLE WAT!?!?

They wanna change, let them change! i nt gonna care! next time they tell me to position my pdt, i shall tell them, they will change anyway... so they decide!

Anyway, ppl tell me... my DOUBLE SHOT... comment on the design... I WANNA THE TRUTH! no need care if i'm hurting anymore... coz i numb le!

wah... life is crazy recently. with the shifting of factory almost can drain me... i have been working OTs plus my weekends burned juz to go back to new office, then this long weekend, i have been waking up at 8sth to go office till i 错乱.. even asked my mom wat day is today when she woke me up... haiz.... wat to do?? i chose to come back coz of the shifting... so have to accept it lor...

due to the stress and the anger and the tireness... i have no appitite!!! i cant finish my lunches and didnt have my dinners! (stop asking if i slimmed down... i didnt.. hahaha... 20 over yrs de hard work is nt fake one.. 不是说减掉就减掉的！！) hahaha..

yes, my boss went crazy... n anyhw shout at me, blaming me this blaming me tt... scolding me this, scolding me tt... it was a mental torture for the whole week!! no one will understand hw i REALLY feel till u REALLY in the situtation urself... and of coz... those who r working with him will understand too... n guess wat... i got 'nice' colleagues who LOVE to allow me to tok to my boss coz she is afraid of getting scolded.... damn it rite?! toopid lor... n her fault become my fault!!!!! i scolded her for a few times liao... but it is NOT enough to compensate the mental torture i got for the week!!!!

finally i cannot tahan on fri, esp when he shouted at me across the office! i shouted back... but as usual... tyl cannot get angry without crying... so i cried... n ran off to my office...

then i was quite glad coz i got REALLY lovely colleagues at the same time... yan yan came down n acc me... and tok to me... then my china guys actually tried to console me... esp mr xue.. he was juz like a big bro... then mr kelvis wasnt there when the incident happened... but when he heard.. he came down to my office to find me too... yan yan was telling me jokingly... wah... though no cp and ofm console u.... still have her... haha... actually... got kelvis and yan yan in the office is the only consolation... I LOVE THEM!! hehee...

then another china guy, mr min... he tok to me over the net.. coz he was at the old site.. didnt noe wat happen... juz heard frm others... but he too... like a big bro... coaxing me.. hahaha.. suddenly i got big bros wo!! hahaha

yes.. my boss after tt tried toking to me... (when he feels happy lah...) i juz answered him necessarily... other than tt.. i juz went off... i told darren... i think i've shield everyone frm all the scolding frm him for the week le lor...

SG is a small small place...

guess who i met juz nw when i went out for steamboat dinner at bugis with yan, jimmy, irene and kelvin?!
yes, it is tt DESMOND who had disappeared completely in my life...
i saw him when he was queuing up to go up the escalator. i saw him then, but decided nt to call him.
However, 人算不如天算, i was being pushed (bugis at tt time was very crowded)... end up i went up on the escalator at the same time...

i was still considering to call him anot... but then end up.. being polite.. i tapped him.. he turned n look at me.. he stunned...

Desmond: eh..
TYL: ....
Desmond: heheh.. how come u r here?
TYL: y cant i be here?
Desmond: (laugh... those very PS laugh... like when i caught him red handed tt kind of laugh)
TYL: (took out hp and call)
Desmond: laugh...
TYL: y r u laughing?
Desmond: nth (passing uneasy signals)
TYL: ... (tok on phone... asking where yan was)
Desmond: ....
TYL: i go le.. see ya.. bye
Desmond: bye...

2-3 mins the most..damn weird.. for those who were curious.. he was alone...
y do we have to become like tt?!?! i dunno.. i only noe... i dunno hw to treat it as nth happen anymore...
n i think.. i'm starting to hate him... (or nt?)... SIANZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!

00:00 31st Aug 2009, Msia National day..
at this pt of time, there were fireworks opp my blk.. yes... a whole stretch of fire works... but either due to the economic downturn or due to the fasting mth for Muslims... it wasnt as 'crowded' as past years... 'crowded' means the a lot of fireworks...

anyway, life have been quite bz with my daily routine... Work, then tuition then sleep then work again, then tuition then sleep then work again.... goes on and on and on till fri... the only difference is tt i have taking cabs home after tuition... hahaa.. sianz.. my $$ have gone to cabby's rental fees... anyway, y did i take cabs nw?

1. I'm damn tired... lazy a) to walk to interchange and b) to take bus to interchange then change to my bus again

2. last time, on my way back... i can chat on phone or gossip/bitch till i reached home... but nw... my phone kakis either sleep early, or too bz with sch work or out for fun... so dun wanna disturb them... the only phone kaki tt can chat with me till wee hrs, had disappear completely frm my life...

3. shorten the time of being alone, can shorten the time for my mind to run wild.. then i can throw myself at my lappy then play till i dozed off... meaning i can spare my mind frm thinking of those 有的没的...

on thurs and fri, i went to attend a ISO 22000 internal auditor course... n got noe to a few different ppl... i was being arranged to be sitted in between 2 BIG guys... i mean big hor.. like lcm like tt (minus tt big round tummy.. oops... sorry... i mean.. aiyah.. u all imagine lah... ) they are chefs.. but nw come out n open a factory on their own.. supplying fresh veges/salad to food chains like subway.. n when they told me tt.. i stared.. they dun look like vege guys.. they looked like buchter.. ahaha.. ok.. cannot be so bad.. they are nice friendly giants... hehe.. to my surprise.. they were actually looking at buying our this sold factory.. but they told me the price was too high.. so end up didnt buy... then their consultant is same as mine.. small world rite? hahahaa

then noe another guy, a young boy frm msia (i only noe tt he is younger than me after 2nd day), he is a manger in subway chain... he is someone full of ideas and ambition... guess wat.. he paid for himself to go for this course (his coy nt sponsoring him... the course fees cost over $700 even after rebate frm govt for coy who send employees for courses)... he told me.. he shld upgrade himself... learn more things... so even gotta pay for himself.. he oso dun mind... he oso cant find job after grad (yep, he juz grad frm local uni), then working temp as manager in one of the subway chain.. aiming to go into his field of study, or HQ of subway to become auditior... amazing sia.... he is 3 yrs younger than me lor..

then a girl frm Mymmar who is comfortable speaking in Mandarin and her own language.. but understands english... she studied law in Mymmar but work as admin and qc in SG SME... yet she dun mind.. she say lawyer is a very stressful job...

then an uncle, who is expert in almost all the certifications... he is my idol sia... he like soooo familiar with audits... can tackle auditors easliy and noe a lot of procedures at the back of his hand... (we have role play and workshops)..

Now i slowly like to go for courses alone le... coz i get to know sooo many different kinds of ppl... and different ways of thinking... interesting lor...

ok... upcoming week will be a SUPER DUPER BZ week for me.. coz y? XIN JIE's wedding and my coy 7th mth praying session is on the same day.. FRI!!! so need to help in preparations at office (for 7th mth) and at home (for xin jie wedding)... *excited* hehheheee oh ya.. n oso need to pack my stuff liao.. gonna shift!!!!