Have i grown up? i'm wondering.... wat do i exactly want in life? wat m i doing here? i hate growing up.. i hate all the problems i'm facing nw.. i hate everything!!



i'm 26 this yr (the whole world is reminding me) and i have no goal in life? wat do i wanna do? wat is my goal? WAT I EXACTLY WANT? y m i hovering here n there? m i leading an aimless life? do i even noe wat am i doing? do i didnt put in enough effort to look for a job? do i have to send resume to no interest, no link jobs then consider put in effort? m i staying in my comfort zone?

ppl dun wanna reply my application, ppl rej my application, ppl dun even gimme a chance to go interview... is it due to me nt trying hard enough? hw then we consider try hard enough?

y? y do we have so many things to think? as we grow older,.. there are more things for us to think ver it.. more problems for u to solve... n i hate it!!! y cant i juz lead the life i want? but then again.... wat kind of life do i want?? WAT DO I WANT!!!!?????????

argghhhhhhh.. I HATE MAKING DeCiSIONS!! esp big ones that will affect ur future!! haiz... sianz!!!!!

“有的人说不清哪里好，就是谁也替代不了”
很熟悉吧，这就是张绍涵的《遗失的美好》的最后一句歌词。

这句话写得好贴切。不管是谁，只要是人，心里都会有一位什么人都无法替代的人。不管怎样就是忘不了那人。身边就有人遇到这难题 - 他们心里都有一位忘不了的人，可是他们认为走不出来是自找的，是一种自甘堕落的行为，所以就拼命地和别人出去、尝试去接受别人。但最后才发现忘不了那个人，也没办法接受别人，结果就活在痛苦之中。

其实，有没有想过∶越是想忘记；就越忘不掉。为什么呢？试想想，当你想忘记，就无时无刻地提醒自己去忘记，但你其实是在无时无刻地提醒自己记得要忘记。每一次的提醒，回忆就会在脑海里重现，这样要怎样忘记？删掉存有回忆的信息、删掉与他甜蜜、快乐的合照、丢掉一切和他有关的东西、拒绝听到和他有关的消息、不去曾经与他去过的地方，就能忘得掉吗？

这时，你就会开始恨那个给你回忆的人。为什么？为什么他要给你很美好又难忘的回忆后离开？我曾经每时每刻都在问这个问题，那时候的我希望我是一台电脑，可以按'DELETE'，什么都能被删掉了。那不是很好？还是我们的脑可以象电脑一样reformat，回到原点不是很很好吗？

可是就有人跟我说过∶人脑之所以特别，就在于它有独家记忆；人生之所以精彩，就在于它有独有的回忆。不管回忆是开心的、伤心的、愤怒的、痛苦的、甜蜜的、辛酸的都会给人生一点色彩。这样你才算是活得多姿多彩。

当时，活在痛苦之中的我，只想忘记，什么都听不进去。不过，后来想想，朋友说地不是没有道理，至少，我没活得苦闷乏味。我的人生不是毫无色彩的。这样的想法给在痛苦的人看，一定会不以为然， 就象以前的我。因为叫你想，你会很痛苦；叫你别想，你做不到。这种矛盾价值就是很讨人厌。所以就顺其自然吧。

我很庆幸我在伤心、难过时能大哭一场，也能把我不开心的事一切说出来。因为，这样我才不至于那么痛苦，哭是一种发泄。真正痛苦的人是伤心难过却哭不出来，也不懂得如何把心事说出来。周围就有好几个这样的朋友，哭不出来也说不出来。朋友们，去找出能让你发泄的方法，不要让自己活在痛苦深渊。

朋友们，不要刻意去逼自己忘记。人都是一样的，不想记得，却又舍不得忘记 （我自己出的名言=)）。顺其自然吧，虽然过程很会很痛、也会很伤心，但当你不要刻意去忘记时，你很快就会发现，想起那些回忆时，你会慧心一笑。那给你回忆的人的脸孔也会变得模糊不清了，那时候也许你会花时间去想那人长得什么样也说不定。

那些想忘却忘不了的人们！加油！！我们要一起勇敢的把我们的生命注入更多色彩！

Ok.. i'm updating regularly... hahaa...

today then i realised tt Sherlina has 2 teeth on top and 2 teeth below... SOOOO CUTE LAH!!! and guess wat... in her eyes i dun look like aunty lor... coz she call me "jie jie"... wahahaha...
see.. i looked tooo young to be called aunty lah...hahaa... kids dun lie... wahaha...

then hor... i say 'bao bao', she gave me her pillows... i nearly fainted.. wahaha.. then i gave her the wanna carry her de gesture... guess wat... SHE ALLOWS ME TO CARRY HER LOR!!!!
Ivan, read carefully.. this time round, she wasnt on the sofa wanting to get out.. she was in her mommy's arm lor... wahahahaa

Ivan muz be jumping up n down lor... heheee I LOVE SHERLINA!! hahaaa

Haha... okok... i noe i didnt update.... coz i too lazy... these 2 days are tooo FULL of events... was exciting yet tiring.. cool lor...



13th Feb 2009

I went over to Irene's place... coz irene is getting married on the 14th!!! hahaa... we stayed over. helped out with things for the BIG day... and oso to prepare 'stuff' to 'torture' Jimmy on the next day... slept at 2plus... but was chatting with yan till 3plus... after yan slept.. i cant sleep (dunnO y oso)... until 4am then sleep.... but 4.40am irene's alarm sounded... TIME TO GET UP!!! hahaa...

make up artist coming at 5.30am lor... we all woke up feeling blur blur... hahaa

14th Feb 2009

we were slacking till 6 while irene was doing her make up... then till 7 am then we realised tt JIMMY had went out! hahaha.. we helped irene changed to her gown (cheryl did lah.... hahhaa, we juz see see look look), we changed... n prepare to 'Welcome' Jimmy... hahaaa...


then when he reached.. n COMMENDED to open the door for him... i smiled and made him write down 10 promises to Irene.. tt idiot... wrote it with so many mistakes... and even alot of crap lah....

then we made him tie a handmade cute bow tie, take a photo, then after he gonna search for the keys to the door... coz....we froze the keys in blocks of ice... with 2 wrong keys and 1 right key... and the correct key is hidden in between the 12th and 13th storey.. hahaa and tt toopid jimmy cant find it...

when he came in... after giving us ang bao.. he was being forced to stayed outside the room and sing song for irene b4 he can go in and get his wife... hehee

We went to ard... taking pics and oso to jimmy hse then back to irene hse... helping irene to change then oso bring alot of things to and fro,,,, after tt had buffet lunch at irene place.. rot awhile...

Went back home at ard 6... rot and bathe till abt 8 sth went over to WY de hse... xh and wy and i stayed over at wy hse... (and relax.. this time round was girl's event... so relax everyone haha) we have been rotting tgt lor.... mayb coz i no work, wy no sch... xh is free... i think most of the time the 3 of us are out tgt de lor... xh's going back soon le.... gonna miss her.... coz she will only be back in more than 1 yr's time...

i concussed at wy hse at 2am lor... coz didnt sleep the previous night, somemore whole day bz... too tired to gossip anymore.. i slept... till 9plus the next morning

15th Feb 2009

woke up le.... xh say she going for her appt... then we sent her down to the bus stop to take bus and went for bfast with yp @ mac... we chat and gossip and bitch ard till 2 lor... amazing rite? hw girls can tok... hahaa... reached home... it was tooo warm to sleep... n due to nt enough sleep, i think i was tooo heaty... and i think i may come down with fever... so i swallow tons of water.. juz pray hard i wun get fever... hahahaa....

Feb is gonna be exciting mth... i think more events to come? hahahahaa...

DAMN! juz coz of someone.... i have to go internet check sth.. then i 4got to open a new tab... n BOOM! my previous entry tt i've typed for half hr is gone!!!! TOOPID LEH!! kaoz... eeeeeek...

Ok.. as i was saying... i shld update more often since i'm free nw.... but i'm juz too lazy to update... at hm sleep, rot, watch tv, play computer games... I'm only active at night.. coz all my tution at night mah.... mon-fri... everynight...

Mon, Wed and Thurs - 2000-2200
Tues and Fri - 1915-2045
Wed - 0900-1030

enough of my rotter's life.... This CNY... as usual... gamble wat lose wat... sianz rite? ppl say 情场失意，赌场得意。TYL is 情场失意，赌场失意，职场也失意! Ke lian rite? haiz... sianz sianz sianz...

This yr... everyone come remind me abt me being 26 liao... say when my mommy was my age... already have 2 kids le (me and my bro)... my ah ma oso tell me time to get married liao hor...

hw to marry?! see the guys ard me... where got eligible guy?? either i think they CMI or they think i CMI... hahaa... then the new guys i noe de..is mostly thru drinking or singing or gambling events.... then they are all (haiz... no comments)... so NO HOPE...

So i'm sticking with YT... wahahaa (can u hear her scream and shout and cry.. WE R DIVORCED!)... hahahaaa

Ok.. i shall post it b4 i go pressed wrongly again...