After whole week of MADLAB! i'm free! frm the assignment.. but coming next will be 2 exams... haiz... REST? well... after these 2 papers ba.. then will have 8 days of rest b4 starting of my senior yr... YES, tyl is moving into the 2nd yr!!!!! hahahahhaa ok.. pray hard i survived...

but then again, i survived thru last week... i think i wun die so easily le... last week was totally 'horrible, terrible, incorrigible'... avg time of me leaving sch is 11pm. coz toopid assignments and reports all come tgt.. and to be handed in at the same time!

n while doing matlab, my stress level was up to the NEW max sia... it is a challenge to me... and ya.. i broke my own stress threshold record... i totally cannot imagine hw i survived thru... but i did. of coz, i did burst out in front of tyx lah.. she was being nice to guide me thru, but when she told me tt the stuff were all wrong, i totally went haywire and burst lor... well.... did manage to get it.... (using the 'wrong stuff' tt i was tot... yx de language... abit too chim)... hahahaa..

after i finished everything, i turned and saw tt eric n eprina (other kakis went home early) were behind me, i nearly went out of control. but of coz, my ego n pride were stronger... anyway, the worse is over. :)

Nw back to mugging!!!

TYL never use the F word... NEVER! but this person is able to make TYL use this word on him, he is juz ultimate! Super duper irritating and arrogant piece of shit! Well, who is he? He is a lab tech in my sch... no he is not. He is a lab tech in SP. My sch dun have such idiotic ppl de.

We have lab today at 2pm, but our lecturer told us to be there 30 mins earlier to prepare some of the samples 1st. Or else we gonna worked till very late. So we were there at 1.30pm to start preparing our samples.

We went in, he KNEW tt we were already in there, but he didnt move a single cell of his butt, to find out y r we there so early, NOR ask us who r we, NOR ask us wat we need. He juz cont'd to treat us as NON-existence. Well, we are absolutely FINE with it. IF we noe where r the stuff we needed are kept.

but the fact was, we DIDNT noe where the stuff were kept. n he is one FUSSY guy whom dun like ppl turning his lab upside down. so we asked him abt the samples we need to prepare POLITELY. he told us to wait for our lecturer to come ( wat the hell? we were instructed to come early to prepare, and cant find lecturer, go find him de!). SO we said, we need to prepare the sample as instructed.

He was kind enough to get up frm his work bench to tell us where the stuff are put, and we went ahead with our sample preparation. there are 3 benches in this lab, we took out our stuff and put it on one of the bench, he say we cant work on tt bench coz he needed it for the lab later with the poly students. Fine, we went out and work on another bench. He dun allow, coz he say we may spoil the microscopes tt were on the bench. (when we HAVEN EVEN start on anything, juz to put our lab manuals!). FINE, we r doing lab work but we CANT USE any of the bench. coz the benches are filled with microscopes which he emphasize tt they were VERY ex and tt we cant AFFORD to spoil it!

HELLO! we handled microscope b4 and we noe hw EXPENSIVE THEY ARE! and PLEASE look at hw ur POLY STUDENTS handling ur EXPENSIVE microscope b4 telling us that we MIGHT spoil them!

then he started making noise about double booking of lab. Dunno y our lecturer booked this lab at this period. when there would be another lab going on at the same time. Com'on, THIS IS NOT OUR fault! as if we wanted this to happen, as if WE BEGGED to make his life difficult (though nw i very much want to do tt). Then we found a small corner, we juz say we'll do it there. he said ok. leaving us in tt small corner w/o telling us where r the spatula and weighing boats... we went searching again lor, wat to do... haiz...

then one of us commented tt, 'nw i noe.. the higher level u studied, the smaller working space u will get. ' tt is the challenge.

As if we are free riders.. as if we dun pay our sch fees, as if we are liability to them n not assets. we r juz nt being loved anywhere!!! Haiz.. i hate 寄人篱下!

WAH! 1 mth! i didnt blog for a mth! due to the EXTREMELY bz mth... i juz dun have the time to blog. Assignment, report, presentation then report and assignment then presentation then report then exam.... then presentation then report...... CRAZY mth!!! haiz... wat to do.. i chose this path....

GE is here... i've casted my vote! there has been a very heated debate over the 2 weeks (i wonder does this contribute to today's extremely hot weather?) and frens with different political views started to oppose one another... haiz...

hey frens, ppl have different views... so we can share our views... but nt to the extend of fighting over it... i mean, it is abt the govt... they r nt going to reward u nor thank u if u stood by them in the expense of ur frenships.... nt worth it lah...

it actually scares me when i see tt the direction the 'discussions' were leading to.... aiyo.....

n i got 2 pieces of good news this week... 3rd May 2011, a little boy named Aidan was brought to this world by Mommy simin and daddy alex!!! and on 6th May 2011, a little girl (name nt known at the moment of post), was brought to this world by mommy Elena and daddy Mani!!! SOOOOOOOOOO happy for them!!!!! EXCITED!!!!! cant wait to see them sia... :)

i think i shld be going back to prepare my presentation.... haiz... n i shall slp so tonight i can stay up late to hear the polling results LIVE!

In life... u gain sth, u lost sth.... this is juz the basic balance of life ba...

I gain a bunch of great buddies from sch... i lost some kakis frm work...

Well, cant say lost... juz feel tt we r not close as b4... well... this is natural.. coz i'm out of the league le.... we have no more common topic... n i seems to be juz an xtra person in the grp..

I chose to leave my 'so-called' drinking kakis frm work.. at least i will not go drinking with them anymore...a personal decision and i noe i'm going to stick with it. Frm nw on, it is only my sec sch BESTIEs and my Uni kakis tt i would go drink with....

i tried my best to maintain the closeness with my other kakis frm work.... but then... we seems to be drifted apart.. actually quite sad... coz i feel tt they longer feel the excitement to see me... n i more n more feel like i'm the xtra.... the only person nw tt is close to me is only my buddy.. but she is overloaded n stress with her work le.... my kor... nw drifted FURTHER..... so far tt i dun even remember tt we were damn close b4.....

Ok... mayb i think toooo much... but well.. sch work is overwhelming.. i really shldnt be spending time think abt this.... hahaa..... time to hit back my research... so if the end really comes in 2012.. at least i got my degree... :p

Dear Aunties and Uncles,

SMRT is not going to give u a prize to be the 1st to board the bus, govt is not gonna give u extra money for being the 1st to reach the MRT gate, and u r NOT gonna be the early when u r the 1st to board the train! If each and everyone of us, go in orderly manner, time spent on SQUEEZING up the train and bus will be shorten. Then all of us will not to be late!!

Isnt it better?

I REALLY DUN UNDERSTAND! haiz...

After knowing my this bunch of boys in my class, i came to realise sth.

It is a natural ability for a guy to take care of girls or be responsible (regardless of age). To think tt I was constantly helping u to find excuses for ur behavior such as being tooo young....

U were young, but my this bunch of guys are YOUNGER! u claimed tt coz i was older, capable to look after myself to a certain extend, so u r not tt 'caring'. but then the guys i noe, they noe tt i was much older, yet, they r still caring and in fact, showed me with the care n concern, tt suddenly i feel tt i'm a queen! n to think tt they are JUST FRENS!

U claimed that i was ur special one, yet, i dun feel being 'appreciated' nor 'treasured'.

i was soooo damn toopid..

虽然讲了几万次，我会把你戒掉。。。 却一而再再而三的又想起你。 朋友听了都厌倦了！真是没用！现在，我要彻底的把你删除！一个从开始到现在都不珍惜我的人，留在心里、脑里都是浪费位！我还需要记更多更美好的事！

It is the 3rd mth of a new yr!!!! time flies! n i'm sooooo looking fwd to my grad in 2012 (provided we still survive in 2012)....

anyway, currently tyl is in class... having an hr break with a few classmates discussing on assignments and a few slacking (which includes me!) *grinz*

Back frm the 1st oversea trip to Kukup, Msia with my Massey classmates whom i call Massey Bonkers... though nt the whole class turned up, we had lotsa fun and let me noe more abt the ppl i have been hanging out with EVERYDAY ever since Aug 2010....

They are fun-loving and non-stop joke generator. u will never feel dull with them.... and most imptly, most of them LOVE to sing and r superb singers!!! n 1st time ever, TYL is contented juz to sit down there n listen to them sing... wahahahaha....

Proudly presents.... My Massey classmates @ Kukup!

Eprina - My whatsapp kaki cum lunch kaki cum tok cock kaki, Indo -chinese girl whom is so blur tt she amazed me everyday! wahahaa..

Polly - My lunch kaki cum grp mate cum tok cock kaki, Penang girl whom is serious when work, and damn spontaneous when it comes to play

Eric, Ye sen, Edwin - my drinking kakis, these 3 bros amazed me everyday... their frenship is so strong tt i juz love to see the interaction between the 3.... n yep... they are superb good and nice boys tt i always say i'm proud to bring them out to intro to ppl... They are much much much more gentlemen than some guys i noe who r much older than them... n they r responsible and caring which is lacking in most guys i noe...

Marcus, Cedric, Pinda (my drinking kaki), Ramesh, Siang wee - these 5... aiyo... NEVER stop in creating the funniest moment. They too r super responsible and caring.... ya.. they are BOYs, so non-stop actions frm them..

Ya, most of the funniest moment r created by these 8 guys mentioned above...

Celia, Ethel, Jiamin - i didnt noe tt they are THAT fun-loving till the trip. Jiamin can party (i found a clubbing buddy? wahaha), celia and ethel r sooooooo full of expression tt sometime i wonder if it is my sis, TYX had cast her crazy spell on them mah... hahahaa

We had our crazy times in Kukup, and pics say it all! wahahaha....

The class is united as a whole (not only those who went to kukup), I really hope tt we will not change even when we go to the senior yr! I REALLY HOPE tt we will stay so happy and united thru'out the 2 yrs!

This is definitely not the last trip.. more events to come for the Massey BonkerS!

Seems like i've juz started sch... n nw, i'm preparing for exams... the good and bad thing abt this course is, u wouldnt noe or notice wat date or wat day... u will only noe, datelines and exam dates.... b4 u realised it.. u r graduating le... wahaha... okok... i'm dreaming...

alot of things happen ard me this new yr... which i'm happy, yet at the same time lost and mayb teeny weeny of sad... n lonely?

1. Things in my family r getting better... i noe my family is gonna do very well this yr!! n really... i can see the efforts and i really do appreciate each and everything he/she did! n i tell u... nth can pull me away frm my family! I simply love them, esp tt super genius sis of mine! she can make me angry, make me sad, make me suffer, make me feel stupid... but she can NEVER make me stop loving her! in fact, i'm loving her more each day!!!


2. ppl ard me r moving on... and found their happiness... which i'm happy for them. getting married, r/s growing stronger and stronger, new found love, new found life, having the fruits of their love... moving on after a heart break.... juz noeing tt they r moving on... having another purpose in life.... it is a good thing....


3. getting more n more used to sch life... and mixed well with my classmates, though i very much wanted to be the same class as my bffs... i like my class nw! i think my class is more fun and more craziness and more talentS!!! wahahaha...


4. I no longer believe in love, n settling down is the last thing in my mind. Though i did toy with the tots of settling down during the 1st week of CNY... but well... it lasted for a week only. seeing my close frens (singles) are seriously looking out for ppl to settle down or already found one...suddenly it strikes me... i might be gonna be alone soon... part of me feel sad, coz my single kakis left me one by one... but then i'm not sadist.. i wish my frens to be happy... so... i wun do or say anything... i will give them my blessings...

seeing hw my bff drowning in her new found love... suddenly the way she speaks oso seem different... added in the gentleness and feminine, and noe how to 撒娇 liao.... reality hits me... she seems far le.. well.... nvm ba.. at least this is a happy thing....

hearing my frens toking abt their honey mood period... the sweet stuff tt is happening to them makes me tot of the times i once had... bitter, sweet, sour... but... it is juz a memory... a far far far and never will happen again de memory...

seeing yt and ivan (my 2 darlings) fulfilling their dreams... doing stuff tt they wish n dream to do... and actively lookign for their life time partner....

i wonder... wat m i doing? i'm fulfilling my degree dream... then? wat is my dream? my goal? i'm lost? i dunno... wat i noe is I'm NOT actively looking for partner.... so dun come n tell me abt settling down...

mayb i pmsing... or sleepy? mayb when i wake up tml... i noe wat's my goal.. noe wat i want... wahahaha....

无奈

1.动词 无可奈何：出于无奈

2.连词 用在转折句的头上，表示由于某种原因，不能实现上文所说的意图，有“可惜”的意思，

3.名次 对于事物没有办法所表现出来的态度

很多时候，我都处在这无奈状态中。对于自己的生活，都是充满无奈了，更何况是别人的幸福。

即使我说了上千遍，软硬兼施，你还是决定往前走。我还能说什么？ 这是你的未来、你的幸福、你的生活，我能管什么？

也许，未来不是我想象的如此糟糕；那么我当然我真心诚意地祝福你；也许未来正如我所料的伤人，我会心痛，也会伤心，但，这条路是你自己选的。后果自负。 我只能在旁边支持你，却可能减轻不了你的痛。

我虽然已对爱情没有了信任、也没有了希望， 我却还能感受的到爱。只要你们是真心相爱，我仍感受的到。所以，请不要以为我只会把我的想法套在你们的身上。 只是我希望我周围的人能先看清楚才决定， 不要让自己去面对那无谓的伤害。

一个人的幸福，不是一个旁观者能断定、能决定、能肯定的。但是如果我知道你为了某个人，到现在还在痛。坚持要忘记他的你，还会要知道他的消息吗？说还是不说？说了，你会开心吗？ 还是更烦恼？不说，你会怨我吗？我会是毁了你可能拥有的幸福吗？？？

It is 2011!!! i noe today is the 5th day... hahaha nw then decided to post this entry. Well... we r entering the new decade of the 21st century. So wat has happened for the past 10 yrs?

2001:

My 2nd yr in JC. till then i realised that i wasnt cut out to be a JC person.. but since it was already 2nd, juz die die oso study. I'm glad i did. coz this is the yr when i got to know my best best buddy... HJM! nw then i realised we knew each other for 10 yrs! we muz celebrate this yr sia... :p

2002:

The slackest yr. After getting A lvls results, as expected, i cant get into the course i wanted. and when i decided to go back to poly, i missed the dateline for the yr de intake. I taught tuition FULL TIME! and got my driving license coz i was juz too free.

2003:

Finally enrolled into poly, Dip in Chemical Process Techology. Due to the 1 yr lag, i wasnt allow to go straight to 2nd yr. I didnt regret, as i got to noe my now BFFs...Ly, XH, WY, Daniel.... and of coz... gotta noe him.... didnt noe at tt time that he was able to create such a big impact in my life

2004:

2nd yr of poly, went into food tech (my dream course). I was 21 !!!! had a great bdae celebration at West Coast. my different grps of frens came up with different tricks to trick me. He chose a different option, HE became part of my life, his calls, his encouragement, his laughter. at the same time, YP joined in the BFFs team. i went for my 1st overseas attachment - BKK ABAC. wooo... i knew my thai frens for 6yrs plus liao.. woo hoo...

2005:

He left, vanished.... and i got myself a bf, whom i waited for 6yrs before HE appeared. but end uo the r/s didnt last more than 2 mths. well, at least we tried. worked in my 2nd attachment - Danisco.

2006:

i graduated le!!!! I got my 1st job in Gold Kili! didnt noe at tt time that this job will be with me for soooo long. A place i loved most. it was juz like a 2nd home to me. Coz everyone WAS so nice and sincere. learnt a lot frm the ppl in there. Frm EQ, PR skills, sales, QA/QC, manufacturing, anything and everything under the sun. then i saw the 'TORO' looked alike OFM!

2007:

got closer to my office BFFs now(Kelvis and Yan). Cheryl joined the company too. that was the PEAK period in GK. we went thru thick and thin. The BEST rapport was during tt period where we all were so happy. Though the work was stressful and wasnt very established, yet we enjoyed the most during tt period.

My whole family went thru a big roller coaster this yr, and made us changed our lifestyle, our attitude and our mindset.. but it is all over now!! :)

2008:

Decided to resigned for my fave job juz to get into Massey Uni SG 1st batch. WY left for Aust oso came back for this course. Who noes, i was rejected. went on working on contract basis in Danisco, learning of the ingredient level of food manufacturing. HE decided to reappear again. but this time round, tot i was neutral, i tot my feelings for him had faded.....

2009:

OFM, CP went back home. missing the times we had. worked in HPB for a few mths b4 Gold Kili called me back. experienced in building up a factory, designing and planning of the plant.. COOL!!!!

I allowed myself to go out of control with HIM. i tot i wasnt serious, BUT.... things didnt go as i predicted. i wasnt strong myself, and got myself into tt deepest pit.. When he decided to start a new r/s with another girl. I decided to give up and juz walk away. no pt staying there....it hurt badly... it still hurts...

decided tt marriage is not the most impt thing i want, and starts not to believe in love....

2010:

once again decided to resign and go back to sch. and YES, this time round i made sure i cfm a place b4 i resigned! then BOOM! TYL in Massey Uni SG, going back the rushing reports, studying for exam, no income student life! got noe to a batch of cute little boys and girls...

survived one sem... 1.5 more sems to go!!!! :)

wooo 10yrs of my life passed juz like tt... more 10yrs to come. but the most impt thing for me nw is to survive thru these 2 yrs!!

Ok, time checked 2 am!!! i got work later!!! nite...

PS: Ivan, i think u will find a lot of typo and wrong phrasing or any errors ba.... coz i did this entry in 1 hr time and i'm half alsp nw!!! :p

I wanted to post sth abt the new year, as it is 2011!! but i think this is more interesting. Thanks to WY, she showed me this webby toking our Moon sign and Moon astrology. Moon sign is the position of the moon when u r born.

From this webby, http://www.findyourfate.com/astrology/moon-astrology/moonsigns.html, u can learn more about wat is moon sign.

Moon sign vs Sun sign (Sun sign is the normal horoscope we noe, for me is cancer.)

The Moon is said to rule your personality, while the Sun rules your individuality.The Sun influences our total self or our personality. The Sun therefore represents the way we are seen by others around us. The Moon represents the more of our inner world of feelings and emotions, and how we feel about ourselves. The Sun rules the day, but moon has an altogether mysterious side, with deeper more hidden aspects.

Well, my moon sign is Leo:

The Moon in Leo makes you strong, proud and courageous. You enjoy responsibility, and often take on too much of it. You have a natural attraction authority, and enjoy appearing in the public eye. You would rather lead than follow any day.Your inherent pride makes you very susceptible to love affairs.

Your actions at work attract the attention, and respect of your superiors. This can only mean good things for you as far as your career is concerned. As far as money is concerned you are very generous.

The Moon in Leo makes for a strong intellect and a strong love of the arts. Don't be surprised if your occupation involves the theatre, music, painting or literature. You also have a love for luxuries. You like to drink the finest wine life has to offer. You are lively in spirit, have a high intelligence and have good prioritizing skills.

Females with Leo Moon: Fair complexion, attractive, wide and generous features, big round eyes. They are generous, independent, leaders among women, jolly but easily offended or hurt and apt to be vindictive and jealous. Of fiery temper, fond of food and are religious. Joyous, sexy and craving for physical contacts, like to be away from madding crowds and prefer a solitary place. Sincere, frank, good married life on the whole. Wealthy, affectionate and passionate and as long as they love their partner, they do it intensely, otherwise will severe connections.

Leo Moon- Positive Traits	Leo Moon - Negative Traits
Loving Witty Radiant Artistic Dignified	Extravagant Arrogant Show-off Self-centered Domineering

WY told me is very me.. she feel tt it is quite true... personally i feel... ya... true to a certain extend ba... but nt on the attractive part ba.. wahahahahaha TYX gonna laugh till her head drop on this attractive part... :p

I'm juz damn pissed! Y things had become like tt? You've noe me for so long liao yet still dunno me?!

I've respected you like an elder brother. i've treat u like an elder brother, i've always tok to u like ur younger sis! juz coz of ppl started to tok in front about us, u started to suspect tt i like u?! COME ON LAH! if i wanna like u, i would have loooong ago.. not till now lor!!! n then ppl always say things.. i cant stop them, but i noe very well, hw i feel towards u... so i no need to scare.. so when they juz say i let them say... then end up, u r the one kana influenced!?!??!?!

nw wat, juz coz ppl say so much things, make u suspected tt i like u (greatest joke of the century), u r treating me like u dunno me, like u hated me. I'm no longer in ur 'MUST MEET' list. i no longer in ur consideration when going out (u juz hope tt i dun follow!)

well, this is TYL! TYL believes in platonic frenship! and TYL is damn prideful and ego! if u wish tt we shld juz go back to acquaintance and not good frens, i glad to do so... SO BE IT!

原来我们之间的友情是那么脆弱的。 什么同甘共苦？什么有福同享、有难同当？都是废话！！！

nw then i realised, those days when we met our down times, we were always there for one another. we were so close, we shared our woes and happiness. we planned our 'revenge'... ALL THESE are fake one lor!?!? all the things we have been thru, cant fight the few words ppl tell u!!!

I M TOTALLY DISAPPOINTED IN U!!!!!

This is a long overdue post... well... i was bz and abit lazy... :p

Anyway, on the 27th Nov after our dear LWY's vocal exam, food tester TYL, ATXH and LWY decided to givethis new Taiwan Restaurant - Xi Men Ding 西门町 in Raffle's City a try. Though the 3 of us has limited captial - being avid food lovers... we juz cant help it but to try.... the price is abit steep though.

Su Ping, if u happened to read my blog... give this a try!!! :p

While waiting for food.. i juz start snapping away

This is... but it is NICE!! it taste alot better than pasar malam, and any other Taiwan snacks kiosk... haven try the REAL taiwan 盐酥鸡 b4... but this is the best among those in SG

This looked half finshed.. coz i 4got to take the photo b4 i ate.. hehehe.. this is pig's trotter mee sua... 猪脚面线.. the mian xian is different from wat we ate in SG.. is nice... 很有咬劲. and of coz, the braised pig's trotter... tender, flavourful.. yumz...

This is the 大肠四季豆... big intestines with French beans aka 4 seasons beans (directly translation). For those who dun like intestines, this is absolutely a must try dish. The dried shrimps are fried till crispy, the French beans are crunchy and the big intestines were fried till so crispy till u dun even noe tt it is big intestine. so ppl who dun like intestines can try it. :p

and finally, the 卤肉饭 with special order 梅菜 added in.... 梅菜入口即化... yet u dun feel tt it is some food that have been cooked and re-cooked for dance... the braised meat 肥而不腻... wonders....

but of coz, be prepared that the price r slightly high... some may think tt this type of dishes really not worth the money.... but to me.. i think is 值得.... :p of coz it is based on the tastebuds of ppl who never tried the authentic Taiwan food b4... this is consider the best of taiwan food of wat we had eaten in SG....

I shld studying food chem... but then it is juz so dry and i simply can remember all the rxn happening! i mean i noe wat happen to the food, i noe wat is the mechanism behind, but i cant remember who/what are involved! sianz to the max... well.. suan le.. i have to study

anyway... sharing with u my latest fave songs!!! lyrics super meaningful... :)

1. Hebe - 寂寞寂寞就好

2. Elva - 错的人

3. Kenji Wu - 没关系

I started to wonder again... shld i cont'd studying? yes, studying has been always my dream. nw i'm in it, and is enjoying every moment (of coz i still complain on the amt of report and work done).

my super seniors have graduated, n currently are looking for jobs.. either they cant find or the pay is as low as my last drawn pay.

Reality strikes me.. y did i put myself into this 'meeting datelines' misery for 2 yrs when ended up i cant have a big jump in my salary?

my frens told me i shld juz cont'd, at least i got exp... but still... TYX says we r constantly in quarter life crisis... i guess so.. wahahhaaa...

btw, i'm still having class nw.... :p

After watching the repeat telecast of Singapore Hits Award 2010, made me wonder, did I follow closely on SHA for all 16 years? hahahaha... i dun remember, but i'm sure for the past 16 yrs, i NEVER once without an idol. Looking back, i didnt noe y i even labelled some as idols... juz pure 'kiddish'? I shall list out my past idols....

From the day i noe that there is M-Pop, which i think 10 yrs old? YEP, TYL started looking at shuai ges THAT young.

I dun remember when, but 小虎队 and LA boyz songs were always in my THEN ULTIMATE LUXURY walkman. At that time CD was a damn high class stuff, so i only got cassette tape. The walkman was a gift i got passed down to me from my dad. If i still have it nw, it is ANTIQUE!

At 11-12 yr old, due to the influenced of my classmates, i started collecting stuff of my THEN idol - Leon Lai. Dun ask me y i liked him tt time. till nw i still wondered Y. mayb it was coz i felt tt he looked like my THEN fave cousin, and my classmates were wooing and ahhhing over some idol, i cannot lose out, so i mentioned Leon, and well, juz like tt he became my 1st idol. (年少无知) I even asked my dad to get his CD for me. I still remember, i had that 今夜你会不会来album.

That was the period of time when the 四大天王(Jacky Cheung, Aaron Kwok, Andy Lau and Leon Lai) and 四小天王 (Jimmy Lin, Nicky Wu, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Alec Su) were so popular. everyone juz go crazy with wither on of them or all of them.

Actually, i liked Andy Lau, but coz at that pt of time, leon, being my so-called idol, was always being compared with andy, and plus my bro like andy lau, i always 'reject' any news and pics of andy lau, to show my 'loyalty' to my 'idol'. (that was juz plain toopid)

During my Sec sch to JC days, I could remember who was i crazy with. But one for sure is Jeff Chang. His songs touched me even up till now. He is one of the talented singers i idolised, (TYL dun juz look at pretty faces guys nia, i appreciate talent too.) I got most of the albums he cut at that period of time: 宽容(1995)、梦想(1996)、挚爱(1997)、选哲精选辑(1997)、直觉(1997)、信仰(2000)、从开始到现在(2002)。Yes, this was how i love Jeff. i think he is the only idol i have so many albums de. wahahahaa

2002 - 2003, idol drama was a great hit and slowly all the boy bands were all coming out. 1st, F4 due to Meteor Garden series. They were the start of pretty face boybands in M-pop, and yes, TYL was once crazy over them, to the extend of queuing up for half a day (i got my resources nt to Q for days) for Vanness Wu autograph for his 1st album.

2003 - 2005 yr old, Jay Chou became VERY popular, and i got his VERY 1st album (a gift frm my cousin) and the talented grp, Tension (it's a pity this grp didnt last long). Then comes 5566, Energy! I was crazy over 5566, i would save up and buy the albums and merchandise. I got their 一光年, Boyfriend 挚爱 (2 editions), C'est Si Bon, Mr Fighting OST, 好久不见 and 喝彩。At the same time, TYX was crazy with Energy (with Toro and 牛奶), so u can imagine, how well we noe their songs at THAT time. but coz after Toro then subsequently 牛奶 left, we grew out of them le. As for 5566, the last 2 albums were not as nice as the 1st few, and slowly they spent their time on other areas other than singing, we also stop following.

2005-2009, Fahrenheit (飞轮海) came into the M-pop pic and sad to say, yes this is another pretty face boyband TYL was crazy with. I got pics of them everywhere, even on my office desktop. I was especially in love with Jiro Wang. Coz he reminded me of someone. Once i told that someone i was different frm her (who happen to like Fahrenheit too), as i noe him 1st, and coz of him i liked Fahrenheit - Jiro, but she likes Jiro 1st b4 she met him. Well, that was the past... so nw, the craze died down le.

Proud to say that, apart from the boys, TYL oso spend time looking at girls. SHE when they 1st appear in 2001, TYL oso follow all their news and albums. :)

As for now, i wun be as crazy, but still there are a bunch of ppl i adore, admire, idolised! wahhaa.. i will never say NO to Mayday (dunno when did i start liking them, but once start u cant stop), Show Luo, Rainie Yang, Jeff Chang, SHE, Zhang Yun Jing (She is damn shuai and cute!!!!!), Liang Wen Ying (Coz she is oso LWY? wahaha). and i wld not say no to handsome guys or nice music!

不知道从几时开始，我已经不再追看偶像剧；浪漫爱情小说也不再吸引我。是怎么了？我长大了？！ 哈哈。。。 可能吧。到了这把年纪还有少女浪漫幻想或许太可悲了吧。很多身边的朋友都会很开心，我终于长大了！ 哈哈。。。曾经就有朋友阻止我看偶像剧和爱情小说，她说就是因为受到影响，所以渴望梦幻般的爱情，对于爱情的要求特别高，结果怎样都找不到男朋友。几年前的我，也许就是这样吧。现在的我，选择性的远离爱情。

看见周围的朋友都在爱情里受尽了折磨，我为何还自讨苦吃？最近又好多朋友，不管是很亲近的，还是比较不熟的； 不管是男的、还是女的都在爱里受伤。分手的分手、悔婚的悔婚、后悔结婚的后悔结婚、说不爱了就不爱了。。。　不管是爱情长跑５年以上还是在一起一年以上。。。都敌不过变心。说什么天长地久、说什么海枯石烂、说什么永远、说什么一辈子的承诺、说什么至死不渝的爱。。。到头来，说变心就变心、说不爱就不爱、说分手就分手。有没有想过另一方的感受？请到深处时，对方伤风，你就会觉得呼吸困难；要分手时，对方在你面前的伤痛，你们却感受不到。爱情就那么脆弱吗？

我不知道自己有没有曾经深爱过；不过我很肯定我有很受伤过。。这种痛真的笔墨难形容。那种心就好像被揪在一起的痛、坐着都好像会窒息而死、走路像行尸走肉般、整个世界好像都塌了下来。我想这种痛，谁都不愿受到第二次。偏偏我让我自己第二次受到伤害。。。　真是可悲。。好累。。　看到周围的人，加上自己所受的伤。。。我真的不想再接近这所谓甜蜜、让人便美的爱情。如果变美丽的代价就是要面对着种种伤害，我宁可丑一辈子。至少我会很开心自在。不会为了另一个人有没有想你、是不是也一样爱着你、有没有背叛你、有没有照顾自己而烦恼！

有一本小说里，男主角说道∶“男人说爱你，当下真的是爱你的。”　就是这一秒说爱你，真的是爱你的。只不过，下一秒也许就变心了。人生还真的变化无常啊！

人最厉害的就是帮自己找借口。再牵强的理由都能说出了来。只要感情淡了、不爱了、想分手了。。。什么理由都有。

看了这么多，那些梦幻似的爱情、那些浪漫、感人的爱情对我来说就是戏剧。再也不是现实、我更不可能渴望的到。我不相信爱、更不对爱没信心。。男人，我照看；我照玩；但我绝对不可能再爱、更不可能放下心防再去爱。也许某天，有人能让我对爱情的看法改变，或是能让我有信心。但绝对不是现在！近期内，不可能会有我的喜讯吧。:)

Results for my 1st paper is out. It is a B+! haha.. i'm satisfied with this result. Coz i didnt aim high. Juz a middle range pass would be enough...

2nd paper juz finished, and now i'm preparing for a test on tues. But it seems sooo unproductive. i juz cant get the facts into my head... haiz.. no matter wat, i muz force myself to do it.

Last thurs, went KTV with my classmates after exam. I knew some of the guys can sing... but i didnt noe most of them CAN REALLY SING! OMG! i enjoyed every moment even when i'm not singing. jus sitting down and listen to them sing is a pleasure.

normally, most guys i noe, either dunno hw to sing or dun dare to sing. simon and darren aside... they are my ktv kakis... hehee but they are juz sooooooo superb.... haha i told eric i gonna bring him to ktv pub to show off le... wahahaha...

well, though i didnt get to be the same class as wy... i'm still happy! coz i LOVE my class! they are constantly amazing my with new things... wahahaha...

ok back to notes.. SIANESS!