梦幻乐园

MOVED

2011-09-28T04:03:00.003+08:00

bye to the blog tt had accompanied me since 2005..... 6 yrs.... been thru ups and downs... time to move on....
TYL's blog has moved to http://dreamystace.wordpress.com
yep... i've joined the wordpress gang..... see you there!

2011-09-26T01:15:00.001+08:00

It is a super long time since i last blogged.... woooooooo..... nw nw.. shld i change change my blog to wordpress? hmmmmmmmmmmmm

2011-08-07T21:03:00.002+08:00

July flew by, just like tt.... there goes my fave mth of the yr. Life have been great! Yes, sch work can be frustrating, assignment can be irritating, and exam can be annoying... however, I still love it! I loved my mth of celebration!

1st Jul 2011

My mth of celebration started off with meeting my super duper cute ex colleagues - Yan, Suping and Lihua. The 1st time ever, i went to Holland V without any intention to drink (alcohol)!

Had our dinner @ Everything with Fries. The bread taste nicer than the meat and of coz the fries are just NICE! Kelvis is juz being irritating for not turning up. IT IS OK! he is not being MISSED!

After tt we had coffee @ Coffee bean and that is the end of my 1st day of celebration

2nd Jul 2011

My dear Junming was leaving for his 2-yr backpacking trip on the 5th, so no matter what, we must meet up for my bdae b4 he left! So, me, junming and huixian met up for shakes @Once upon a Milkshake then dinner @Korean BBQ Buffet at Tanjong Pagar. The dinner place was PACKED! for $20, u can have pork, beef, bacon, mutton... YES, it is a meaty meal... and i realised tt even me as a meat person could not take it. but the food is... nice!

After dinner, we walked ard and found that there is a new beer place @Amara hotel call PRAGUE. Nice ambiance, the alcohol price is reasonable. a good place to chill! :)

3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th Jul 2011

I was home alone as my parents and sis happily went overseas for holiday leaving me alone at home chionging report. Good thing my kakis - Eric, Pina and Polly came over on the 5th (when my bro tooo went overseas) to do report tgt and Pina and Polly acc me for the night, so tt i would not be lonely!

8th Jul 2011

My massey classmates gave me n Elaine a HUGE celebration! it was a surprise! I knew sth was brewing but i didnt noe wat is it abt. n THEY accidentally found out my weakness and give me a hell of time by scaring me! GUYS, WAIT TILL YOUR BDAES!

they got me super nice presents and Doraemon cake! but i didnt know y i ended up spraining my leg.. and limped all the way.

After tt, i went to Sushan's wedding dinner @Hilton Hotel, and yep i was limping all the way. hahhaa... there was live band, it was soooo cool.. mayb i should keep tt in mind? hahahaha

10th Jul 2011

Due to my SPRAINED leg at a weird position, i cant go out with wenying they all. So end up, wenying, daniel, liyun and xiao hua came over to my hse and celebrated my bdae with me! We had lunch together and gossips!!! :)

After tt, my family and yanting and cheryl (my half family) went over to have dinner at Yhing Thai Palace. Cedric's Thai Restaurant, food is nice!!!!! love the fish maw soup especially! hahaa but need to start working b4 i can go eat again. i will sure go back and eat!! hahaha...

11th Jul 2011

My bdae! but i have to attend class and prepared for the test the next day... haiz...

14th Jul 2011

Had dinner with Jason, Jian xing, Eliza, Yanxin, Yanting and Harris. Crystal Jade Korean BBQ (again).... too much meat.. ahhhahaha....

15th Jul 2011

Hanging out tgt with the class clique. A celebration for me frm the clique. We had dinner at one ramen shop then rot in the Helipad. MY DEAR PINDA and ERIC, went to tell the live band to sing a bdae song for me, and i was being asked to go on stage. THANKS drinking buddies, I WILL REMEMBER IT! next yr, CAREFUL! hhahahhaha...

16-19th Jul 2011

I was rushing my presentations... crazy. coz i got a presentation on 20th.

21st Jul 2011

Finally! after much changes, 5G1U and Yanting finally met up for TYL bdae dinner. we had dinner at Jack's Place Civic center. Since it was so difficult to fix a dinner date, i die die oso attend even though i had another presentation to rush thru. (yep, i got another presentation the next day, haiz..)

23rd Jul 2011

Went for a spa and massage with yanxin b4 i start my revision on the coming exam.... Life....

and yep... revision for exam all the way... n it marks the end of my celebration mth!

2011-08-01T11:39:00.003+08:00

I got this article from Wenying's blog. It is so interesting, so i decided to share it. HEARTBREAK is scientific proven! Tt is soooo cool.... beware, it is super long but worth reading! :)

By Ashley Cox | November 14th 2008 09:52 AM

Heartbreak is more than just an emotional defeat; to some the pain is very real. At one point or another, everyone must experience this mind numbing feeling (unless you confine yourself to a house and never interact with even a pet) but that’s not the norm and you’re probably not reading this article if you’ve had that kind of sheltered life.

Heartbreak can be caused by many different circumstances and that’s what makes this emotion easily recognized by nearly every person on the planet. It can result from the loss of a loved one, a partner, a friend and even a close pet. Or it can be caused from disappointment, betrayal or a change from known surroundings. It might not even be a loss at all but a sense of loss, or the realization that the love of the person you care most for is drifting far from where it had always been.

Love, in the same perspective as heartbreak, neither has a corrective definition nor specific amplitude implied by the physical word itself. There’s a never-ending limit to the definition of love because there are so many things we love and in many different ways. There’s friendship love, love for animals and possessions, love for music or hey, even food. Then there’s that kind of love that is so overwhelming perfect, passionate and meaningful, a love that you have never before been able to achieve. This is the love we’re going to be talking about throughout this article, but before we can continue on, we must first understand why we as humans are constantly searching to fulfill this emotion.

Photo by Me! Isn’t it cool?

A part of the desire comes from what we find most joyful in life. If you search for this answer, and look upon previous actions objectively, it’s simple to say that we are satisfied by making others happy. We receive complete satisfaction from doing things for others, and this feeling increases with the intensity of love we feel towards that specific person or thing. When you lose someone you love, you have lost the sense of purpose acquired by the relationship between them and yourself. You lose the purpose you felt when doing simple things to make them smile, and making yourself joyful in return. The cycle should continue endlessly, but as we know that could only occur in a perfect world, which this is not. Heartbreak happens, and it changes who we are for the better (in most cases) and so will it be for the rest of our lives and next.

“We of course equate the pain of loss to the intensity of the love, but that is not what is behind the pain. The more you love and feel loved, the greater the increase of your sense of purpose because when you do something for just anyone and they do not appreciate it; your sense of purpose is not completely satisfied. It requires seeing who you are helping, and their appreciation to make it complete.” says personal developer, David Samuel.

Continuous searching comes from our need not only to self imply a purpose of being, but also to find the “one” that will make us feel needed, appreciated, and most importantly, well, loved. We act in some silly ways just to be able to have a someone that we can call our own. We act crazy, we do stupid things, and we make regrettable mistakes, but hey, that’s just falling in love. We start picturing the rest of days together, share every ounce of pointless information we can recall, and create a bond greater than ever perceived, all before a thought of those three little words comes to mind.

Photo also by me, with help from Jen in creating the heart…

The Physical Pain

Anyone who’s ever gone through the emotional pain of a heartbreak more often than not can express the experience through the form of some type of physical pain. Emotions affect physical health in more ways than many realize, but how does the body physically feel the emotional loss; in other words, what is it that brings pain to the heartbreak?

“Pain is the way the mind responds to trouble inside the body,” says Alex Zautra, a professor of psychology at Arizona State University. “Emotion is the same way. Whether you feel love or sadness is also a response to something you feel outside the body. With pain it is a closer-in response, to something inside the body, but it is a response in an attempt to learn about and motivate recovery.”

The depression caused by heartbreak creates a barrier that can prevent us from feeling and experiencing life to the fullest, in all aspects. Symptoms vary byindividual and range from withdrawal from society to
physical sickness and pain. You lose a part of yourself when connections are lost, and its not far-fetched to say that you feel completely empty inside. There’s an ache, a deep ache that erupts from the inside of our bodies longing for the past. The pain is real and there’s no other way to describe how bad it really hurts than to name it heartbreak. Its a longing for the past and the pain of feeling completely empty and abandoned. It makes it hard to get up in the morning and to get through the day, but all wounds are inevitably healed through time, and thus you hope for the future to approach quicker.

When a person feels secluded or feels loss, changes in the brain’s blood flow occur. The anterior cingulate cortex (responsible for regulating physical pain distress) becomes more active during these times. This is seen in victims of depression who also register physical pain due to the detection of nociception, which triggers a variety of responses, one which results in the experience of pain. People who are depressed or who are under extreme stress are more at risk to develop heart disease and other cardiovascular diseases based on research that found depression to help in thickening artery walls .

Although most pain of heartbreak is not that severe, it still has a profound effect on daily living. Symptoms of breakup might include loss of appetite, insomnia, headaches, stomachaches, nausea, a ton of tears, occasional nightmares, alcohol/substance abuse, depression, eating disorders, panic attacks, loss of interest, fatigue, loneliness and hopelessness.

The Stages of Heartbreak:
Someone who is dealing with heartbreak follows patterns similar to those of the stages of death

1.Shock and Denial- you may deny the reality of the situation; this provides emotional protection from feeling overwhelmed by the situation. The shock of loss allows a state of emptiness to move in, clouding most judgment.

2.Pain and Guilt-after the shock wears off it becomes replaced with suffering and unbearable pain. Regret for things you did wrong, or things that you weren’t able to do with this person adds to further tears. Life feels chaotic during this time, and its best to openly discuss feelings and stray from bottling up your emotions

3. Anger and Bargaining- lashing out is a common form of attempting to release all unspoken emotions. This is the stage where the “why why why?!” questioning comes in. The pleas for returned love run rapid, trying to bargain with fate or with the person who was just lost.

4. Depression, Reflection, and Loneliness- like everyone else in this situation, a period of sadness clouds and
absorb your entire sense of being, leaving feelings of emptiness. This feeling occurs when you finally realize and accept the magnitude of your loss. Isolation from people is exceedingly normal, and offers a time to reflect on the past.

5. Acceptance and an Upward Turn- The feelings of depression lift slightly and life becomes possible to survive without that person so deeply intertwined with each activity. The days are a little easier to shuffle through, and you see the possibility of continuation. The reality of the situation is fully accepted and, although happiness may not return for some time, the ability to move forward has occurred.

Can Heartbreak Occur- Literally?

According to studies on heartbreak and how it affects people, most of whom women, a connection can be found between emotional pain and a literal form of heartbreak- heart attack. Depression is documented to affect its host physically and so is the case with heartbreak. The emotional stress is harmful and is said to possibly be cause for what’s known as Broken Heart Syndrome, cleverly laid out in the picture below.

Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy is a sudden temporary weakening of the myocardium, producing something similar to a heart attack. When the body becomes overwhelmed, primarily due to stress, hormones such as metanephrine and normetanephrine are released in excess with addition to proteins such as neuropeptide Y, brain natriuretic peptide, and serotonin.

“Our hypothesis is that massive amounts of these stress hormones can go right to the heart and produce a stunning of the heart muscle that causes this temporary dysfunction resembling a heart attack,” says cardiologist Ilan Wittstein, M.D., an assistant professor at The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and its Heart Institute. “It doesn’t kill the heart muscle like a typical heart attack, but it renders it helpless.”

How to Mend A Broken Heart

The best thing for a broken heart is to be patient and allow time to settle all unresolved feelings. Talking about your feelings with friends or family help to smooth the passage of the loss, as will allowing yourself time to reflect on all feelings and answer questions you may have for yourself. Keeping busy with hobbies you’re passionate about and trying new things also keeps your mind busy during hard times. Get a group of friends together and watch a movie, or if you’re more to yourself, try a quiet walk through a forest or even around the neighborhood. Give yourself time, and do things that make you happy. You are your own best friend and it’s important that you accept who you are and like who you are as a person before you expect anyone else to.

2011-07-30T00:20:00.002+08:00

I seriously need ppl to understand the situation I'm in! i told ppl i'm very fortunate to have very supportive family and frens to help me go thru this phase of my life. THIS SUPER NO END MASSEY LIFE! Assignments, reports, exam then new assignment, new reports then new exam and the cycle continue till the day i grad.

i'm nt using it as excuse for nt going any place with u all or wat... i swear! i'm oso sick n tired of rejecting overseas trips coz of some idiotic exam or reject an outing juz coz of some toopid reports or assignment. I CANT HELP IT! if i have a choice, do u think i rather choose to be at home n camp with the notes???

yes, u see me playing game or rotting in FB or youtube. but tt is like an hr or so.. ya.. tt r the breaks... after an hr.. i 'm back to watever i'm doing... few hrs later..

to some of u... i'm juz suck at my time management, my planning sucks, my studying techniques sucks,... i suck at everything... i dunno hw to plan ahead.. only noe hw to waste my time in playing FB games.. n tell the whole world i'm bz studying... act as if i'm the most stress person in the world... i'm sorry i gave u such a feeling

i dunno wat i muz do in order to let u all understand wat is really happening in my life, in the sch... i'm not clever, i'm not smart.. i need to do stuff the long way, the hard way, the toopid way... i feel stress, but i cant say out.. coz it may seems tt i making a big fuss over nth... i laugh, i smile, i go crazy... i heck care... is a way to tell myself.. no, I M NOT STRESS!

=.=

2011-07-13T01:21:00.003+08:00

now, the latest update of my mth!!!! :p

n yes, i'm enjoying every moment!!! hehehee more details when i'm to type a looooong entry! :p

2011-07-03T22:02:00.003+08:00

I SERIOUSLY DO NOT WANT TO UPDATE THIS! my massey classmates booked me!!!!!!!! This is the scariest news i ever received!!!!

2011-07-02T02:06:00.002+08:00

OK, this is the mth of celebration. Starting with my super duper ~~crazy~~ wonderful bunch of ex colleagues (current frens) Yan, Suping and Lihua. (our dear kelvis is juz toooo bz to join us). the 1st time ever, i go to Holland V n i didnt drink! hahahaha.. well.. 1. Too broke, 2. have to get up early later...

Went to eat at 'Everything with fries', not bad.. the meat r abit dry though. and had coffee @ coffeebean...

i love my bdae, but dun wish to be reminded hw old m i... hahahaa... yes, i'm 4ever 21! wahahaha..

i dunno y, but i was being scolded by someone who claim tt i'm childish, i'm wasting my money. i'm NOT truly happy. i'm pretending and acting as if i'm super happy....

COME ON, i'm enjoying my life! so wat if i'm a 28 yr old behaving like a 12 yr old? POLICE will catch mah?! BTW, a 12 yr old cant drink! I dun deny i'm childish. yes, i'm. n i guess the ppl who noe me noe it well. SO? being happy, cheerful, jovial IS NOT CHILDISH! if being a 28 yr old muz be serious, muz depress, muz see things at the dark side... not smiling everyday... then, sorry... i rather being labelled as crazy, as childish.

I love my life. Stress over sch work and empty pockets, crazy with outings, happy with my bunch of frens and family, having fun drinking and singing with no commitments. I'm living my life to the fullest! n I M TRULY HAPPY! u r not me, dun tell me DEEP inside me, i'm not happy. I'm pretending to be happy... WTH?! well... it doesnt matter wat u think... coz is no longer impt. and me being happy or nt, no need me to spell it out de.

meeting xian and JM later!!! hahhahahhaa 2nd session coming up!!! :p

2011-06-27T13:50:00.002+08:00

hmmm... Everyone's asking wat i wanna eat and where i wanna eat.. but i really dunno leh. hahhhahahaa...

eh... ok, i wanna go Admiral Bar and Grill @ SG flyer. Dim sum? or eh... i dunno le leh... jap? u guys think for me.... hahaha.. KTV kakis! i wanna ktv!!!!! :p

ok.. here is the updated schedule.. :)

2011-06-25T02:27:00.007+08:00

Ok... it is THE TIME of the yr!!! YESH, i may bz with my sch work, but NO WORRIES, i will try to squeeze time out for those who wanna meet me this mth.... (My dear MASSEY Classmates, i seriously think tt it is not soooo necessary we've a big celebration, i'll have a quiet celebration with Elaine. :) THANKS!!! :P)

Pls find my schedule for this mth (haven include my time for reports and assignment, coz i still dunno hw much would be given and when to be handed in). Pls book me early to avoid disappointment.. :p

oh ya... once booked, even i got assignment or report, i oso wun cancel, UNLESS it is life threatening! :) hope u guys understand.. THANKS!

eh,... HJM! u r leaving on 5th, WAY b4 THE big day.... being my best buddy... u shld noe wat to do?? *girnz*

Next week, b4 1st July, my time table is quite free tooo.... :)

2011-06-05T17:39:00.002+08:00

After whole week of MADLAB! i'm free! frm the assignment.. but coming next will be 2 exams... haiz... REST? well... after these 2 papers ba.. then will have 8 days of rest b4 starting of my senior yr... YES, tyl is moving into the 2nd yr!!!!! hahahahhaa ok.. pray hard i survived...

but then again, i survived thru last week... i think i wun die so easily le... last week was totally 'horrible, terrible, incorrigible'... avg time of me leaving sch is 11pm. coz toopid assignments and reports all come tgt.. and to be handed in at the same time!

n while doing matlab, my stress level was up to the NEW max sia... it is a challenge to me... and ya.. i broke my own stress threshold record... i totally cannot imagine hw i survived thru... but i did. of coz, i did burst out in front of tyx lah.. she was being nice to guide me thru, but when she told me tt the stuff were all wrong, i totally went haywire and burst lor... well.... did manage to get it.... (using the 'wrong stuff' tt i was tot... yx de language... abit too chim)... hahahaa..

after i finished everything, i turned and saw tt eric n eprina (other kakis went home early) were behind me, i nearly went out of control. but of coz, my ego n pride were stronger... anyway, the worse is over. :)

Nw back to mugging!!!

2011-05-20T22:39:00.002+08:00

TYL never use the F word... NEVER! but this person is able to make TYL use this word on him, he is juz ultimate! Super duper irritating and arrogant piece of shit! Well, who is he? He is a lab tech in my sch... no he is not. He is a lab tech in SP. My sch dun have such idiotic ppl de.

We have lab today at 2pm, but our lecturer told us to be there 30 mins earlier to prepare some of the samples 1st. Or else we gonna worked till very late. So we were there at 1.30pm to start preparing our samples.

We went in, he KNEW tt we were already in there, but he didnt move a single cell of his butt, to find out y r we there so early, NOR ask us who r we, NOR ask us wat we need. He juz cont'd to treat us as NON-existence. Well, we are absolutely FINE with it. IF we noe where r the stuff we needed are kept.

but the fact was, we DIDNT noe where the stuff were kept. n he is one FUSSY guy whom dun like ppl turning his lab upside down. so we asked him abt the samples we need to prepare POLITELY. he told us to wait for our lecturer to come ( wat the hell? we were instructed to come early to prepare, and cant find lecturer, go find him de!). SO we said, we need to prepare the sample as instructed.

He was kind enough to get up frm his work bench to tell us where the stuff are put, and we went ahead with our sample preparation. there are 3 benches in this lab, we took out our stuff and put it on one of the bench, he say we cant work on tt bench coz he needed it for the lab later with the poly students. Fine, we went out and work on another bench. He dun allow, coz he say we may spoil the microscopes tt were on the bench. (when we HAVEN EVEN start on anything, juz to put our lab manuals!). FINE, we r doing lab work but we CANT USE any of the bench. coz the benches are filled with microscopes which he emphasize tt they were VERY ex and tt we cant AFFORD to spoil it!

HELLO! we handled microscope b4 and we noe hw EXPENSIVE THEY ARE! and PLEASE look at hw ur POLY STUDENTS handling ur EXPENSIVE microscope b4 telling us that we MIGHT spoil them!

then he started making noise about double booking of lab. Dunno y our lecturer booked this lab at this period. when there would be another lab going on at the same time. Com'on, THIS IS NOT OUR fault! as if we wanted this to happen, as if WE BEGGED to make his life difficult (though nw i very much want to do tt). Then we found a small corner, we juz say we'll do it there. he said ok. leaving us in tt small corner w/o telling us where r the spatula and weighing boats... we went searching again lor, wat to do... haiz...

then one of us commented tt, 'nw i noe.. the higher level u studied, the smaller working space u will get. ' tt is the challenge.

As if we are free riders.. as if we dun pay our sch fees, as if we are liability to them n not assets. we r juz nt being loved anywhere!!! Haiz.. i hate 寄人篱下!

2011-05-07T14:46:00.002+08:00

WAH! 1 mth! i didnt blog for a mth! due to the EXTREMELY bz mth... i juz dun have the time to blog. Assignment, report, presentation then report and assignment then presentation then report then exam.... then presentation then report...... CRAZY mth!!! haiz... wat to do.. i chose this path....

GE is here... i've casted my vote! there has been a very heated debate over the 2 weeks (i wonder does this contribute to today's extremely hot weather?) and frens with different political views started to oppose one another... haiz...

hey frens, ppl have different views... so we can share our views... but nt to the extend of fighting over it... i mean, it is abt the govt... they r nt going to reward u nor thank u if u stood by them in the expense of ur frenships.... nt worth it lah...

it actually scares me when i see tt the direction the 'discussions' were leading to.... aiyo.....

n i got 2 pieces of good news this week... 3rd May 2011, a little boy named Aidan was brought to this world by Mommy simin and daddy alex!!! and on 6th May 2011, a little girl (name nt known at the moment of post), was brought to this world by mommy Elena and daddy Mani!!! SOOOOOOOOOO happy for them!!!!! EXCITED!!!!! cant wait to see them sia... :)

i think i shld be going back to prepare my presentation.... haiz... n i shall slp so tonight i can stay up late to hear the polling results LIVE!

2011-04-07T00:57:00.002+08:00

In life... u gain sth, u lost sth.... this is juz the basic balance of life ba...

I gain a bunch of great buddies from sch... i lost some kakis frm work...

Well, cant say lost... juz feel tt we r not close as b4... well... this is natural.. coz i'm out of the league le.... we have no more common topic... n i seems to be juz an xtra person in the grp..

I chose to leave my 'so-called' drinking kakis frm work.. at least i will not go drinking with them anymore...a personal decision and i noe i'm going to stick with it. Frm nw on, it is only my sec sch BESTIEs and my Uni kakis tt i would go drink with....

i tried my best to maintain the closeness with my other kakis frm work.... but then... we seems to be drifted apart.. actually quite sad... coz i feel tt they longer feel the excitement to see me... n i more n more feel like i'm the xtra.... the only person nw tt is close to me is only my buddy.. but she is overloaded n stress with her work le.... my kor... nw drifted FURTHER..... so far tt i dun even remember tt we were damn close b4.....

Ok... mayb i think toooo much... but well.. sch work is overwhelming.. i really shldnt be spending time think abt this.... hahaa..... time to hit back my research... so if the end really comes in 2012.. at least i got my degree... :p

2011-03-16T21:56:00.002+08:00

Dear Aunties and Uncles,

SMRT is not going to give u a prize to be the 1st to board the bus, govt is not gonna give u extra money for being the 1st to reach the MRT gate, and u r NOT gonna be the early when u r the 1st to board the train! If each and everyone of us, go in orderly manner, time spent on SQUEEZING up the train and bus will be shorten. Then all of us will not to be late!!

Isnt it better?

I REALLY DUN UNDERSTAND! haiz...

2011-03-06T19:43:00.003+08:00

After knowing my this bunch of boys in my class, i came to realise sth.

It is a natural ability for a guy to take care of girls or be responsible (regardless of age). To think tt I was constantly helping u to find excuses for ur behavior such as being tooo young....

U were young, but my this bunch of guys are YOUNGER! u claimed tt coz i was older, capable to look after myself to a certain extend, so u r not tt 'caring'. but then the guys i noe, they noe tt i was much older, yet, they r still caring and in fact, showed me with the care n concern, tt suddenly i feel tt i'm a queen! n to think tt they are JUST FRENS!

U claimed that i was ur special one, yet, i dun feel being 'appreciated' nor 'treasured'.

i was soooo damn toopid..

虽然讲了几万次，我会把你戒掉。。。却一而再再而三的又想起你。朋友听了都厌倦了！真是没用！现在，我要彻底的把你删除！一个从开始到现在都不珍惜我的人，留在心里、脑里都是浪费位！我还需要记更多更美好的事！

2011-03-02T14:21:00.003+08:00

It is the 3rd mth of a new yr!!!! time flies! n i'm sooooo looking fwd to my grad in 2012 (provided we still survive in 2012)....

anyway, currently tyl is in class... having an hr break with a few classmates discussing on assignments and a few slacking (which includes me!) *grinz*

2011-03-01T23:49:00.004+08:00

Back frm the 1st oversea trip to Kukup, Msia with my Massey classmates whom i call Massey Bonkers... though nt the whole class turned up, we had lotsa fun and let me noe more abt the ppl i have been hanging out with EVERYDAY ever since Aug 2010....

They are fun-loving and non-stop joke generator. u will never feel dull with them.... and most imptly, most of them LOVE to sing and r superb singers!!! n 1st time ever, TYL is contented juz to sit down there n listen to them sing... wahahahaha....

Proudly presents.... My Massey classmates @ Kukup!

Eprina - My whatsapp kaki cum lunch kaki cum tok cock kaki, Indo -chinese girl whom is so blur tt she amazed me everyday! wahahaa..

Polly - My lunch kaki cum grp mate cum tok cock kaki, Penang girl whom is serious when work, and damn spontaneous when it comes to play

Eric, Ye sen, Edwin - my drinking kakis, these 3 bros amazed me everyday... their frenship is so strong tt i juz love to see the interaction between the 3.... n yep... they are superb good and nice boys tt i always say i'm proud to bring them out to intro to ppl... They are much much much more gentlemen than some guys i noe who r much older than them... n they r responsible and caring which is lacking in most guys i noe...

Marcus, Cedric, Pinda (my drinking kaki), Ramesh, Siang wee - these 5... aiyo... NEVER stop in creating the funniest moment. They too r super responsible and caring.... ya.. they are BOYs, so non-stop actions frm them..

Ya, most of the funniest moment r created by these 8 guys mentioned above...

Celia, Ethel, Jiamin - i didnt noe tt they are THAT fun-loving till the trip. Jiamin can party (i found a clubbing buddy? wahaha), celia and ethel r sooooooo full of expression tt sometime i wonder if it is my sis, TYX had cast her crazy spell on them mah... hahahaa

We had our crazy times in Kukup, and pics say it all! wahahaha....

The class is united as a whole (not only those who went to kukup), I really hope tt we will not change even when we go to the senior yr! I REALLY HOPE tt we will stay so happy and united thru'out the 2 yrs!

This is definitely not the last trip.. more events to come for the Massey BonkerS!

2011-02-18T02:30:00.002+08:00

Seems like i've juz started sch... n nw, i'm preparing for exams... the good and bad thing abt this course is, u wouldnt noe or notice wat date or wat day... u will only noe, datelines and exam dates.... b4 u realised it.. u r graduating le... wahaha... okok... i'm dreaming...

alot of things happen ard me this new yr... which i'm happy, yet at the same time lost and mayb teeny weeny of sad... n lonely?

Things in my family r getting better... i noe my family is gonna do very well this yr!! n really... i can see the efforts and i really do appreciate each and everything he/she did! n i tell u... nth can pull me away frm my family! I simply love them, esp tt super genius sis of mine! she can make me angry, make me sad, make me suffer, make me feel stupid... but she can NEVER make me stop loving her! in fact, i'm loving her more each day!!!

ppl ard me r moving on... and found their happiness... which i'm happy for them. getting married, r/s growing stronger and stronger, new found love, new found life, having the fruits of their love... moving on after a heart break.... juz noeing tt they r moving on... having another purpose in life.... it is a good thing....

getting more n more used to sch life... and mixed well with my classmates, though i very much wanted to be the same class as my bffs... i like my class nw! i think my class is more fun and more craziness and more talentS!!! wahahaha...

I no longer believe in love, n settling down is the last thing in my mind. Though i did toy with the tots of settling down during the 1st week of CNY... but well... it lasted for a week only. seeing my close frens (singles) are seriously looking out for ppl to settle down or already found one...suddenly it strikes me... i might be gonna be alone soon... part of me feel sad, coz my single kakis left me one by one... but then i'm not sadist.. i wish my frens to be happy... so... i wun do or say anything... i will give them my blessings...

seeing hw my bff drowning in her new found love... suddenly the way she speaks oso seem different... added in the gentleness and feminine, and noe how to 撒娇 liao.... reality hits me... she seems far le.. well.... nvm ba.. at least this is a happy thing....

hearing my frens toking abt their honey mood period... the sweet stuff tt is happening to them makes me tot of the times i once had... bitter, sweet, sour... but... it is juz a memory... a far far far and never will happen again de memory...

seeing yt and ivan (my 2 darlings) fulfilling their dreams... doing stuff tt they wish n dream to do... and actively lookign for their life time partner....

i wonder... wat m i doing? i'm fulfilling my degree dream... then? wat is my dream? my goal? i'm lost? i dunno... wat i noe is I'm NOT actively looking for partner.... so dun come n tell me abt settling down...

mayb i pmsing... or sleepy? mayb when i wake up tml... i noe wat's my goal.. noe wat i want... wahahaha....

2011-01-25T00:22:00.002+08:00

无奈

1.动词无可奈何：出于无奈

2.连词用在转折句的头上，表示由于某种原因，不能实现上文所说的意图，有“可惜”的意思，

3.名次对于事物没有办法所表现出来的态度

很多时候，我都处在这无奈状态中。对于自己的生活，都是充满无奈了，更何况是别人的幸福。

即使我说了上千遍，软硬兼施，你还是决定往前走。我还能说什么？这是你的未来、你的幸福、你的生活，我能管什么？

也许，未来不是我想象的如此糟糕；那么我当然我真心诚意地祝福你；也许未来正如我所料的伤人，我会心痛，也会伤心，但，这条路是你自己选的。后果自负。我只能在旁边支持你，却可能减轻不了你的痛。

我虽然已对爱情没有了信任、也没有了希望，我却还能感受的到爱。只要你们是真心相爱，我仍感受的到。所以，请不要以为我只会把我的想法套在你们的身上。只是我希望我周围的人能先看清楚才决定，不要让自己去面对那无谓的伤害。

2011-01-24T23:54:00.000+08:00

一个人的幸福，不是一个旁观者能断定、能决定、能肯定的。但是如果我知道你为了某个人，到现在还在痛。坚持要忘记他的你，还会要知道他的消息吗？说还是不说？说了，你会开心吗？还是更烦恼？不说，你会怨我吗？我会是毁了你可能拥有的幸福吗？？？

2011-01-05T01:07:00.002+08:00

It is 2011!!! i noe today is the 5th day... hahaha nw then decided to post this entry. Well... we r entering the new decade of the 21st century. So wat has happened for the past 10 yrs?

2001:

My 2nd yr in JC. till then i realised that i wasnt cut out to be a JC person.. but since it was already 2nd, juz die die oso study. I'm glad i did. coz this is the yr when i got to know my best best buddy... HJM! nw then i realised we knew each other for 10 yrs! we muz celebrate this yr sia... :p

2002:

The slackest yr. After getting A lvls results, as expected, i cant get into the course i wanted. and when i decided to go back to poly, i missed the dateline for the yr de intake. I taught tuition FULL TIME! and got my driving license coz i was juz too free.

2003:

Finally enrolled into poly, Dip in Chemical Process Techology. Due to the 1 yr lag, i wasnt allow to go straight to 2nd yr. I didnt regret, as i got to noe my now BFFs...Ly, XH, WY, Daniel.... and of coz... gotta noe him.... didnt noe at tt time that he was able to create such a big impact in my life

2004:

2nd yr of poly, went into food tech (my dream course). I was 21 !!!! had a great bdae celebration at West Coast. my different grps of frens came up with different tricks to trick me. He chose a different option, HE became part of my life, his calls, his encouragement, his laughter. at the same time, YP joined in the BFFs team. i went for my 1st overseas attachment - BKK ABAC. wooo... i knew my thai frens for 6yrs plus liao.. woo hoo...

2005:

He left, vanished.... and i got myself a bf, whom i waited for 6yrs before HE appeared. but end uo the r/s didnt last more than 2 mths. well, at least we tried. worked in my 2nd attachment - Danisco.

2006:

i graduated le!!!! I got my 1st job in Gold Kili! didnt noe at tt time that this job will be with me for soooo long. A place i loved most. it was juz like a 2nd home to me. Coz everyone WAS so nice and sincere. learnt a lot frm the ppl in there. Frm EQ, PR skills, sales, QA/QC, manufacturing, anything and everything under the sun. then i saw the 'TORO' looked alike OFM!

2007:

got closer to my office BFFs now(Kelvis and Yan). Cheryl joined the company too. that was the PEAK period in GK. we went thru thick and thin. The BEST rapport was during tt period where we all were so happy. Though the work was stressful and wasnt very established, yet we enjoyed the most during tt period.

My whole family went thru a big roller coaster this yr, and made us changed our lifestyle, our attitude and our mindset.. but it is all over now!! :)

2008:

Decided to resigned for my fave job juz to get into Massey Uni SG 1st batch. WY left for Aust oso came back for this course. Who noes, i was rejected. went on working on contract basis in Danisco, learning of the ingredient level of food manufacturing. HE decided to reappear again. but this time round, tot i was neutral, i tot my feelings for him had faded.....

2009:

OFM, CP went back home. missing the times we had. worked in HPB for a few mths b4 Gold Kili called me back. experienced in building up a factory, designing and planning of the plant.. COOL!!!!

I allowed myself to go out of control with HIM. i tot i wasnt serious, BUT.... things didnt go as i predicted. i wasnt strong myself, and got myself into tt deepest pit.. When he decided to start a new r/s with another girl. I decided to give up and juz walk away. no pt staying there....it hurt badly... it still hurts...

decided tt marriage is not the most impt thing i want, and starts not to believe in love....

2010:

once again decided to resign and go back to sch. and YES, this time round i made sure i cfm a place b4 i resigned! then BOOM! TYL in Massey Uni SG, going back the rushing reports, studying for exam, no income student life! got noe to a batch of cute little boys and girls...

survived one sem... 1.5 more sems to go!!!! :)

wooo 10yrs of my life passed juz like tt... more 10yrs to come. but the most impt thing for me nw is to survive thru these 2 yrs!!

Ok, time checked 2 am!!! i got work later!!! nite...

PS: Ivan, i think u will find a lot of typo and wrong phrasing or any errors ba.... coz i did this entry in 1 hr time and i'm half alsp nw!!! :p

2011-01-03T00:00:00.003+08:00

I wanted to post sth abt the new year, as it is 2011!! but i think this is more interesting. Thanks to WY, she showed me this webby toking our Moon sign and Moon astrology. Moon sign is the position of the moon when u r born.

From this webby, http://www.findyourfate.com/astrology/moon-astrology/moonsigns.html, u can learn more about wat is moon sign.

Moon sign vs Sun sign (Sun sign is the normal horoscope we noe, for me is cancer.)

The Moon is said to rule your personality, while the Sun rules your individuality.The Sun influences our total self or our personality. The Sun therefore represents the way we are seen by others around us. The Moon represents the more of our inner world of feelings and emotions, and how we feel about ourselves. The Sun rules the day, but moon has an altogether mysterious side, with deeper more hidden aspects.

Well, my moon sign is Leo:

The Moon in Leo makes you strong, proud and courageous. You enjoy responsibility, and often take on too much of it. You have a natural attraction authority, and enjoy appearing in the public eye. You would rather lead than follow any day.Your inherent pride makes you very susceptible to love affairs.

Your actions at work attract the attention, and respect of your superiors. This can only mean good things for you as far as your career is concerned. As far as money is concerned you are very generous.

The Moon in Leo makes for a strong intellect and a strong love of the arts. Don't be surprised if your occupation involves the theatre, music, painting or literature. You also have a love for luxuries. You like to drink the finest wine life has to offer. You are lively in spirit, have a high intelligence and have good prioritizing skills.

Females with Leo Moon: Fair complexion, attractive, wide and generous features, big round eyes. They are generous, independent, leaders among women, jolly but easily offended or hurt and apt to be vindictive and jealous. Of fiery temper, fond of food and are religious. Joyous, sexy and craving for physical contacts, like to be away from madding crowds and prefer a solitary place. Sincere, frank, good married life on the whole. Wealthy, affectionate and passionate and as long as they love their partner, they do it intensely, otherwise will severe connections.

Leo Moon- Positive Traits	Leo Moon - Negative Traits
Loving Witty Radiant Artistic Dignified	Extravagant Arrogant Show-off Self-centered Domineering

WY told me is very me.. she feel tt it is quite true... personally i feel... ya... true to a certain extend ba... but nt on the attractive part ba.. wahahahahaha TYX gonna laugh till her head drop on this attractive part... :p

2010-12-24T01:28:00.002+08:00

I'm juz damn pissed! Y things had become like tt? You've noe me for so long liao yet still dunno me?!

I've respected you like an elder brother. i've treat u like an elder brother, i've always tok to u like ur younger sis! juz coz of ppl started to tok in front about us, u started to suspect tt i like u?! COME ON LAH! if i wanna like u, i would have loooong ago.. not till now lor!!! n then ppl always say things.. i cant stop them, but i noe very well, hw i feel towards u... so i no need to scare.. so when they juz say i let them say... then end up, u r the one kana influenced!?!??!?!

nw wat, juz coz ppl say so much things, make u suspected tt i like u (greatest joke of the century), u r treating me like u dunno me, like u hated me. I'm no longer in ur 'MUST MEET' list. i no longer in ur consideration when going out (u juz hope tt i dun follow!)

well, this is TYL! TYL believes in platonic frenship! and TYL is damn prideful and ego! if u wish tt we shld juz go back to acquaintance and not good frens, i glad to do so... SO BE IT!

原来我们之间的友情是那么脆弱的。什么同甘共苦？什么有福同享、有难同当？都是废话！！！

nw then i realised, those days when we met our down times, we were always there for one another. we were so close, we shared our woes and happiness. we planned our 'revenge'... ALL THESE are fake one lor!?!? all the things we have been thru, cant fight the few words ppl tell u!!!

I M TOTALLY DISAPPOINTED IN U!!!!!

2010-12-20T22:35:00.002+08:00

This is a long overdue post... well... i was bz and abit lazy... :p

Anyway, on the 27th Nov after our dear LWY's vocal exam, food tester TYL, ATXH and LWY decided to givethis new Taiwan Restaurant - Xi Men Ding 西门町 in Raffle's City a try. Though the 3 of us has limited captial - being avid food lovers... we juz cant help it but to try.... the price is abit steep though.

Su Ping, if u happened to read my blog... give this a try!!! :p

While waiting for food.. i juz start snapping away

This is... but it is NICE!! it taste alot better than pasar malam, and any other Taiwan snacks kiosk... haven try the REAL taiwan 盐酥鸡 b4... but this is the best among those in SG

This looked half finshed.. coz i 4got to take the photo b4 i ate.. hehehe.. this is pig's trotter mee sua... 猪脚面线.. the mian xian is different from wat we ate in SG.. is nice... 很有咬劲. and of coz, the braised pig's trotter... tender, flavourful.. yumz...

This is the 大肠四季豆... big intestines with French beans aka 4 seasons beans (directly translation). For those who dun like intestines, this is absolutely a must try dish. The dried shrimps are fried till crispy, the French beans are crunchy and the big intestines were fried till so crispy till u dun even noe tt it is big intestine. so ppl who dun like intestines can try it. :p

and finally, the 卤肉饭 with special order 梅菜 added in.... 梅菜入口即化... yet u dun feel tt it is some food that have been cooked and re-cooked for dance... the braised meat 肥而不腻... wonders....

but of coz, be prepared that the price r slightly high... some may think tt this type of dishes really not worth the money.... but to me.. i think is 值得.... :p of coz it is based on the tastebuds of ppl who never tried the authentic Taiwan food b4... this is consider the best of taiwan food of wat we had eaten in SG....

2010-12-08T13:26:00.002+08:00

I shld studying food chem... but then it is juz so dry and i simply can remember all the rxn happening! i mean i noe wat happen to the food, i noe wat is the mechanism behind, but i cant remember who/what are involved! sianz to the max... well.. suan le.. i have to study

anyway... sharing with u my latest fave songs!!! lyrics super meaningful... :)

1. Hebe - 寂寞寂寞就好

2. Elva - 错的人

3. Kenji Wu - 没关系

2010-11-26T15:51:00.002+08:00

I started to wonder again... shld i cont'd studying? yes, studying has been always my dream. nw i'm in it, and is enjoying every moment (of coz i still complain on the amt of report and work done).

my super seniors have graduated, n currently are looking for jobs.. either they cant find or the pay is as low as my last drawn pay.

Reality strikes me.. y did i put myself into this 'meeting datelines' misery for 2 yrs when ended up i cant have a big jump in my salary?

my frens told me i shld juz cont'd, at least i got exp... but still... TYX says we r constantly in quarter life crisis... i guess so.. wahahhaaa...

btw, i'm still having class nw.... :p

2010-11-14T17:22:00.003+08:00

After watching the repeat telecast of Singapore Hits Award 2010, made me wonder, did I follow closely on SHA for all 16 years? hahahaha... i dun remember, but i'm sure for the past 16 yrs, i NEVER once without an idol. Looking back, i didnt noe y i even labelled some as idols... juz pure 'kiddish'? I shall list out my past idols....

From the day i noe that there is M-Pop, which i think 10 yrs old? YEP, TYL started looking at shuai ges THAT young.

I dun remember when, but 小虎队 and LA boyz songs were always in my THEN ULTIMATE LUXURY walkman. At that time CD was a damn high class stuff, so i only got cassette tape. The walkman was a gift i got passed down to me from my dad. If i still have it nw, it is ANTIQUE!

At 11-12 yr old, due to the influenced of my classmates, i started collecting stuff of my THEN idol - Leon Lai. Dun ask me y i liked him tt time. till nw i still wondered Y. mayb it was coz i felt tt he looked like my THEN fave cousin, and my classmates were wooing and ahhhing over some idol, i cannot lose out, so i mentioned Leon, and well, juz like tt he became my 1st idol. (年少无知) I even asked my dad to get his CD for me. I still remember, i had that 今夜你会不会来album.

That was the period of time when the 四大天王(Jacky Cheung, Aaron Kwok, Andy Lau and Leon Lai) and 四小天王 (Jimmy Lin, Nicky Wu, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Alec Su) were so popular. everyone juz go crazy with wither on of them or all of them.

Actually, i liked Andy Lau, but coz at that pt of time, leon, being my so-called idol, was always being compared with andy, and plus my bro like andy lau, i always 'reject' any news and pics of andy lau, to show my 'loyalty' to my 'idol'. (that was juz plain toopid)

During my Sec sch to JC days, I could remember who was i crazy with. But one for sure is Jeff Chang. His songs touched me even up till now. He is one of the talented singers i idolised, (TYL dun juz look at pretty faces guys nia, i appreciate talent too.) I got most of the albums he cut at that period of time: 宽容(1995)、梦想(1996)、挚爱(1997)、选哲精选辑(1997)、直觉(1997)、信仰(2000)、从开始到现在(2002)。Yes, this was how i love Jeff. i think he is the only idol i have so many albums de. wahahahaa

2002 - 2003, idol drama was a great hit and slowly all the boy bands were all coming out. 1st, F4 due to Meteor Garden series. They were the start of pretty face boybands in M-pop, and yes, TYL was once crazy over them, to the extend of queuing up for half a day (i got my resources nt to Q for days) for Vanness Wu autograph for his 1st album.

2003 - 2005 yr old, Jay Chou became VERY popular, and i got his VERY 1st album (a gift frm my cousin) and the talented grp, Tension (it's a pity this grp didnt last long). Then comes 5566, Energy! I was crazy over 5566, i would save up and buy the albums and merchandise. I got their 一光年, Boyfriend 挚爱 (2 editions), C'est Si Bon, Mr Fighting OST, 好久不见 and 喝彩。At the same time, TYX was crazy with Energy (with Toro and 牛奶), so u can imagine, how well we noe their songs at THAT time. but coz after Toro then subsequently 牛奶 left, we grew out of them le. As for 5566, the last 2 albums were not as nice as the 1st few, and slowly they spent their time on other areas other than singing, we also stop following.

2005-2009, Fahrenheit (飞轮海) came into the M-pop pic and sad to say, yes this is another pretty face boyband TYL was crazy with. I got pics of them everywhere, even on my office desktop. I was especially in love with Jiro Wang. Coz he reminded me of someone. Once i told that someone i was different frm her (who happen to like Fahrenheit too), as i noe him 1st, and coz of him i liked Fahrenheit - Jiro, but she likes Jiro 1st b4 she met him. Well, that was the past... so nw, the craze died down le.

Proud to say that, apart from the boys, TYL oso spend time looking at girls. SHE when they 1st appear in 2001, TYL oso follow all their news and albums. :)

As for now, i wun be as crazy, but still there are a bunch of ppl i adore, admire, idolised! wahhaa.. i will never say NO to Mayday (dunno when did i start liking them, but once start u cant stop), Show Luo, Rainie Yang, Jeff Chang, SHE, Zhang Yun Jing (She is damn shuai and cute!!!!!), Liang Wen Ying (Coz she is oso LWY? wahaha). and i wld not say no to handsome guys or nice music!

2010-11-10T01:13:00.004+08:00

不知道从几时开始，我已经不再追看偶像剧；浪漫爱情小说也不再吸引我。是怎么了？我长大了？！哈哈。。。可能吧。到了这把年纪还有少女浪漫幻想或许太可悲了吧。很多身边的朋友都会很开心，我终于长大了！哈哈。。。曾经就有朋友阻止我看偶像剧和爱情小说，她说就是因为受到影响，所以渴望梦幻般的爱情，对于爱情的要求特别高，结果怎样都找不到男朋友。几年前的我，也许就是这样吧。现在的我，选择性的远离爱情。

看见周围的朋友都在爱情里受尽了折磨，我为何还自讨苦吃？最近又好多朋友，不管是很亲近的，还是比较不熟的；不管是男的、还是女的都在爱里受伤。分手的分手、悔婚的悔婚、后悔结婚的后悔结婚、说不爱了就不爱了。。。　不管是爱情长跑５年以上还是在一起一年以上。。。都敌不过变心。说什么天长地久、说什么海枯石烂、说什么永远、说什么一辈子的承诺、说什么至死不渝的爱。。。到头来，说变心就变心、说不爱就不爱、说分手就分手。有没有想过另一方的感受？请到深处时，对方伤风，你就会觉得呼吸困难；要分手时，对方在你面前的伤痛，你们却感受不到。爱情就那么脆弱吗？

我不知道自己有没有曾经深爱过；不过我很肯定我有很受伤过。。这种痛真的笔墨难形容。那种心就好像被揪在一起的痛、坐着都好像会窒息而死、走路像行尸走肉般、整个世界好像都塌了下来。我想这种痛，谁都不愿受到第二次。偏偏我让我自己第二次受到伤害。。。　真是可悲。。好累。。　看到周围的人，加上自己所受的伤。。。我真的不想再接近这所谓甜蜜、让人便美的爱情。如果变美丽的代价就是要面对着种种伤害，我宁可丑一辈子。至少我会很开心自在。不会为了另一个人有没有想你、是不是也一样爱着你、有没有背叛你、有没有照顾自己而烦恼！

有一本小说里，男主角说道∶“男人说爱你，当下真的是爱你的。”　就是这一秒说爱你，真的是爱你的。只不过，下一秒也许就变心了。人生还真的变化无常啊！

人最厉害的就是帮自己找借口。再牵强的理由都能说出了来。只要感情淡了、不爱了、想分手了。。。什么理由都有。

看了这么多，那些梦幻似的爱情、那些浪漫、感人的爱情对我来说就是戏剧。再也不是现实、我更不可能渴望的到。我不相信爱、更不对爱没信心。。男人，我照看；我照玩；但我绝对不可能再爱、更不可能放下心防再去爱。也许某天，有人能让我对爱情的看法改变，或是能让我有信心。但绝对不是现在！近期内，不可能会有我的喜讯吧。:)

2010-11-08T00:11:00.002+08:00

Results for my 1st paper is out. It is a B+! haha.. i'm satisfied with this result. Coz i didnt aim high. Juz a middle range pass would be enough...

2nd paper juz finished, and now i'm preparing for a test on tues. But it seems sooo unproductive. i juz cant get the facts into my head... haiz.. no matter wat, i muz force myself to do it.

Last thurs, went KTV with my classmates after exam. I knew some of the guys can sing... but i didnt noe most of them CAN REALLY SING! OMG! i enjoyed every moment even when i'm not singing. jus sitting down and listen to them sing is a pleasure.

normally, most guys i noe, either dunno hw to sing or dun dare to sing. simon and darren aside... they are my ktv kakis... hehee but they are juz sooooooo superb.... haha i told eric i gonna bring him to ktv pub to show off le... wahahaha...

well, though i didnt get to be the same class as wy... i'm still happy! coz i LOVE my class! they are constantly amazing my with new things... wahahaha...

ok back to notes.. SIANESS!

2010-10-27T02:03:00.002+08:00

Life in sch is getting chaotic... endless reports, then b4 u noe it... time for exam... sometime, i wonder... y m i rushing like mad? wat is the purpose? i didnt learn anything in this rush accept to meet datelines... oh yeah.. and think for a title for the report...

last week... i was rushing report till i didnt get enough slp.. i think the average slping time for the whole week is 3 hrs? haiz.. slp... my slp.... my bed....

i didnt noe i was stress... i tot i was only rushing out the report.. not stress... till one day, when i closed my eyes... i saw numbers... all the stuff i have calculated... all the facts and experimental errors... i cant slp peacefully.... then i noe.. I WAS STRESSED! sianz...

i realised being buried under piles of work and being stress didnt help in 4getting the past and ppl... in fact it made u miss the person more... at least for my case.... n I HATE IT! y muz my brain allow him to come into my mind?! i tot he is out of my mind for quite some time le?

yes... the more i stress.. the more i kana buried under the mountains of work.. the more i missed him... i missed his voice... giving the motivation to hang on, encouraging me to continue walking... i missed his encouraging and reassuring hug.. giving me strength.... i missed his failed attempts to made me laugh... and made me 4got watever was bothering me.... even juz his presence... oso could make me feel better... EEEKKKK.... y like tt?! i dun want it! i dun wanna be such a weakling!

i cant go find him... no way i gonna start running in circles again... no i cant call him.. coz i will want more than juz call. no, i cant do anything!!!! i juz cant do anything except to force him out of my mind! i hate him, i hate myself! i wanna ALT CTR DEL!

2010-10-05T13:42:00.003+08:00

I've totally understand wat WY had been thru for the past 2 yrs! WY, so sorry that we werent THAT understanding.. i mean we understand ur situation, but then we did give you some pressure to a certain extend. Nw i can fully understand wat u had been thru, hw u were being torn between frens and sch.

DEAR family and frens,

The course I'm studying nw is call a CRASH course. That is why at the end of the 2 years, we can get bachelor with honors. It will take about 4 yrs to finish exactly the same course in NZ. My course is not what you all think about the REAL university life, where ppl are leading carefree life and enjoying every moment of it (even if u all are rushing for reports or mugging). We cant planned our time -table to our liking, nor we can bargain the due dates with the lecturers. Our one day of lectures is equivalent to 1 week of lectures in NZ. and yep, the WHOLE DAY. Dun be amazed tt the lecturer could finish at least 2 -3 chapters or even a half of a particular module a day.

We are all absorbing as much information as we can. coz by the end of the month, it will be the final exam of the module. PLUS, due to my course of study, we have a lot of lab work which required us to write report, and the longest due date given was 2 weeks. we had 1 which required us to hand in the report the very next day.

It is NOT that i wanna act hardworking or wat. It's i have no choice! TYL is famous of being a slacker, i'll slack every chance i have, BUT i cant! This is the choice i've made, i need to accept it. SO i may not be able to join the gatherings or slacking sessions as frequently. STILL, i tried to be there as many sessions as possible.

TYL is oso famous of MIA in class, but not this time round. Coz every min counts in the lecture. Last time, I MIA, i can juz self study i can fully understand and do well in exams. But this time round, i need to listen to absorb. Say tt i'm old liao, brain function not as well as last time and it is a long time since i last STUDIED for real. So I'm trying to absorb.

PLUS, TYL dun have any savings(serve me right), so now without work, my only source of income is from tuition. My time is divided for tuitions, reports and classes... n i dun really have any more time left.

I'm glad tt most ppl ard me are very understanding. However, i noe it is frustrating when i kept saying i not free, got test, need to do report blah blah blah... and can be very annoying when it comes to arranging time /slots.

Juz wanna let u all noe, it is NOT tt i wanna act hardworking or trying to SHOW OFF tt i'm REALLY bz with sch.. it is really I've NO CHOICE.

I've chose to come back to sch, i dunno if i'm able to survive these 2 yrs or do well... but i wanna do my best, at least i will not live with regrets in future.

Thanks ppl, for ur utmost understanding...

2010-09-24T10:32:00.004+08:00

No matter how stress and 'xiong' the sch life is, we still made frens. I realised that I have yet introduced my new found classmates. hahaha... yep, they are funny, and cute. and most of them are just so young. TYX cant get away from ppl born in 1983, i cant get away from ppl born in 1987.

The guys in my class are of tyx's age, the girls are younger.

These are my 'clique' in sch. We have lunch together, sit together in class and go crazy in class. oh yeah, and read 'My Paper'. wahahhaa... so cute, pretty and funny.

Huijuan, the girl elder than me, she is brave to give up her career for studies.

The girls, most are TP students, they are clever, hardworking and pretty... hahaaa... they will ku zhong dai le...

These are the guys in my class. They are funny guys who never fail to amaze me with their "inner" talents. They can mimic lecturers so well that they tok in their slang/accent/ with their styles.

Some are just humorous. hahahaa..

went out with them last night, enjoyable! hahaha.. so these bunch of didis and meimeis are fun loving afterall... juz pray hard this course dun made us lose all the fun! :)

2010-09-20T13:24:00.002+08:00

wooo.. i didnt noe it has been so long since i last posted an entry... well... life have been so bz lor...
Official start of the degree programme... a test every 2 weeks.. (in fact, i juz finished my 2nd test for the mth juz now), reports to be handed in the next day after practical... time juz fly pass...
next week.. i'll be off for study week... yes, my 1st exam.. 30th Sep... then 1st oct will start a new paper (known as module in SG context)... Crazy life....

last weekend i went to Crown Plaza hotel with my fave ppl... hahhaah thanks to cheryl for her invite... hehhehe... yesh.. i got a test today, i still spend my sat playing and staying overnight.. coz the place is juz superb!!! my rotters, yt and cheryl (it has been a looooong time since we last rot like tt?)... went for a swim at the wonderful pool, and slack at the lounge with free flow of alcohol and finger foods (not those frozen then fried stuff, are REAL cheese with crackers, nice cookies, etc) imagine u are seeping wine and eating cheese with crackers... with ppl u love so much ard u... HEAVENLY!!!!! ok.. i did 4got i got test at tt pt of time.. hheheheee

back to reality... time to go for lab.... then tuition then slack tonight!!! hehehehee :p

2010-08-28T16:57:00.002+08:00

It is a long time since i last enjoyed myself this much! after much consideration, i decided not to go for my sch's welcome bbq and went over to GK 7th mth celebration. and i didnt regret it!!!!!!

when i reached wdl, simon came out and drove me in. When i stepped into GK, and walked into the event area, i didnt expect anything but juz 'hi' frm various ppl. coz the event this time round was quite 'sane' - not like past yrs, where all of ur running ard shouting and making ppl to bottoms up. they were all sitting at their respective tables eating and drinking normally.

I walked in, 受到明星般的欢迎，真的受宠若惊. i didnt expect it to be soooooooo.... overwhelming? *i can use this word rite?*, anyway, ppl frm pdtn, frm sales side surrounded me, pulling me to their tables... simon was beside me, pulling me away frm them, (i felt like superstar, wahahaha), then asmine came in and i hid behind asmine...

Then i started to run ard, saying hi made tons of noise. proud to say, 本来沉闷的地方，被我炒热了！！！hahaha.. ok, i admit i was damn noisy... but this type of function need to be as noisy as possible de mah... :p but, call me any names... but i really like the 'welcome' feeling...

as usual, drinks are widely available.. this time, there is Hoegaarden.... Woooo.... no one sang ktv, so i start the ball rolling, then can sang duet with Simon! LOVE IT!!!!

but ppl started to go off ard 7plus, b4 8, only left me, kelvin and de hua. Steven was drunk le, so we asked a colleague to send him back. then we left GK.

Kelvin and i felt tt it was still early, 8plus nia... and we haven reach our quota for drinks. so last min, kelvin asked me if i wanna go over to tony's coffeeshop there to eat and drink. and boom.. we were there with tony and ah yeo... we drank and eat (yes, the food there is 1000000000 x better than GK de buffet).... we chat till 11 plus.. soooooo happy... with them, no matter hw much u drink, u wun feel terrible or drunk... u juz feel happy.... :p

2010-08-26T09:48:00.002+08:00

I was ultimate late for class today! coz of tt toopid bus! damn irritated with the bus! waited for half an hr, then 3 buses came tgt. damn!! and this is not the 1st time. TYX oso faced the same prob!!!! she left hse 1.5 hrs b4 me!!! the bus is already taking its own sweet time!!!

i'm sooooo gonna to write a complain letter to SMRT!!!!

2010-08-22T02:30:00.002+08:00

Have been logging into blogger, but end up didnt update. Ok, time to update...

3 weeks of sch... gonna be the final week, then my degree preparation program will come to an end. Next mth, is the REAL thing, the start of my 2 years journey....

nw then i truly understand y wy told me she cant cfm dates with us when she was in Massey for the 1st few mths. They LOVE last min stuff... last min changed of time table, last min addition of workshops... NEVER one day i can go back on time... end up i have to rush for my tuition.... headache...

Good news.. NONE of my classmates can guess my actual age!!! hehheehee.. ALL to i'm born in 1986... woooo... actually... i'm 21 every yr... ehehhe... cool.... my classmates are actually interesting and quite good as of now.... and got shuai ge to see (wy drooling over him).... not bad lor.... hehehehe.... tt shuai ge is not my dish... he seems too guai... but he got a great body and nice tan color... :)

i always wonder.... have i changed? or will i change? is it for the better or for the worse? i've seen changes ard me... some are for the better, some are for the worse.. WU NAI!!! heard stories of a good fren... he was once such a good buddy... wat caused him to changed? dunno.. maybe his new gf? haiz... well... ppl changed every min.. we have to accept it... no matter wat rite?

2010-08-05T01:16:00.003+08:00

Sch has started for 4 days... and there is no ONE single day tt i'm not rushing. NOT late for sch, is late for tuition.

timetable stated 5pm to end. but dunno y it can drag till 6sth. Nw i undestand y wy always told me they cannot cfm, coz dunno wat time sch end. FULLY UNDERSTAND!

Assignments piled up. I've handled in 1-2 liao, nw doing the 3rd 4th 5th... wooo.. wat i got myself into?! i'm looking fwd to weekends!

To my surprise, i got 2 girls in my class who happened to be my proj students for SFMA competition for 2 different yrs! cool rite! one moment, i was supervising them, next moment, we become classmates... wahahaha

2nd day of sch, i've met him. i stunned, dunno wat to do... i juz stunned and stared for 3 secs. my mind went blank. he nudged me, i juz mumbled a bye, and went off.... i didnt tok to him... dunno wat to say.... but when he nudged me... i realised hw much i missed his arms... (sounds wrong?) wahahaha... well, back to REALITY! tyl muz work hard... stop think those idiotic stuff :p

2010-08-01T00:20:00.002+08:00

1st Aug - Last day of taka fair!

Old liao... work for 2 weeks with breaks in the middle i oso wanna die liao... wahahaha... but to think of the $$... ok lah...

@ taka, hunks and babes are in every corner... so cool... it is a pleasure to my eyes lor...

saw Kym Ng, Joanne Peh on separate occasions... noe a few more ah boys (the promoters)... wahahaa

2nd Aug - 1st day of sch! I pray tt everything will go well and smooth!!!

It marks the starting of my student life of 2 yrs!!!

Gambatte!

2010-07-24T01:41:00.002+08:00

The time table is out.
wooo... and it is getting nearer and nearer to my dream of getting a degree...

It is so exciting yet scary...

the 1st lect/test is BIOCHEM by TSA!!! haiz... make me wonder....biochem is my killer!! TSA is my killer lect! haven start yet, i see my 死期... hw?! hw??

TYL, u can de.. jia you jia you jia you!!!

2010-07-16T15:25:00.008+08:00

Have been clearing my desk, re-arranging my lecture notes during poly time... and I found this - an assignment for Effective Communication Skills - Journal Practice.

My Regret

I have a very good male friend. He was always there for me when I needed him. He accompanied me when I was lonely; he listened to all my grumbles; he made me laugh when I was too stress up; coaxed me to sleep in sleepless nights; gave me a warm hug when I was helpless. I felt that I was fortunate to find someone who was so nice to me.

One day, he told me that he wanted to go and stayed over at his friend's house for overnight computer games, so he could not accompany me the day after. The first thing that came to his mind was that he wanted to join his friends as they were all staying over for a night of games. He felt that cancelling our meeting that day was not a big deal. But I lost my temper the moment he told me he was cancelling the meeting, as the first thing that flashed in my mind was that I was less important than his friends; that I was nothing to him. I shouted at him, saying that he only came to me when he needed my help and all sorts of accusations. He tried to reason with me, explained to me. However, I was too angry to think rationally. I refused to listen to him and even hanged up on him.

In the end, he stopped contacting me for a few days. Actually, he did not contact me because he knew that I was still mad and nothing he said could get into my head, so he let me cool down first before he contacted me. At that time, my mind was telling me that he really did not treat me as a special friend; I was just a normal friend to him. He did not care if I was hurt or angry. I could not control myself, so I called and scolded him for being heartless, and insensitive. I told him that I was stupid to think that I was important to him. I was very unreasonable.

He was angry, and shouted at me. He asked why I was so unreasonable. Why I was putting so much to the situation? If I was not important to him, why would he bother to be there for me whenever I needed someone? I kept quiet because I was scared as he never shouted at me before. I realised that I was too irrational; I did not cool myself down to think properly. I let my automatic thoughts rule me and caused the fight. I apologised. He told me that my words were hurtful, and I should think about his feelings too.

After that incident, we were back to normal. Too bad, I did not really learn from this mistake, similar incidents happened a few more times. We are not close anymore.

Now, I have learned that I should not let the illogical me to rule me. I should have cooled myself down, clarified things with him in a peaceful manner. I should not have accused him and should not assume things. If I had thought first before I acted, I would tell him that I was not stopping him to be with his friends. It was just that I felt hurt when he cancelled the meeting that was decided a few days ago because his friend invited him last minute. Maybe thing would not have turned so ugly.

After reading this, the 1st thing i tot... WAH, I HANDED THIS TYPE OF WORK IN?!??! OMG!

1. The English sucks (and I realised that there were a few mistakes that my tutor didnt mark me down), i'm like marking my student's work, which i would blow my top! and to think tt my tutor gave me 74%. wahaha

2. How childish can I be?! OMG!! just coz of this incident.. i can create such a big woo haa!? wah!! Amazing!

but well... these are the memories that are so close to ur heart.. wahaha.. if not for this entry... i dun think i would even remember this had happened(till now i still cant recall exactly hw this incident happened). hmmm... i muz have felt terrible at tt time ba...

this oso proved one thing.. no matter hw hurtful/painful at tt pt... u will 4get eventually.. this entry was 4-5yrs ago.. wahaha...

2010-07-15T01:17:00.003+08:00

I noe i'm slow... it has been more than a yr since she 1st started out as a contestant in Taiwan's SuperIdol 2008 (超级偶像2008), and nw her 2nd album 《相反的我》is already out.

I knew that there is this particular singer tt had created a big woo haa throughiut the contest, however i wasnt really into it, and the only song i noe was 《黑裙子》, ending song of 《敲敲爱上你》. Ivan was the one who 1st intro this song to me, and i was attracted to her vocal (i tot it was a guy initally), but again, i didnt really research on her. only noe that she is not those girly type.

I only REALLY get noe to her when i watched 娱乐百分百(100% Entertainment) recently. She was cute, shuai, funny... wooo... then i did an intense research on her. Starting to get to noe more abt her, and followed her clips during her contest. SHE WAS SUPERB during the contest. Now i understant y she was the 人气王 and sebsequently the Champion! She cried when she tok abt her ex and dedicate a song 《黑色幽默》to the ex... she showed ppl the 'Man' side of hers, the 'gentle' side, the 'cute' side, the 'Rocker' side, the 'funny' side... she is juz someone i looking out for for a BF!! wahahaha...

Oops.. i 4got to tell you who is she...

相反的我宣传照

Name: Zhang Yun Jing (Jing)
Chinese: 张芸京(original name 张芸菁)
Nickname: 京爷、阿京
DOB: 6/9/1983
1st album - 2009 《破天荒》
《破天荒》，《黑裙子》，《让我照顾你》 are a few songs i like in the album.
2nd album - 2010 《相反的我》
currently i like《坏了》, wait till i finish listening to the whole album! wahahaha...

So, she is my latest idol! my latest obession!!! wahahahahaa

Information from Chinese Wikipedia-Zhang Yun Jing
New Album《相反的我》can get from haoting.com - Zhang Yun Jing

2010-07-13T00:26:00.008+08:00

Woo.. bdae is over...haiz... sadz... but i've enjoyed myself sooooo much... thank you everyone who made it happened and oso those who remembered and left a msg somewhere... wahahaha...

i went to sooooo many different rest.. tasted so many different kinds of food for this bdae....

29th June - outing with my office gang - Kelvis, yan, lihua, tricia, bingxiong. and TYX (she seems to appear in most of the celebration outings... wahahahaa)

Had our dinner @ SBW Bai Mi Fen (it is nice.. go try.. close on Wed)

Then we brought our Uncle Kelvis to MOF for desserts... wahahha...

This is wat my gang get for me.... :)

8th July - start of the official celebration... Steamboat dinner @ Fat Fish Rest on top the SBW hill... Old Nelson rd with 5G1u and YT... yes.. my fave gang.. as usual... it was filled with fun and laughter... just love spending time with them... anything will taste nice... :p

9th July - Out with dinner with my cute family. We had dinner @ Pu Tian Rest in JP. Yes, the food is nice, service is nt bad. and Thank lyn for ur bdae gift. :)

TYX was busier than me. We had Seoul Garden with Harris in the afternoon, then she went to JP for Ice Cream, then had dinner with us. See... i think it is more of her bdae.... wahahahhaa... :p

This Esprit Collection watch is DAMN EXPENSIVE is from my beloved TYX and TYW... Thanks darlings.... This is an automatic watch... it is juz soooooo coool.... wahahahaa...

10th July - TYX (see.. she is the fixed Guest of most of the celebrations) and I went down Taka to take a look at the booth Lion City have selling smoothie and some GK products... then met up with Kelvis and went to have a late lunch @ Kelvis and TYX's latest fave - Geylang 田鸡粥...

then after tt we met up with HJM, Cheryl for dinner @ Tampopo at Liang Court. It is super nice.... we had our fair share of Black pig there.. wahahahaa....

Then we went chilling out @ Helipad... cool place.. but nt really high enough wo... but the company counts!!! hehehee

Then we went back home for cake cutting session... so many ppl was at my hse... my bro's frens, colleague and his daughter... so nice of them.... THANKS everyone... then HJM stayed to watch World Cup 3rd placing match (Germany won!!!!!) wooooooo

11th July (actual day) - We went for our long awaited KTV @ Clementi Party World.... cool leh... wahahaha... then yp came in with bdae cake.. actually come to think of it... we RARELY meet up each other le.. everyone so bz with everything....

anyway, after tt we attended yingxiu's wedding... our yingxiu is the 1st to get married in our poly gang!!!! she was sooooo gorgeous... wahahhaa...

That almost wrap up my bdae celebration... hahaha

Oh ya... recieved a special sms frm Simon (GK), he 自弹自唱 Happy birthday song for me... so nice of him... hehehee..

he always will send me a song sang by him.... it is juz so nice.. it is like he will noe hw i felt at tt pt of time.. 他的歌有时真的有疗伤的作用。。。 :)

2010-07-03T00:21:00.002+08:00

Life after the offical off...

2nd day, went for my long awaited hair treatment + hair cut.... (i got a new hairstyle... and a new color.. wahahaha),
I wanted Hebe short hairstyle, but my hairstylist told me.. Hebe got professional to help her maintain, and for my character, i will not maintain it de... so she decided to give me a similar, yet easy to maintain (dun even need to comb my hair after wake up! hahahaa) style...

so half of my day is spent sitting in the saloon, highlighting my hair, then scalp treatment then cut hair.... she asked her assistant to help to hightlight my hair 1st. He is cute... if u really go observe him, he will sometime give tiny tiny expression... which made him even cuter (ok... i got soft spots for guys whose actions are cute)... anyway, initially i kept quiet and read my book (and took occassional looks at him)... but i think he was those chatty type.. he started to tok to me... i entertained him initially... slowly it became a chat..

when he washed my hair.. he was gentle... making sure i was comfortable... and water temp is ok for me.. and he didnt wet my own tee... these are juz normal service provide by any saloon... nth to ooooo and ahhhh over rite?? there are more....

I was doing my hair treatment... coz this treament they use is very cooling.. will make u feel very cold de... he told me if i feel cold muz tell him... i told him i'm ok... i was freezing cold... n i think he noticed my goosebumps.. he told me once he finished applying, he will give me an apron...
he took the apron, then blow it with the hair dryer (i tot he was blowing off the loose hair on it... but NO! he blew it, so the apron will be warm when he covered it around me!!! coz he did it twice.. the 2nd time he did the same thing with a new apron) soooooo sweet rite??

then he told me he changed a warm tea for me.
then i heard it... someone called him... guess wat is his name... he is called DESMOND! hahaha.... of all names.... anyway, he seems like a playful boy.. he will distrub his colleagues.. his smile... his gentle tone.... *meltz*

after my stylist finished cutting my hair... she went to attend to other ppl, he came n helped me brushed off the loose hair... then he went and get a piece of tissue paper for me... to brush off the loose hair on my face.... so 贴心... hahahhaa...

I'll go there more frequent for my treatments liao.. wahahahahhaa

2010-06-30T00:20:00.000+08:00

Ok... as requested... 5g1u meeting CONFIRMED! hehehee

2010-06-26T03:22:00.002+08:00

PS PS... it is really abit small.. hopefully this is big enough... abit blur though... :p

2010-06-23T23:30:00.005+08:00

It is the time of the year! The year's biggest event is just round the corner! Book ur dates early... not necessary 1st come 1st serve.... wahahahaha... Please look at the dates tt are being booked currently....

2010-06-12T01:38:00.004+08:00

I’ve found a song specially dedicated to all my frens who were being hurt in love….
It is from SHE’s new album – SHERO, 爱就对了 (Just Love)

Click here to play the song

Below are the lyrics, juz in case some of my ‘potato’ frens need help in explaining the lyrics… I will do a direct translation….my ‘england’ not tt good.. I will still try my best lah.. wahahaha

总是要流一些滚烫热泪
we always need to shed some tears
才能换来对于爱的体会
in order to understand love
你看世界没有毁灭心也没有碎
you see, the world is not destroyed, your heart didn’t shuttered into pieces
其他的就交给时间解决
others, just let time to settle it

你当然可以重新再爱
of coz u can love again
受过伤的更懂怎样爱与被爱
u will noe better hw to love or to be loved after being hurt
所以别再理有他的回忆有空再回忆
so dun care about memories with him, think abt it when u free
离开你的只有他但是爱还在
he left u, but not the love

听我说爱是对的
listen to me, love is right
错的是我们还没学会爱
the problem is that we haven learn all about love
就急着爱人而爱错人
then eager to love someone, in the end loving the wrong one
可是爱就对了遇到下一个
but just love, when u meet the next one
爱上就爱了痛苦或快乐都是获得
just love, happy or misery, it is still sth for us

我当然经历过你现在的感受
of coz, I’ve been thru the feelings u r feeling nw
我想那是人必经的折磨 Yeah~
I think this is a necessary torture we need to go thru in life
也许每个人都该是某个人成长的助手
mayb everyone is someone’s aid to grow up
受一点苦痛帮助她成熟
abit of pain and hurt, help her to be more mature

听我说爱是对的
listen to me, love is right
错的是我们还没学会爱
the problem is that we haven learn all about love
就急着爱人而爱错人
then eager to love someone, in the end loving the wrong one
可是爱就对了遇到下一个
but just love, when u meet the next one
爱上就爱了痛苦或快乐都是获得
just love, happy or misery, it is still sth for us

别探听他的线索别等待他会回头
no need to noe hw is he, dun wait for him to turn back
爱~ 不喜欢看人软弱 L
OVE ~ dun like to see ppl weaken
别继续把心封锁别躲在伤心里头
dun lock up ur heart, dun bury urself in misery
爱来了别错过
dun miss out love

听我说爱是对的
listen to me, love is right
错的是我们还没学会爱
the problem is that we haven learn all about love
就急着爱人而爱错人
then eager to love someone, in the end loving the wrong one
可是爱就对了遇到下一个
but just love, when u meet the next one
爱上就爱了痛苦或快乐都是获得
just love, happy or misery, it is still sth for us
听我说爱是对的
listen to me, love is right
错的是别人自以为懂爱
ppl tot tt they know love, but they are wrong
才会又爱人又伤害人
that’s why they will love the person in one hand, yet hurt that person on the other
可是爱就对了
but just love
爱了就值得爱这门功课
is worth it... Love, this kind of assignment
艰深但快乐爱就对了
strong and deep but happy, just love

听我说爱是对的
listen to me, love is right
错的是别人自以为懂爱
ppl tot tt they know love, but they are wrong
才会又爱人又伤害人
that’s why they will love the person in one hand, yet hurt that person on the other
可是爱就对了
but just love
爱了就值得爱这门功课
is worth it. Love, this kind of assignment
艰深但快乐爱就对了
strong and deep but happy, just love
爱来了就别错过
dun miss out love

Suddenly the song is not as nice after adding in the english part... quite 'chui' leh.. wahahahaha.. the chinese lyrics really meaningful... try reading it ba... :)

2010-06-09T00:14:00.007+08:00

I went out shopping @ JP on Sat with Yan yan... she cant find a suitable pair of shoes... or shld i say she got no luck.. coz every shoes she tried.. they were either not her size, or didnt have stock.... tough luck...

yes, in the process of accompanying her... i found a pair of sandals tt i like... so i bought it.. yes.. i shld be saving $$$... but then i really need sandals.. coz i dun have any left!!! :p
then we each bought a watch..... *i need watch too, mine all spoilt*

the next day, i went Batu Pahat (i 4got hw it spelled, but i guessed most of u will noe.. ivan's fave place), then i got another 1 sandals and 1 heels (cant help it... it was cheap.. n sponsored by my parents)....

New Watch

My 3 pairs of new sandals

Then coz ate too much and too oily the day b4... my stomach was giving me trouble on mon, thus i was on MC... went to the doc, then to CWP meet yt for lunch... she changed her hp (Finally)... but i think yx was more excited than her... anyway, we were walking ard looking at diamonds.. and fall in love with some of them... erm.. yt asked me to buy for her.. in order for me to buy for her, i need ppl to buy for me 1st.. wahahaha... anyway, THE DAY is near liao... can start thinking le leh...

Both are from Citigems - Perfect Love series $158 and $398 respectively... nice nice rite?? hmmm.. i was telling everyone, i got no $$ to buy.. so look at the pics... hehe... or else now GSS leh.. i sure buy one de... i bought 2 for myself le... :X ever since i started work... :p

This is from Gold Heart Rosella, nice rite? but i 4got the price le.. i think is quite steep... wahahahaha...

Finally, this is wat TYX likes.. hahaha.. i helping her to advertise to ppl oso.. :p

2010-06-05T00:22:00.004+08:00

SG Food Expo is finally over... This yr seem extremely tired and shag.. y? no energy, no fun, no excitment, no alcohol, no team spirit, no sales....

07, 08, 09 (09 was the peak) were so much fun and laughter and craziness... those were the days... the team spirit.. i dun think any of the vendors there could fight.... but this yr... promoters r demure... and dun dare to push nor play... so end up leaving me, tyx and kelvis who were crazy... can u imagine hw bad it was??? even kelvis and steven came out to sell!!!

Normally they were juz hanging ard inside waiting to top up stocks... or to prepare samples... this yr, they were out to sell!!! can u imagine hw bad sales were? and the new promoters totally dun have team spirit... and some of them juz cant play!!!

2009 was the peak... we can actually finish everything by 7... and packed up... while others trying to sell and earn the last few bucks... those were the days.. where salesmen and promoters tgt have the fighting spirit... where the mgmts give worker the motivation to fight on... things changed over 1 yr...

Food Expo 2008....sometimes.. we juz cant win time..

Food Expo 2009

There are changes every min and sec... so wat can we do?? juz learn to accept and adapt... life still goes on....

2010-05-25T02:10:00.002+08:00

I drank almost 8 cups of milk tea ( UNWILLINGLY), causing me now wide awake!!! damn!

anyway, i recieved a piece of good news.. Yingxiu is getting married! and guess wat? her wedding day is on my bdae!! hahhaha... so cool rite??? BUT 1 big prob... SHLD i go anot? this is the qns...

y i dun feel like going?
1. I'm broke
2. It's my bdae! (though tyx said NO ONE will ask me out tt day!)
3. I dun wanna see him

Y i wanna go?
1. Coz she is the 1st in SP Clique to get married
2. coz i can meet up with frens i didnt meet for quite some time
3. Coz i got a dress for her wedding (hahaha yes.. i noe it she getting married tis yr.. so bought a dress durning CNY)
4. if i dun go, wy will not go, ly sure not go.. then seems not nice...

well... i was giving advice to ppl ard me when it come to matters of heart.. yet i myself am facing this prob... toopid rite?

Oh ya... another thing.. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN GUYS' MINDS!?!? On the same day, i got some rxn frm two guy buddies of mine tt made me sooo damn annoyed!

1. i was at SP collecting my offer letter and stuff with tyx. then we had lunch in SP juz so happen tt it was the same place where my two buddies were having lunch. Female buddy noe i was there.. and was so excited tt came by a few times juz to make some noise.

Male buddy was no where be seen, so i decided to call him( he ALWAYS sounded excited when i was in sch). he didnt sound happy tt i was near him, nor he sounded excited... me, being me... i juz feel tt mayb he had a bad day.. and was having lunch with some big shots... so cannot sound too informal... so i juz brushed off the feeling of being 敷衍.

then he was almost near my table when he went to take some food... he didnt even bother to come by and say hi... which was sooooooo not him.. i didnt take it at heart actually.. but then when i left the place, the more i recall tt scenerio, the more disappointed i'm... so.. even a hi is a chore to him? well... suan liao lah..

2. I sms this guy buddy, he didnt reply (ok, he might be bz); then i called him ah hr later after i smsed.... (he didnt pick up, which was soooo not him. HE WOULD NEVER MISSED A CALL UNLESS HE WANNA DO IS PURPOSELY.) again, me being me, i juz think tt he left his phone on his desk, and he was somewhere else... but he didnt return call or reply sms (which he NEVER did tt to me)...

i got a strong feeling someone told him sth tt is nt true tt caused his rxn.. i cant say i noe this buddy inside out.. but i def noe hw he reacts to certain things... DAMN HIM! hw can he so nt trust his buddy, me!?!? i tot we r always partners in crime!? n i totally no image in front of him de lor... if there is possibility.. WHY THE HELL AM I NOT CARING MY IMAGE!?
toopid man! eeeeek.. 让别人有机可乘！真是个笨蛋！让人挑拨！
TYL will not be so toopid like u lah!

2010-05-24T01:40:00.002+08:00

Found this on my Chinese Blog... this is 生命的无奈？ hahahaa,..

世界上最远的距离
不是生与死的距离
而是我站在你面前你不知道我爱你
　　
世界上最远的距离
不是我站在你面前你不知道我爱你
而是爱到痴迷却不能说我爱你
　　
世界上最远的距离
不是我不能说我爱你
而是想你痛彻心脾却只能深埋心底
　　
世界上最远的距离
不是我不能说我想你
而是彼此相爱却不能够在一起
　　
世界上最远的距离
不是彼此相爱却不能够在一起
而是明知道真爱无敌却装作毫不在意
　　
世界上最远的距离
不是树与树的距离
而是同根生长的树枝却无法在风中相依
　　
世界上最远的距离
不是树枝无法相依
而是相互了望的星星却没有交汇的轨迹
　　
世界上最远的距离
不是星星之间的轨迹
而是纵然轨迹交汇却在转瞬间无处寻觅
　　
世界上最远的距离
不是瞬间便无处寻觅
而是尚未相遇便注定无法相聚
　　
世界上最远的距离
是鱼与飞鸟的距离
一个在天，一个却深潜海底

2010-05-14T00:38:00.003+08:00

today went to Hotel 81 Selegi with Ivan.... (ivan say muz finish the whole sentence)... to acc him to get shirt frm a tailor... wahahahhaa...

We went to have our dinner at Victor's Kitchen.. This is actually one of my fave place for dim sum... it is REALLY nice... but coz it seems to be out of place and have not been there for quite sometime... i didnt mention it to anyone else until today.

Yes, it was LCM who brought me to this place... and i fall in love with it... the dim sum IS NICE... esp the carrot cake.. and yes.. LCM did da bao all the way back to wdl for me,... juz coz i called him and said i was hungry... hahaha.. i told ivan abt it.. come to think of it.. i was quite demanding then.. ehehehe... hahhaa.. LCM, if u r reading this.. PS lah.. for being so demanding then.... ivan told me... can see tt he is good in his own ways... but well.. hahaha... being frens is still a better choice...

Look at the food we ordered.. nice nice... of coz... the company oso plays a part....

Love toking to Ivan...with him... i can tok non-stop... he allows me to be toopid.. to dream (but he will tell me to stop dreaming), he listens to my most inner tots without condemning me... i can juz tell him everything and anything!!!! wahahahahhaa...

IVAN, LISTEN! u can change everything on u, ur looks, ur voice, ur hairstyle, ur size! but not the inner IVAN i noe... NEVER k?!?! coz i dunno who can allow me to speak so freely liao.. wahahhaa...

btw i found a happy place... it is the soft toys machines arcade @ Marina Sq.... no need to buy or play... juz walk ard... i feel happy.... (ivan say i very easily man zhu... )...

2010-05-10T08:52:00.001+08:00

25th anniversary is finally over!!! great! today everyone is on leave... TYL is the only one working in the 1st floor office.. no pdtn today... aiyo... damn sian damn sian damn sian... toopid meeting...

2010-05-06T23:09:00.002+08:00

Ppl say no matter what happen outside... u can always fall back onto ur family.. they are ur support... they are the only ones who dun betray u... they are the ones who always be there for u... i never doubt this sentence.. i always have a lovable, supporting family... in fact a lot of ppl envy tt i have such a family... cute daddy mommy, caring bro... lovable sis... wat more can i ask for rite?

BUT u noe... human changed... even ur flesh and blood kin changed... i was looking thru some old photos... i realised tt how happy we were last time... me n my bro were so close... i think we were buddies... even when my sis was born... she didnt break our bond... things changed as u grew up...

we no longer close... we no longer can chat... we are juz merely taking turns to speak... it is so hurtful... i was trying to care... but he doesnt care... i noe he is tired.. he need to work for long hrs... and need to take care a lot of things... but HE is the ONLY one tired??? he work for more than 12 hrs everyday... yep... it is taxing and tiring....but all he thinks tt he is tired? The stress i faced at work, when i need to go tuition straight frm work without dinner...then be stress by students' parents... and worried abt then students... when i have to work at home till wee hrs... this is not tiring.. coz to him.. i'm juz rotting on FB, going out with frens.. lazing ard.... I M ENJOYING LIFE!! while he is slogging all the way... to him, we r juz lazing and wasting our life away, while he is the only one working hard...

i can ask hw is he.... coz he will juz snap at me... i cant concern abt him... coz to him i'm juz digging and nagging and trying to get him into trouble... he seems sick.. juz asked if he is ill... mayb i can cook /made some herbal stuff for him... but wat did he say!?!?! he snap at me!!! i saw tt he anyhow spend money...i nagged at him... he ignored me... m i in the wrong?!?!

i'm here trying ways and means to save and to earn more for my studies... he juz spend his HARD EARNED money like money is juz a few pieces of paper... so i'm in the wrong..
i sensed tt sth is wrong.. i tried to ask... end up... the look on his face... i'm in the wrong again...
i shldnt ask, i shldnt care.. i shldnt do anything... i juz shut up and mind my own business..

so y shld i be sad and lost tt i have a fren who is no longer close to me.. even my own bro oso like tt liao... so i guess... it muz be sth wrong with me... i'm not a gd fren.. i'm nt a gd sis... i'm someone who cant live up to anyone's standards...

i'm hurt.. but .. i have to smile infront of everyone... i'm juz so tired....... really... who noes the stress i'm facing.. the fear... the unforseen future??? sometime i really juz wanna hide in my own shell.. never to come out..

2010-04-24T20:40:00.002+08:00

i found a tiny note book, it was a long 4gotten notebook... reading thru it... i realised i had written some meaningful phrases when i read a chinese book. interesting.... muz share share... ehehehe

1. 爱情是一朵在悬崖绝壁边上的花，想摘取就必须要有勇气 ~ 莎士比亚

2. 信，可以挂号；爱情不可能挂号；等久了，人家就不收了。喜欢别藏在心底，一定要大胆告白

3. 不是不爱你，只是懒得说。因为除了爱你，还有更多更多的甜言蜜语，太多太多；所以放在心底，等着你慢慢发现。一举一动里都藏着我的真心，只是懒得说爱你。

4. 人总是有那么几分劣根性，得不到的东西总是最好的。再珍贵的宝贝，等到一拿到手，就被视为破铜烂铁了。

5. 选择你所爱需要成熟的智慧；爱你所选择需要建东的意志。

6. 人与人之间最远的距离不是生死，而是我在你身边你却不知道我的存在。~ 原∶张小娴but it is widely used everywhere

7. 所谓梦想这种东西，是人一辈子也放不了手的

8. 勇气并不会凭空出现，而等待或许会出现好时机，但是更多的时候，是自己创造出来的

9. 喜欢一个人，最好的结果，或许是跟对方在一起；但是在某些情况下，两个人在一起并不一定会幸福，所以他们选择退出、选择遗忘、选择回忆、选择守候。~ one of my faves

10. 记得，别随波逐流的等着幸福来找你，与其往后只剩下回忆，不如现在就拿出勇气

11. 当你发现所喜欢的人喜欢上自己的好朋友，不要退让，而是尽最大的努力试着打动他的心，然后让他做选择，这样，即使心碎，也绝不会后悔。

12. 在感情上，你所要学习的或许是如何使自己更自私的去爱；爱情一旦经过无私的退让或友情的赠与，往往就会因此变质。

13. 难过总会消失，而一定会有某些重要的东西，会永远留在你的记忆里。

14. 天堂不是个地方，它是种感觉。有人并肩牵手、互相陪伴关怀、踏实温暖的感觉

15. 遗憾像是把刀在心底割出一道伤痕；一道无法痊愈的伤痕，总在夜深人静时滴着血。那道伤痕，就叫悔恨。

16. 回忆之所以苦涩是因为思念。因为相思的苦，还有想念的涩。

17. 选择逃避或遗忘过去的伤痛，也许是最好的办法。但是只有选择面对才能成长。

18. 有些东西，即使破损得很严重，或者你认为它根本不再存在了，但这世界上，它永远是那么独一无二、无可取代。~ This is another of my fave

19. 谈恋爱就象写一篇作文，一开始，心里总有自己的架构和计划，只不过，除非动笔，不然你永远不知道，在空白的纸上等待自己的，究竟是什么过程、什么结局。

2010-04-20T23:54:00.004+08:00

Woooo.... it has been a bz mth sia... everyday was filled with new 'surprises'.

FHA (Food Hotel Asia) 2010 is on nw tilll Fri.... @ Expo.... yep.. i juz came back frm Expo... and yep, i will be there on the last day too.. 1st day and last day... y? coz i nt pretty lor... tt's y my kelvis kor kor BEARs to let me do ALL the manual work... i got such a wonderful kor rite? wahahahaa

Ok.. Nw the updates.... I've withdrew my part time Adv. Dip. Course... wait... dun start screaming.... coz i got in!! got into Massey Uni! 2 yrs of crazy, no life, stressful (ok, exp + lect frm this course told me, the word stressful is still nt enough to describe it), no money, no nth... only reports, exams and more reports and more exams....

It is a change after 5 yrs.... m i prepared for it? i think i'm .... but u never noe...

the biggest challenge is the money.. 1st i need to save for sch fees, then having no income mthly... i cannot eat watever i like, buy watever i fancy...

yes, i'm excited... and looking fwd... this is gonna be a turning pt in my life.... i no need to wonder shld i go study EVERY YEAR when the application opens...

Soon TYL will be officially become a POOR STUDENT (穷学生), so kind-hearted souls out there.... pls make ur donations to TYL Funding Organisations... any amt oso can.. it is the tots tt count.. wahaha...

Gd bye KTVs, Gd bye Cabs, Gd bye nice food, Gd Bye late night movies, Gd Bye Chilling, Gd by shopping, Gd by overseas trip

Hello Reports, Hello Assignments, Hello exams, Hello no life.... :)

2010-04-07T01:01:00.005+08:00

Today 6th April 2010, Ae is in SG, i took off to go meet up with him and we went Universal Studio SG @ Sentosa!

For someone whom NEVER been to any of these kinds of theme parks anywhere (Disney Land/Universal Studio/ Waner Bros etc) except for Genting Theme Park, Escape Theme Park. THIS IS COOL!!! it is a cool place, with wonderful rides and of coz beautiful place!

if not for Ae, i dun think i would have the motivation to go. The tix are so damn ex... but after going today, i DIDNT regret, and i find it WORTH!!!!

ok....1st thing 1st...

Today is a weekday, so the ticket is $66 per pax. However, due to the soft opening, DBS card has promo with them, so a discount of $6 per pax, which made our tickets $60 each. then, they gave us each a $10 cash voucher for food and $5 cash voucher for souvenirs. No minimum purchase needed. use as cash. so we no need to pay for anything when we r in there. ALL rides are inclusive

Frm Madagascar, to Far Far Away Land to Jurassic Park and Lost World to The Mummy in Ancient Eygpt to Sci-Fi City to New York City to Hollywood... It is filled with surprises... ok.. it is a pity that some rides are still not open yet, esp Battlestar Galactica™, but still is good...

The ride in Ancient Eygpt was surprisingly and amazingly good... tt we went for it twice... then oso the 4D movie, is cool.. plus the weather was ULTRA sunny today (TYX and I got a sunburn on our nose.. wahaha.), so didnt miss out much except for those tt r still closed...

i shall not spoil all the fun.... go and experience it urself!!!!

2010-03-29T00:25:00.002+08:00

i dun understand y SP made us go ALL the way down juz to take the admission card? At 1st i tot there was a series of process to go thru, tt's y when they told me my enrolment day was on 27th Mar, 0915, i 认命.. i cant avoid it.. i have towake up early.

but due to some circumstances, i was only back home at 4am on sat morning. hahaha... ok, i'm NOT blaming anyone.... this is really NOT intentional... things juz happen... wahahaha... it sounds wrong.. time flies when u enjoyed the company... nvm.. anyway back to reaching home at 4am, i only got to sleep at 5am. i woke up at 8am, and went out fast, hoping to reach at 9.15am.

I was slightly late, i went into the enrolment center, saw a familar guy. I knew is him... but then... i went ahead with my enrolment without calling out. i went over to hand in my letter of offer, then went to a counter, where the person asked me to filled up a survey form and she gave me my admission card and told me that, that's the end of the enrolment, i can check my time table one week before the term starts. i blur... tt's the end? and they made me all the way down juz to get tt card??? y cant they juz sent to me?? aiyo... i was suppose to meet yan and lh @ 12noon, but i was already free by 9.30am!!!!!

i went out... walked ard wondering where shld i go to rot my time away till it is time to meet them. (they were either slping or finishing some work, so cant come out early). i walked back to the station, once again i saw the familar figure walking otwards the car park... he got into a car and drove off...

suddenly, i was wondering... hw long we have not contacted each other? he got his driving licence during this period? he told me he didnt wanna learn driving. he say motorcycle was more practical... wooooo... things changed... well... it doesnt concern me anyway... hahahaha

anyway, i rot my time away in LJS in clementi. when it was almost time, i realised tt there was no longer any shuttle bus to ikea frm clementi, so we changed then meetin place to Queenstown.

we 3 girls, went to ikea then anchor pt then queensway shopping center even though ALL of us didnt get much sleep the previous night. but we ddint stay out too night.. so by evening, we went back home le.. and guess wat... our uncle called me at 9pm, asking if we r still otuside.... uncle said he is an owl, out only at night... but the truth is... uncle dun wanna go otu with us in the day!!! :p

Tt's my dreamy Sat... time to slp... WEEKENDS FLY!!

2010-03-25T00:03:00.003+08:00

A walk down the the familiar road, then i realised tt hw much memories were being throw at the back of my head... they were buried in the far end of my brain by myself....
if i didnt walk down tt familiar road... i guess i wun even remember the memories existed...

Sometimes i wonder.. hw do we determine 'letting go'?

Scenario 1
Girl A talked about the happy days she had with Boy A to anyone who asked.
She would smile and said, "Those were the days..."
And when Girl A met Boy A, they can chat happily like old times, and truly care for each other. Boy A would still tell Girl A everything (juz like last time), abt his newborn, his family, his surroundings. Girl A will also tell him everything from her work, her complaint, her whining...

There is no awkward situation or anything... juz pure frenship between these 2 who were once more than just frens....
Girl A would think of Boy A frm time to time. At the same time Boy A would also wonder hw Girl A is doing if they didnt contact for awhile. Both were very happy if there is a chance for them to meet up.
Girl A and Boy A both keep the things tt remind them of each other with them , so they can see it from time to time.

Scenario 2
Girl B didnt talk much about Boy B. She sometimes 4got that there is a Boy B in her life.
Yet, whenever she was at a place where they were once been there..... she would be in dazed.
Everything that had happened in the past, appeared before her like a movie.
Boy B did not contact Girl B, neither Girl B contacted Boy B.

When they happened to meet on the road or thru common frens, there was an awkward situation. They dunno hw and wat to tok about. mayb they would juz smile or simply walked past each other.

Girl B saw photos of Boy B with his current gf. Girl B will go into daze once again. Thinking about hw he sweet he was, now he is no longer there for her... but for another girl.

However, Girl B would never think of him, if she didnt pass thru the familiar places, or hear his name or see his photo.. She would hide everything tt is somehow related to Boy B.
Boy B tried to stop all contact and tried nt to go places that Girl B frequently goes.

So have girl A let go of her past r/s? Let go of Boy A and vice versa? or Is it Girl B who have let go? Boy B also let go already?

2010-03-16T01:04:00.002+08:00

刚看完Channel U 的魔幻视界，突然觉得跟现在自己就好像戏里的魔术师。。。

戏里的宣传部Ming对魔术学徒小鬼说∶

“观众爱看垃圾，我们就做垃圾。。。观众爱看色情，我们就做色情。。。我们就是要把观众拉回来。”

戏里的名宣传部经理Irene对魔术师James说:

“收视率就是成绩，收视率就是一切。。不管节目素质好不好，只要有收视率就是好节目。”

我老板今天早上跟我说:

“顾客爱喝屎，你就做屎。你做的产品再完美，顾客不喜欢，就算失败。你做的一样你认为是烂的东西，顾客喜欢，就是成功”

“销售成绩就是一切。不管味道对你来说好不好，会卖的，就是好产品，不会卖的就是失败的产品。”

James 和小鬼都好无奈，他们对魔术的热诚却为了收视率，要一而再的妥协。就如我现在的处境。为了销售成绩，我得让步。不爱人造味精、人造色素、人造糖精却一而再，再而三的放入我调的产品。
成本高，要减，所以加如糖精/味精。市场上最好卖的产品-有放入味精，我们就得加。。因为这是顾客要的口味。

小鬼说一句话:
“到底有没有人真正了解魔术、真正欣赏魔术？”
我问:
“到底有没有人真的会品尝食品？懂不懂什么是天然味道？”

想想看，好像只有我们这科系的人才讨厌味精、糖精的味道。市场上，大部分的人都爱吃人造味道。

什么推陈出新？什么创意？什么创新？这简直就是废话！销售额就是成绩单，就是断定产品的好坏的唯一标准。因为，在我们这社会里，没有人能接受新颖的事物。认命吧！我还真怀疑自己到底适不适合在这行混。

最近有小人在老板面前说东说西。还我得每天听老板说教。说什么我们没改进、没进步。问我有没有回家检讨、反省。问我有没有问过为什么产品会失败？我倒想问他们（包括那位小人），他们有没有回家检讨、有没有反省？为什么一定是我的错？孩子生出来不受欢迎，难道我不难过吗？为什么什么东西都说是我们？
每天就好象打仗。好累，所以懒得管、懒得看、懒得说、懒得解释。我不好就不好，我没能力就没能力。

2010-03-15T11:16:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was the birthday of our BELOVED BLUR BERNYCE! Lim Wen Ying!! hahaha...
Only the 3 of us went out, the others were not free. So me, Harris and LWY went out for lunch and coffee and rotting... LOVES rotting time with ROTTERS.

Anyway, those who noe wy, shld noe she always does sth perculiar/abnormal/weird/amazing/amusing..... well, on her birthday, she didnt disappoint us...
We went to Coffee Club for coffee/desserts/cakes... i'd asked the waitress to put a candle on a slice of cake. So when the cake was serve, i asked harris (who happened to sit opp her) to take a photo of her and the cake. and dunno wat happen, she laughed/breathe too hard... and the candle flame was being blew off by her actions. WE 3 stunned! We didnt sing birthday song, she didnt make a wish, the candle was out le... we looked at one and other then burst out of laughter....

since we have no lighter and we dun wanna to ask the waiter to light it for us AGAIN. we decided to do things the reversed way. Since candle was blown, then she would make a wish, then we sun birthday song.... cool rite? WY, always make sure her life is different frm other ppl... more exciting, funnier.. wahahhaah.... tt's the reason y everyone loves her rite? wahahaha :p

2010-03-06T22:44:00.002+08:00

It has been sometime since i last updated!!! wah... my blog nearly went into coma.. wahahaha..
nw i'm in the crossroads on my life AGAIN! haiz.. i hate myself for not able to make decisions.
i applied for Adv Dip, by right i shld get my confirmation and enrolment package nw... but till nw i didnt get it...
on the other hand.. i got the application form for Massey Uni... i think my lecturers die die wanna me go study for 2 yrs FULL TIME. they seems like refuse to let me study Adv Dip PART TIME! it makes me feel like they purposely dun send out the confirmation letter and enrolment for me! y???

nw wat???
Massey Uni Degree with honours (+/- SGD 14k for 2 years)
2 years FULL time, back to the no life student... no income.. lectures everyday, rush reports, study for exam... wat if i got rejected again!?!?! then i cant study adv dip... oso no degree....
but then i will get a degree with honours, no office politics, no more arguments with bosses...

Adv Dip (+/- SGD 2k or 4k? i 4got... for 2 years)
2 years PART time, study after work, tiring, stressful.... coz still have to study and rush reports
but then i got constant source of income and i still have a life..

aiyo... hw?? ppl already pursuing their own career liao... i'm still troubled to study or not!! OMG!!! haiz haiz haiz,,, how how??? eeeeekkkkk..

2010-02-10T01:20:00.002+08:00

Yes Ivan.. i noe u beat me in blogging abt Lyn's Baby... i let u de.. coz i was tooo tired.. hahahaha... if i really wanna beat u.. u think u would win me!?! wahahahaha

Anyway, yes... our dearest mommy, lyn gave birth to her 2nd girl on 6th feb 2010!!!! and on the 2nd day, ivan and i (the baby lovers) went to find her and baby
baby was sound asleep... coz BOTH Ivan and I are cushions to the baby.. so when we carried her.. she was sleeping so soundly... (hahah.. ivan, i die die oso wanna drag u into becoming 'cushions')
Look at her... soooooo sweet in uncle ivan's arms...

Well, mommy lyn haven tot of a name... so i decided to help her.. mommy lyn... i think hor... baby chinese name shld call 莘琳、莘玲(like cyndi wang xinlin?? (i noe the chinese character different lah... hahaha) 莘蕙？莘芯？莘怡？莘婷？莘芹？hahaha.. ok..i'm free... n i noe u r oso free in slowly thinking of a nice name for baby...

English name - Sherlyn (a combination of sis and mommy... ivan's idea.. i juz put it out.. :p)
Sherrie, Sherry, Shermaine, Sherice, Sherley...
hahah.. ok.. time for me to sleep... Mommy lyn... enjoy thinking for baby name.. :p

2010-02-04T08:40:00.002+08:00

What happen if u done a thousand of nice/good/ right things? Nothing happen. What happen if u done one bad/wrong thing? EVERYONE BLAMES U! This is life... in a soccer season, u were the top scorer... ppl will remember u the most 2 seasons.... but if u've got an own goal.... ppl will remember u 4eva.... This is juz being a normal human...

Ppl will appreciate u... will be grateful to u.. but the appreciation and gratefulness lasted a short while... sooon they will 4get... this is how everyone behaves, u and i and everyone... cant deny..
BUT if u done sth nt right or hurtful, ppl will remember everything... it will last for a long time... may nt be 4eva.. but definitely last longer when u appreciate what someone have done.

i'm wondering... y shld i be nice when end up wat did i get nth... bosses blame u when things went wrong (n sometimes u are wondering wat u did), bosses blame u for nt doing ur job properly (n u really wonder WHAT IS UR JOB?) bosses are like tt, frens sometimes family oso like tt... i'm tired... and i feel like heck caring everything.. juz do wat i need to do... nth more... no pt go all out...

2010-01-24T02:16:00.002+08:00

This time round... i felt the drag.... i no longer have the excitment to go over to BKK! NOT coz i've been there too many times... juz coz of a lot of things tt added up... i dunno y it become like tt... is it ALL MY FAULT!? ya.. i'm all to blame! this one blame me for dragging time... delay in booking of everything... tt one blame me for being too sensitive... other blame me for saying sth tt offended other ppl... blame me for being sacarstic... juz put ALL the blame on me ba.. i'm NOT entitled to be angry... i CANT show ppl i'm unhappy or sad or hurt.... i can only SMILE and say... hey, i'm OK... nth serious... sometime, i wonder... does ppl ard me treat me as a human being anot!?!? well.. suan liao.. as usual... i'm smiling... i'm ok....

good thing i still have things to look fwd to.... i get to see my thai frens!!! and i can buy accessories... (ya... i have a lot liao.... but it is never enough)

I DUN wanna organised this trip.. but i dunno y ended up.. i become organiser... i HATE being the organiser(for anything and everything)... coz
1st u cant get ppl to give u the truthful, constructive and timely ans or
2nd things go well and smoothly... no one will remember u r the one organising BUT if things gone wrong... ppl start blaming u
3rd NO ONE WILL APPRECIATE watever u do!!!!

SIANZ!

nw i need to stay positive... and continue smiling!

Oh ya... the environment in office nw is damn dangerous... i no longer noe who is friend and who is foe... who is the one is treating u sincerely and who is the one waiting for a chance to stab u... i'm very very tired of the 明争暗斗... and keep draining my brain to think of counter attacks when i sense tt there is an attack somewhere... I'm losing myself.....

2010-01-15T11:26:00.002+08:00

罗志祥又创造了另一奇迹！！

Yes, SHOW LUO had his new album out already! 罗生门 is the album title. 12 tracks..
www.haoting.com has the album intro

专辑介绍
世界用7天创造舞王用7年打造罗志祥SHOW巅峰造极第7张音乐力作 [罗生门]

打开爱情的罗生门解开真实与谎言的密码
打开音乐的罗生门再创亚洲舞王全新神话
潮男领SHOW自我突破 2010装饰系潮男主场秀

台湾人的创意好莱坞的班底 [爱的主场秀]MV开创亚洲舞王新神话
700万钜资远征纽约歌剧院
罗志祥化身剧场守护者大秀墨镜舞

第一道爱的罗生门 = 冲动

爱的主场秀 爱情刚开始的相遇棋逢敌手斗智斗勇谁才是这场游戏的主导者? 结合BIG BEAT的电子流行摇滚曲风墨镜舞王光芒四射为什么要在一起当感情过了冲动期有时候会让人忘了当初心动的原因…
首度诠释爵士JAZZ灵魂乐曲风,展现成熟绅士魅力,让人惊艳

第二道爱的罗生门 = 伪装

习惯就好 回忆就像一道关不上的门寂寞要花多久时间才能习惯? 阿沁(F.I.R) 继冠军点播曲[我不会唱歌]后,再次量身谱写SLOW ROCK抒情摇滚年度K 歌

第三道爱的罗生门 = 挥霍

爱疯头 当爱上一个人,为爱疯了头,赴汤蹈火,海派献出所有也不算什么! 首次尝试轻快的英伦摇滚节奏. 浪漫偶像剧[海派甜心]片头曲.

搞定为了爱的证明搞定所有要求五体投地的挥霍只为对方开心带有80年代DISCO和HOUSE 节奏的轻松舞曲.

生理时钟 热恋时挥霍相爱的每一分钟 ,二个人像生理时钟24小时同步着融合POP R&B 节奏的甜蜜小品

第四道爱的罗生门 = 等待

爱不单行 爱不是单数,相信自己能拥有幸福,对的人也在未来等待与你相遇由马毓芬制作,金马奖最佳作词人严云农全新温暖情歌,浪漫偶像剧[海派甜心]插曲

第五道爱的罗生门 = 受伤

罗生门 是否真爱的学分非要摔痛了才能修得成?那千奇百怪艰深的学问就像罗生门 R&B节奏蓝调重拍节奏舞曲畅销作词人陈镇川最新力作

第六道爱的罗生门 = 报复

危险的念头 当一段恋情结束,最危险的念头是心存报复? 还是念念不忘? 情歌圣手姚若龙填词,罗志祥呐喊男人不为人知的心酸,成熟唱腔感人肺腑

第七道爱的罗生门 = 勇敢

老实讲 感情世界里想爱就要及时说当错过对的时间点有些感觉就再也回不去了亚洲知名制作人李伟菘制作,郑淑妃填词.唱出爱情淡淡的哀愁与事过境迁的感慨

The whole album is superb!!!!! and he had gimme another K song!! 习惯就好-VERY VERY VERY VERY nice song.. good k song! hehe...

Bonus tracks WOW (feat. Elva) and IN YOUR EYES (feat. Rainie Yang) are also MUST LISTEN songs... GO listent to the album at www.haoting.com!!!

2010-01-04T08:40:00.002+08:00

Yes, it is a brand new year! as Ivan said, i shld have a positive entry. hahaaha....
Well, hopefully this is it...

To kick start with the year, we went back to Malacca with Shwu Yann. Cheryl, Paul, me and Lihua had a different kind of experience in Malacca staying with Yan.
our very 1st experience is that the bus broke down when we juz entered the expressway.... this is the 1st time yan yan met this too.. hahaha... and the 1st time ever, we took 7.5 hrs to reach Malacca from SG.. cool rite??

Then we went on a makan spree... of coz not 4getting the Chendol and Assam Laska. Though i'm not really a fan of laska... taste wise is not tt bad...

We stayed over at Yan Yan's hse, which is so different frm wat we r staying in SG... but the place is HUGE and cosy.. hehe.. and is cooling at night and COLD in the morning even without fan/air con....

on the whole, it was enjoyable. muz yan yan muz be so tired lor.. coz have to run ard with us.. and drive... i dun think she got enough rest... THANKS GIRL!

next trip up.. my 2D1N batam getaway... to celebrate Jason bdae... and to go on spa and massage trip.. though the grp is getting smaller... we'll still enjoy it? yep.. i'm going on the 9th - 10th Jan... I'm actually quite broke sia... hmmm.. muz save up for my BKK trip liao...

Ok.. 1st day of work in 2010... i shld learn to see things at a +ve side.. and oso to be calm and witty whenever kana shoot. Wat is all these rite? TYL is a survivor!

2009-12-19T03:08:00.002+08:00

My life sucks big time! everything seems to go wrong.. work life, personal life, love life.. SUCKS

1. being scolded coz i say i dunno to PLC or contactor or watsoever... this is not my field, hw shld i noe?!? i'm NOT all rounder! i'm juz a normal human being with my strenght and weakness!!!!!

2. beind shoot for nth... was given instrcutions by boss that i shld communicate Technically with the customer directly.. nw he scolded me coz i replied the email... n better still he always blame ME n nt his staff nor the customers! it's only me who is in the wrong.... i cannot tahan... i ran into one of my worker's arms and cried out loud... y m i being scolded for sth i FOLLOWED instructions? n i searched for the BLACK and WHITE the whole day, juz to EXPLAIN myself.

Then, the very impt person in my life is so angry with me tt she dun wish to tok to me. n i dun even noe wat to do... coz anything will trigger the anger.. n it will make things worse...
anyway, it is me lah.... i'm juz plain to toopid... being a directionless creature.. no pt explaining as it is a fact.. n everyday at work... explaining is damn tiring... after work.. i still have to explain...
make matter worse... even my own bro oso need me to EXPLAIN MYSELF for 2 whole hrs!
y?? m i such a failure that the whole world need me to explain myself then they noe wat is happening or why i do this/that?

Mommy said tt ever since i went back work.. i've changed... i become more aggressive... and noe hw to protect myself le (which she feels is good).. i have been miss goody for so long (my mom always say i dunno hw to protect myself)... after being shoot so frequently... i become a porcupine.. i will retaliate if i feel threaten.. mommy say she understand coz my work environment, tt's y i become like tt... but she felt tt i have become from this extreme (extreme nice and temperless) to the other extreme (like a porcupine)... she asked me.. 'R U HAPPY?'
i didnt ans... but i wanted to say, I M NOT! i hate myself nw! i'm no longer the nice TYL tt is easy to get along with... i'm no longer the friendly TYL who is well like and well love by everyone.... i'm juz someone who everyone hates! i have more n more time being alone.. n i hate it! Mommy say i shld learn hw to strike a balance.. can protect myself.. n at the same time be friendly...

with all these happenings.. i realised tt i miss him like crazy.. hw i wish he is here... holding me tight.. telling me everything is juz a nightmare... hw i wish i can really cry my heart out in his arms... with him acting cute n silly juz to make me laugh... but no... this will never happen again... n i shld say luckily he is not here.. coz if he is here.. but have no time for me.. i think i will be sadder... well.. blessing in disguise...

haiz... 无奈，无助，无能为力.. my life is juz so F*** UP!

2009-12-14T01:28:00.002+08:00

I had this weird dream:

I dream tt i drove a BENZ (ok... dun ask me hw come.. i oso wondering it myself), to a chalet @ dunno where. This place got chalet and condo de... this is supposingly a chalet with Jason, JX, Harris and gang... but i saw my pdtn workers toking to me.. telling me hw to go to the chalet.
(As i say.. this is a weird dream)

Then i parked my car at somewhere very far away from the stated chalet... and walked towards it.. then when i reach the place.. (it was up on a hill), i went to explore and see is there any possibility tt i can park my car near the chalet... as i walked out of the chalet.. there is this guy behind...

he is my BF in my dream.. he walked towards me and hugged me and asked me where i was going? and we held our hands walking ard to find the place for my car to park. Then i found out tt i can reach the chalet if i drove up a multi-storey carpark... i have no confidence in driving up.. so i asked 'HIM' if he wld acc me... and if i happened not to be able to drive.. he shld take over..

Then next sence... we were in the car... he was holding me the way i like guys hold me in REAL LIFE... then everything was blur blur.. i woke up...

I DIDNT GET TO SEE WHO IS THIS SUPPOSINGLY BF!! only noe he is quite tall and big.. (NOT FAT... is juz not those skinny type)...not wearing specs.... then dunno liao...

funny dream rite?? i was wondering m i so in need of a guy till like tt?!?!? wahahahhaa.... anyway, i shall go n sleep and see if i can get a clearer pic of this Boyfriend... :p

2009-12-03T08:28:00.002+08:00

"hi, hope everything is fine for u. Dun reply me, coz i still not intend to have anything to do with u yet. I juz feel that it's unfair to u that i suddenly MIA since u did nth wrong. Sorry, but i really cant be the good fren u hoped for. so no contact is the best for both of us n the best thing i can give you the last time. Without me, mayb u'll be happier. Take Care."

Yes, it still hurts... but it shld be done. I'm choosing the 'should do, must do, have to do' path instead of the 'want to do' path... this is the 无奈 in life. Just let nature takes its course.. time heals....

BTW, a happy note....
ONLINE RADIO IS BACK!!!

2009-11-28T20:12:00.005+08:00

Tiny changes to my blog... ok.. yx will say she allergy to pink... but this time round i did not purposely put pink de.. wahahaha... juz to suit my header de.. hehe

I've changed the song... u will find it familiar.. it is the same tune as the song 寂寞光年 - 刘力杨 the ending song for the channel 8 show 双子星...

Jade Liu changed the lyrics, and nw is a new song call 礼物. It is in her new album 转寄刘力扬

刘力扬 - 礼物
词：刘力扬曲：80 time

终于可以在今天划上句点
一整夜翻阅过去画面
想不起我们为何会诀别
只看到那双你送的鞋

走一步又一步
我才发现绕了个圈
走了好几年
又回到原点

你送的礼物会不会太特别
毫不避讳那不安的传言
但渐行渐远习惯到没感觉
难道你早想要我走远

你送的礼物在此刻好体贴
陪我回忆把过往走一遍
穿了这些年难免会有污点
就像每段爱总会有终点

世上最残酷的恐怕是时间
困住人一切却还向前
干涸的眼再挤不出一点咸
爱到如此可悲的境界

走一步又一步
却跟不上你的脚步
你满意了
为什么我却只想要哭

你送的礼物会不会太特别
毫不避讳那不安的传言
但渐行渐远习惯到没感觉
难道你早想要我走远

你送的礼物在此刻好体贴
陪我回忆把过往走一遍
穿了这些年难免会有污点
就像每段爱总会有终点

你说做自己吧
我们都做回自己
不要再为爱受委屈

你送的礼物原来是一场劫
夙命一样准确
可笑到想要你赔给我时间
爱情有时廉价得可怜

光著脚我一路奔跑
鲜血泪水一路狂飙
收起我的骄傲
承认曾经备受煎熬

鞋上那记号
只有你能明了
过了这一夜
我就全忘掉

2009-11-24T14:17:00.003+08:00

Damn.. feel like sleepin.... yes.. it is the middle of the day.. n i'm doing a report halfway... and am damn sleepy le..

anyway, juz to inform ppl who r out there worrying tt tyl might go into the way/direction or anything.. STOP worrying... wahahaa.. coz it WILL NEVER happen... y? coz it wun happen lah... coz it is not morally rite lor... :P

They are not my type of coffee nor tea nor dish... yes.. initially, it was quite interesting to noe them.. coz they are like big bros, looking out for u... n better still.. no need to worry abt them.. they will worry abt u.. (GOOD thing abt older guys)... hahaha

But, they are soooo uncle, so no fun... soooo erm... *boring*.... ahahah... not funny... at times really damn bored sia.. hhahaha.. n quite sian lah.. so no worries... :) plus i dun feel the sincerity of being frens.. i dunno leh.. it is a total different feeling from OFM and CP... tt 2.. i can really feel tt they sincerely wanna be frens... but these few... i dun have the feeling.. i always feel there is a motive.. so i dun treat them very well actually... as compared to OFM they all.. hahaha

wahahahahahaa....

2009-11-23T01:23:00.004+08:00

Got this from a fren's blog... it is very meaningful... one or more applies to u.... they are frm famous authors or ppl ard the world....

1。莎士比亚说:
再好的东西都有失去的一天。
再深的记忆也有淡忘的一天。
再爱的人，也有远走的一天。
再美的梦也有苏醒的一天。
该放弃的决不挽留。
该珍惜的决不放手。
分手后不可以做朋友，因为彼此伤害过！
也不可以做敌人，因为彼此深爱过

2。几米说:
当你喜欢我的时候，我不喜欢你,
当你爱上我的时候，我喜欢上你,
当你离开我的时候，我却爱上你,
是你走得太快，还是我跟不上你的脚步,
我们错过了诺亚方舟,错过了泰坦尼克号,错过了一切的惊险与不惊险,
我们还要继续错过.
我不了解我的寂寞来自何方，但我真的感到寂寞。
你也寂寞，世界上每个人都寂寞，只是大家的寂寞都不同吧。

3。刘心武说:
不要指望，麻雀会飞得很高。
高处的天空，那是鹰的领地。
麻雀如果摆正了自己的位置，它照样会过得很幸福！

4。亦舒说:
人们日常所犯最大的错误，是对陌生人太客气，而对亲密的人太苛刻，把这个坏习惯改过来，天下太平。

5。郭敬明说:
我终于发现自己看人的眼光太过简单,我从来没有去想面具下面是一张怎样的面容,
我总是直接把面具当做面孔来对待,却忘记了笑脸面具下往往都是一张流着泪的脸.

6。刘心武说:
对不起是一种真诚，没关系是一种风度。
如果你付出了真诚，却得不到风度，那只能说明对方的无知与粗俗！

7。韩寒说:
再累再苦就当自己是二百五再难再险就当自己是二皮脸

8。安妮宝贝说:
当一个女子在看天空的时候，她并不想寻找什么。她只是寂寞。

9。遇见平凡说:
缘分像一本书。翻的不经意会错过童话; 读得太认真又会流干眼泪.

10。张小娴说:
爱，从来就是一件千回百转的事。
不曾被离弃，不曾受伤害，怎懂得爱人？

11。亦舒说:
无论怎么样，一个人借故堕落总是不值得原谅的；越是没有人爱，越要爱自己。

12。刘心武说:
与其讨好别人，不如武装自己；
与其逃避现实，不如笑对人生
与其听风听雨，不如昂首出击！

13。张爱玲说:
娶了红玫瑰，久而久之，红玫瑰就变成了墙上的一抹蚊子血，
白玫瑰还是“床前明月光”；
娶了白玫瑰，白玫瑰就是衣服上的一粒饭渣子，
红的还是心口上的一颗朱砂痣。

14。三毛说:
一个朋友很好，两个朋友就多了一点，三个朋友就未免太多了。
知音，能有一个已经很好了，不必太多，
如果实在没有，还有自己，好好对待自己，跟自己相处，也是一个朋友…

15。雪小禅说:
我以为终有一天，我会彻底将爱情忘记，将你忘记。
可是，忽然有一天，我听到了一首旧歌，我的眼泪就下来了，
因为这首歌，我们一起听过。

16。郭敖说:
我们始终都在练习微笑，终于变成不敢哭的人。

17。三毛说:
不要害怕拒绝他人，如果自己的理由出于正当。
当一个人开口提出要求的时候，他的心里根本预备好了两种答案。
所以，给他任何一个其中的答案，都是意料中的。

18。梓色心晴说:
男人哭了，是因为他真的爱了~
女人哭了，是因为她真得放弃了。

19。玄漪说:
能够说出的委屈，便不算委屈；
能够抢走的爱人，便不算爱人。

20。张爱玲说:
爱情本来并不复杂，来来去去不过三个字，
不是“我爱你”、“我恨你”，便是“算了吧”、“你好吗”、“对不起”。

21。马云说:
晚上想想千条路,早上醒来走原路。

22。饶雪漫说:
这个世界欺骗了我，我必须给与还击，
我不会放掉任何一丁点儿属于我的幸福，
哪怕付出的代价是从此坠入地狱，我也在所不惜。

23。郭敖说:
每个人一生之中心里总会藏着一个人，
也许这个人永远都不会知道，尽管如此，
这个人始终都无法被谁所替代。
而那个人就像一个永远无法愈合的伤疤，
无论在什么时候，
只要被提起，或者轻轻的一碰，就会隐隐作痛。

24。GARVEN说:
话是人说的，屁也是人放的，
说话和放屁一样，都是一口气而已。

25。三毛说:
某些人的爱情，只是一种“当时的情绪”。
如果对方错将这份情绪当做“长远的爱情”，是本身的幼稚。

26。张小娴说:
如果没法忘记他，就不要忘记好了。
真正的忘记，是不需要努力的。

27。人非草木说:
再丑的人也能结婚，再美的人也会单身！

28。张爱玲说:
因为爱过，所以慈悲；
因为懂得，所以宽容。

Does anyone of the sayings trigger ur memories? or emotions? or agreement?
Well... they did, for me.. :)

2009-11-16T15:12:00.002+08:00

I'm juz soooo excited.... hehe.. helping to think of names for hx baby liao leh... hhehee... baby due in January wo... Hx, u muz remember... for baby sake and ur sake.. u muz keep a happy and relax mindset wo....
Think most prob is girl wo.... n we r deciding on the following names.... let's vote!!! hehehe

1. Iris - Colorful, Rainbow (dervied from Greek, ancient symbol of powder, dedicated to God Juno)
2. Abbie - Joy of the Father (English)
3. Felicis - Latin word for Happy, Lucky, Fortunate
4. Kelis - Beautiful (American)

which is nice???

2009-11-06T00:24:00.002+08:00

Other than the preious few in my life, i have one VERY IMPT person. she is definitely NOT perfect, and she can make u scream and pull ur hair and be angry at her... yet, u cant live without her!!

She is lazy, pure lazy that she would rather sleep than acc u have KTV, or BFAST or LUNCH or SUPPER, BUT when she noes tt u r really craving for it.. she die die oso acc u.. (provided she in good mood lah)

She is crazy,,,, she can be acting silly with u, laughing happily at one moment.. next moment.. she will scold u for being so silly...

She is a critic! she can condemn u till u upside down, she can be so straight fwd tt u would be hurt by her words, she is someone who wish u to be the perfect person in her mind. she wanna u to live her way and live up to her expectations.... YET, deep down, u noe she accepts u as who u r... juz tt at times she wanna remind u to be careful.. dun get hurt... (but sometimes, b4 i get hurt.. she hurt me already.. aiyo... hahaa)

She is such a bimbo!! her actions, her way of toking, her knowledge... will make u wonder.. hw come she can study for degree with almost 1st class honours... she made u cry and laugh at the same time. DUN ever test her chinese! u will vomit blood! go shopping with her.. u will go crazy if u r not trained b4.. yet without her, ur life is a bore...

She makes no sense!! she is random and lame and can come up with actions and theories a NORMAL human being cant think of de.. n her weird stuff may make u laugh till u cry!!! this always make my day.. n i muz say, i'm PROUD to intro her to everyone ard me.. coz she bring laughter to everyone!!! (ok.. she will complain.. she say 'my mommy dun give birth to me as an entertainer de ok')

She very no respect... she dun give u a damn if u r the mighty god or the teacher or the lecture or the wise old man.. if she think tt there is no logic or not realistic... be prepared to shoot by her... she wun give face de... This is her...

She is a damn lousy cooker... and yet loves to offer to cook for ppl...

i'm attention seeker, she is attention attracter... so sometimes i really wanna strangle her of attracting all the attention... BUT, then again... it is ok lah... coz sometimes she attract the WRONG guys.. which i really glad tt i dun.. wahahahahaa...

see.. everyone has flaws... even her.. she is not perfect, she is damn irritating... but i juz cant live without her.. she missed me when i dun come home early reguarly (she uses suaning to bring this msg across to me), she really cares... though she dun show... she is actually sensitive de wo.. (she acted like she is nt... ) she really needs someone to tok with (SHE WILL NEVER ADMIT IT), she is also has a fragile heart.. she needs ppl's support for her to carry on with her damn irritating sch life... she is not as strong as wat everyone sees to be..

she loves u, so she have very high expectation for u... so when u cant do it.. she will condemn u.. but then she still accepts u as who u r...

so this is her.. MY BELOVED SISTER!! TYX.. Tan Yan Xin!! haha... i cant imagine my life without her! n i'm s0 proud to intro her as my sis to everyone... (though she loves overtaking.. wahahaha..)

i'm REALLY REALLY afraid to lose her.. tt was my most terrible nightmare in my younger days...

2009-11-04T10:57:00.002+08:00

I went to buy my watch... hehe Titus watch!! hehe.. yes, using the money my darlings gave me de.. so can say is my late bdae present...
THANK YOU - Ms Wong YT, Mr Darren Peng YH, Mr Hong JM, Ms Hoon HH, Ms Cheryl Wee SH, erm... Ms Tan YX... r u involved?? hahaha... THANK YOU OSO lah.. coz u contributed 1st mah... hehehee MUACKz.. hehee

It is rose gold wo... hahhahaha

2009-10-30T00:15:00.001+08:00

一封寄不出去的信

XXX,

结果，我们还是走到了这一步。想起来，好像一切是注定的。

还记得吗? 我曾和你说我有个不祥的预感∶我即将失去你，因为你离我越来越远。

你叫我别想太多，你不是好好的坐在我身边吗？当时的我觉得好感动、好幸福。因为有你，所以就忽略了在心里最深处的呐喊。

心底很清楚地感受到这一切都是个梦，很快就会消失，但我却宁愿沉浸在你给的甜美时光里，也不愿去面对心底的呼喊∶我即将走入一个深渊，一个会让我痛苦的深渊。我放纵自己，让自己去享受你所给的一切，我以为当你离开时我会很快就淡忘一切，我以为我能潇洒的放下。

我太高估我自己了，还是太低估了我对你的感情？我自己也不知道，只知道我想逃，不想在这里打转。好累。

我已做了决定。三年前是你选择离开、选择逃避。三年后，是我选择离开。

说不会心痛是骗人的。我的心比什么都还要痛。看见你送我的熊，眼泪会不由自主地掉下来。经过曾和你走过的路、看过的事物、做过的事都会让我勾起那些回忆。我一直都在和不一样的人去同样的地方、做同样的事，为了就是要制造新的回忆。但都不能。

说不想你是骗人的。无时无刻你的笑容、温柔、可爱表情、幼稚的举动都会出现在我脑海里。想要有人陪伴、有人给与温柔的拥抱时更加想你。所以，我一工作来麻痹自己。让我自己忙就不会有空闲的时间想你。

虽然还会担心你；怕你有心事不说、怕你累坏身子、怕你吃不好睡不好。但我想我的担心是多余的。你现在也许很幸福。

我很累。真得好累。不明不白的关系托了这么多年，是时候有个了结。我选择放弃、离开。既然你不能给我爱情，我也给不了你友情，我们就走到这里。其实这决定不只害我失去一位我最在乎的人、也害你失去一位好友。真是抱歉。
不过还是要谢谢你曾在我生命中留下美好的回忆。心还是会痛，但长痛不如短痛。再托下去我会更加遍体鳞伤。

也许我会用一段很长的时间把你淡忘、也许我一辈子都忘不了你。以后的事，谁能预料？只能说，也许很久很久以后再见到你，能若无其事的和你打声招呼也不一定。

祝福你，
曾经的好友

2009-10-29T02:26:00.004+08:00

if u realised tt my font size is bigger. yes.. no worries... nt ur screen prob... u didnt see wrongly.. i've changed it!

COZ I GOT A BROTHER ( A BLOOD BROTHER WITH SAME MOTHER AND FATHER AND SISTER), by the name of Mr. BEN TAN YONG WEI, age 25 yet with a mentality, hearing and sighting condition of a 70 year old man complained tt my blog is soooooo complicated and the wordings are so small tt everytime he reads it, he feel like bashing me up! SO TO SATISFY HIM, i increased the font size!!! and when i'm free, i'll make it OLD MAN PROOF!

btw, this is my blog.. i think i can write watever i want rite?

to the selected few: msn me to get the full story. If u r still wondering if u are the selected one? reassure.. u r not..

2009-10-25T03:15:00.004+08:00

Have u ever encounter this kind of scenerio?

Early in the morning 0930, ur hp rang (u normally off ur hp when u r asleep, ONLY on it when u awake, so u WERE REALLY wondering y n how come ur hp will ring! and plus u slept at 0430 juz nw, so u can imagine the ring of hp WAS definitely NOT a WELCOMING sound). U picked up the call.
While you were still blur blur, the other party gave u the shocked of ur life! this happened to me THIS MORNING...

"U r still SLEEPING?!"
"Yah..." Hello!? it is 0930! n it is a SAT morning, of coz i'm still in bed!
"I'm waiting for u at the swimming pool nw, n u r still in bed?!" the caller shouted

WAIT!? since when i promised to wake up early for a morning swim? NO, i didnt promise! i didnt say yes! i was sure! but y is the caller there n INSISTED tt I had agreed!?!?

"Huh? I got say i going meh? no ar.. i didnt promise..."

I was scratching my head.. n trying to wake tt mind up and rake all the events tt had happened the past few days... I WAS SURE i didnt say i going....

"Yes, u did! nw hw!? u r leaving me here? u fly me aeroplane!" Yes, the caller sounded pissed

Inward, I groaned! TRYING damn hard to remember DID I EVER SAY tt i going swimming?!! n My body really do not have the strenght to get up....

"when did i fly aeroplane? i didnt promise u!!" OH DEAR! help me! i wanna sleep somemore!!!
"YES! YES!! I WANT u to come out nw!!!!" if this caller is any other body... i think i wld juz hang up n go back to sleep... but tt is my PRECIOUS FEW!

I dragged myself out of bed.. mentally thinking where did i put my swimming costume.. and hw can i pack my stuff using the fastest way... n wondering did i say YES in my dreams!? n trying to reason out with the caller that i DIDNT agree to go swimming...

Yes, i was thinking of going out liao... of coz, not tt i admit tt i had agreed to go swimming and had forgotten.. is coz tt caller is the PRECIOUS FEW...

Then... wait.. i heard tt behind the shouting, there was a smile... a laughter... THIS CUTE CALLER OF MINE, called me early in the morning at 0930 after her swim, to wake me up and gimme a scare of my life and then smile and say
"It is a nice sat morning! u shldnt be sleeping! u muz wake up!"
"aiyo, i slept at 0430. Please leh.. let me sleep can?"
"who tell u to sleep at 0430?"
"I normally off my hp, hw come it is on today? and u can reach me?!"
"HAHAHAHAA.. it is FATED! WAKE UP!!!"
"my da xiao jie, i really slept at 0430!"
"i dun care, i woke up so early... so u oso have to wake up!!!"

I groaned again.. n she laughed... and say 'i missed u leh, so call u lor'
GOD KNOWS THE TRUTH!!

Oh god! i never on my hp till i wake up! n i think i juz accidentally on it b4 i slept today... this happened! really fated sia...
Supposingly i shld be in a bad mood and gonna curse n swear.. haiz... but i think i owe this person in my past life sia.. i wasnt abit pissed, and even acc to chat till she reached home. n the details? i dun really remember... coz i was still in dazed!!!!

yes, this person woke me up... end up, at 0930 i was online and playing FB!! my sis woke up and asked me.. "did u even sleep?"
HAIZ!!! u noe my reasons!

YES, this is the precious few that u will spend ur time with.. rot ur time away with, and u enjoy the company. This is the precious few tt u noe hw tired u r, or hw bz u r, u will oso make the effort to meet each other (esp when u all haven meet each other for sometime); be it juz a 30min dinner plus a short walk frm cwp to my tuition kid hse, or a long lazy afternoon. this is the precious few who noe ur whole family inside out, and can share ur woes. This is the precious few who can laugh at ur joke of the day/year, suan u like no tml, listen to all ur complains abt work, or simply to bitch ard and cry with u when u r hurting. This is the precious few tt u noe, even if they say they r not gonna meet u, does not love u, tell u to stop zi zuo duo qing or angry with u or say tt his/her dog is more impt, they will always be there when u need them... this is the precious few tt will hit u and scold u and remind u if u happen to go towards the wrong direction... this is the precious few tt will acc u, when the whole world is attached and living in their own world....

so wat if this precious few is attached!? wahahaha.. dunno leh.. we'll see when the time comes.. hehehee

Side line: This cute caller of mine, happily tell me tt she is going to take her LONG awaited afternoon nap at 1400 and thanks to her, i cant sleep as i'm meeting a fren at 1500 so i need to go out at 1400!!

NW IS 0400 AGAIN! and i make sure my hp is OFF this time round.. YEP! it is off! n dun try calling my hse, my room dun have phone anymore.. hehe...

2009-10-22T09:08:00.002+08:00

Thanks to Ivan, i got a webby of dream decoder @ http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdictionarysearch.pl?method=exact&header=dreamsymbol&search=snake!! hahaa

Snake

To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you. Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced. Alternatively, the snake may be seen as phallic and thus symbolize temptation, dangerous and forbidden sexuality. If you are afraid of the snake, then it signifies your fears of sex, intimacy or commitment. The snake may also refer to a person around you who is callous, ruthless, and can't be trusted. As a positive symbol, snakes represent healing, transformation, knowledge and wisdom. It is indicative of self-renewal and positive changes.�
To see the skin of a snake in your dream, represents protection from illnesses.
To dream that you are eating a live snake, indicates that you are looking for intimacy or sexual fulfillment. Your life is lacking sensuality and passion. If you vomit or throw up the snake, then it may mean that you are overcompensating for something that is lacking in your life. You may be rushing into something.

Hmmm.. conclusion: People ard me ARE callous, ruthless and cant be trusted... coz alot snakes ard me...then one big white snake squased to death means tt one of them will be removed frm my life?!

Scary rite?! WHO CAN I TRUST? poor me.. i shall be low profile nw... n only stick to my beloved yt and ivan.. wahahahaha

2009-10-21T01:11:00.006+08:00

suddenly got the 'spend $$' feeling... so went to buy a new card tag for office access card, a new hp pouch and accessory for my hp! As those who noe me shld noe, I'm A VICTIM of cute stuffs... well.. my beloved bro seems to 4got abt it... i bought all these ALL BY MYSELF!

Asmine went China, she cant find anything to buy.. but saw alot of doraemon.. so end up getting these for me... cute lor... wahaha...

I had a werid dream previous night.. i dreamed tt i was in a room with A LOT of snakes haning down frm the ceiling.. once u walked past.. can feel it sliding ard ur shoulders/back.. *shivers*....
then suddenly saw a white snake on the floor.. being 'squashed' to death by a door.. bloody image.. "shivers*... i noe dreamed of snakes is actually quite good... however, my dream so weird... wonder wat it mean... any dream decoder?? hahahahaa

2009-10-12T01:32:00.002+08:00

ok.. this sounds stupid... but i've lost everything in my hp!!! y?? story goes like this:

I realised tt my media player cant read the memory in my memory card and can view photos frm my camera album. I was wondering wat happen for abt 1 week.. then i decided to use media manger to sync my hp with comp... but still it cant work... so finally i decided maybe is the software out of date... so i downloaded the software... to update my hp...

but i 4got one most impt thing... coz i cant sync my hp with comp... i 4got abt the stuff in my phone memory... so end up i didnt back up!!! n GONE, the whole list of phone numbers which took me 3 days to organise.. so frens/suppliers whom i met/saved ur number after i bought my this new C905, which is after Apr 2009, ur numbers are gone... so if u all are kind enough sms me using ur number...

then ALL the sms i DID NOT delete for memory purposes are gone! all memory GONE! i told yp... she say she gonna celebrate. y? coz she told me it's time to start afresh... 4got abt watever had happen... all memory gone is good.. at least i wun go back thinking wat had happen.. n hw sweet things were last time..

yes.. myhp is nw as good as new... with new software... limited phone numbers, and zero sms... mayb it is an indication...start afresh... can i do it?! y do i still feel the pain? i tot i'm numb.... haiz...

anyway, XH!! i'm really counting down liao.... mayb cant go overseas.. coz seems like no one got time to go... but we def WILL do sth!!! hahahaa

2009-10-04T12:14:00.002+08:00

"The Biggest Loser" is now on... n the 2 contestants are juz to slackers who cant resist food. Bring chocolate cakes, mooncakes to any of them... see if theey will tell u they are on diet... wait... they will say they r on diet... BUT will still eat...

bring them to any Zhi Char... order crabs and stuff they like... you will see them eating happily... hahhaa... both of them have the voting system... and seems like yx is leading on the score board... y izzit so? coz her frens r loyal to her... BLINDLY... hahaha.... i have a few feedbacks frm her frens.. :
1. she sure will not lose so much weigh.. but as a fren we still vote for her
2. aiyah.. vote for her, let her happy
3. aiyo..i press wrongly lah

erm... so u noe hw she got all the votes?
anyway, i'm starting the betting system.. who is interested?
the rates for both of them are as below:
1. Yt - 1:5 (i decided not to be evil to put 1:10... hahaa)
2. Yx - 1:2 (this is base on the votes online)

Well... being the closest person to them... i cant take sides nor vote... so... i take bets!! hahhahaa

oh ya... another insider news.. one of yt's vote is yx's beloved bro vote de... Y IS THIS SO?! coz yx bro always side his sis.. so when he saw the title 'Who is the biggest loser?' he straight away click on yt... coz his beloved sister CAN NEVER be a loser!! hahahaha...

Enough of the updates... pls choose wisely.. n place ur bets...
Contact me for the bets... and will give the latest update on the voting results.
Voting will end in 88 days.

2009-09-26T16:23:00.003+08:00

Damn irritated! Y I dun seems to have sth nice and happy happening recently!?!?

I got a news frm tt boss who is not my direct boss... he told me, my baby is not not selling. N need to change. so held a meeting to discuss wat shld be changed! he said ppl didnt noe tt we r selling white coffee. I DIDNT SELL IT AS WHITE COFFEE IN THE FIRST PLACE!

then half hr earlier, he commented tt for us R&D ppl, shld think out of the box. dun wanna a 'me too' product. Dun follow the crowd. Half hr later, he told me tt my baby is so different with the white coffee in the market. THE TASTE PROFILE WAS DIFFERENT WAT!!! hw to sell it as white coffee!?!?!?

From the start, they wanted a product that is no longer the 'uncle and auntie' style. i did it... nw they told me it is not selling, coz no one noe it is white coffee and uncles aunties dunno wat is Double Shot! Come on! at 1st he blamed us for not focusing on the targeted grp of the pdt. but who is the one NOT focusing!!? i wanna target young and executive RIGHT FROM THE START!!!!!!! nw coz a few commenting that we r not selling white coffee, they wanna change the pdt to white coffee and sell!!! wat sales not good...

Did they noe tt they actually nearly kill it when it 1st launch!? they happily change the raw mat. when it juz lauched and when i wasnt ard, the tatse went off!!! when i came back, i insisted in using back the original raw mat... then it is slowly moving up, they tell me sales not good.. so need a plastic surgery!!!

Say wat, R&D have a say... i say liao.. end up!? still do wat u all think is right! anyone consider hw i feel!? tt is my baby!!! a baby i spent a year formulating FROM scratch... n they AGREED ON THE DESIGN!! ok.. i agree that the pdt name shld not be at the bottom.. BUT IT IS A NEW STYLE WAT!?!?

They wanna change, let them change! i nt gonna care! next time they tell me to position my pdt, i shall tell them, they will change anyway... so they decide!

Anyway, ppl tell me... my DOUBLE SHOT... comment on the design... I WANNA THE TRUTH! no need care if i'm hurting anymore... coz i numb le!

2009-09-20T21:49:00.002+08:00

wah... life is crazy recently. with the shifting of factory almost can drain me... i have been working OTs plus my weekends burned juz to go back to new office, then this long weekend, i have been waking up at 8sth to go office till i 错乱.. even asked my mom wat day is today when she woke me up... haiz.... wat to do?? i chose to come back coz of the shifting... so have to accept it lor...

due to the stress and the anger and the tireness... i have no appitite!!! i cant finish my lunches and didnt have my dinners! (stop asking if i slimmed down... i didnt.. hahaha... 20 over yrs de hard work is nt fake one.. 不是说减掉就减掉的！！) hahaha..

yes, my boss went crazy... n anyhw shout at me, blaming me this blaming me tt... scolding me this, scolding me tt... it was a mental torture for the whole week!! no one will understand hw i REALLY feel till u REALLY in the situtation urself... and of coz... those who r working with him will understand too... n guess wat... i got 'nice' colleagues who LOVE to allow me to tok to my boss coz she is afraid of getting scolded.... damn it rite?! toopid lor... n her fault become my fault!!!!! i scolded her for a few times liao... but it is NOT enough to compensate the mental torture i got for the week!!!!

finally i cannot tahan on fri, esp when he shouted at me across the office! i shouted back... but as usual... tyl cannot get angry without crying... so i cried... n ran off to my office...

then i was quite glad coz i got REALLY lovely colleagues at the same time... yan yan came down n acc me... and tok to me... then my china guys actually tried to console me... esp mr xue.. he was juz like a big bro... then mr kelvis wasnt there when the incident happened... but when he heard.. he came down to my office to find me too... yan yan was telling me jokingly... wah... though no cp and ofm console u.... still have her... haha... actually... got kelvis and yan yan in the office is the only consolation... I LOVE THEM!! hehee...

then another china guy, mr min... he tok to me over the net.. coz he was at the old site.. didnt noe wat happen... juz heard frm others... but he too... like a big bro... coaxing me.. hahaha.. suddenly i got big bros wo!! hahaha

yes.. my boss after tt tried toking to me... (when he feels happy lah...) i juz answered him necessarily... other than tt.. i juz went off... i told darren... i think i've shield everyone frm all the scolding frm him for the week le lor...

2009-09-06T04:06:00.000+08:00

SG is a small small place...

guess who i met juz nw when i went out for steamboat dinner at bugis with yan, jimmy, irene and kelvin?!
yes, it is tt DESMOND who had disappeared completely in my life...
i saw him when he was queuing up to go up the escalator. i saw him then, but decided nt to call him.
However, 人算不如天算, i was being pushed (bugis at tt time was very crowded)... end up i went up on the escalator at the same time...

i was still considering to call him anot... but then end up.. being polite.. i tapped him.. he turned n look at me.. he stunned...

Desmond: eh..
TYL: ....
Desmond: heheh.. how come u r here?
TYL: y cant i be here?
Desmond: (laugh... those very PS laugh... like when i caught him red handed tt kind of laugh)
TYL: (took out hp and call)
Desmond: laugh...
TYL: y r u laughing?
Desmond: nth (passing uneasy signals)
TYL: ... (tok on phone... asking where yan was)
Desmond: ....
TYL: i go le.. see ya.. bye
Desmond: bye...

2-3 mins the most..damn weird.. for those who were curious.. he was alone...
y do we have to become like tt?!?! i dunno.. i only noe... i dunno hw to treat it as nth happen anymore...
n i think.. i'm starting to hate him... (or nt?)... SIANZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-08-31T00:00:00.002+08:00

00:00 31st Aug 2009, Msia National day..
at this pt of time, there were fireworks opp my blk.. yes... a whole stretch of fire works... but either due to the economic downturn or due to the fasting mth for Muslims... it wasnt as 'crowded' as past years... 'crowded' means the a lot of fireworks...

anyway, life have been quite bz with my daily routine... Work, then tuition then sleep then work again, then tuition then sleep then work again.... goes on and on and on till fri... the only difference is tt i have taking cabs home after tuition... hahaa.. sianz.. my $$ have gone to cabby's rental fees... anyway, y did i take cabs nw?

1. I'm damn tired... lazy a) to walk to interchange and b) to take bus to interchange then change to my bus again

2. last time, on my way back... i can chat on phone or gossip/bitch till i reached home... but nw... my phone kakis either sleep early, or too bz with sch work or out for fun... so dun wanna disturb them... the only phone kaki tt can chat with me till wee hrs, had disappear completely frm my life...

3. shorten the time of being alone, can shorten the time for my mind to run wild.. then i can throw myself at my lappy then play till i dozed off... meaning i can spare my mind frm thinking of those 有的没的...

on thurs and fri, i went to attend a ISO 22000 internal auditor course... n got noe to a few different ppl... i was being arranged to be sitted in between 2 BIG guys... i mean big hor.. like lcm like tt (minus tt big round tummy.. oops... sorry... i mean.. aiyah.. u all imagine lah... ) they are chefs.. but nw come out n open a factory on their own.. supplying fresh veges/salad to food chains like subway.. n when they told me tt.. i stared.. they dun look like vege guys.. they looked like buchter.. ahaha.. ok.. cannot be so bad.. they are nice friendly giants... hehe.. to my surprise.. they were actually looking at buying our this sold factory.. but they told me the price was too high.. so end up didnt buy... then their consultant is same as mine.. small world rite? hahahaa

then noe another guy, a young boy frm msia (i only noe tt he is younger than me after 2nd day), he is a manger in subway chain... he is someone full of ideas and ambition... guess wat.. he paid for himself to go for this course (his coy nt sponsoring him... the course fees cost over $700 even after rebate frm govt for coy who send employees for courses)... he told me.. he shld upgrade himself... learn more things... so even gotta pay for himself.. he oso dun mind... he oso cant find job after grad (yep, he juz grad frm local uni), then working temp as manager in one of the subway chain.. aiming to go into his field of study, or HQ of subway to become auditior... amazing sia.... he is 3 yrs younger than me lor..

then a girl frm Mymmar who is comfortable speaking in Mandarin and her own language.. but understands english... she studied law in Mymmar but work as admin and qc in SG SME... yet she dun mind.. she say lawyer is a very stressful job...

then an uncle, who is expert in almost all the certifications... he is my idol sia... he like soooo familiar with audits... can tackle auditors easliy and noe a lot of procedures at the back of his hand... (we have role play and workshops)..

Now i slowly like to go for courses alone le... coz i get to know sooo many different kinds of ppl... and different ways of thinking... interesting lor...

ok... upcoming week will be a SUPER DUPER BZ week for me.. coz y? XIN JIE's wedding and my coy 7th mth praying session is on the same day.. FRI!!! so need to help in preparations at office (for 7th mth) and at home (for xin jie wedding)... *excited* hehheheee oh ya.. n oso need to pack my stuff liao.. gonna shift!!!!

2009-08-17T00:22:00.004+08:00

刚看完一本小说，小说的某一篇就这么说道：

"如果能说忘就能忘；能放就放，那么，你其实还没真正爱过。真爱过一个人，不是说放就放得了、说忘就忘得掉。
记忆只能逐渐淡忘，不能完全抹灭"

我在想我一直叫我周围的朋友不能 ‘刻意忘记’，因为这样会更难忘记。真的是，说得容易、做得难。我发现，我自己其实也陷入了那 ‘刻意忘记’ 的阶段。

因为当你经过你们曾走过的路、做着你们曾做过的事、听着你们曾拥有过的歌；都会让你不经意的回想起当时快乐的时光、曾说过的话。然后眼泪就会不知觉的填满眼眶。纵使你身边有很多很多的人在帮你制造很多很多别的记忆，都无法替代那一段回忆。
就是因为如此，不想再让自己那么狼狈、不想再让自己看起来那么窝囊、更不想让自己这么痛苦，所以选择 ‘刻意忘记’。

三、四年前，曾经有过这段痛苦阶段；如今又回到这里。可笑的是，竟然是为了同个人！明知道会有这样的结果，还是放纵自己。能怪谁？怪只能怪自己不够意志力。他变得更温柔、更体贴、更细心，那又怎样？！只要意志力强，这些都不会让我动摇的。不过，我没有，所以动摇了，然后再次掉入深渊，结果又到了现在这里。

我很想、很想只当他一辈子的好朋友。在他需要人的时候陪伴他、在他无助的时候支持他、听他诉苦、陪他笑、看他认真做着一件事还是听他说着那些无厘头的歪道理。不过我做不到；我根本就没有自己想象中的那么伟大。我们之间已没有‘纯友谊’了。

"所谓‘纯友谊’，是当男女双方都没有人在潜意识之下跃过名为‘友谊’的界线；若有人不小心越界，那‘纯友谊’ 就不可能存在了。"（这也是从我刚读的小说里的一句话）

上一次，是他选择逃避，所以消失。这一次，是我选择放弃还是他选择离开？我也不知道，但也是不重要了。因为事实就是：他再也不会回来了。我们再也回不到过去了。

也许，这一次我需要一段很长很长的时间。不过，不管是一个月、一年、十年还是一辈子，我相信这段记忆会慢慢被我淡忘掉的。我只想请周围的朋友不要一直逼我一定要马上忘记、也不要一直说他到底值不值得。因为这样不帮会帮我淡忘他，反而会让我更想他。

可能，我会突然间静静的望着前方，不发一声；这是因为我在哀悼我一段栽下种子却发不了芽的爱情和一段我亲手杀死的友情。。。。。。。。

2009-08-01T00:45:00.002+08:00

Random stuff of my life....

Was too sianz to work... so took a photo of my desk....

My tortoise family, an elephant with shoes frm Holland, and a kangaroo frm DPex... of coz... nt to 4get my doraemon pencil holder and my new addition, doraemon's correction tape... with my comp desktop wallpaper - Saiyuki (anime)... hahahaha

Above the desk, where my deskjet is... stood a Dpex bear and a little bear in cage (Courtsey frm Kelvis, he say tt bear 浸猪笼

Went to see Cheryl @ TTSH, then had dinner @ Curry Flavor in Novena Sq. It was abt 2045, and the last order for the ala carte buffet was 2130.. guess wat, Yan Ting, Yan Ling and Shwu Yann actually ordered the ala carte buffet.. and we ordered like we 10days never eat... SY was soooo shocked tt we can eat so much.. she say she will have nightmare lor... Her shi liang is damn small lor.. hahaa.. so end up is me n yt.. hahhahaa...

A table full of food!!

A happy YT with all the food... in the end we didnt finish.. NOT tt we cant finish wo.. is tt they wanna close liao.. so we have to go..hahahahaa

As our yt is on her new proj.. she got a new pattern on her hand....

Can notice the different color tones?? this is the result of her new proj.. hahahaha

Then today, Ivan had craving for Mac, we meet up with Xinjie then go King Albert Park for Mac.. dun ask y we go so far.. CWP oso got... this is us lor... ahahhaa.. Upon hearing the gd news frm lyn.. we went down to her hse after dinner.... and of coz.. did not miss the chance of playing with little sherlina....

Upon seeing this, it just make ur day! hahahaa...

Personally, i like this... soooo like Baby of the Month, tt type of pic...

The star... hehe

Lyn, mommy say since this time round is so different frm your 1st(as in the vomitting part)... this might be a boy wo... hahahhaa... :p let us noe when the time come... see we guess correctly mah... :p

2009-07-24T14:54:00.002+08:00

This is a nice song from Z-chan new album... He had rest for abt 3 yrs b4 coming up with this new album. I like this song 暗恋 which happen to be the same name as his new album... lyrics are meaningful... nice nice...

《暗恋》张智成

四目交接的时候不要停留太久
适可而止的问候关心不能太过
好奇也别去探索妒嫉只能深锁
如果忍不住寂寞也不能对你说

啊好朋友啊我的好朋友
不小心的沉默不想让你太难过
我们就站在落地窗的两边
就算触碰也有了界限
如果跨越过彼此那道边界
是靠近还是更遥远

相信我们走到另一个境界
搭肩高唱友谊万万岁
要是我爱你变成了语言
甚麽会多一些甚麽会少一些

就让别人去猜测我们清白的很
就让自己去承受那种清白的闷
就算我只是朋友能不能有要求
如果会发生甚麽也是我想太多

啊好朋友就只是好朋友
不小心说出口微笑中藏著难过
我们就站在落地窗的两边
就算触碰也有了界限
如果跨越过彼此那道边界
是靠近还是更遥远
你会不会也曾闪过这感觉
一念之间就要差一点
要是我爱你变成了利剑
甚麽会被消灭甚麽才会复原

那是我的底线继续将你暗恋

2009-07-21T00:22:00.002+08:00

Mystery solved! hahaha.. found out le....
it is daniel!! really is daniel....hahahahaa....
He bought this b4 he went Aust, then we had no time to meet up... so i guess he left it in SG and ask someone to send it to me when my bdae is nearing... hahahaa

hw did i find out? coz i saw his nick abt nearly lost his life on the road in Aust, i went to ask him wat happen... he saw my DP...then he said 'oh.. so u've recieved the bookmark'....hahaha... everything solved... he say it meant to be a bdae surprise for me.. but came abit late.. but still.. i was suprise.. wahahaha.. THANKS DANIEL!! u r SSOOOOO SWEET!! hehehe

2009-07-20T00:16:00.002+08:00

Went with my 5g1u + yt - lyn to Keppel country club/ keppel club for DIM SUM!!! hehee... My grp noe me best!!! hehehe

yum yum... hehehee.. thanks guys! hehhee

Then after tt went cine watch The Haunting in Connecticut with Ivan... Finally, someone is willing to watch horror shows with me!!! 旧爱还是最美！！ I dunno y nobody wanna watch with me lor.. I SWEAR i didnt scream!! hahahaa...
ok.. like the story... got meaning de... apart frm the scary part.. hehe

After toking to my jiu ai.. made me realised... y shld i be sad?! i mean.. i can laugh n tok abt the memories we had.... haha.. jiu ai say, both of us dunno wat we want... so is dragging.. then he oso say.. since i cant see future with him... then let go... coz no pt holding on.. (ok..i think ppl tell me this for more than a thousand times... ok.. it is me.. hahahaa)
jiu ai didnt force, didnt comment, didnt reprimand me.. juz listen n advice... (ok... mayb coz he is oso somehow similar to him?? when come to handling these types of stuff?? )... well... he always has his own way in seeing things... hahaa.. no matter wat.. THANKS JIU AI!!! i love u the most lah.. hahahaa

ok.. nw it time for u ppl to help me solve the mystery...
i recieved a present from the mailbox... n this person did not write down his/her name (dunnO is blur or purposely de)... my mom threw away the envelope liao.. so cant show u all the handwritting.. left only the present...

I've tried to narrow down the search... who noe i love tortoise and is being called TYL

Those who noe my full address
Yan Ting (but i dun think she will be tt 'free' to do this type of things)
Cheryl (handwritting looks like hers.. but she say she didnt send)
Yipei (she is damn bz with sch work.. so i dun think she got the time.. plus handwritting nt hers)
Wenying (she is tooo stress with her sch too... no time to even chat on phone.. moreover, she is nt clever enough to get ppl to write the address de...nt possible)
Simin (erm.. she doesnt look like someone who will send mysterious gift.. haha)
(still got who.. i dunno le leh)

Those who i think will do this type of surpries..
Ivan (but he swear tt it is nt him this time)
i really cant think of anyone else...

aiyo.. this mail is SG de... so cant be xiaohua.. or daniel... (wait.. daniel told me he wanna gimme sth.. but got no time to meet me... but then he left for Aust on the 4th liao leh... )
i dun think is any of the guys.. so ppl... help me think1?!? hehee

2009-07-17T10:57:00.002+08:00

My bdae is over, but celebration cont'd!!

Meeting my 5G1U plus YT on the 19th Jul
then China guys (only left 2. haiz) on the 18th...
then the poly frens (nw they are slogging.. hahaa.. studying for exams) + little boys gang on the 25th...

Oh well, so it wasnt tt bad after all... i mean.. i noe all my frens love me... though they always 'act' heck care me.. wat more can i ask for, rite? so wat if there r some idiot dun even put me in the any part in their heart? i'm still well loved!! hahahaa.. (ok... 我在自我安慰, but still...THANKS TO ALL MY DARLINGS!!! :P)

Went to the zoo with Aeddan and Darren and Cheryl on wed... hehee.. Thanks ivan for his help to get the card for us.. if nt, the entrance fee is damn ex lor... whahaha... *muackz*... look out on FB for the pics.. darren will put it up (soon, i hope?) wahahaa...

2009-07-06T12:22:00.002+08:00

sianz... tt day got a fren asked me 'so hw long u gonna celebrate this yr?' i stunned... n think n tell him 'seems dun have leh'...

Till nw, i'm booked by my coy+frens on the 10th (cheryl's farewell), and my jiu ai is trying his very best to organise one meeting for the 5g1u+yt grp... (thanks jiu ai... coz i think u r bz with ur classes still wanna think of this... )
i dun even need to cancel my tuitions... i juz continue... seems so bz yet it is not bz with my bdae... my poly gangz all bz with sch... so no time, then others are bz with work... i'm oso bz with hhx wedding...
even wanna have a meal with my family oso need to postpone...
y m i complaining?! it is not as if everyone is bz purposely... but juz.. i oso dunnO... wanna whine...

with tt old woman gimme tt face!!! i'm juz wondering.... i didnt go pray a long time liao izzit?! offend ppl till i dunno... btw, i'm easily agitated recently.. *pms*?? i oso dunnO... but if u happen to hear one of my irritated voice... and wat... please dun take it at heart...

2009-07-01T09:25:00.003+08:00

it is the 1st of jul!!!! had my experience in shanghai, hangzhou. things are ex, ppl nt very friendly, air is polluted, fashion - erm... nt very nice (i wonder y, they shld have nice nice clothes). n most imptly, it is sooooo warm!!! wat the diff with SG??? haiz...

then stayed in 5 stars hotel in Hangzhou, DAMN COOL LAH!!! nice nice, so comfy.. i can really stay in hotel whole day lor... then in back to Shanghai, stayed in a 5 star service apartment, heard tt it is opened by a s'porean. it is highly sercure lor... u need to have a key card to go onto the lift. n it only allows u to go to the level u living in. there are a lot of foreginers who r working in Shanghai living in this place... this serivce apartment got a mini kitchen too...

i'm soooo sick n tired of chinese food lor... the KFC (chicken is NICE!! but other than tt.. all CMI), n i craving for all my western and jap and thai food... but then again.. go china eat jap??? go china eat thai!?? hahaha...

too lazy to post photos up.. wait till i free k?? i dunno wat m i bz with.. but i seems to be very bz lor... wahahhaa...

PPL, i'm almost fully booked le leh... book me in advance hor if u all wanna meet me... wahahhaa.. i shall list out the schedule for ur ref. ahhahaha (follow my jiu ai style)

1/7 - tuition till 2200
2/7 - tuition till 2200
3/7 - tuition till 2100
4/7 - BBQ with expo promoters
5/7 - preparing for Huixian's wedding (Evening is free)
6 to 9/7 - tuition till 2200/2100
(if wanna book me muz tell me in advance, so i can make arrangements with my students)
10/7 - booked by my cheryl darling
11/7 - booked by my family
12/7 - HHX Wedding

:)

2009-06-20T03:43:00.002+08:00

b4 i flew, we agreed to meet.
he was late as usual. This time round, he was late with a reason - he was looking for tt Me-to-you bear for me! (he told me he had a hard time choosing... nw i oso wonder.. if he wrapped it up himself oso mah.. coz it was sealed with carton tape instead of normal scotchtape)

when he gave it to me, i was stunned. though it was written on the bear 'special fren', i'm still touched... he told me those 'speical love', 'love 4eva' sounded so mushy and so unlike him... so he dun want. n he say i got enough of pink stuff... so he got me a green sweater de... he say, 见熊如见人... hahaa.. coz i'm not coming back frm Shanghai...

he is irritating, annoying, toopid, idioticm and act as if he dun care at times... but i really think he is cute in his own ways.. and silly... sometimes... i really dunno wat to do with him...

2009-06-14T20:59:00.002+08:00

I'm leaving on the 21st 0830 flight. Dun miss me wo... hahaa..

We seems to be very bz recently... i have been not meeting some of my rotters recently. izzzit coz we had been meeting almost everyday, so when nw when we didnt get to see each other for a few days, i felt tt it is ages since we last met? hahaa.. ok.. to all my rotters... I noe tt we r all bz with a lot of stuff... but... TYL is leaving on the 21st leh.. n i'm afraid tt i gonna miss u all until wanna die ar.. wahahaa...

so dinners? rotting time this week? hehe...

2009-06-05T23:46:00.002+08:00

It is confirmed! i'm leaving for Shanghai on 21st June!

Life have been crazy.... expo juz finished.. n we were so crazy... i love expo.. though it was tiring.... saw an email.... talking abt the difference between like n love.... like n love is juz a thin line difference... so alot of ppl will think tt it love... but it is like... think it is like... but actually tt is love.... after reading it... i wonder....

你能分清楚爱和喜欢吗？

喜歡和愛咫尺千里。
當你喜歡一個人時，你想和他在一起，因為他會帶給你快樂；
離開後，你會想念，想著想著就會笑，然後繼續你平靜的生活，並期待著與他再一次重逢。
當你愛一個人時，你想和他在一起，那是一種牽腸掛肚的捨不得，怕他受委屈，怕他不能好好照顧自己；
離開後，你也會想念，想著想著歎一口氣，'不知他現在過的怎樣？'
然後你繼續你平靜的生活，希望他早日回到你身邊。

你喜歡的人在你眼中是天使，無所不能，他總會滿足你的任性的要求。

你愛的人在你眼中是孩子，傻傻的，你不期望他做出什麼'好事'來，只一味縱容他那些讓人哭笑不得的舉動。

你會希望你喜歡的人陪著你，然而你心中想的可能是你愛的人；

你會希望陪在你愛的人身邊，看他在你面前睡得如此安逸甜美毫不設防的樣子，你會微笑，會覺得好幸福。

你喜歡的人傷害了你，你會生氣，並且一定要讓他哄著騙著逗你笑你才原諒他；

你愛的人傷害了你，你只會獨自傷心，因為你怕對他大吼大叫會嚇著他，你憂傷地微笑著，看著他的眼睛，一旦發現他的眼裡流露出歉意和悔恨，你會立即心疼地摟他在懷裡，那一刻，你也是幸福的。

你可以同時喜歡很多人，你會希望和很多人在一起，
但也許很多年後你才發現，原來你愛的就只有那麼一個，
就那麼一個，怎麼都不會變，你以為把他忘記了，其實只是忙的沒空想起而已，

對於你喜歡的人，你關注的是他的優點；
對於你愛的人，你關注的是他的缺點，並且，那些缺點如果無關原則的話，它們在你眼裡是可愛的，獨一無二的。

喜歡和愛其實只有一紙之隔，任何愛都從喜歡開始，當有天你突然發現，你喜歡的那個人在你眼中不再完美，而他的瑕疵正如月中的桂影一般讓你更加依依不捨，你會覺得與他光彩照人的一面相比，你更願意看他在你面前無助的表情，不知道是不是應該祝賀你，總之，你的感情昇華了

仰慕不是愛，甚至不是喜歡，當你對一個人只有仰慕之情時，你們在一起便失去了和諧。

有人說愛一個人很累，的確是，因為你想為他承擔，可是愛與喜歡相比最大的魅力就在於,
當你和愛的人在一起時，你的感覺就像回家了！

Does this send u to think back?? do u like/love tt person in ur mind? the r/s u r in... izzit a love or like? this email made me think.... so wat is he to me? then i realised...
如果这是我爱你最好的距离，我可以欺骗我自己离开你.............

WY, need ur help....tell u more when i see u online...

2009-05-29T08:09:00.002+08:00

It is early in the morning.. n i'm already in office liao... tired... my dad drove me here today... so i'm damn early today...
well, today is the starting of food fair.. will be damn bz over the weekend... it is from 29th May 2009 - 2nd Jun 2009, @ food expo hall 5! those who r my double shot fans... go there n get it!! hahaha.. it is @ $5 per box with free mug leh!!! support my double shot ba.. hehee...

last night was the last straw! i cant take it anymore! i'm juz so disappointed! haiz... dun come n ask me y n wat is it abt... i'm too sick and tired of it liao... this time roound i chose to give it up... haiz... sianz... sianz...