Today i've juz finsihed a chinese novel - Magic 7. it's abt how ppl forget their dreams coz of reality... after reading it, i was deep in thoughts.

how many of us still remember wat we dreamt to be when we were 5, 10 and 16? how many of us is studying or working out of passion and not 'coz we have to do it' or 'coz every1 needs to study/work'? Have anyone of us stopped wat we r doing and think, is this wat u really like? is this wat u really want?

Since young, we were guided to study hard.. so we can get gd jobs next time.. wat issit mean by 'gd jobs'?? Jobs with high pay even though u have no interest in it? in Spore, children have to undergo a complusory 6 yrs of eductaion. that is Pri 1-6. however, in order to be able to catch up in Pri 1.. it's best to go kindergarten. in order for kids to get use to sch life... it's gd for them to go to nusery b4 going to K1... in order for them to be able to cooperate/ communicate with other little kids... it's gd for them to go into play group.. and guess wat... at the young age of 3 ppl start studying. then after P6.. though it's end of the 'compulsory' education... every1 noe very well that w/o at least an 'o' lvl.. u cant do anything.. so ppl went on.. getting 'o' lvl or 'n' lvl', or ite. after that, there r options, poly or JC... JC then u have to get 'a' lvl.. but with only 'a' lvl.. we cannot do anything.. so we muz strive for a degree... we can choose the poly rotute.. at least a Diploma is SOMETHING... can get a job... but then agian.. to most of the ppl now... degree is the minimum... Dip. is also not enough... all add up.. coz of this.. most have to study for almost 20 yrs... but is this wat u want? study for 20 yrs, then come out, get a job and happily ever after.

wat job u want? wat kind of work u looking for? anybody ever tot of that? well.. i guess most had.. n most didnt get to do wat they want. E.g, u went to Uni sci course major in Chem coz u r very very interested in Chem, n really hope to work in labs or similar. but when u graduate, u cant find the job u want n u settle on sth else like banking... there's no link frm wat u have studied hard for n wat u r working as. this is the case for most ppl. wat they studied is very different from wat their job. this is call ?�`. u cant help it.. coz society cause u to be this way.

I've chosen the JC route.. to get 'A' then go unversity get a degree.. and end up... i cant make it... i can... to a course i have no interest in. somebody once asked me.. 'u have a chance to get into uni.. y u chose to go back poly?' i replied coz my results were not gd enough to get into the course i want. tt person cont'd, 'but at least u can get into the uni!' at that time i really tot i made the wrong choice.. to give up uni.. but then again.. if i went into the course i not interested in, juz to get the degree... coz every1 muz have it.. will i be happy?? no i wun.. in fact i'll be very miserable... most ppl wanna get a degree.. no matter if the course offered interest them anot... juz get a degree... but u r going to spend 3-4 yrs of ur life doing sth u dun like.. juz to get that degree... then when u come out, u do sth compeletly different... so tt 3-4 yrs.. can it considered well-spent?
then got another person asked me, 'y dun u repeat JC2 one more yr, retake 'A' again, then try Uni again' but ans was..i've lost interested.. JC is not a place for me.. i dun wanna stay in there anymore longer... but then they argued tt i can get into Uni faster.. Degree again! y every1 wanna take the shortest time to get the degree? wat does it signify? u r the cream of the crop? u r the best? with tt degree u get get 'gd jobs'? mayb is yes to all the ans... but one thing.. can u truly be happy? if u happen to be in a field u dun like.
i chose to go back poly, coz i'm doing wat i'm interested in... i want to do wat i'm interested in. i dun wanna be the slave in the society... to some of u.. this mayb stupid, mayb immature... some may even ask.. how r u going to survive in this cruel society?? yes, mayb someday i'll surrender to the society.. n like most ppl.. doing sth they dun really like.. but for survival sake... still, i will not give up my interest... will not forget my dream.. no matter how long, how difficult.. i muz fulfiled my dream..

to ppl out there: think wat is truly ur dream? there are many different routes to fulfil ur dreams.. juz how flexible u r... so y give up when they is a possiblilty?

i dunno how many ppl understand wat m i typing.. (coz my english not gd mah).. i oso dunno how many ppl disagree wat i've said.. but this is how i felt abt the society... so dun understand, then dun care lor.. ahhaa

it's abt 2 weeks after my bdae.. to be exact... 17 days.... i recieved a BIG Doraemon.. a belated bdae gift... came as a surprise.. coz i never tot i'll recieve anymore gift.. esp frm him.. haha... anyway, they said my previous Doraemon was 'murdered'... so they noe i wanna another one....

they asked him to get it for me.. for my bdae... hmmm.. i shld be happy rite? to get my Favourite Doraemon, frm some1 who i consider a very very gd fren... but then... y?? haiz.. i oso dunno... mayb coz noe him too well.... noe tt it's not frm him willingly ba...n noe he wun step into those shop n buy de lor.. xh helped de lor... haha.. had a bet with him.. n i lost.. so i never tot there will be a present from him... dunno.. mayb i shld be a stupid girl.. juz recieve n say thanx.. n dun suspect if it's really sincere anot... juz like little girls... mayb i'll be happier.. haha...

i noe yp, xh, ly n wy put in a lot of afford to get this doraemon... i noe coz of this they really went all out... to tolerate the attitude, the nonsense... i shld say this doraemon is from every1.. i muz thank every1... haha...

anyway, no matter wat.. still muz thank him... at least still got abit heart.. haha... n he gave me a chance to c tt i have a bunch of gd gd gd frens... thanx buddies!! LOVE U ALL SO MUCH!

Have been staying in lab these 2 days.. juz to dry my idiotic chocolates... they dun seems to get any drier... i cant get constant weigh!!! haiz... if i cant get dry samples... i cant cont'd with my analysis.. arghh.... anyway, heck lah.. i'm using my way le.. hahaa....

these few days, dunno y.. suddenly feel very de... troubled? oso dunno how to describe lor... juz tt suddenly feel very lonely.. though i got lotsa frens ard me... dunno y.. mayb it's coz THAT person not here lor.. n who's THAT person?? haha i oso dunno...

frens ard me.. so nice.. showering me with all the care n concern.. wat else i want?? how come i'm not as happy leh??? i shld be happy right?? i so xing fu.. not many ppl have so many nice n caring frens de... aiyah... dunno wat m i thinking lah.. sometime really hate myself... y m i asking so much?? cant i juz be contented?

mayb coz assignments, FYP and reports all stress come at once.. then feeling abit sian... but dunno where can let everything out.. coz i dunno how to say my problem out le.. ぃ��?�L??�lиぃ??�f?�Xи�b�Qぐ�\�H�]ぃ�兢L??�l?�oΤㄇ?�瑜�?�X?�~�O�w���骸A�~ぃ??�H?み┪ネ�a�Cagain.. i need a hug... �@?��?и?�o�w饥��?╆�C��?�b�wぃ?Τ�H��?и??��?╆�F�Cぃ恨�O�L?�O�L�C�C�C常�wぃ?�A?и�w饥��?╆�C�C�C

�n�Q�^��?�h�C�C�C�^�欷@�~�e�C�C�Cê?�骇诏u�函u�害nе?�Cesp whenever i heard jay's songs... every jay's songs.. got a story behind de... i'll start thinking lotsa things... n i'd be brought back to the past... so happy, yet painful.. things wun go back to b4... wat i can do is move on...

haha.. dunno wat m i toking abt lor.. heck care me... i'm ok de.. juz suddenly think of lotsa things.. then become abit moody de.. a lot of things.. all fated de.. cant do much.. hahaa...

Went for 3B23 class gathering yesterday. we went Fish n co at the glass hse there... hmm.. love it there.. coz fish n chips nice.. hehe.. ok i dun like seafood.. so other than fish n chips.. i dunno wat else i can eat.. ehehe.... not full force went... 5 guys in class only 2 were present.. haha... then tt 2 very xin fu lor.. hahaha.. esp zac. he ar.. went ard sit among girls.. like big towkay like tt... our yihang leh.. so faithful...guai guai sit there see see laugh laugh... he juz settled problem between him n his gf.. every min can hear her name frm him.. aiyo.. c lah... stilll give ppl attitude.. he himself so �b�G yet act dun care.. ǒ�Wso many days... haha....

our class self high lor.. suddenly suddenly got 3 ppl r july babies.. haha.. then singing bdae song for zac... whole class were quite high... i think most enjoyed the dinner ba.. hehe... on a total we spent $380.. hmmm.. dunno if it can be claimed fully mah??? haha.. zac paid bulk of it 1st.. really gotta thank him sia..

after we went out.. was surprise to c my mr policeman there... mr peng yong hui.. he was there for dinner.. juz tt coz inside no place.. so he gotta sit outside n wait lor.. hahha...

terese suggested to go to china black.. coz free entry... ask if we wanna join.. wy say dun want coz her dad back in SG.. she wanna acc him.. ly they all say very tired... dun feel like going.. then every1 looked at me... hee.. well.. i dun like these places... somemore sure alot of ppl de.. though i wanna go one of these days... however.. guess will go with kor they all or mr peng they all.. anyway, mommy daddy dun like me going these places...

i called cheryl on the way back.. asked if wanna come out rot.. then she agreed.. then oso asked lcm out... he ar... out of hse after 1 week at home.. with fever.. hehe.. rot at cwp as usual...

Wao.. Finally i go watch Six.. tt Thai movie.. listening to Thai.. felt so familiar... haha... then realised tt how much i missed thailand..

ok.. this is a horror movie... n it's nice of JM for accompanying me go watch.. haha.. coz got alot of ppl swear never to watch horror show with me le.. coz i'll be very scare.. then will scream or will grab ppl's hand de.. so sometime instead of being scared by the movie.. they were all scared by me.. hahaa...

this show is abt a grp of 6 guys n 1 girl.. coz of some bet.. went for ghost hunting... then on the way they met an accident... n all the six guys died on the spot... (this i till the end of the show then realised.. haha) anyway, they reached the hse...n try to summon for a spirit to come out... n got lotsa things happened n of coz.. scary element in there.. n of coz.. i kana scared till dunno like wat... tt jm.. as usual.. sat there calmly with his hands crossed over his chest... n watched straight... no expression no actions.. hahaha... as usual.. tt wooden block.. hehe.. then i only the one.. cover ears cover eyes.. hahaha.. sometime nobody acc u do these things abit sian sia.. hahaa... still nvm lah.. on a whole this movie ok lor...

then come back do report... realised tt it's so chim.. hahha... so have to discuss with hang.. then wait for hang to do le.. i add on.. hehe.... but poor hang.. gf there de prob haven settle.. then got this idiotic report let he fan... hard on him sia... hope he n his gf ok...

Finally i got time to update blog liao....
these few days bz like hell.. have to do all the reports.. then got 2 tests... (tml still got another 1). everynight sleep at earliest 1am lor... haiz... but gotta blame myself lor.. last min then do report... hahaha...

time flies... one mth over liao... ting went back liao.. juz come back frm airport... sending xian n ting off... xian left for melb 2 hrs earlier than ting... xian went over for holiday.. this one mth a lot of things happen... n ting was there for me.. n muz say.. luckily she's here with me when things happen... thanx darling.. hahaha....

xian oso went over.. ALONE... haiz.. abit worried.. but she have to learn de lor.. cannot everytime got ppl beside help her do things de... but then this girl.. once panicked she will become very very blur de lor.. n she cant think properly de lor... hmm.. cannot think too much.. muz thrust her.. she can take care of herself de.. somemore got yt... (hmmm... got yt.. ermmm... haha)
my 2 'rotters' away... so far away frm me... aiyo... who will rot with me?!? hahah... 1 week later.. xian will be back... hee...

yesterday 1st session of mentoring after the midyr holiday.. long time never c all my mentees liao... miss them sia..
mentoring changed to every sat 9 am... hahaa... yesterday our session is on goals n motivation... meaning we muz draw out wat we wish to do.. n how we motivate ourselves to reach our goal... here's wat i written on my paper:

2nd half of 2005:
1. finish all my reports n assignements on time
2. finish my FYP smoothly
3. do well in my exams
4. save $$
5. make improvemnets in my singing

2006
1. キ キ �w �w �a graduate
2. Go Taiwan, Thailand, Austraila
3. Get a job that i interested in
4. If can, futher my studies
5. Maintain the frenship i have now with my poly mates

Future
1. Buy my own car
2. Open my cafe cum tuition centre
3. Hire Jason be my chef
4. Hire WeeKeong to help me run my business
5. Learn scuba diving
6. Get my chinese novel published
7. Meet 5566, Energy, Wilber Pan......

Jason told me he wanna be world famous chef, then weekeong say after his ite, he hope to go into poly. then go into buisness... well.. it's great tt they have dreams... n i noe they will work hard towards it de...

then after mentoring, they celebrate bdae for the july babaies.. n of coz.. tt includes me... so this is my third time cutting cake this yr.. together with junhao n sebastian (both mentees)...

after debrief... i tot my tuition starts at 1200... so i rushed off w/o taking my lunch.. end up.. is i blur blur.. my class starts at 1230.. haiz.. i end up no lunch.. so sad...
yesterday didnt really eat till night time when yanxin they all free n come find me.. which was abt 9pm.. of coz by the time i hungry till i abit full le.. cant really eat much...

lcm having fever.. tell him this tell him tt.. he dun listen.. aiyo.. then so high fever liao still dunno how to take care of himself de leh... haiz...

Today went ktv... guess wat,.. we sang of 5 hrs!!! hahaha... with 20 drinks.. heheh drink till we siao sia... 9 of us went.. me, yeepei, liyun, wenying, daniel, yingxiu, teckhong, xiaohua and shuhui. then got promotion.. one for one.. meaning originally we booked the 10 pax room, so have 10 free drinks.... but then got this promotion.. give us another 10 free drinks... plus an additional of 20% discount.. hahhaa.. but this is for 4 hrs...

then thanx to yp... her fren working in there.. then coz not many ppl at the ktv.. so he gave us another hr extra.. so 5 hrs... hahaha as usual.. we sing till siao.... did alot of funny stuns in there.... jump up n down.. like dunno wat.. cant imagine we got so much energy..even at the end of the day.. this is call young ba... hahaha.. coz with my these poly frens.. i always feel so free n young.... as if i still in my teenage yrs... those times when there's no need to worry or think abt so much stuff... wat we worry abt is tt we have not enough money to spend.. n cant do well in exams.. tt's it...

wasnt in a gd mood initailly.. coz fyp dun seems to be smooth sailing.. keep having lotsa hinderance... then coz of... well nvm abt tt.. not impt anyway... but after in ktv,.. doing all those crazy stuff... finally feel much much better... n crazier.. hahaha....

still thinking tml i shld drive to sch mah.. hmmm...

Well.. it's almost done... supposing to be up on my bdae.. but dunno y i cant put my photos up.. well.. nvm.. juz update abit..

enjoyed my bdae.. i have a wonderful bunch of frens.. (can go my livejournal c my updates) hehe..
wait till yeepei's comp ok.. n send me some of the codes.. then my this blog will be offically up!! hahaha

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