一封寄不出去的信

XXX,

结果，我们还是走到了这一步。想起来，好像一切是注定的。

还记得吗? 我曾和你说我有个不祥的预感∶我即将失去你，因为你离我越来越远。

你叫我别想太多，你不是好好的坐在我身边吗？当时的我觉得好感动、好幸福。因为有你，所以就忽略了在心里最深处的呐喊。

心底很清楚地感受到这一切都是个梦，很快就会消失，但我却宁愿沉浸在你给的甜美时光里，也不愿去面对心底的呼喊∶我即将走入一个深渊，一个会让我痛苦的深渊。我放纵自己，让自己去享受你所给的一切，我以为当你离开时我会很快就淡忘一切，我以为我能潇洒的放下。

我太高估我自己了，还是太低估了我对你的感情？我自己也不知道，只知道我想逃，不想在这里打转。 好累。

我已做了决定。三年前是你选择离开、选择逃避。三年后，是我选择离开。

说不会心痛是骗人的。我的心比什么都还要痛。看见你送我的熊，眼泪会不由自主地掉下来。经过曾和你走过的路、看过的事物、做过的事都会让我勾起那些回忆。我一直都在和不一样的人去同样的地方、做同样的事，为了就是要制造新的回忆。但都不能。

说不想你是骗人的。无时无刻你的笑容、温柔、可爱表情、幼稚的举动都会出现在我脑海里。想要有人陪伴、有人给与温柔的拥抱时更加想你。所以，我一工作来麻痹自己。让我自己忙就不会有空闲的时间想你。

虽然还会担心你；怕你有心事不说、怕你累坏身子、怕你吃不好睡不好。但我想我的担心是多余的。你现在也许很幸福。

我很累。真得好累。不明不白的关系托了这么多年，是时候有个了结。我选择放弃、离开。既然你不能给我爱情，我也给不了你友情，我们就走到这里。其实这决定不只害我失去一位我最在乎的人、也害你失去一位好友。真是抱歉。
不过还是要谢谢你曾在我生命中留下美好的回忆。心还是会痛，但长痛不如短痛。再托下去我会更加遍体鳞伤。

也许我会用一段很长的时间把你淡忘、也许我一辈子都忘不了你。以后的事，谁能预料？只能说，也许很久很久以后再见到你，能若无其事的和你打声招呼也不一定。

祝福你，
曾经的好友

if u realised tt my font size is bigger. yes.. no worries... nt ur screen prob... u didnt see wrongly.. i've changed it!

COZ I GOT A BROTHER ( A BLOOD BROTHER WITH SAME MOTHER AND FATHER AND SISTER), by the name of Mr. BEN TAN YONG WEI, age 25 yet with a mentality, hearing and sighting condition of a 70 year old man complained tt my blog is soooooo complicated and the wordings are so small tt everytime he reads it, he feel like bashing me up! SO TO SATISFY HIM, i increased the font size!!! and when i'm free, i'll make it OLD MAN PROOF!

btw, this is my blog.. i think i can write watever i want rite?

to the selected few: msn me to get the full story. If u r still wondering if u are the selected one? reassure.. u r not..

Have u ever encounter this kind of scenerio?

Early in the morning 0930, ur hp rang (u normally off ur hp when u r asleep, ONLY on it when u awake, so u WERE REALLY wondering y n how come ur hp will ring! and plus u slept at 0430 juz nw, so u can imagine the ring of hp WAS definitely NOT a WELCOMING sound). U picked up the call.
While you were still blur blur, the other party gave u the shocked of ur life! this happened to me THIS MORNING...

"U r still SLEEPING?!"
"Yah..." Hello!? it is 0930! n it is a SAT morning, of coz i'm still in bed!
"I'm waiting for u at the swimming pool nw, n u r still in bed?!" the caller shouted

WAIT!? since when i promised to wake up early for a morning swim? NO, i didnt promise! i didnt say yes! i was sure! but y is the caller there n INSISTED tt I had agreed!?!?

"Huh? I got say i going meh? no ar.. i didnt promise..."

I was scratching my head.. n trying to wake tt mind up and rake all the events tt had happened the past few days... I WAS SURE i didnt say i going....

"Yes, u did! nw hw!? u r leaving me here? u fly me aeroplane!" Yes, the caller sounded pissed

Inward, I groaned! TRYING damn hard to remember DID I EVER SAY tt i going swimming?!! n My body really do not have the strenght to get up....

"when did i fly aeroplane? i didnt promise u!!" OH DEAR! help me! i wanna sleep somemore!!!
"YES! YES!! I WANT u to come out nw!!!!" if this caller is any other body... i think i wld juz hang up n go back to sleep... but tt is my PRECIOUS FEW!

I dragged myself out of bed.. mentally thinking where did i put my swimming costume.. and hw can i pack my stuff using the fastest way... n wondering did i say YES in my dreams!? n trying to reason out with the caller that i DIDNT agree to go swimming...

Yes, i was thinking of going out liao... of coz, not tt i admit tt i had agreed to go swimming and had forgotten.. is coz tt caller is the PRECIOUS FEW...

Then... wait.. i heard tt behind the shouting, there was a smile... a laughter... THIS CUTE CALLER OF MINE, called me early in the morning at 0930 after her swim, to wake me up and gimme a scare of my life and then smile and say
"It is a nice sat morning! u shldnt be sleeping! u muz wake up!"
"aiyo, i slept at 0430. Please leh.. let me sleep can?"
"who tell u to sleep at 0430?"
"I normally off my hp, hw come it is on today? and u can reach me?!"
"HAHAHAHAA.. it is FATED! WAKE UP!!!"
"my da xiao jie, i really slept at 0430!"
"i dun care, i woke up so early... so u oso have to wake up!!!"

I groaned again.. n she laughed... and say 'i missed u leh, so call u lor'
GOD KNOWS THE TRUTH!!

Oh god! i never on my hp till i wake up! n i think i juz accidentally on it b4 i slept today... this happened! really fated sia...
Supposingly i shld be in a bad mood and gonna curse n swear.. haiz... but i think i owe this person in my past life sia.. i wasnt abit pissed, and even acc to chat till she reached home. n the details? i dun really remember... coz i was still in dazed!!!!

yes, this person woke me up... end up, at 0930 i was online and playing FB!! my sis woke up and asked me.. "did u even sleep?"
HAIZ!!! u noe my reasons!

YES, this is the precious few that u will spend ur time with.. rot ur time away with, and u enjoy the company. This is the precious few tt u noe hw tired u r, or hw bz u r, u will oso make the effort to meet each other (esp when u all haven meet each other for sometime); be it juz a 30min dinner plus a short walk frm cwp to my tuition kid hse, or a long lazy afternoon. this is the precious few who noe ur whole family inside out, and can share ur woes. This is the precious few who can laugh at ur joke of the day/year, suan u like no tml, listen to all ur complains abt work, or simply to bitch ard and cry with u when u r hurting. This is the precious few tt u noe, even if they say they r not gonna meet u, does not love u, tell u to stop zi zuo duo qing or angry with u or say tt his/her dog is more impt, they will always be there when u need them... this is the precious few tt will hit u and scold u and remind u if u happen to go towards the wrong direction... this is the precious few tt will acc u, when the whole world is attached and living in their own world....

so wat if this precious few is attached!? wahahaha.. dunno leh.. we'll see when the time comes.. hehehee

Side line: This cute caller of mine, happily tell me tt she is going to take her LONG awaited afternoon nap at 1400 and thanks to her, i cant sleep as i'm meeting a fren at 1500 so i need to go out at 1400!!

NW IS 0400 AGAIN! and i make sure my hp is OFF this time round.. YEP! it is off! n dun try calling my hse, my room dun have phone anymore.. hehe...

Thanks to Ivan, i got a webby of dream decoder @ http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdictionarysearch.pl?method=exact&header=dreamsymbol&search=snake!! hahaa

Snake

To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you. Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced. Alternatively, the snake may be seen as phallic and thus symbolize temptation, dangerous and forbidden sexuality. If you are afraid of the snake, then it signifies your fears of sex, intimacy or commitment. The snake may also refer to a person around you who is callous, ruthless, and can't be trusted. As a positive symbol, snakes represent healing, transformation, knowledge and wisdom. It is indicative of self-renewal and positive changes.�
To see the skin of a snake in your dream, represents protection from illnesses.
To dream that you are eating a live snake, indicates that you are looking for intimacy or sexual fulfillment. Your life is lacking sensuality and passion. If you vomit or throw up the snake, then it may mean that you are overcompensating for something that is lacking in your life. You may be rushing into something.

Hmmm.. conclusion: People ard me ARE callous, ruthless and cant be trusted... coz alot snakes ard me...then one big white snake squased to death means tt one of them will be removed frm my life?!

Scary rite?! WHO CAN I TRUST? poor me.. i shall be low profile nw... n only stick to my beloved yt and ivan.. wahahahaha

suddenly got the 'spend $$' feeling... so went to buy a new card tag for office access card, a new hp pouch and accessory for my hp! As those who noe me shld noe, I'm A VICTIM of cute stuffs... well.. my beloved bro seems to 4got abt it... i bought all these ALL BY MYSELF!




Asmine went China, she cant find anything to buy.. but saw alot of doraemon.. so end up getting these for me... cute lor... wahaha...



I had a werid dream previous night.. i dreamed tt i was in a room with A LOT of snakes haning down frm the ceiling.. once u walked past.. can feel it sliding ard ur shoulders/back.. *shivers*....
then suddenly saw a white snake on the floor.. being 'squashed' to death by a door.. bloody image.. "shivers*... i noe dreamed of snakes is actually quite good... however, my dream so weird... wonder wat it mean... any dream decoder?? hahahahaa

ok.. this sounds stupid... but i've lost everything in my hp!!! y?? story goes like this:

I realised tt my media player cant read the memory in my memory card and can view photos frm my camera album. I was wondering wat happen for abt 1 week.. then i decided to use media manger to sync my hp with comp... but still it cant work... so finally i decided maybe is the software out of date... so i downloaded the software... to update my hp...

but i 4got one most impt thing... coz i cant sync my hp with comp... i 4got abt the stuff in my phone memory... so end up i didnt back up!!! n GONE, the whole list of phone numbers which took me 3 days to organise.. so frens/suppliers whom i met/saved ur number after i bought my this new C905, which is after Apr 2009, ur numbers are gone... so if u all are kind enough sms me using ur number...

then ALL the sms i DID NOT delete for memory purposes are gone! all memory GONE! i told yp... she say she gonna celebrate. y? coz she told me it's time to start afresh... 4got abt watever had happen... all memory gone is good.. at least i wun go back thinking wat had happen.. n hw sweet things were last time..

yes.. myhp is nw as good as new... with new software... limited phone numbers, and zero sms... mayb it is an indication...start afresh... can i do it?! y do i still feel the pain? i tot i'm numb.... haiz...

anyway, XH!! i'm really counting down liao.... mayb cant go overseas.. coz seems like no one got time to go... but we def WILL do sth!!! hahahaa

"The Biggest Loser" is now on... n the 2 contestants are juz to slackers who cant resist food. Bring chocolate cakes, mooncakes to any of them... see if theey will tell u they are on diet... wait... they will say they r on diet... BUT will still eat...

bring them to any Zhi Char... order crabs and stuff they like... you will see them eating happily... hahhaa... both of them have the voting system... and seems like yx is leading on the score board... y izzit so? coz her frens r loyal to her... BLINDLY... hahaha.... i have a few feedbacks frm her frens.. :
1. she sure will not lose so much weigh.. but as a fren we still vote for her
2. aiyah.. vote for her, let her happy
3. aiyo..i press wrongly lah

erm... so u noe hw she got all the votes?
anyway, i'm starting the betting system.. who is interested?
the rates for both of them are as below:
1. Yt - 1:5 (i decided not to be evil to put 1:10... hahaa)
2. Yx - 1:2 (this is base on the votes online)

Well... being the closest person to them... i cant take sides nor vote... so... i take bets!! hahhahaa

oh ya... another insider news.. one of yt's vote is yx's beloved bro vote de... Y IS THIS SO?! coz yx bro always side his sis.. so when he saw the title 'Who is the biggest loser?' he straight away click on yt... coz his beloved sister CAN NEVER be a loser!! hahahaha...

Enough of the updates... pls choose wisely.. n place ur bets...
Contact me for the bets... and will give the latest update on the voting results.
Voting will end in 88 days.

Damn irritated! Y I dun seems to have sth nice and happy happening recently!?!?

I got a news frm tt boss who is not my direct boss... he told me, my baby is not not selling. N need to change. so held a meeting to discuss wat shld be changed! he said ppl didnt noe tt we r selling white coffee. I DIDNT SELL IT AS WHITE COFFEE IN THE FIRST PLACE!

then half hr earlier, he commented tt for us R&D ppl, shld think out of the box. dun wanna a 'me too' product. Dun follow the crowd. Half hr later, he told me tt my baby is so different with the white coffee in the market. THE TASTE PROFILE WAS DIFFERENT WAT!!! hw to sell it as white coffee!?!?!?

From the start, they wanted a product that is no longer the 'uncle and auntie' style. i did it... nw they told me it is not selling, coz no one noe it is white coffee and uncles aunties dunno wat is Double Shot! Come on! at 1st he blamed us for not focusing on the targeted grp of the pdt. but who is the one NOT focusing!!? i wanna target young and executive RIGHT FROM THE START!!!!!!! nw coz a few commenting that we r not selling white coffee, they wanna change the pdt to white coffee and sell!!! wat sales not good...

Did they noe tt they actually nearly kill it when it 1st launch!? they happily change the raw mat. when it juz lauched and when i wasnt ard, the tatse went off!!! when i came back, i insisted in using back the original raw mat... then it is slowly moving up, they tell me sales not good.. so need a plastic surgery!!!

Say wat, R&D have a say... i say liao.. end up!? still do wat u all think is right! anyone consider hw i feel!? tt is my baby!!! a baby i spent a year formulating FROM scratch... n they AGREED ON THE DESIGN!! ok.. i agree that the pdt name shld not be at the bottom.. BUT IT IS A NEW STYLE WAT!?!?

They wanna change, let them change! i nt gonna care! next time they tell me to position my pdt, i shall tell them, they will change anyway... so they decide!

Anyway, ppl tell me... my DOUBLE SHOT... comment on the design... I WANNA THE TRUTH! no need care if i'm hurting anymore... coz i numb le!

wah... life is crazy recently. with the shifting of factory almost can drain me... i have been working OTs plus my weekends burned juz to go back to new office, then this long weekend, i have been waking up at 8sth to go office till i 错乱.. even asked my mom wat day is today when she woke me up... haiz.... wat to do?? i chose to come back coz of the shifting... so have to accept it lor...

due to the stress and the anger and the tireness... i have no appitite!!! i cant finish my lunches and didnt have my dinners! (stop asking if i slimmed down... i didnt.. hahaha... 20 over yrs de hard work is nt fake one.. 不是说减掉就减掉的！！) hahaha..

yes, my boss went crazy... n anyhw shout at me, blaming me this blaming me tt... scolding me this, scolding me tt... it was a mental torture for the whole week!! no one will understand hw i REALLY feel till u REALLY in the situtation urself... and of coz... those who r working with him will understand too... n guess wat... i got 'nice' colleagues who LOVE to allow me to tok to my boss coz she is afraid of getting scolded.... damn it rite?! toopid lor... n her fault become my fault!!!!! i scolded her for a few times liao... but it is NOT enough to compensate the mental torture i got for the week!!!!

finally i cannot tahan on fri, esp when he shouted at me across the office! i shouted back... but as usual... tyl cannot get angry without crying... so i cried... n ran off to my office...

then i was quite glad coz i got REALLY lovely colleagues at the same time... yan yan came down n acc me... and tok to me... then my china guys actually tried to console me... esp mr xue.. he was juz like a big bro... then mr kelvis wasnt there when the incident happened... but when he heard.. he came down to my office to find me too... yan yan was telling me jokingly... wah... though no cp and ofm console u.... still have her... haha... actually... got kelvis and yan yan in the office is the only consolation... I LOVE THEM!! hehee...

then another china guy, mr min... he tok to me over the net.. coz he was at the old site.. didnt noe wat happen... juz heard frm others... but he too... like a big bro... coaxing me.. hahaha.. suddenly i got big bros wo!! hahaha

yes.. my boss after tt tried toking to me... (when he feels happy lah...) i juz answered him necessarily... other than tt.. i juz went off... i told darren... i think i've shield everyone frm all the scolding frm him for the week le lor...

SG is a small small place...

guess who i met juz nw when i went out for steamboat dinner at bugis with yan, jimmy, irene and kelvin?!
yes, it is tt DESMOND who had disappeared completely in my life...
i saw him when he was queuing up to go up the escalator. i saw him then, but decided nt to call him.
However, 人算不如天算, i was being pushed (bugis at tt time was very crowded)... end up i went up on the escalator at the same time...

i was still considering to call him anot... but then end up.. being polite.. i tapped him.. he turned n look at me.. he stunned...

Desmond: eh..
TYL: ....
Desmond: heheh.. how come u r here?
TYL: y cant i be here?
Desmond: (laugh... those very PS laugh... like when i caught him red handed tt kind of laugh)
TYL: (took out hp and call)
Desmond: laugh...
TYL: y r u laughing?
Desmond: nth (passing uneasy signals)
TYL: ... (tok on phone... asking where yan was)
Desmond: ....
TYL: i go le.. see ya.. bye
Desmond: bye...

2-3 mins the most..damn weird.. for those who were curious.. he was alone...
y do we have to become like tt?!?! i dunno.. i only noe... i dunno hw to treat it as nth happen anymore...
n i think.. i'm starting to hate him... (or nt?)... SIANZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!

00:00 31st Aug 2009, Msia National day..
at this pt of time, there were fireworks opp my blk.. yes... a whole stretch of fire works... but either due to the economic downturn or due to the fasting mth for Muslims... it wasnt as 'crowded' as past years... 'crowded' means the a lot of fireworks...

anyway, life have been quite bz with my daily routine... Work, then tuition then sleep then work again, then tuition then sleep then work again.... goes on and on and on till fri... the only difference is tt i have taking cabs home after tuition... hahaa.. sianz.. my $$ have gone to cabby's rental fees... anyway, y did i take cabs nw?

1. I'm damn tired... lazy a) to walk to interchange and b) to take bus to interchange then change to my bus again

2. last time, on my way back... i can chat on phone or gossip/bitch till i reached home... but nw... my phone kakis either sleep early, or too bz with sch work or out for fun... so dun wanna disturb them... the only phone kaki tt can chat with me till wee hrs, had disappear completely frm my life...

3. shorten the time of being alone, can shorten the time for my mind to run wild.. then i can throw myself at my lappy then play till i dozed off... meaning i can spare my mind frm thinking of those 有的没的...

on thurs and fri, i went to attend a ISO 22000 internal auditor course... n got noe to a few different ppl... i was being arranged to be sitted in between 2 BIG guys... i mean big hor.. like lcm like tt (minus tt big round tummy.. oops... sorry... i mean.. aiyah.. u all imagine lah... ) they are chefs.. but nw come out n open a factory on their own.. supplying fresh veges/salad to food chains like subway.. n when they told me tt.. i stared.. they dun look like vege guys.. they looked like buchter.. ahaha.. ok.. cannot be so bad.. they are nice friendly giants... hehe.. to my surprise.. they were actually looking at buying our this sold factory.. but they told me the price was too high.. so end up didnt buy... then their consultant is same as mine.. small world rite? hahahaa

then noe another guy, a young boy frm msia (i only noe tt he is younger than me after 2nd day), he is a manger in subway chain... he is someone full of ideas and ambition... guess wat.. he paid for himself to go for this course (his coy nt sponsoring him... the course fees cost over $700 even after rebate frm govt for coy who send employees for courses)... he told me.. he shld upgrade himself... learn more things... so even gotta pay for himself.. he oso dun mind... he oso cant find job after grad (yep, he juz grad frm local uni), then working temp as manager in one of the subway chain.. aiming to go into his field of study, or HQ of subway to become auditior... amazing sia.... he is 3 yrs younger than me lor..

then a girl frm Mymmar who is comfortable speaking in Mandarin and her own language.. but understands english... she studied law in Mymmar but work as admin and qc in SG SME... yet she dun mind.. she say lawyer is a very stressful job...

then an uncle, who is expert in almost all the certifications... he is my idol sia... he like soooo familiar with audits... can tackle auditors easliy and noe a lot of procedures at the back of his hand... (we have role play and workshops)..

Now i slowly like to go for courses alone le... coz i get to know sooo many different kinds of ppl... and different ways of thinking... interesting lor...

ok... upcoming week will be a SUPER DUPER BZ week for me.. coz y? XIN JIE's wedding and my coy 7th mth praying session is on the same day.. FRI!!! so need to help in preparations at office (for 7th mth) and at home (for xin jie wedding)... *excited* hehheheee oh ya.. n oso need to pack my stuff liao.. gonna shift!!!!

刚看完一本小说，小说的某一篇就这么说道：

"如果能说忘就能忘；能放就放，那么，你其实还没真正爱过。真爱过一个人，不是说放就放得了、说忘就忘得掉。
记忆只能逐渐淡忘，不能完全抹灭"

我在想我一直叫我周围的朋友不能 ‘刻意忘记’，因为这样会更难忘记。真的是，说得容易、做得难。我发现，我自己其实也陷入了那 ‘刻意忘记’ 的阶段。

因为当你经过你们曾走过的路、做着你们曾做过的事、听着你们曾拥有过的歌；都会让你不经意的回想起当时快乐的时光、 曾说过的话。然后眼泪就会不知觉的填满眼眶。纵使你身边有很多很多的人在帮你制造很多很多别的记忆，都无法替代那一段回忆。
就是因为如此，不想再让自己那么狼狈、不想再让自己看起来那么窝囊、更不想让自己这么痛苦，所以选择 ‘刻意忘记’。

三、四年前，曾经有过这段痛苦阶段； 如今又回到这里。可笑的是，竟然是为了同个人！明知道会有这样的结果，还是放纵自己。能怪谁？怪只能怪自己不够意志力。他变得更温柔、更体贴、更细心，那又怎样？！只要意志力强，这些都不会让我动摇的。不过，我没有，所以动摇了，然后再次掉入深渊，结果又到了现在这里。

我很想、很想只当他一辈子的好朋友。在他需要人的时候陪伴他、在他无助的时候支持他、听他诉苦、陪他笑、看他认真做着一件事还是听他说着那些无厘头的歪道理。不过我做不到；我根本就没有自己想象中的那么伟大。我们之间已没有‘纯友谊’了。

"所谓‘纯友谊’，是当男女双方都没有人在潜意识之下跃过名为‘友谊’的界线；若有人不小心越界，那‘纯友谊’ 就不可能存在了。"（这也是从我刚读的小说里的一句话）

上一次，是他选择逃避，所以消失。这一次，是我选择放弃还是他选择离开？我也不知道，但也是不重要了。因为事实就是：他再也不会回来了。我们再也回不到过去了。

也许，这一次我需要一段很长很长的时间。不过，不管是一个月、一年、十年还是一辈子，我相信这段记忆会慢慢被我淡忘掉的。我只想请周围的朋友不要一直逼我一定要马上忘记、也不要一直说他到底值不值得。因为这样不帮会帮我淡忘他，反而会让我更想他。

可能，我会突然间静静的望着前方，不发一声；这是因为我在哀悼我一段栽下种子却发不了芽的爱情和一段我亲手杀死的友情。。。。。。。。

Random stuff of my life....

Was too sianz to work... so took a photo of my desk....

My tortoise family, an elephant with shoes frm Holland, and a kangaroo frm DPex... of coz... nt to 4get my doraemon pencil holder and my new addition, doraemon's correction tape... with my comp desktop wallpaper - Saiyuki (anime)... hahahaha


Above the desk, where my deskjet is... stood a Dpex bear and a little bear in cage (Courtsey frm Kelvis, he say tt bear 浸猪笼

Went to see Cheryl @ TTSH, then had dinner @ Curry Flavor in Novena Sq. It was abt 2045, and the last order for the ala carte buffet was 2130.. guess wat, Yan Ting, Yan Ling and Shwu Yann actually ordered the ala carte buffet.. and we ordered like we 10days never eat... SY was soooo shocked tt we can eat so much.. she say she will have nightmare lor... Her shi liang is damn small lor.. hahaa.. so end up is me n yt.. hahhahaa...

A table full of food!!


A happy YT with all the food... in the end we didnt finish.. NOT tt we cant finish wo.. is tt they wanna close liao.. so we have to go..hahahahaa

As our yt is on her new proj.. she got a new pattern on her hand....

Can notice the different color tones?? this is the result of her new proj.. hahahaha

Then today, Ivan had craving for Mac, we meet up with Xinjie then go King Albert Park for Mac.. dun ask y we go so far.. CWP oso got... this is us lor... ahahhaa.. Upon hearing the gd news frm lyn.. we went down to her hse after dinner.... and of coz.. did not miss the chance of playing with little sherlina....

Upon seeing this, it just make ur day! hahahaa...


Personally, i like this... soooo like Baby of the Month, tt type of pic...


The star... hehe

Lyn, mommy say since this time round is so different frm your 1st(as in the vomitting part)... this might be a boy wo... hahahhaa... :p let us noe when the time come... see we guess correctly mah... :p

This is a nice song from Z-chan new album... He had rest for abt 3 yrs b4 coming up with this new album. I like this song 暗恋 which happen to be the same name as his new album... lyrics are meaningful... nice nice...

《暗恋》 张智成

四目交接的时候不要停留太久
适可而止的问候关心不能太过
好奇也别去探索妒嫉只能深锁
如果忍不住寂寞也不能对你说

啊好朋友啊我的好朋友
不小心的沉默不想让你太难过
我们就站在落地窗的两边
就算触碰也有了界限
如果跨越过彼此那道边界
是靠近还是更遥远

相信我们走到另一个境界
搭肩高唱友谊万万岁
要是我爱你变成了语言
甚麽会多一些甚麽会少一些

就让别人去猜测我们清白的很
就让自己去承受那种清白的闷
就算我只是朋友能不能有要求
如果会发生甚麽也是我想太多

啊好朋友就只是好朋友
不小心说出口微笑中藏著难过
我们就站在落地窗的两边
就算触碰也有了界限
如果跨越过彼此那道边界
是靠近还是更遥远
你会不会也曾闪过这感觉
一念之间就要差一点
要是我爱你变成了利剑
甚麽会被消灭甚麽才会复原

那是我的底线继续将你暗恋

Mystery solved! hahaha.. found out le....
it is daniel!! really is daniel....hahahahaa....
He bought this b4 he went Aust, then we had no time to meet up... so i guess he left it in SG and ask someone to send it to me when my bdae is nearing... hahahaa

hw did i find out? coz i saw his nick abt nearly lost his life on the road in Aust, i went to ask him wat happen... he saw my DP...then he said 'oh.. so u've recieved the bookmark'....hahaha... everything solved... he say it meant to be a bdae surprise for me.. but came abit late.. but still.. i was suprise.. wahahaha.. THANKS DANIEL!! u r SSOOOOO SWEET!! hehehe

Went with my 5g1u + yt - lyn to Keppel country club/ keppel club for DIM SUM!!! hehee... My grp noe me best!!! hehehe

yum yum... hehehee.. thanks guys! hehhee

Then after tt went cine watch The Haunting in Connecticut with Ivan... Finally, someone is willing to watch horror shows with me!!! 旧爱还是最美！！ I dunno y nobody wanna watch with me lor.. I SWEAR i didnt scream!! hahahaa...
ok.. like the story... got meaning de... apart frm the scary part.. hehe

After toking to my jiu ai.. made me realised... y shld i be sad?! i mean.. i can laugh n tok abt the memories we had.... haha.. jiu ai say, both of us dunno wat we want... so is dragging.. then he oso say.. since i cant see future with him... then let go... coz no pt holding on.. (ok..i think ppl tell me this for more than a thousand times... ok.. it is me.. hahahaa)
jiu ai didnt force, didnt comment, didnt reprimand me.. juz listen n advice... (ok... mayb coz he is oso somehow similar to him?? when come to handling these types of stuff?? )... well... he always has his own way in seeing things... hahaa.. no matter wat.. THANKS JIU AI!!! i love u the most lah.. hahahaa

ok.. nw it time for u ppl to help me solve the mystery...
i recieved a present from the mailbox... n this person did not write down his/her name (dunnO is blur or purposely de)... my mom threw away the envelope liao.. so cant show u all the handwritting.. left only the present...


I've tried to narrow down the search... who noe i love tortoise and is being called TYL

Those who noe my full address
Yan Ting (but i dun think she will be tt 'free' to do this type of things)
Cheryl (handwritting looks like hers.. but she say she didnt send)
Yipei (she is damn bz with sch work.. so i dun think she got the time.. plus handwritting nt hers)
Wenying (she is tooo stress with her sch too... no time to even chat on phone.. moreover, she is nt clever enough to get ppl to write the address de...nt possible)
Simin (erm.. she doesnt look like someone who will send mysterious gift.. haha)
(still got who.. i dunno le leh)

Those who i think will do this type of surpries..
Ivan (but he swear tt it is nt him this time)
i really cant think of anyone else...

aiyo.. this mail is SG de... so cant be xiaohua.. or daniel... (wait.. daniel told me he wanna gimme sth.. but got no time to meet me... but then he left for Aust on the 4th liao leh... )
i dun think is any of the guys.. so ppl... help me think1?!? hehee

My bdae is over, but celebration cont'd!!

Meeting my 5G1U plus YT on the 19th Jul
then China guys (only left 2. haiz) on the 18th...
then the poly frens (nw they are slogging.. hahaa.. studying for exams) + little boys gang on the 25th...

Oh well, so it wasnt tt bad after all... i mean.. i noe all my frens love me... though they always 'act' heck care me.. wat more can i ask for, rite? so wat if there r some idiot dun even put me in the any part in their heart? i'm still well loved!! hahahaa.. (ok... 我在自我安慰, but still...THANKS TO ALL MY DARLINGS!!! :P)

Went to the zoo with Aeddan and Darren and Cheryl on wed... hehee.. Thanks ivan for his help to get the card for us.. if nt, the entrance fee is damn ex lor... whahaha... *muackz*... look out on FB for the pics.. darren will put it up (soon, i hope?) wahahaa...

sianz... tt day got a fren asked me 'so hw long u gonna celebrate this yr?' i stunned... n think n tell him 'seems dun have leh'...

Till nw, i'm booked by my coy+frens on the 10th (cheryl's farewell), and my jiu ai is trying his very best to organise one meeting for the 5g1u+yt grp... (thanks jiu ai... coz i think u r bz with ur classes still wanna think of this... )
i dun even need to cancel my tuitions... i juz continue... seems so bz yet it is not bz with my bdae... my poly gangz all bz with sch... so no time, then others are bz with work... i'm oso bz with hhx wedding...
even wanna have a meal with my family oso need to postpone...
y m i complaining?! it is not as if everyone is bz purposely... but juz.. i oso dunnO... wanna whine...

with tt old woman gimme tt face!!! i'm juz wondering.... i didnt go pray a long time liao izzit?! offend ppl till i dunno... btw, i'm easily agitated recently.. *pms*?? i oso dunnO... but if u happen to hear one of my irritated voice... and wat... please dun take it at heart...

it is the 1st of jul!!!! had my experience in shanghai, hangzhou. things are ex, ppl nt very friendly, air is polluted, fashion - erm... nt very nice (i wonder y, they shld have nice nice clothes). n most imptly, it is sooooo warm!!! wat the diff with SG??? haiz...

then stayed in 5 stars hotel in Hangzhou, DAMN COOL LAH!!! nice nice, so comfy.. i can really stay in hotel whole day lor... then in back to Shanghai, stayed in a 5 star service apartment, heard tt it is opened by a s'porean. it is highly sercure lor... u need to have a key card to go onto the lift. n it only allows u to go to the level u living in. there are a lot of foreginers who r working in Shanghai living in this place... this serivce apartment got a mini kitchen too...

i'm soooo sick n tired of chinese food lor... the KFC (chicken is NICE!! but other than tt.. all CMI), n i craving for all my western and jap and thai food... but then again.. go china eat jap??? go china eat thai!?? hahaha...

too lazy to post photos up.. wait till i free k?? i dunno wat m i bz with.. but i seems to be very bz lor... wahahhaa...

PPL, i'm almost fully booked le leh... book me in advance hor if u all wanna meet me... wahahhaa.. i shall list out the schedule for ur ref. ahhahaha (follow my jiu ai style)

1/7 - tuition till 2200
2/7 - tuition till 2200
3/7 - tuition till 2100
4/7 - BBQ with expo promoters
5/7 - preparing for Huixian's wedding (Evening is free)
6 to 9/7 - tuition till 2200/2100
(if wanna book me muz tell me in advance, so i can make arrangements with my students)
10/7 - booked by my cheryl darling
11/7 - booked by my family
12/7 - HHX Wedding

:)

b4 i flew, we agreed to meet.
he was late as usual. This time round, he was late with a reason - he was looking for tt Me-to-you bear for me! (he told me he had a hard time choosing... nw i oso wonder.. if he wrapped it up himself oso mah.. coz it was sealed with carton tape instead of normal scotchtape)

when he gave it to me, i was stunned. though it was written on the bear 'special fren', i'm still touched... he told me those 'speical love', 'love 4eva' sounded so mushy and so unlike him... so he dun want. n he say i got enough of pink stuff... so he got me a green sweater de... he say, 见熊如见人... hahaa.. coz i'm not coming back frm Shanghai...

he is irritating, annoying, toopid, idioticm and act as if he dun care at times... but i really think he is cute in his own ways.. and silly... sometimes... i really dunno wat to do with him...