我好笨！为什么他一次一次地说出空话，我还一次一次的相信他？今天，就好像一巴掌把我打醒：陈燕玲！你还在做什么梦？醒来面对现实！

他伤心、彷徨时，一通电话就能找到我。因为我会一直在的。我需要人陪，听我诉苦的时候怎样都找不到他。为什么要被伤了那么多次才发现自己在他的心里其实连一根草都不如？我只是一个能被利用的大傻瓜，一直在这里笨笨的守护着他。我也是人！我也需要有人依靠的时候！！

有人问我，他会来找你吗？我很肯定地说会，因为他会需要我的帮忙。他真的来找我，不过，并没有要我帮忙。他说他最近很忙，等他忙完了，我们出来吃顿饭。我等。一个星期过了，他没消息。我无所谓，只是失望。那天，我好需要一个人陪时，sms, msn, 都找不到他。我也无话可说。后来，他又来找我，先是为他的忙碌而向我道歉，然后说这星期一起出来吃饭。我等，再等。没有他的消息。我以为他忙到忘记了要meet 我的这一回事。所以，我又再次笨笨地 sms, msn 他，然后等。结果，他什么回应也没有，连一个简单的‘我很忙’都懒得跟我说。

他又再次的闹失踪，我又再次的空等。朋友需要做到这样吗？这算是朋友吗？没用的我，又再次因为他而掉下眼泪。这次我真的真的好绝望，我真的想当做从来都没认识过这个人。他又把我当朋友看待吗？我为什么要一次又一次地在他需要人的时候在他身边，给与他最大的鼓励？
或许，真的应该回到当初的陌生人吧。。。。。

It is 0300... n i still not sleepy... y? coz i slept the whole day... woke up at noon... rot n slack at home whole day.. slept again.. wake up.. then go sleep again... no one ask me out.. lazy to go out oso lah... then finally.. xian ask me out.. wahaha... rot at cwp at night lor..

anyway, recently... dunno y.. not in very gd mood.. y? i wish i noe... haiz... ok.. i noe... he is back... he came back into my life... create a whole mess... ok.. i noe is me.. problem lies in me... i shldnt let myself get involve.. i shldnt allow myself fall into the trap again... ppl warned me... yet... haiz... i'm used to not having him in my life.. y he appear again??? y m i so lousy??? get shaken so easily.... i tot i already kan kai le... but y? y when he is back to the ignoring mode... i felt so terrible??? damn!! i really hate myself!!

TH told me.. 重新得到，会再失去，那么宁可别重新得到。因为会再次尝试失去的痛苦. true lor... tt's y i'm afraid.. i'm afraid i fell back in again... then hurt all over again.. i was careful.. but still... 感情的事，真得不能用理智来处理。

曾经，你有一样东西，不过后来因为某种原因你失去了；你痛哭了好久。后来，你又莫名奇妙的找回，可是却也莫名其妙的再次失去；那种痛真得无法形容。最可悲的是这次一滴眼泪也掉不下来。会哭才不会那么痛苦，可是真的这次怎么也哭不出来。也许是知道根本一点也不值得、也许因为麻木了、也许忘了怎么哭了。

haiz... suan le... i can pick myself up last time.... this time i oso can de... i'm tyl.... i can de

I'm 23 yr old le!!! wahahaa....
Old liao... haiz... this yr bdae... ok lor.. quite low profile... wahaha... 1st... on the 9th jul, went out with my poly gang. Sing KTV with YP, LY and TH... (finally tt TH willing to pick up the mic and sing.. hahaa)... then we met up with YH, Zac, KG, WY... for a late lunch.. shop abit.. n go take photo card.. hahaa... photos will be up soon at my multiply page... go see ba... but then muz wait for YP to send me some more... wahaha...

then on the 10th.. went out for dinner with my family at this unknown restaurant... wahaha... trust my mom to find this type of lobang... got offer.. n got free cake for bdae celebration... wahaha.. well.. it's international buffet.. overall the food.. is Fair.. service is gd.. cake mah... fair lor... wahaha... the cake photo will be up in multiply oso lor.. wahaha...

Then on the 11th... ACTUAL DAY!!!.... haiz.. work as usual.. go tuition as usual... stunned when a lot of unexpected ppl sms me... wishing me... wahaha.. then tot this yr.. mybdae will be like tt pass quietly... who noes... when i reached home after tuition... i saw cheryl n yh at my hse... asked them how come at my hse... they tell me coz yh comp spoil.. come my hse use comp... ahaha.. when i go into my room... my whole bed is filled with Doraemon stuff lor!!! haha.. i scremed sia.. wahhahaa... cheryl the best lor.. wahhaaha.... coz sure is her idea de.. yh wun think of buying me doraemon de... hee (photos up in multiply... muz wait for cheryl send me photo 1st)... then by right i suppose to see JM once i stepped into the hse.. but well.. he late lor.. whahaha...

he reached at abt 11 sth.. wahahaa... after i cut the cake... btw yh made tiramisu sia.. NICE NICE!! wahahaa... anyway, i nearly gonna stop toking to JM if he 4got my bdae... hahaha.. but as i said... he reached at 11 sth... wahaha.... with champange chocolate for me!!!! hee....
Love my frens... best sia... muz thank JM, YH, Cheryl, my sis (for ganging up with them)... whahaa...
Thank yp n Ly for tt card... thanx CC for the tortoise... n my bro n marie for the shades, watch n doraemon hp chain.. hee... thanx daddy n mommy for the dinner.. n pei he my frens n yx on tues... wahahaa... though low profile... i'm still happy.. :P

5th July 2006 - My Graduation... Had to wake up early in the morning, go SP in formal attire. to recieved Dip... finally! Graduate le... seems so long.. yet so fast.. haha.. 3 yrs... as i say.. things happen... sad, happy, sweet, exciting, angry, nervous, funny... u name it.... i think i had the most interesting life in poly sia.. haha

as usual.. ceremony muz start off with ppl coming in n sit down...'with a little drama - i slipped n fall when walking down the stairs... to find my mommy... MALU!!!! wahaha.. and guess wat... my heels broke.. wahaha... n so nice... 2 broke at the same time.. so i no need worry 1 high 1 flat.. wahaha.. coz both become FLAT! ahaha'

back to the ceremony... then we waited for the guest of honour (some ppl frm dunno where.. but i sure nt frm spore)to come in.. everyone stood up.. sing national anthem.. then sit down.. allow the guest of honour to give speech... which almost 99.9% of it i didnt listen.. 1stly.. his ang mo too powderful for me to understand.. next. was smsing yp who was sitting at the other corner of the convention center... wahaha.. and oso smsing TH.. who was sittiing beside me... with one stranger in between us.. wahaha... so how to listen?! wahaha

then finally.. start to give out dipolma le.. see one by one go up take... wah.. really scare i go up on stand malu myself again by falling down. whaha.. but lucky no have.. wahaha... phew..

then finally got dip le.. ceremony ended with a graduate giving a speech.. which i didnt hear 99.9% of it.. coz i was bz toking to zac.. who changed his seat to beside me... wahaha..

we went out of the convention center.. my cute mommy n sis.. rush off to get the reception stuff... (their main motive to attend this ceremony is due to FOOD!!!!)... anyway, cant find them anywhere.. (ok. i too lazy to find them.. coz i noe where will they be... ) we these few crazy ppl started to take photo lor.. Y-gangz... W.X.Y3,Z... with lecturers.. wahaha... with my lao da.. blah blah blah... (photos will be up when yp sent me... she nt send me yet)

after tt .. went to JP had fish n co with yh, wy, yp... gossip... tok... rot.. wah.. long time never like tt le wo.. whaha... then at night went to highlight my hair.. wahaha.. my salon is call YP.. but nt my yeepei lah,... i 4got wat it call le.. hehe... nw i look like ah lian(quoted frm TYX!!!)

July.... It marks the 1st anniversary of this blog.. one yr le.. it had accompany thru my ups and downs.. July... oso my graduation mth... July.. is the most enjoyable mth every yr.. hope this yr oso the same... hahaa...

Today, had a long tok with mommy, yw and yx... they told me they find me wierd wierd... they say i changed... i become very moody, very short tempered... mood swings... i tot i always like tt de??? i blur... they say sth is bothering me... and i didnt say out.. but wat? i oso dunno.. coz i think nth is bothering me leh..

yw tell me.. i can bluff every1 in the whole world but cant bluff ownself... but i really dunno wat is bothering me... the he say mayb is sth i deemed as nt impt... so put it at the back of my mind.. but subconciously it already affected my emotion??? wah.. then this i really dunno le...

mommy told me... wat's bothering me shld be so r/s prob and not frm my work... i more puzzle.. how come i got r/s prob.. n i dunno.. then they say i have to go find out myself wat is the prob.. n solve it.. she say i keep alot of things to myself.. i bottled everything up... then one day i sure outburst.. then really jia lat le...

haiz.. i tok so much... yet they say i bottled eveything up.. mommy say.. coz wat i say de... nt really frm my bottom of my heart de ... i say out de r nt impt de lor.. hmm... izzit?? i oso dunno... whole day i've been asking... wat's bothering me?? coz i so short temper.. yx say is my frens.. coz in sch i too dependent on my frens emotionally.. so nw at work le.. i dunno where to depend on.. coz all bz with their own life.. haiz.. si mah?? i oso dunno... dun think so leh.. haiz..

dunno dunno. dun wana think le... suan le...

Finally!! i gotta watch World Cup le.. without cable TV... wahahaa... Thanx to LCM wo.. wahaha.. i gotta watch Brazil le!!! hee...

Anyway, very tired lor... not enough sleep.. partly due to world cup.. hee... however i started to wonder... shld i cont'd my classes mah.. very tiring.. n class is not cooperating... n not improving.. quite demoralising lor... sianz... i started to wonder.. if i cant teach well or they juz dun get it.. haiz... but if i no teach.. sure not enough $$ de lor... how???

i suddenly wish tt there is someone beside me.. for me to lean on.. for me to rest.. for me to whine... however.. suan le.. depend on myself better... wahaha..

actually.. tt CC very gd to me... he is caring and nice... even every night sms me.. chase me to go sleep... dun mind listening me whining... (but then again.. the pdtn workers here.. like fei min oso listen to me whine de leh... wahaha) for one moment.. i really almost fall into the trap lor... but NO WAY sia... wahahaa... say i nationalism.. wahaha got this word?? i oso dunno... wahaha... anyway, i juz cant accept lor.. nor my family will.. nor my frens will... hahaa.. different culture.. different beliefs.. different thinking... wahahaa...

Yx saw feimin tt day... n she say he dun have the 'china' look.. wahaha.. n indeed looks like Toro.. n she was so excited abt it lor... OMG!! hahaha... she say born in early Oct de.. all so cute de... like her... *faint*

Nw really sian.. so not working... haha typing blog.. coz boss haven come in... hee... well.. but time to start work le.. or else i cant finish then jia lat le... so many projects waiting for me.. (-_-!)

Last night, went to SP auditorium for Simon's acapella concert.. once a yr event.. wahaha.. i will never wanna miss de concert... wahaha...

We are from Simon fan club de.. wahaha.. n my sis say she is the president.. wahaha... we bought a bouquet of flowers... (ok.. sunflower to be exact) for him.. wahaha... cool rite?? i love tt bouquet lor... for one moment i dun wish to give it to him sia.. wahaha... i told yp i shall keep it as my own.. wahaha....

saw a cool guy in his grp... he looks like those bad bad guy... as i say.. i'm attracted to bad guy de mah.. wahaha.. he is cool lor... :p

anyway, simon last time sing jeff chang's songs very nice de... though his chinese not gd.. always get the lyrics worng.. wahaha.. but still... anyway, i ask him muz arrange jeff's song... 过火 ... his style... wahaha...

i shall wait!!! hee...

This is my fav song now.. lyrics are meaningful... to me... enjoy ba...

感情线 - 183俱乐部
爱情魔法师电视原声带

我想我已开始有点疑惑 好像被他说中些什么
难道已经没有别的选择 只能乖乖的束手就策
难过的是我们做了选择 是对是错谁也没把握
如果要我放手才能获得 为何在我心中有舍不得

看着你要走还装著笑容 掩饰的脆弱要撑多久
如果现在开口如何挽留 感情这条线注定只能这么远

不敢相信已经来到终点 想你爱他必定多一些
我们之间不可能再回到从前 我还傻傻画着幸福线

看着你走远还继续装笑脸 掩饰折磨我能撑多久
如果现在开口怎么挽留 感情这条线注定无法延长一点

你已不在而我何时才清醒 相信一切都是命
不曾放弃你我不会说什么 默默的承受像个男子汉

看着你要走[看着看着你要走] 还装着笑容[多么多么笑容]
掩饰的脆弱要撑多久[还要撑多久] 如果现在开口[现在开口]
如何挽留[如何挽留] 感情这条线注定只能这么远
看着你要走[woo～]还装着笑容[we will carry on]
掩饰的脆弱要撑多久[knowing there were words i've never said baby]
如果现在开口[现在开口] 如何挽留[如何挽留]
感情这条线注定只能这么远[let the words remain unsaid]

Back from Genting.. 3 days get away.. quite relax lor... rest abit... haha... sleep alot... suddenly.. really old le lah.. cant tahan too late.. bu ren lao oso cannot ar.. hahaa... too tired... i was sleeping alone in the room everynight.. coz mommy n daddy in casino till 2 - 3 am..

didnt went into casino.. only one time when i went in look for my aunt... dun like it there.. coz very smoky.. i dun like smoke mah.. somemore not interested in gambling lor.. though can watch live soccer frm there.. but i rather go back hotel room watch lor... but still managed to watch only one match.. coz alone at hotel watch soccer... no fun lor... end up i slept.. wahahaa....

went outdoor theme park.. went crazy whole day with yw, yx, alicia, wq, hj and james... i was the oldest.. whahaha.. expected mah.. anyway, we sat in all the exciting rides.. and screamed like nobody's business... wahahaha.... though the 3 guys were really PS when we screamed.. wahahaa...

Wanna played Go Kart!.. guess wat! I WASNT ALLOWED TO PLAY... coz i didnt reach the hight limit!!! kaoz.. their limit is 1.53m.. and I'M 1.53m and my sis is 1.53m!!! and she was allowed to play.. i wasnt allow!!! kaoz.. my bro go tell the person.. 'she can drive real car cant drive fake car ar' still no use.. haiz... SO SAD!!!! KAOZ!!!!

Love my nephews.. so cute.. haha.. i changed my mind in going genting was coz of them mah.. wahahaa..

anyway, this time round.. though did not feel lonely.. as with tyx they all never a dull moment.. however... miss my kakis lor.. go anywhere, or everywhere, i will imagine.. if my kakis here.. wat will we do.. how will we react.. where we will go.. well.. mayb next time my dreams will come thru.. right KAKIS!? hahaa... haha

did alot of thinking thruout the trip... coz got myself into quite a mess ba... didnt really noe wat was i thinking anyway... got too close with CC le. i think... i was all along treating him as a fren.. normal lor... like how i treat my other frens... but think signal went out wrongly.. *pray hard tt i'm wrong*... hope i wun landed in trouble..

Coz we passed our audit, so boss decided to treat the whole factory KFC.. we ordered le hor.. abt $180+ lor.. wahaha.. fei min they all say eat chicken nt full.. n say wanna burger.. so i purposely ordered 6 more burgers... 饱死他们!! wahahaa...

then asmine say she wanna treat the night shift de ppl. but dunno how. coz tt night she got sth on... so she cant stay back and wait for the delivery. so she wanna the night shift ppl go buy then claim frm her. but then till 1815 she still haven call them. then she was in a rush.... she say go ask chun chen buy lor... but when she called, he didnt pick up. so i suggest i'll help her find them lor. (hey, i did it out of helpfulness ok... no other meaning)

so she gave me his no. then went off.. i called him, he juz woke up.. so when i gave him instruction.. he damn blur lor.. i was on my way back home oso lor.. so ask him meet me under his blk.. i follow him go... (hey... dun think i did on purpose).. anyway, he asked me to call him when i finish work.. i told him i can go home le lor.. he stunned... wahaha... so when i reached my bus stop, i called him to come down...

when he came down.. i saw him smoking.. i very disappointed.. coz he is the only one i tot no smoke de!! haiz... anyway, he pulled me cross the road to the coffee shop.. n say treat me dinner.. i say dun want.. but he inisisted.. i say dun want.. i wanna go buy kfc then go back.. he still pulled me over and say muz be full 1st...

he inisisted tt if i really no wanna eat.. he oso dun wanna eat... then i of coz acc him lor.. coz he need to work overnight leh.. no eat how can.. so end up he treat me a cup of lemon tea and he ate his dinner... then we walked to central to buy kfc.. on the way.. we fight, bicker and chat.. haha...

then when reach central.. i saw a dog.. i stunned.. i pushed him to walked in front of me.. and pulled him in a way he was standing between me and the dog... who noes.. that dog.. walked towards me!!!! i nearly cry lor.. tmd.. cannot so 丢脸... haha.. i pulled him and walk damn fast.. he asked i scared of dogs ar.. i juz nod my head lor.. he told me he got a big big dog back at home in china.. haha..

anyway, thru' out the whole duration he did not smoke at all lor.. so i dun understand y start when he is nt a heavy smoker.. hee.. aiyah... nv understand guys lah... wahaha

yt say i did eveything on purpose lor.. 趁机. i swear... no no no.. wahaha... i innocent.. hee..

Finally!! Audit over le... scary sia.. tt day went to office extremely early juz to make sure everything in place lor.. thanx to all my pdtn workers.. they clear the whole place to so neat n tidy till asmine and i tot we went to the wrong place... it was so neat n tidy.. wahahaa....

at 1st tot got guy auditor.. then asmine wanna me go sha jiao sha jiao abit.. who noes 3 auditors all female!!! n somemore is those female in their late 20s early 30s de... jia lat liao... hahaa... coz sha jiao dun work on female esp at this age range.. wahaha...

they really inspect every corner of the factory... and DAMN FLY!! dunno when flew in de.. when they inspecting our pdtn.. they saw fly!!! kaoz... wahaha

but in the end... we only for 4 minor problems... mostly on documentation (except for tt fly lor).. haha.. well... can relax abit.. coz we can have our 3 certifications renewed and with a A grade.. wahahaa...

Asmine gonna treat the whole company ppl with KFC tml.. hahaa....

I'm stress, stress and more stress... sad sad and sadder.. haiz... audit changed to 6th jun.. coz pdtn cant be in place in time... then paper work alot.. then everyday work till 7 plus lor... tue n fri muz rush to tution... wao lao...
suddenly i felt like got someone smile n tell me ' Welcome to the adult working world' haiz..

to make matter worse... i 4got to bring my hp out.. i damn sian lor.. coz hp is half my life leh... 4got to bring... haiz... the worst of all... he long time no contact me... then suddenly today come tell me he like this girl.. ask me how... haiz

though i knew abt this thing quite long ago.. still dunno y.. when come straight frm him... i felt.. wierd wierd? terrible? dunno how to describe... funny thing is.. i still have to give him advice.. tell him wat to do.. still have to laugh... haha

funny rite... i tot i 4got le.. 4got his presence.. but when he come find me... i was happy.. bt when he tell me abt this.. i'm glad.. coz when he got prob.. he come find me... sad coz... nvm nvm... i juz sian... wanna whine nia.. i ok de... yp.. dun need worry.. tyl nt so easy bei da dao de.. wahaha

i still got china man.. haha

为什么人总要等到失去了才懂得珍惜？为什么要等到某人离开了才发现他是最重要的？人都是这样吧。都不会也不知道珍惜。

Juz read a novel... story is similar.. she left.. he then realised tt he liked her all the time.. he left.. she then realised he is the most impt person... normally when some1 realised tt... is already too late... this is wat happen in the story... she fall for another person.. he then realise he liked her.... too late le.... 常常叫人一定要珍惜身边所拥有的一切，但有几个人真地做得到呢?

got someone asked abt my past relationships... i told them is very complicated.. so complicated till i too lazy to think.. so too tiring... Officially.. i got 1 r/s... but strictly speaking i got 2.. so how to define??? i oso dunno...

i got an unofficial yet hard to 4get de r/s.... the sweet times, the happy times... till nw.. i can still remember clearly.. nw.. when both of us r like strangers... i treat it as i dunno this person... but i still can remember everything... like it juz happened yesterday... his smile, his warmth, his hands, his crap, his childish behavior... i no longer expect to see this person again in my life.. but the memories... is sunk deep in my head...

i got an offical yet painful r/s... this is a typical example of timing... i've waited for so long for a response frm him.. yet wat i got back was hurt n more hurt.. finally.. i tot i got wat i longed for.. he realised my presence.. finally.. but... it came late... i was no longer waiting... i didnt realise it till much later... we tried.... end up... i cant give him wat he want.. he cant give me wat i want... but i never regretted... coz at least we tried... then i noe he is nt the one.. nw... we r still frens.. i'll never give him up as a fren... he is a great fren...

well dun even noe y i wanna write this.. juz feel like writing liao.. i wanna sleep le.... ever since start working... really very tiring lor.. cant tahan till late nights.. esp nw.. everyday bz like hell... due to the audit... haiz.....

Now is lunch time at work.. haha.. nobody in office.. except for me, ayhua and kelvis... dun feel like doing work nw lor.. abit sian...

last night was toking to xh on the phone... we r both working.. in the same position... though her comp bigger, so she got subordinates... then yp oso.. she got a job.. n guess wat...she is doing the same thing as me n xh...

Anyway, after chatting..i realise how much i.. no.. is WE missed sch days... sch days.. nt happy... dun go sch... cant wake up.. then go late lor.. 10 am class start.. 1030 then walk in.. whaha...go sch got ppl crap... got ppl lame... everyday is a new experience... coz surly got one cute chap, be it zac, yh, wj or kg... or even yp or ly or wy or xh... sure give one stunning move that can make us laugh or cry the whole day lor

Really miss the times when we y gangz work on an experiment together.. me n yh fighting... debating wat is rite.. or yp n yh being kan jiong spiders... or we 3 laming one another or laming teachers... wahahaa...

then miss the whole grp of 9 ppl.. where zac, kg, wj always suan each other.. then kg always self-destruct... then yp, zac laming... then sometime ly or xh suddenly lame ppl..tt stunt eveyone... wahaha... then if sad or nt happy or stress.. sure very fast 4get de...
haiz.. nw we all at different places... no meet everyday... miss them soooooo much.. haiz....

ok.. ppl come back liao... i better start working... wahahaa

almost one week no update le... haha.. tt chun chen still in the night shift... haiz.. sianz... then nw the only person i go crap is feimin lor.. wahahaa...

tt yp.. say how come she here cant find any shuai ge... but when i went thru the files... both of them were already here when she tt time worked here lor... hmmm.. either she dun bother to look at the guys here (coz think tt they all cannot make it.. coz she dun like..... haha) or mayb they at night shift.. so never saw them... or mayb.. she dun find them shuai... wahaha...

anyway, I M SICK!!! sianz rite? haiz... sick on a public holiday... then never mind... till nw still nt ok!!! kaoz... coughing like hell... haiz.. (though still went singing on Sun.. wahaha) JM scolded me lor.. sick till like tt still go sing.. wahaha... but wei le ktv... si dou yuan yi.. wahaha... damn blocked nose... sleep oso cannot sleep properly.. then very tired lor.. sometime how i wish got someone beside me let me whine.. wahahaa...but... haiz... suan liao.. haha

started on the idol drama Ai Qing Mo Fa Shi by 183 club de... this show yp they all long time ago already started to be crazy over it le.. i was not free mah.. so nw then start.. sure enough.. I M ADDICTED!! nw i noe... i still in love with 183... i never 4get them lor... haven bian xin... wahaha... MING DAO, SHAO WEI!!! SHUAI DAI le...

I said got 2 China guys in pdtn.. one is that fei min.. (Toro look alike) and the other is chun chen (always at warehse de).. i think alot shld noe by nw esp zac... if i starting say tt guy shuai.. n start to go crazy abt him.. i wun be very gd with him de...

so this is the case here... i only say hi n smile.. occassionally, tok to him only... nt as close as compared to chun chen... hahha... chun chen is my kaki in warehse sia.. go down there sure fight with him.. or bicker... or he bully me... so i like to go down there if i bored.. haha.. see him climb up n down like a monkey.. wahahaa...

fei min is a yr younger than me... shld be more than a yr lor... then chun chen is same yr as me... but he is a jan baby.. another capricorn.. wahahaa....

but.. haiz.. he was being transferred to night shift.. sadz lor... downstairs no one crap with me le... then this morning... he was preparing to go home le.. coz overnite shift.. i was downstairs waiting for water to boil to make acup of espresso fpr tasting.. he told me he kana sacked... i go kicked him.. then he heard me sneeze non-stop.. tell me flu muz drink ginger tea.... i faint.... then he give me tt *hehehe*smile.. (he noe i hate ginger tea lor).. i go kick him again..then he serious face tell me he is serious... wanna me go drink ginger.. or else flu got worse then jia lat... i made a face to him..he come bish me... haiz..see lah.. kaki not downstairs liao...bored to death le...

Work starting now.. but abit lazy sia.. sianz.. tired..
juz nw got war.. management VS salesman... juz coz of a joke.. haha.. haiz...
got nth to do nw actually...

haiz... drag till lunch time then can finish typing...

juz nw went downstairs crap with the workers again.. then hor... they bully de lor.. humph.. esp chun chen.. a guy who is same age as me lor... see me always knock my head... though i always go kick him lah.. wahahaa...
mommy say if i like tt crazy.. they sure nt respect me.. so wun listen to me... but i think otherwise *hopefully*.. hee...

tt day rot in cwp with wy n yp... hahaa... lame one another till dunno like wat... haha... like the feeling...girls.. next time come out more often hor.. to release all the lames tt accumulate in us at work... wahaha... at work hor.. no one appreciate the lame jokes de... hee..

feel like sleeping le... haiz.. nt eating lunch.. coz too lazy to eat... can imagine tt?! haiz.. guess wat they having today? KFC!!!! i still can say no...this is how lazy i'm.. wahaha...
sian liao...my whole office shake sia..like earthquake... coz downstairs roadworks i think...haha

This is the 100th entry ever since i changed to blogspot.. wahahaa...time flies wo... hee

today went to Expo in the afternoon with my lady boss, accounts and local sales manager. we had a booth in the Food Hotel Asia.. Boss and overseas sales manager already there le...

Food Hotel Asia is a big event in food and hotel industry.. this is an exhibition whereby all related companies including fd companies, instruments and equipments, machinery, even locks, pillows and beds, locks, safebox for hotels come together n show to the related industry wat they have... ppl frm food n hotel industry from world wide will come down n take a look...

if didnt register for an entry pass.. need to pay an admission tix of S$80 then can go in.. i heard le stun.. hahaa...

Cheryl started her internship at this sauces company call Sin Hua Dee... CHNG's KEE de sauce de..she is the mkting side de.. so of coz have to be there.. she had been sooooo bz... hahaa.. saw her at the fair today... she looked so professional... she is soooo.. dunno how to describe lor... juz feel tt she is so gd.. toking to potential customers in those biz like tone... make me admire her more lor.. love to see her in her formal.. coz she got those 女强人 de look... she is already pretty liao.. then plus the way she present herself.. n how she do things.. wao... even me oso can fall for her.. wahahaa...

then oso saw yixian... she is working in a cheese company... n helping Bakels (hope i got it right)... hahaa... as pretty as ever.. she is always capable... hahaa

see them made me feel tt i'm nt alone.. coz they oso working.. oso bz till siao... but juz dunno if they got kana scolded like me like tt anot? hahaa.. actually is nt scolding lah.. juz tt.. things were very chaotic in office.. then i had to run up n down frm pdtn... superior didnt give instructions properly... pdtn side nt tt free to entertain every little thing.. so me middle man.. kana frm superior... oso kana frm pdtn lor.. when pdtn supervisor shouted at me.. i nearly cried lor... coz nt my fault mah.. but can understand him oso lor.. he got so much to do.. yet upstairs nt organise.. pack liao then realise 4get this.. ask me go take.. then i went back up again.. she say 4get tt.. ask me go down take again... haiz.. the whole morning i juz run up n down can liao lor... ask her go take it herself.. she say i familar to pdtn.. get faster.. i new de mah.. a lot of things dunno put where.. then see pdtn so bz.. dun dare disturb... then cant find.. ran up n say cant find.. dunno put where.. then kana say.. hw come i dunno since i everyday at pdtn (kaoz.. i go check on the quality n hygiene de leh.. who cares they put wat at where.. haiz) bo bian then go ask pdtn supervisor.. then kana shouted.. haiz...

actually i dun blame pdtn supervisor.. coz he did wat he was told to do de.. is upstair tt one nt organise.. haiz.. when these things happen i'll go tok cock with the china men.. hahaa... similar age as me mah.. go tok cock abit.. 4get all the wei qu.. then go face the music again.. hahaa..

then lcm... haiz... i dunno him.. xian say we got lotsa misunderstandings... but wat can i do.. he no attitude.. i give attitude.. he attitude i more attitude lah.. haha... then nw he say he no longer care abt my things liao.. then say i no longer his fren. haiz... dunno wat to do oso lah..

I got a new mp3.. 512 MB for $90... so exciting rite??

Haiz, but yesterday... mp3 n hp decided to die together... n my water bottle aided in the suicide plan.. 1st.. water bottle broke... then water flow out... then it flooded my bag... n my mp3 n hp were in it...I WAS TRYING CLOTHES when the suicide plan happened.. haiz...

i was wondering how come got water dripped down in the fitting room.. when i looked closer... it was frm my bag.. i panicked!!! i quickly dived into my bag to save my hp n mp3 player... haiz.. they swallowed too much water in...

u tilted my hp side ways still can see water flowing thru the lcd screen.... n mins later.. my hp was in coma!!!!!! *sob**sob**sob*.... *whine**whine**whine*... mp3 initially got respond.. but oso slowly lose conciousness... the... beeeeeeep...beeep... went into coma oso...

last nite i brought my hp n mp3 back to TYX electronics doc.. doc siao ding dong aka dr tyx 1st operated on hp.. she said mp3 to young.. n somemore got warranty... so better dun ooperate 1st.. hp no more warranty liao.. can operate.. but prepared for funeral juz in case..

i was so sad.. y tt 2 wanna commit suicide?? y they so foolish.. everything can be resolved de mah... juz tok.. haiz...

then today.. i came back to TYX electronic doc... Dr Siao said hp might wake up anytime.. mp3, she is nt sure.. n guess wat.. my hp really woke up!! at the time 24 apr 2006 2300.. my hp woke up.. thought still got water injuries at the lcd screen there.. still.. it survived!!! hp dun bare to leave me.. haha.. i no need buy new hp le...

Dr Siao said.. mp3 still need to be under observations.. PRAY HARD.. dun let anything happen to mp3!!!

today rained damn heavily.. thunder storm... then when i reaced home.. i stunned.. my hse flooded sia... windows cant withstant the strong wind n heavy rain... water seep thru... enough to flood my whole room.. flood my bro's whole room n flood my living room.. omg!!!! lucky thing no tragic happen.. only piggy n doraemon were wet... but.. they were safe n sound.. as Dr Siao Ding Dong manage to save them in the nick of time....

Dr Siao Ding Dong.. only can do her best when she is siao.. she nt siao.. n say seriously wanna help u repair sth.. u better dun.. coz sure spoil.. when she siao.. n say wanna spoil ur stuff.. then by all means.. wahaha.. but better be tt sth tt has no more warranty better.. hahaa..

i going to acc my hp le... n go see my mp3.. i'm praying hard for my mp3 to wake up....

Juz for ur info.. my mp3 oso woke up.. at the strike of 12.. hahaa.. both of them come back to me le... hahaa.. SO HAPPY!!!!

Today 14th April 2006 marks the 10th yr of 5G1U!! hahaa... we meet up today.. but nt all present. lyn n ss werent here... tt made ivan sad lor.. coz 10th yr.. we still cant get the whole grp... but wat to do.. i mean they got their valid reasons... we cant help it de mah..

ivan, xin jie (she finally appear liao) and me went ktv.. then huizhu met us at the last half hr... sing liao went makan at sakae sushi... then went min ge chan ting.. hee.. nice place leh.. next time muz go again... but quite ex lor.. go everytime sure broke de...

the min ge chan ting is at Marina Square... call music dreamer (爱琴海).. nice place.. then today got Nick Shen (沈炜?) oso.. he is one of the singer... 1st time see him real person... haha.... nt bad wo... to think tt last time when he was in Star Search, i was his supporter all the way.. wahaha... anyway, we dian ge mah... then he ask who.. the we say us lor.. he ask wat does 5g1u means... anyway, at one pt he say 那堆朋友 blah blah blah...

he left after his session, he rushed off.. then suddenly got the pianist/guitarist of the 1st session came up to me telling me tt i got a call.. i stunned... how wld someone noe i'm here? n how come no call my hp.. call the place... at 1st i tot is a prank.. i tot ivan they all wanna play a prank on me lor... i went with him in suspicion.. then when i picked up the phone... it was Nick Shen...i more stunned... he said he wanna come n apologised juz nw after he came down.. for saying yi dui...but 4got abt it then rush off.. so call lor... i said nvm ar.. he asked us go again on the 27th.. coz he will be performing again.. hahaa... hmmm.. will go if free... :p

Today ivan n xin jie.. kept saying i no change at all.. say i muz change.. i muz improve, i muz go fwd... cannot always stagnant down there... hmmm.. actually quite chim leh.. i dun really understand wat they mean... izzit coz i too childish? or coz i like to fa hua chi too much?? anyway, i noe my frens.. esp my sec sch bunch.. cannot tahan me le.. even yt to a certain extend... wat aspect of me tt they dun like abt me... i nt very sure... mayb coz of my immature thinking?? or my fa hua chi episodes too many le??? coz i can only tink of these 2 tt ppl cannot tahan de..
i oso dunno wat to say... coz i already took up the responsibilities of wat an adult shld have de.. like earning n contributing to the family. i took up the role whereby i helped to share problems my parents facing.. i helped in guiding my nephews n nieces..

it's only at the relationship aspect i muz say.. i still very childish.. i still idolised... though i dun understand y ppl become adult cannot siao shuai ge... anyway, since this is norm.. then i think i consider i abnormal lor.. haha.. i hope to have sweet n romantic r/s which in real life.. u cant possibly have de.. i still tt diao er lang dang pattern.. dunno when then can settle down.. i always think of the impossible de.. n never be serious...

i dream.. always dream... i'm naive.. which even my sis oso worried abt me.. coz i go out sure very jia lat de.. mayb this is the part ppl dun like abt me ba.. dreamy, crazy, childish.. haha...

aiyah.. dunno lah... 23 liao.. nt young anymore.. how much time i muz waste then realised it's time to grow up? tt's wat they ask me.. n as i say... i dun understand which aspect u all asking.. izzit abt my future? if yes, i muz tell everyone.. i noe wat i wanna do.. i never be so clear b4.. currently this company is my stepping stone.. n after i gain enough experience.. i'll go n find a place where i can really advance... to cont'd study or not.. muz depend on my finacial status.. n if it is necessary mah..

if it's abt my r/s... i muz say.. at this pt of time i dun wanna think abt r/s... coz i dun see a need to.. though u all say frens wun be with u 4eva... u sure need someone de.. esp when i'm someone who is so yi lai ren de.. but this muz see fate de...though i admire ivan's courage... to fight for his happiness.. no matter how hard.. n he got it le.. hee... but for me.. shui yuan lah.. too many incidents to let me c the dark side of a r/s n how hurtful n destructive it can be.. hee...

mommy say is my behaviour.. hmm.. i must not jump up n down when toking.. muz behave like a lady blah blah... haiz.. so i say le.. coz u all didnt see me when i'm involve in serious stuff... (any events or at work) i'm wat u all consider as 'mature' de lor.. stand str.. tok like adult.. no jumping up n down.. i act everyday due to work.. last time was coz in sch i need to tok to the public during exhibitions n stuff n during mentoring events when those big shots ard.... so when i'm with my family, with my frens whom i consider closer de... i dun see the need to cont'd act somemore...

tell u ppl.. for me to become those demure gentle kind of lady.. is impossible lah.... bbut to tone down my loud nature... i try lor... as for my hua chi... if i tired le.. i'll stop eventually.. hahaa